Workshop - Santa Ana, CA School – 1977 - Page 6 of 12

Note from proofreaders:  Marsha does the original transcribing from cassette tapes or CD’s and we do the final proofreading.  We strive to give as close a verbatim transcript as possible, so that this can be a companion to the audio files found in the “Links” section.  We work to retain Dr. Bob’s interesting vernacular.  If you knew the man, not correcting his grammar and laid back “Kentucky-ese” makes reading it sound like he’s actually talking.  He’d say “everone” for “everyone”; or “somewheres” instead of “somewhere”, and many more…all part of his dialect of which we’ve tried to remain true.  Notations have been added where there was audience (laughter), which was quite often.  He was a master at keeping the mood up! 
(Audience participation is contained in parenthesis. )
Any emphasized word is in italics.
[ Any clarifications for the reader in regards to Dr. Bob’s references, words, or actions have been italicized inside brackets. ]      

Continued from page 5:

You're always asking those “how-to” questions.  I don't write how-to books; but I will talk to you about it sometime, okay? 

(Okay.)

It's better to talk by ourselves on it.

(Does that go together with what the mind could conceive?)

What I said was that a lot of people played around with an idea that's kicked around that whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve.

(…the body achieves.  I thought if you could talk to your mind, not to be afraid for any particular thing, and your mind know and your body achieve it.  Like with pain –)

Yeah, sometimes it can – oh well, most of those things, sure.  You know we invent most pain and you don't have to, okay?  'Cause you have a little pain, what's the first thing you usually do about it – get scared of it?  Is that what you do, honey?  You get scared of it, right now, and they come through a chargin’, "Oh, it's this and this."  “And I got cancer and I got a brain tumor and I got…” what else, Judy – brain tumors...

(Yaws.)

What?

(Yaws.)

And Elephantiasis from South Africa and you can have the whole works in a few minutes – multiple sclerosis, M.S.

(Leprosy.)

Leprosy – oh yeah, you gotta have that.  (laughter) And Hodgkin’s Disease.

(I thought that positive thinking about it…if I achieve in my mind, I could control – like food and smoking and anything – this come from my mind and my body achieve it.  That’s where –)

Well, that would be part of it, but we went on to this – not everything it can achieve as conceive it does…we talked about some drawings.

(No, but it may achieve?)

Not any thing that you're confident you can do, you can do, okay?

(Oh, yeah, okay.)

In fact, you don't have to go through all that, you know, weirdo…it’s easy enough.  Question, comment? 

(Will you go into energy levels?)

Nuh-uh.

(Please.)

No, not now.  A little later maybe – that's all we’ll talk about.

(Psychic surgery, is that like a medicine or is that like a quackery thing, too?)

The King's clothes came along about that same category there, honey.

(But people do get healed from like Kathryn Kuhlman, and people like that and –)

Oh, people get healed with ever conceivable thing.  I know a guy that picked up a frog's foot and that healed him. 

(I'd like to know what you mean by psychic surgery.)

Well, that's a long subject – go to the Philippines and they'll teach you about it.  There's a guy over there that he goes blip, blip, blip, blup, and pulls about a bunch of stuff and, oh, the blood pours and everthing, you know, and then you don't have any scratches on your tummy and he lays you out all this bad stuff and says, “That’s it, get up, you got well.”

(Then they nail you for $200.)

For how much?

($200.)

Is that all?

(They come to your house.)  (For anything – any kind of psychic surgery?)

(Yeah.)  (Whoa, for $200, it can’t be bad.)

Yeah.  'Course you still have all sorts of difficulties when you get through.  The King wore some beautiful clothes that only the people who were fittin' could see, okay – fit for their position.  And I've seen people healed, if you're interested in such things, from about ever conceivable situation on earth.  And I've also seen them all get sick again if you follow them long enough.  And so I am totally unimpressed by anything to do with healing – period.

(Bob, the boss of the company that I work for sent around an article to everyone – great letter – this big, suggestive letter that, “This is the greatest article I've ever seen.”  But it was a very interesting article about the power of mind.  The conclusion of the article was the gentlemen who was very sick was told that he probably would not recover and he did recover.  And the conclusion was…and the question was, “Hmm, he wasn't supposed to, so could it be the mind that really did it rather than everything the doctors were doing?”  And even the doctors –)

Well, the doctor told him he wouldn't get well.

(Sure.  And he says, “The heck with that.”)

You know if it's just his own self and he said, "Well, I don’t know…hmm," and got up and took off.  (laughter)

(Got well.)

I used to work at sometimes making people so angry that they, you know… When they get all apathetic and give up, I would set and be the dirty old guy and scream and yell at 'em and insult 'em and do everthing until finally they would say, "I’ll show you, you smart so-and-so, I'll get outta here!"  You know, I would accuse 'em of not wanting to get well, of gold brickin', and they never did wanna do anything and so on.  I would just ride 'em until they come unglued and told me off.  And they'd always get all right.  You got to get people to make up their minds – so most people make up their mind to die or to get better or whatever they wanna do, so it all comes back to what you make up your mind to.  Yes, dear?

(Would you talk about making up your mind and also, what is healing?)  (laughter)

Healing is gullibility and we'll leave it there, okay?  Making up your mind is....

(Healing is what?)

Gullibility. 

(Gullibility?  Are you serious?)

I am dead serious, yes.  And making up your mind is simply what it says.  It's making up your mind to one thing instead of saying, “I want to – BUT.”  So, it’s the difference to saying,  “I would like to open the door, but it's too far back there to open it.”  That's not makin’ up your mind.  Makin’ up your mind says, “Well, I'll open the damn door!” and that's it, okay?  So if you said, "Well I'm gonna feel good!  I'm tired of havin' all these dread diseases that I've had over the past few years.  You know, it's kind of wearin' me out – that multiple sclerosis one week, cancer another week, breast disease the next week,” and all these.  You could just say, "To hell with it, I'm gonna feel good!"  It'd be like that.  It has to be emphatic when you've made up your mind, not just guessin' about it.  Might have a little vanity thrown in – but you can't tell. 

(Would you please say some more about healing and gullibility?)

Well, I've seen about ever conceivable thing, I said, used as a healing agent and seen it work, okay?  I've seen slippery elm inner bark cure great terrible disorders. 

(Exorcism?)

I've seen black widows – fuzz off the black widow spider’s belly do it.  I've seen the hair of a black puppy; bore a hole in a tree, and put it in there and stuff it up with gum off another kind of tree and all these things.  I grew up with a lot of folks that believed in black magic and all this junk.

(So it has to do with gullibility?)

If you believe in it, why it's gonna do fine.  If you believe that you can see the King's clothes if you were fit for your job, and you didn't see the King's clothes, you’d say, “Well, it was because I wasn't fit for the job.”  So when the person gets well, which most people do anyway if you don't kill 'em with your treatments, then you give the credit to this and that increases the gullibility.  And the few that didn't, they said well, they didn't believe in it. 

(But it still remains that it worked – that they did get better.)

That people get all right; but whether that had anything to do with it is totally unknown.

(Well, last night when we had the TV on and we were watching – what was his name?  Archery?)  (Oh, Ernest Angley.)  (Ernest Angley do his healing in a big auditorium and people coming by – you know – they could hear again and then he'd get all the non-walkers and they could all walk again and all the non-smellers and they could all smell again.  (laughter)  Really!  It was the greatest show and – the idea was…you know – it looked like it was really working.)

Well, it probably was.  It probably was and then today I could run those people down and they would still be in pretty good shape, but Saturday they've headed back in the same old mess again.  You got to go back to the same crowd – if you'll watch it next week, you'll see most of the same ones there again.  (laughter)  Watch it again next week, will you?  Make you a specific point to do that.

(You’re saying, “Well it could work and last and it could work and not last.”  You’re saying they don't have an understanding of what illness –)

Well, they haven't made up their mind – they're dependent on some outside agent.  As long as I can depend on it, I have a false feeling of confidence.  And a false feeling of confidence don't last very long and usually turns into a false feeling of emergency in less than a week.  I consider false feeling of confidence a dirty trick to play on somebody; but you sure can build it. 

(And how do you work with illness –)

I don't.

(…if you’re not Ernest Angley?)

So, you talk to the guy and see if he would change his lifestyle a little bit so that he has a little more optimum environment, inner feeling, activity and nutrition, and he'll be fine anyway without any healing whatsoever.  Yes?

(I was just gonna say that on the same show there was a little girl who did not realize that she was supposed to believe and supposed to hear (laughter) so he puts his fingers on her ears and says one of her eardrums comes back.  And he says – he puts his face right in her face and she repeats words after him – “amen” and “baby.”  Well, that's fine until he turns to the side of her ear and then she can't hear it – she doesn't know she's supposed to hear it –)

And she can't see him.

(And she can’t see him.  And he's saying, “Amen,” in her ear and she's very clearly saying, “Baby,” back – and he goes back to her face and he says, “She's fine.”)

Yeah, let me outta here – this kid's gonna blow my act.  

(He said, “Well, you almost got it.”)

Right.

(He said, “Just now she needs a little educatin’.  We need to just educate her a little bit.”)

Yeah, get outta here.  But you watch next week if you will...

(Oh and he –)  (everybody talks)  (I watch it because of the game –)

But you see that you'll see most of the people back again next week. 

(He handles those kids very brutal, he gets over their heads and –)

(He handles everybody like that.  He shakes them…and, oh God...)

(The evangelist in “Oh God” is based on Ernest Angley.)

Yeah.  Well, there's lots that'll catch on to him, so have fun with it.  If you want to be well, remove the obstructions to bein’ well and you get well with no healing whatsoever.  And you may heal every week if you want to for the rest of your life.  (laughter)  Take this this week and do that next week and this thing works....Yes, Judy?

(How do you know what the obstructions are?)

Well, I just laid 'em out for you there a minute ago – go towards optimum in your inner feeling, activity, nutrition…

(Wait…okay.)

...environment, inner feeling, activity and nutrition.

(I have it.)

When you get them all towards optimum, you have removed the obstructions to being well…being sick.

(Environment, inner feeling –)

...activity and nutrition.  And you don't have to be a faddist on any of ‘em, just use a little bit of horse sense.  Don't get to be a faddist on any of 'em 'cause that'll scare you to death.  You get so that you take it all serious about nutrition, why you'll be afraid to eat this and you’ll be afraid to eat that and you'll be afraid not to eat it, and you get in a mess.

(When you were in San Diego, I remember your saying that inner feeling was something like 95% and the others –)

Somewheres pretty close and the others make up the other five – yeah. 

(But you still....)

Yeah…about right.

(So, I've got a big job ahead.)

So, why not have an inner feeling of utter delight and go on about your way and everybody'll basically feel pretty good.  Don't you?  You can do that in one day can't you, honey?  [End of CD 11]

Santa Ana School – CD 12

You all right this week?

(Uh-huh.)

And last week you were “Uhhhhhh,” – until last Sunday and you decided that you'd go along feelin’ pretty good and how you been doin’ this week?

(This week, real good, real good.)

Right.  Nobody kept you from it.

(You don’t get any attention when you feel good.)

Right.  I give a lot of attention to beautiful, pretty ladies.  I refuse to give attention to sad and beautiful sacks – except for a very healthy fee.  Healthy fee, I'll look at sick people.  (laughter)  Otherwise, I look for somebody that's alive and ready to go and I have to pursue 'em real hard to catch up, okay?  Right.  Okay.  Question, Judy?

(What does it mean to make serenity your #1 value?)

Well, I don't know, I guess that's what somebody would mean by sayin' they was gonna value serenity and make it more valuable than anything else, Judy?  You said it – I can't improve upon it now.

(No, it’s like, taking your energy – I mean –)

Well, then all right, then I would just – if I wanted my inner feeling to be serene – I'd just start bein’ serene and go on about my business and I wouldn't have any other feeling.  Now, if I had as my #1 value to be sad and beautiful, and my second value was to be serene – now, which one do you think I would probably be all day?

(Sad and beautiful.)

Sad and beautiful?  Oh, I just pick it up without makin’ such a production about it – I just decided I like bein’ – havin’ a ball instead of gritchin' all the time.  So I just start out ever morning windin’ up and getting’ geared up and I go and have a good time all day.  Okay?  Another question, comment?  Okay, we'll break off until in the mornin’ about 10:30.  There's no use talking about 10, nobody gets here. 

(If you say 10:30, do you mean 11 or do you mean 10:30?)

It means 10:30, so we'll say 10 and it means 10:30 – on the button, okay? 

(Everybody talks, then: What time is it going to be tonight?)

You wanna have it at night instead of daytime?  How ‘bout along about midnight?  Eleven o’clock, anyways.  I’m just here, okay?

[Next day – Bob is writing on board]

(Is that “nature” over there, Bob?)

Yeah, the nature of things – the nature of...  [writing on board.]  And this one over here is delusion – unnatural.  Now, we're gonna put feeling up here – “s” on the end of it.  [changed it to “feelings”]  For many years it has been my avocation to be workin’ with people all over the country – my vocation is earning a livin’ somewheres or other, but my avocation is working with people.  And I have found that people are consistently concerned with their feelings.  And they also have a fear of their feelings or they have severe attachment to a certain feeling.  I worked with a lady recently who was a severe alcoholic.  And she told me that about 40 years ago she had a glass of alcohol – the first time she ever had one in her life – I guess she was about Robin's age or somethin' you know – just a little child.  And she got a bubbly feeling all over – it was just utterly delightful – she got this feeling.  And she's been trying to get that feeling ever since.  Now, she knows where it comes from – it comes out of a bottle 'cause that's where she got it the first time.  And she had her drink and she had this wonderful, delightful, bubbly feeling.  She said she felt like a glass of champagne – and she's never found it since, but she's still tryin’ desperately to the extent of about 3 fifths a day.  That's a pretty heavy lick, but she hasn't found it, you see?  She's still trying though.  Now, you might say she fell in love with a specific feeling and to her she should be entitled to have that feeling all day long every day of the week.  But she's never found it again…but she did know where it was one time.  So another person has some other kind of a feeling – I also talked to another alcoholic recently and he was about 15, 16 years old, workin' in a restaurant somewheres he said, and the cook gave him a drink and he felt that he was no longer bashful.  He was – ordinarily felt bashful and reticent and kind of hid out and everything.  And all of a sudden he could just go out and talk to all the pretty girls and everthing.  And he was as big as anybody – and he'd been tryin' ever since – some 30 years to get that feeling again and he's never found it. 

Now, this is what you would call “the struggle towards an illusion” – that you could get a certain feeling and that you could have it again and again and again.  Now, the nature of things is that we are subject to havin a complete range of feelings that are common to mankind.  Now, would you like to name off a few of 'em?  You're subject to havin’ any kind of a feelin’ that anybody else has ever had.  Have you ever had the feeling of anger?  Yeah.   Have you had the feeling of being threatened?  Yes.  Have you ever felt bashful or embarrassed in your life?  Hmm?  You ever been embarrassed, Ci?

(Yes.) 

And it wasn't in particular pleasant, I guess.

(No.)

Have you ever felt fearful?  Ever felt resentful?  Ever felt delighted?  Ever felt happy?  Okay, you’re subject to all of 'em, aren't you? [Each of these questions answered “yes” by the audience member.]  Okay, you’re subject to all of ‘em, aren’t you?  Everybody else here subject to all kinds of feelings.  How ‘bout you?  You're subject to all of those, huh?  Now, you have established your preference through the years, correct?  Now, what's the ones you prefer to have?  What feelings?

(Fuzzy ones.)

Well, which ones are those?

(Joy, serenity, relatedness to other people.)

Well, that's not a feeling.  That’s just kinda pleasant.  You feel like you belong.  You're wanted.

(That's right.)

That's a real nice one, isn't it?  (laughter)  That gives you a nice, gooey feeling inside, huh?  So we are subject to – I don't know how many there are, I've never stopped to try to count 'em out – but I would probably say hundreds, wouldn't you, Gaye?  Hundreds of feelings.  I don't know – there are probably variations of a basic dozen or so, hmm?  Probably a basic dozen and then all kinds of variations, hmm?  What's your favorite one, Robin?

(Enthusiasm.)

Enthusiasm – and you have felt it, right?  But you have also felt total hopelessness at a time or two in your life, have you not?  And that's just about as far from enthusiasm as you can get, right?  But you are also subject to feelin’ hopeless… [writes on board] – that correct, Robin?

(Yep.)

That's right.  Now, feelings are something that comes along according to hundreds of situations.  And, who knows, maybe you ate pickles last night and it has some effect on you late today, I don't know.  But you are apt to wake up or suddenly realize that you have any particular feeling, is that also true, Miss Robin?  Even when you're just goin' purrin' along in your most enthusiastic little vehicle – all of a sudden something can come by and you could feel angry, hopeless, depressed – any number of these things.  So it's very much like birds.  You can't keep a bird from lightin’ in your hair, could you, Robin?  No.  But you don't have to let the durn thing sit there and build a nest.  Hmm, is that correct?  You don't have to let it take up housekeepin’ there and establish a claim on your head.  You just don't need to, right?  But you can't keep him from lightin’ there if that's what he decides to do sometime.  Okay, so we cannot prevent any certain feeling from happening to us.  Now, as you go along and take a certain responsibility to take charge of your feelings, you get so that you have very few of these obnoxious birds light in your hair, hmm?  But you're still gonna be subject to 'em and I suppose everbody is.  I can only knock on wood and say “thank you” one of those vicious birds hasn't lighted there in a while.  There's been no condors or hawks or eagles or any of those has landed on me lately; but I know that I'm entirely subject to it at any moment, okay?  But I am in charge of whether or not I let him stay there and build a nest or not, hmm?  Now, that I'm in charge of.  I can't prevent one from landing there, we'll say.   I'll even say so far that even though one of those obnoxious birds hadn't landed on me in several years, I'm not saying that they won't before the day's over, okay?  Hmm?  I just don't know.  But the point is that once we can take charge...  Now, by takin’ charge doesn't mean to keep it off, but to take charge of how long it gets to stay there.  How long?  [writing on board]  How long does that feeling get to stay with me?  Now, I do have some charge about that.  Now, we have looked that if you change the way you act, that the way you feel will change very quickly.  But most of us have felt that we were entitled to only have certain kinds of feelings – that at all times we were entitled to it.  Now, the feeling of being entitled is what gives us some difficulty.  Now, who of us here is entitled to feel like the glass of champagne the lady told me about – I’d say that's probably enthusiasm, is that right, hmm?  Just super delighted – are you entitled to that, Robin?  Hmm?  Nice, but are you entitled to it?  So, you see the idea of “entitlement” [writes it on board] is only appropriate to an infant.  The infant feels entitled to your utter care, hmm?  That right?  They're entitled to it.  And most of us carried it along with us and still feel we are entitled.  So, if we are – if we feel that I am entitled to always have a certain feeling and some other kind comes along, how do I, shall we say, react?  We don't respond, we just react, hmm?  We had a hissy fit.  You know what one of those are – you know, a hissy fit, huh?  Right then and there – all of us – fall apart.

(Gosh darn.)

Huh?  Damn it.  And so we have these terrible episodes then that we have feelings.  Now, you don't have to stay with that feeling but you cannot keep it from arising, can you, Robin?  Do you have to live with it?  No.  Do you have to throw a fit over it?  Are you the most unfortunate of all creatures because you had a feeling you didn't want for a few minutes?  Now, you can always take charge by beginnin’ to act differently.  You don't have to let the feeling run us.  Now, we've even gotten so far away from the way things really are that anything that is “intellect” [writes it on board] is kind of looked down on these days, you know?  We say, “Well, I can see that intellectually, but the feeling didn't come with it.”  No, it didn't.  That's what you got an intellect for.  Now, you see if you go out here and find a wild creature in the woods, it has very little intellect and a whole lot of mechanical response.  And there's not much you can do with that thing except let it be that way, huh?  It lets its feelings totally run it.  Its life span is usually less than seven years – thereabouts – and that's about it.  And it can do nothing – only a few limited things that it's kind of born as to a mechanical thing to do that.  And you are unspecialized; you can do almost anything, but only because you have an intellect.  Now, if you're totally going to respond to a feeling or react to ever feeling that comes through, we really haven't gained much over the animal world, huh?  Really, we haven't gained much.  So if a feeling comes bargin’ in today that says, you know – “He mistreated me, now I wanna resent him a minute,” I go ahead and do that one – knocked it out.  And by that time another one comes along and says, "You shouldn't a did that" and I feel guilty.  And then by that time I'm feelin’ sorry for myself and I get bogged down in a great sense of self-pity or depression.  It's usually called depression – if you pay for your diagnosis – if you do it yourself, it's self pity. 

(Oh no, it's depression – even if you do it yourself.)

Is it?  It sounds better, doesn't it?  It's a diag-nosis.  And so we have a sense of depression and this can go on for years, hmm?  Because I'm waitin' for it to go away someday, maybe I take a few appropriate type pills – hyper pills – and get myself up a little bit.  But soon as the pill wears down, I'm more depressed because I'm saying, “I am not responsible for these feelings.”  Now I'm not responsible for what might arise.  Anything can happen there, okay?  But I am very responsible for what I do about it, okay?  I wanna keep it or do I just become its victim?  Now, most of us feel a victim of feelings, right?  I'm a victim of whatever feeling and there's nothing I can do about it until it goes away.  You know, we had up here on the board the other day that there was absolutely nothing you can do about anything as long as you were blaming, huh?  As long as you were blamin’ there was absolutely nothing you could do about it.  And if I'm blamin’ my feelings, there is nothing I can do about it ‘til they go away and have you ever noticed they don't go away just because you thought to choose so.  [Phone rang]  What's needed, Gary?

(It's for Gaye, but they don't want to interrupt.)

Oh, I'll quit and give her a break.  Gaye, go answer the telephone – fix the poor guy up before he has a fit.  Yeah, get him straightened out – have a little chat over there. 

[Break]

Hi, Robin.  Did you have a “feeling” last night, dear lady?  No, I’m looking over your head to the beautiful lady right behind you – there’s two pretty ones there – you and another one, okay?  Did you let a feeling run off towards you last night?  Huh?  And was it totally just feeling it, right?  And you became its victim, is that correct?  And until you took charge, why it stayed there, didn't it?

(That's right.)

Made a BAAAH!  Now, can you afford to let feelings take charge or have you got a lovely brain and intellect there to use that you could take charge?  You have it, don’t you?  But for years and years we have let the feelings – whatever happened along and we were just like a chip out here being bounced around, hmm?  That if somebody come along and give you nice things and said nice things to you and approved of you and give you attention and approval an’ nice things an’ the body was comfortable, you had a nice feeling.  You didn't do anything to get it – it just happened.  And then somebody come along and said, “Puh, Puh, Puh, Puh!”  And all of a sudden all the nice feelings gone and you're miserable and so you are not in charge at all.  Just whoever bumps your feelin’ buttons, is that right?  Now, we're gonna make a little box up here and we'll say this is on your chest or your backside (it really don't make any difference) and it's got a lot of little buttons on it.  [drawing on board]  Now, we'll say this is the “laugh” button – somebody pushes that, you laugh, hmm?  Now, we'll say this is the “approval” button – somebody pushes that, you feel pretty nice.  This is the “attention” button, and over here is the “disapproval” button, and there's a “discomfort” button.  Now, here is the “ignored” button.  You went in a store and they just flat ignored you – especially the restaurant.  And we could have this one here – the “love” button, and over here would be one that's – you name it for me for a minute...

(Rejection.)

No I already got that one over here.  Well, we'll put that –“rejection” button.  And this is the "what if" button.  [finishes the “button” drawing]  Now, it’s wide open, it's hangin' out there and anybody can come up and push a button.  And then there's nothing can happen for you until somebody else pushes another button.  So, say somebody come up and pushed your "what if" worry button and you started worryin' – you just have to keep on until somebody comes along and pushes your “approval” button, hmm?

(What about a dumping button?)

A what?

(I got that last night – a dumping button.  My son pushed my dumping button last night.)

Okay, we got one says, “I’m gonna dump you.” 

(If you don’t have one, don't worry about it. (laughter)  What is a dumping button?)

When you know I'm gonna dump you. 

(No, no, his – problems were dumped on me.)

Oh, that is a “sympathy” button – s - y - m - p - a - t - h - y.  [writes it on board]  That's the “sympathy” button and it’s…somebody comes tells me all their problems.  And I couldn't care less…but if I feel sorry for them, huh?

(No, I took his problem on myself.)

Well, that's sympathy, isn't it?  You felt sorry for him. 

(Well, I wanted to solve it for him.)

Well, that's the “problem-solving” button.  (laughter)  That’s one, the “problem-solving” button.  "Do-goodin’" button.  [writes them on the board]  We got a "do-gooder" button – you know – I oughta do good and take care of these poor unfortunates in the world and help all those people that are so unfortunate and so forth.  And so I take all these things and get wound up with them, huh?  Now, you see, I don't want to carry all that bunch of buttons.  I got 'em.  But I went and got me a shield and put over 'em, so that you can't get to 'em.  You don't have to just leave it all hangin’ out, you know, hmm?  And besides that, if somebody pushes it – I can't help it if somebody bounces into it – do I have to leave it pushed in or can I go do something about it you see, hmm?  So, obviously, we can't expect other people to be very careful never to bump the button – it's hangin' out there, huh?  They don't even know they're there, they just might be in an elevator and they bumped it.  (laughter)  And here it goes.  Now am I responsible?  Do I have to stay there from now on until somebody pushes another button?  Who knows, nobody may want to push it for a week, months, hmm?  Have you had the same button pushed in for months sometimes?  How about that, Cici?  

(Uh-uh.)

You haven't, no, I know.  How about you?

(Yes.)

That's more normal people; that's not super folks.  We’ve had ‘em pushed in for weeks and months and years.  Somebody come along and poked it and it just stayed in for years, didn’t it?  'Cause you didn't know you could punch another one.  Now, you see when you punch another one in yourself over here, well that one goes out, you see?  It’s like any of these buttons – you push one in and another jumps out like an old fashioned cash register – when you push one in, if you go push another and that corrects the other one…pushes it out, hmm?  So, you don't have to go along feelin’ any way you don't want to; but you're liable to have any feeling arise before this day is out, right?  Gary, did you ever suddenly have a feeling of anger?

(I certainly have.)

Whenever you run into one of those stupid bees and, you know, they just do this [pantomimes] – why you run and get angry, right?  Do you have to carry it the rest of the day or the week or the years or months?  I know people have been angry for 25 years – you don't have to carry it, do you?

(No you don't.)

You can go do something about it right now and turn you on another feeling.  Now, we're in charge of being able as much to push that button board as anybody else is.  But we have always said, “It's wrong to push my own button,” hmm?  That would be being a phony, wouldn't it?  You have to wait and just let your feelings run it.  Now, when we've determined that feeling is only a sensing mechanism.  [writes on board]  And it's not any great esoteric or occult advice system.  I believe that most people feel that the feelings are some great information from a “Higher Power.”  You know, we've wanted to get in touch with “Higher Power” so much and we got a feeling, we’re saying, “That's it!”  Is that possible, about right, Robin?  You come in touch with somebody and they kind of vaguely remember you of some school teacher that give you a hard way to go in the third grade.  And you've forgotten all about them a long time – but you have an odd feeling about them.  You feel that some great “super power” has given you information that you shouldn't be around this person, that about right?  B.S.!  Have you had that one, Mary Beth?  Say you met somebody and you didn't have just exactly a nice feeling – that something was telling you.  That "something" implies being a “Higher Power” from out on “beyond.”

(Yeah, it was an intuitive feeling.)

Yeah – a special message from “heaven on high” that this was a dangerous situation. 
And, of course, then there was nothing you can do about it as long as this person was around because this great divine voice was always saying, "Warning, Warning, Warning.”  (laughter)  And you had to be miserable because maybe you worked in the same building with this character.

(That's right.)

And there's nothin’ you can do, just be miserable day in, day in, day in, day out.  Because from “on high” you're being warned.  And maybe you've been around – meet somebody today that reminds you of somebody that you used to meet that was very boring, okay?  And so you run into 'em and when you're bored you feel without any energy.  You feel – you know, when you're bored you just don't have enough energy, to get up and get gone.  And so you meet one of these people and they do like this – [pantomimes] the way they shake their head when they throw their hair out of their face or whatever – that reminds you of somebody used to bore you.

(And you get bored.)

And all of a sudden, you feel like you haven't got enough energy to get up and get out the front door.  It’s just a feeling – and you say, “That person sapped all my energy.”  Now, if we could sap energy from each other very well other than by boredom – I can bore you and you get awful tired right quick.  But if we could transfer this stuff around, most of us would never be able to get out of the room again because somebody will be a hog and get it all.  But, you see, I used to work with little babies and everything that were very sick and I would have given anything to have their symptoms because I could handle it.  You know, a baby has a sore throat and a cold and its nose is stopped up – it's panicky because it never had this; and it wouldn't bother me.  And I would have given a right arm if I could’ve had the baby's symptoms so it could have felt all right, but you can't do that.  I couldn't have it for him, could I?  No way.  So, you see, we set all this stuff up that feelings are something other than what they are.  They're simply the outcome of our attitude at the moment and most of us haven't taken charge of our attitude – we have allowed everybody else to have it.  So it is the end result of our attitude at the moment.   And we say that we can't change our attitude; therefore, we can't change the feeling and we have attributed the feeling to being something it is not.  We have attributed it to being a message from “on high.”  You ever done that, Darlene?

(Not that I remember.)

That you felt the feeling was really giving you the straight scoop?  Did you, Cici?

(Uh-huh.)

Yeah, you did do that – that's one little place you did have it there – that you got really human for a few minutes and did like everbody else.  That you thought that feelings were really the epitome of information.  You know, a lot of times we would call them what?  Intuition – that's a pretty word for it, isn't it?  Just an old feeling though, isn't it?  Hmm?

(No.  It's not a feeling, but it's an Awareness.)

Is it?

(For me.)

You're aware of a certain feeling in you and that is what you're aware of – the feeling.  And the feeling seems to be delightful or threatening or somethin’ or other and I say, “I intuitively knew I shouldn't be around that character.”  But, you see, if we had so much intuition – as you refer to intuition, as something that tells you all about what's gonna happen later and how people are and everthing – you never would get involved with us crips, would you?  Con artists and stuff.  Yes?

(Would you define the word intuitiveness or intuition as you use it?)

Well, I don't ever use the word, so you see I can squeeze out of that.

(You just used it.)

Well, I was only usin’ somebody else's word – I was quotin'.  But if I use the word in vocabulary, it would mean an Inner Teaching.  And, you know, I've learned that if I drink sweet milk, there’s an Inner Teaching tells me that's not good for me, okay?  That's intuition.  I didn't have to assume it was somethin' else; I know what it is.

(If the word intuition was put off to one side and we use the word feelings…you know, people have reported to me cases where they have a feeling of doom or whatever you want to call it – they have –)

Doomsday coming up on ‘em.

(It comes up some place.  But they go on to report that because of taking certain actions or counter actions –)

They avoid it. 

(– that certain things have taken place.)

Right.  So in a way they're saying I knew the future, but you don't know the future if you can change it.

(That's right.)

I only knew a probability.  I know probabilities all the time, don't you?  I know there's a very great probability if you went and got in your car and started down the freeway and folded your hands in your lap and didn't keep your hands on the wheel…that you’d wreck.  Now, there's a high degree of probability of that.

(They, whoever ‘they’ is, also report that this comes from way within.)

That's what I know – that's what I'm trying to get verified around again this morning.  That everbody believes that their feelings, which they sometimes refer to as intuition, as being a great source of information from a “higher power”; therefore, they never attempt to take charge of 'em.  That's what I'm tryin’ to get across – that you can take charge.  Now, you can't keep it from lightin’ here – you're liable to have many feelings before the day's over – but you don't have to let it build a nest.  You can immediately start doin’ something and start you another feeling.  Because feelings will arise in accord with the way you are acting.  Now, a feeling and action is almost synonymous – you can’t have a feeling without it visibly expressing through the body if you're really payin’ enough attention to a person to be really aware of ‘em.  In other words, if she suddenly became very angry, even though she kept it closed up and put on her best company smile, it'd show all over that pretty body, wouldn't it?  I could see it; but you, "Heh, heh, heh…just lovely…” you know?  It would be there very visible.  So you cannot have a feeling unless it immediately produces a given set of actions in the body.  By the same token, you cannot perform a given set of actions because you choose to do so with your Awareness intellect.  That won't produce a change in the body and a change in the feeling.  It immediately produces that change in feeling – almost immediately.  You walked in a place last night and you got a given line of stuff you said to dumpin' – you know?  And how long did it take your feelings to change, precious? 

(Just a moment.)

Okay.  Blup blup bup, like this.  Okay.  Now, by the same token, had you taken over and started acting a given way, you would have changed your feelings back to wherever you like it.  Now, you couldn't have prevented this from happening, but you don't have to let it stay there an hour, six hours, overnight, months, years, and so forth?  Hmm?  That's what I'm tryin’ to get across that you don't have to let it stay there.  Now, when I make a little shot at things like intuition and stuff, I've only taken a shot at the fact that people here were to immediately assume they had it.  It's like they heard the word “love” and you have a feeling of being rejected by your boyfriend and it must be “love” because it's a strange, unusual, peculiar sensitive feeling.  Okay?  You've had that haven't you, Robin?  Some little guy rejected you or ignored you and suddenly you had [sharp intake of breath] gripping you – when all it was, was rejection. 

Now, there is such a thing as an Inner Teaching – but it only happens when the mind is at peace, when you're not makin’ anything important and got yourself all anxious.  And when there is a considerable lot of little bits of information, it will pull them together and make something entirely new out of 'em.  In other words, creativeness is seeing relationships that somebody else hasn't seen.  And you already had the little bits here – it may synthesize one or two to finish it out but you had to have the bits.  Gary's computers will synthesize things that have never been put together before, but you got to have the bits in there, is that right, Gary?

(Yep.)

You gotta put the bits in, and then it will put things together in a relationship that's never been done before.  Is that correct?

(And they’re always new and interesting.)

And new and interesting.  And that’s what we – what truly is intuition.  Now, by the same token, if you take charge of how you're gonna feel – by takin’ charge of your action and producing the feelings you like – after a given length of time, not one week, but if you take charge of it over a period of several months, you will find that the feelings are being trained just like horses or dogs or what have you.  And you don't have to bother with them very much because you've trained ‘em – “This is what you do.”  And they do it all the time.  As I said, I haven't had a buggie one hit me in a long, but I know I'm still subject to it.  But you got to take charge, don't you?  And if you just leave 'em out there runnin' around and anybody can poke the buttons on them, it's another triage at all times.  Now, there's no reason for anybody to leave here without being entirely in charge of their feelings.  Now, it don't mean you'll  never have one hit you yet – and you will for a few weeks, months – that you don't like, but you don't have to let it build a nest, keep goin’ and take up room and board with you, right?  Don't have to move in.  They can just come by but you don't have to let them live with you.  And after a reasonable length of time of where you are takin’ charge, you will find that they don't – even those lousy ones – don't even hit you because you're in charge.  You hitched the horse up, you got him trained – he's goin’ the way you want him to.  Now, only after that does the things that you have all possibly read about – unusual abilities, unusual capabilities, which are not unusual 'cause every one of you have the capability of 'em.  But we've never taken charge of the feeling which, by using the intellect, brings all that into being; and it is as natural as breathing.  It is a growing up process.  And as long as we continue to allow feelings to run us, we couldn't exactly say we had grown up, ‘bout right?  Some old gentleman wrote in a book long ago that when he was a child, he thought as a child, spoke as a child, acted as a child, and felt as a child.  But when he put away childish things, he became a man.  Now, you really don't become an adult until you put away letting feelings control your existence – that's kid stuff.  Do your grandchildren let their feelings run their household?  Yeah.  Do we?  Yeah.  Yeah?

(Does this create what you were referring to – as I got it – you said it took place during times of relatively or –)

Serenity or peace.

(…calm or serenity.  Does it ever come forth in, not in moments of urgency, but say a situation is presenting itself.  Will these things come at that time?)

Only if you are relatively serene and there's no total unusual situation arise, you see [snaps his fingers] instantly…in many cases, yes. 

(Well, I don't fully understand your answer – maybe because I was trying to think of my question.)

Okay, I'll wait for you – roll the question…lay the question on me there, slowly.

(Uh…This can take place other than at serene times, or serene times generally that's the only time it takes place.)

That or in a true emergency, not an imaginary emergency, sir.  In other words, if you're driving down the highway and a most unusual set of circumstances suddenly develop right in front of your car, right?

(Control will take place?)

Oh yeah, immediately – it’ll take over – and then you can worry the rest of the day – “What if?”  And get yourself so worked up that you have diarrhea and spontaneous enuresis and, you know, really everthing can go haywire in just a minute.

(To set up the process of creative thought –)

Yeah.

(–if you would go in that direction.)

Creative thought – you set up a challenge and then let it be.  Did you ever try to work out something – either a drawing or a design or something or just a plain problem of mathematics, we'll say?  Or you was tryin’ to arrange something in a writing that maybe said what you wanted it to say and you fiddle with it for hours?  You couldn't do it, said to hell with it, went to bed, went to sleep and woke up and – Boom! – there it all is, it’s smooth as silk.  You had to get in neutral before it could work on it.

(So what you're doing then is reporting everything that you can see related to the problem –)

And then shut up.  (laughter)  Get out of the way and you'll have it all done.  Do you have that little bit in your most unusual material that you do, Gary?  That you finally have to go home and sleep?  In fact, I have known of him to get on an airplane and come over to see us so he could get his head totally off of computers and everything else.  And goof off for a day or two and sit around and look at the pretty girls in the restaurants and eat and so forth – and all of a sudden he gets it goin’.  He goes back and goes to work.  Is that right, Gary?  Yeah, we don't talk about no darn computers or Teaching or anything else when he comes over – we just let him alone.  And very quickly he gets it.  But he runs himself off the paper every once in a while – right, Gary?  He keeps goin' out there and programmin' and then finally runs out of space to program.  Then he has to start over again and that's when you have to be quiet for a while before you can ever get it straight again.  Is that right?

(Yeah.)

Cause I've seen him do it.  I know what he's doin' when he comes to see me.

(I've sort of experienced this in a way that's been interesting to me in the fact that when the stress is really built up, I take a nap –)

Right.

(When it’s just all over the place and I can't –)

It's just runnin' all over, then go take a nap and when you get up, it's all clear as day.

(But 10 minutes afterwards, all that stuff is in its own garbage bin and –)

Right.

(…it's back on the track again.)

Right, that's correct – just go take a nap.  You let it alone.  You have to let it alone so it can be sorted out.  Now, we all have tremendous abilities but we try to have them when we are in a state of turmoil with the feeling.  Now, there's only certain feelings that you can work and use your, shall we say, your more useful or really human capabilities and that's in a state that only humans can have.  You see, enthusiasm, ecstasy – well, I don't know that only humans can have.  I see a dog every once in a while I think has that going on – at least decidedly enthusiastic.  But, basically, we're the only ones that can direct it in that direction.  And in those states, high creativeness that there is no way to describe comes about.  But, first off, before you can do any of those things, you’ll have to take charge of your existence so you are in charge – not feelings.  Because if feeling’s in charge, bluntly, nobody's at home except the usurpers – we say “not-I’s.”  They're at home runnin' the show and the real person has been divvied off to the back room and drugged.

It's like the story of Cinderella.  The old stepmother and the stepsisters took over the house and throwed her out in the back alley – said, “Do the pots and pans and sweep the kindling.”  And only when a good fairy, which represents the Teaching, came along and said, “Get back on the ball,” that she became the princess of the ball, huh?  And married the prince.  Somebody has to take charge and we seemingly forget to ever take charge.  How long did it take you to remember to take charge last time, dear one?  ‘Til you got back here this mornin'?

(Yes.)

Now, you knew how to do it all the time – we've talked about it – but you hadn't really practiced on it enough to remind yourself to do it.  You got caught up in this whirlpool of emotional feeling, right?  That's not necessary, is it?  Russell?

(The process of reporting during this – I’ll use that word for the thing – while this is going on, it still seems to be hard to slow the horses down.)

Well, yes.  I've had horses run away with me.  [End of CD 12]

Santa Ana School – CD 13 

...just have to use your head – I'm more potent than the horse is, okay?  [they’re discussing wild horses as similar to not-I’s]  Now, we stop that horse and get him back in line.  Now, we will…then is the time to do the reporting – after we get in charge; but the first thing you use is Awareness or Intellect.

(So you cannot use the reporting to gain charge?) 

Oh no, that's what you got to get called Intellect or Awareness for is that the horses are runnin' away.  These feelin’s are runnin' all over – a stampede.

(Isn’t reporting and Awareness somewhat the same?)

Not quite.  The reporting comes from the feeling, so at that moment it’s being reported to X by this wild feeling goin’ on that everything's in chaos, okay?  So the Intellect takes charge of the horses first and gets…takes charge of action, which controls the feeling, and gets the feeling back to where you're reporting all is well.  And that's…the reporting is second and the Intellect has a certain responsibility to take charge.  Now, we all have a gift of an Intellect and it's a gift that's beyond all capability of us to determine the value of it.  I think the largest number that somebody laid on me was a googol, which is a one – a digit – with 100 zeros after it.

(Googol, is that what you called it?  Googol?)

Googol isn't it – googol?

(There's a googolplex, but if you see that one –)

That's the number – any digit one through nine with a hundred zeros after it.  It's a great big number and it's worth more than that in dollars or in pound sterling or Krugerrands even.  And I wouldn't trade it for that number of Krugerrands and be deprived of the Intellect – and I don't claim to have any great shakes of one or anything but it's workable, okay?

(Bob, if a person could report 100% of the time –)

By?  We are reporting – the feeling is always reporting to X 100% of the time, but not under our intentional purpose, yeah – intentional reporting.

(But if we were intentional reporting 100% of the time, the horses probably wouldn't get away in the first place.)

They never run away.  That's what I said.  So we have to take off and start takin’ charge of 'em and finally, seemingly, the horses don't run away – at least they haven't run off for quite a while.

(So the horses running is the reflex?)

Yeah, there's nobody in charge.

(That's right.)

You know, [he laughs] you got a bunch of horses out there and nobody in charge, they gonna run away every once in a while.  One over here and then I'll be there, honey.

(Is that the equivalent of the shield you were talking about over those buttons?)

Oh yeah, I'm gonna take charge.

(Okay.)

And if you don't take charge, you're saying, "I'm just a chip on the ocean and I'm a victim of whatever happens."  You see if somebody comes along and you – you know, frequently you hear a person say, "He made me laugh."  The person's saying, “I'm a victim, I couldn't get him laughin’, the bastard runs my life for me.”  And by the same token, you come along and say, "He made me sad."  You're not in charge, so somebody's in charge.  That's why we say you have a gift that's greater than a googol of Krugerrands, hmm?  Which I think is the most valued piece of coin printed in the world today or minted is a Krugerrand – like 160 some dollars apiece.  Then multiply that by one with a hundred zeros after it or a nine with a hundred zeros after it and I wouldn't wanna trade the Intellect for that, okay – because it can take charge.  But if we don't take charge, what are you?  You're a victim.  And you're at the mercy of whatever people you might run in.  So if somebody comes along and tells you nice things and says all the right things to you and gives you all the right things, you’d feel reasonable well except a little “not-I” got up and say, "I bet they go away."  [Bob chuckles.]  You've had that, haven't you?  You met a real nice guy and he took you out three or four times but the little not-I got up and said, "I bet he just goes away – he's probably married."  Right?  Did you ever hear that?  Huh?  And so you went home feelin’ sad anyway, even though you'd had a delightful evenin’ with a man who was settin' you on a pedestal and surroundin’ you with all kinds of goodies, right?  [Indicates]  Over here first.

(When you say you take charge and you can't use reporting to take charge –)

Oh no, the reporting comes second.  That's takin’ charge so I can intentionally report – 'cause only the feeling reports.  And we'll say you got a hurricane feeling going by, it's reporting now; but I got to take charge so I can report what I want to.

(Will you tell me what taking charge is or what you –)

Yes’m, takin’ charge is saying, "I'm going to take charge of the actions that I am acting out so that I will have the feeling that reports what I want it to report instead of this hurricane that's going through here."  Did you have a little minor hurricane last night?

(Say it again – I wanted to ask about what you said a minute ago –)

Honey, it’ll never come out that way again.  I listen to it – I had approved of what came out as I heard it, but I couldn't say it all over again.  I'll try, okay?  That feeling is what reports and if there's a hurricane – you know, you're all upset – you're in a state.  That's what's being reported at that moment; but you have an Intellect that says, “This is a bunch of poppycock – I'm going to take charge of how I'm acting, so I'm going to act peaceful” or whatever way you want to.  And in a very few minutes, you will have that feeling and that is the feeling – that's what’s reported to X.  Now, reporting’s going on as long as you have a feeling – you always have one of some sort.  But I want to be in charge of what's being reported and the only way I can do that is use my Intellect to take charge of how I act, which will then produce the feeling that I prefer, okay?  Yes, love?

(While the hurricane's going by, if you see it as a hurricane or see it as a not-I or false emergency, can't you use reporting then to just name it or dis-identify from it?)

No, that’s just talkin’ to yourself, honey.  Just take charge that you are going to determine how you act.  It won't change anything 'cause that hurricane there or that storm is what's reporting and X is actin’ upon the storm.  You see, we are so construed that X does the appropriate thing for the information it receives and the only information it receives is the feeling I have.

(So it's not of any value to report that you recognize that's a not-I?)

No, I'm just takin’ it away from the not-I – it's very advantageous for me to recognize that I'm going to grab it back from him.  I'm not gonna let that usurper run off with my kingdom – I'm a mean old guy.

(Bob?)

Okay, everybody's hand's up so we'll start again and go back, okay?

(Do I understand it this way – that if I become angry and I want to take charge, I change my feeling to one that's more serene and then –)

You change your acting and not actin’ angry, and deliberately begin to act another way and you have a serene feeling and you're no longer angry.

(Wait a minute, but I want to know why I'm angry – isn't that important?)

Because I kicked you – now, what good does it do? 

(Yeah, but what about a diffused anger that – if I should get that?)

Well, that . . .

(Isn't it important that I –)

Well, if you can have it identified and you can analyze it and you could assign 50 reasons to it and after you told me, "Well, the reason was – that I got angry ‘diffusedly’ (laughter) because of so and so reasons…"  You know what my next question would be?

(No.)

Why that?  You see a little kid taught me about “why” questions long ago.  Some folks next door one day came over to me and said that the husband's father had died and they needed to go to his funeral suddenly, and would I please keep their little boy because he stayed over and visited me a lot anyway.  A little boy named Danny.  So I said sure, so the mother brought over a little satchel with some change of clothes or two in it and left him with me and they was gone.  They said they'd be back in about a week – I saw ‘em nine years later.  And, in the meantime, I had a boy.  I had a little child to raise – he was four-years-old then…he was 13 when they came back.  And so one day little Danny was out in the back and I said, "Danny, come in the house."  He said, "Why?"  And I said, "Because it's gettin' dark, and it's time for you to be in the house…” and do this, that and the other, you know, ‘cause he and I lived together.  And he said, "Why's it gettin' dark?"  And I said, "Cause the sun's goin' down."  He said, "Why's the sun going down?"  I said, "Cause the earth's turned around and the sun goes on by."  You know, I read all these books with Spock and all that crap.  And so I said, "Because the earth's turnin' around and the sun goes down."  He said, "Why's the earth turn around?"  And I said, "Well, I guess that's the way the Good Lord made it."  He said, "Why'd he make it that way?"  I said, "Shut up and come in the house!"  (laughter)  So you see one “why” question is followed by another “why” question and "why that" and so it's totally immaterial why I'm angry.  What I want to do is get the hell outta there.  I could hunt up a thousand reasons, none of which would totally satisfy me.  I was just ticked off, okay?

(Okay.)

You heard about the lovely little gentleman who was kind of Mister Misfortune, hmm?  I'll tell you a why question – even the Lord can't answer the why questions – so I'll tell you a story to illustrate [Bob pronounces it ‘e-lus-ter-ate’] the point, may I?

(Sure.)

Now, a little gentleman, a very orthodox Jewish person, and he lived long ago over in one of the little central European towns.  And he was just the misfortune man of the whole congregation, the community.  So one day while all the family's gone out – his wife had gone shoppin’, the children had gone to school, and he was down at the store workin' – the house burned down.  Burned all their clothes – all they had left was what they had on – just terrible.  So Brother Abraham sit in his front yard and he prayed [Bob affects a Yiddish accent]: "Oh Lord, why me oh Lord, oh why me?"  And he went on for this about an hour and he didn't get any answers so he give up and went and got some kind of shelter for the kids and everthing.  And so somebody set him up a little bit of a shelter and they stayed there a little bit.  And he could pay rent and he got somethin’ goin’ and got a little store.  And then one day he goes down to the store and the night before a water main had broken.  And it just washed everything right out of his store and it hadn’t hurt any stores on either side.  He didn't even have a fixture left, much less any merchandise.  And he fell down there on the sidewalk in front of his little store and he, "Why me, oh Lord, oh why me?"  And he stayed there for over an hour and a half and he got no answer so he went on his way.  So one of the members of the community said, "Look, I have a nice little farm out here in the country – it's got a house on it – it will give you shelter, you won't have to pay rent – you can raise food –we'll help you get back on your feet again."  So he gratefully went out and got the little farm.  And they worked and all the kids worked and they hoed and they dug and they planted and they had beautiful crops – and everything was very delighted.  And the day before time to start harvestin’, a hailstorm come and just wiped it out – there wasn't a stick of nothin' left standin’.  Now, Brother Abraham this time sat in the front yard of the little house on this little farm and he prayed all day, "Why me, oh Lord, oh why me?"  And he didn't give up when the sun went down.  He kept it up all night.  And about 10:00 the next mornin' he was still praying, "Why me, oh Lord – all the other people have nothin' happen like this and everything happens to me."  And about 10:00 the next mornin' he heard a voice boomin' out of heaven said, "Oh, Abey, I don't know, there's just somethin' about you pisses me off."  (lots of laughter)  So even the Good Lord can't answer a why question.  So it doesn't matter why you got ticked off. 

(That’s your answer to a “why” question – “because why.”)

“Because why!”  [Bob laughs at that.]  There's no answer.

(In "Oh God" John Denver asked God, "Why me?"  And He says, "Why not?)

Same answer, you know.  That one is old as the hills – answer a question with a question, you know, that's another good Jewish story.  Somebody asked the old patriarch around the community, "Why do you people always answer a question with a question?"  He said, "Well, why not?"  (laughter)  So all your reason why you got angry is worthless.  What do you want – to know why or get out of it? 

(Get out of it.)

‘Cause if you found a “why,” you found somethin’ to blame and there's nothin’ you can do about it while you're blamin’ it, okay?  All you're looking for when...

(Without the blame.)

Well, you can't look for a “why” without a “blame” because a “why” and a “blame” is all the same thing.  What's the “cause” and the “blame” is a synonym.  Didn't you know that?

(No.)

Check it out, pretty one.

(Let's see –)

What's to cause and what's to blame is a synonym.  Yes, hon?

(Audience member has thick French accent and broken English)  (In the morning we…started to talk about…I'm gonna stay here for the night for the Bible class.  And right away I got such a feeling, you know – I don’t got money with me.  How am I going to go to dinner with everybody?)

Well, I'll take you to dinner, precious.  I'll buy you dinner. 

(We’ll all take you out.)

See, your worries and your anxieties – what if this and what if that.  Like Russell told me this morning – that worry only could occur when he had a time element to do it in.  If somethin’ suddenly happens and you respond to that, that's all right.  But if it may happen, you got an hour to worry over it – then you got a time to kick it up.  So you gotta have time in order to worry.  So you had plenty of time to sit there an’ worry, hmm?  About us lettin' you starve and you couldn't come and we won't take you out to dinner and you didn't bring any money and you'll be embarrassed and, aww, it's terrible, isn't it, honey?  Hmm?  If you wanna be here, you stick around and I'll see that you eat good.  If you need a room I got six spaces up there and you can have one of those.  If you don't want that one, I'll rent you another one, okay?  (laughter)  Now, what are you gonna worry about?

(Just enjoy it.) 

There you go.  [chuckling]  Just have a good time - be glad you’re liked and live around here.  Yes, dear?

(If feelings are what reports to X –)

That's the only thing that reports to X, yeah.

(I get a feeling…I wonder how valid this reporting is –)

It’s extremely valid because you're gonna report a feeling, aren't you in charge of what feelings you wanna report, honey?

(Well, I didn't mean valid – maybe I should have said, how accurate –)

Absolutely, 100% accurate.

(It is accurate.)

It always does the appropriate – absolute appropriate – thing for whatever feeling is goin’ on – whether the feeling is valid or not.  And all we're talkin’ about this mornin’ is to make that feeling valid for me, isn't it?

(But the feeling itself is accurate and doesn't distort?)

Oh, the feeling usually is distorted all over the place unless I take charge.  That's what we're talkin' about doin’, isn’t it?  Is takin’ charge.

(What I'm asking is, if you decide to take responsibility and take charge and you are going to command the feelings that you are going to experience –)

Yeah, what kind of feeling I want…

(If I say I'm gonna be angry, is that the same kind of anger I would experience if the anger came up and –)

If you start stompin' around here and bumpin' things over for about five minutes, it'll be the most real anger you ever had in your life – you'll wanna kill me.

(– so there’s really no difference in what I would experience?)

If it just happened to you, right.  If I wanna be angry, all I gotta do is really act angry for a few seconds – talk angry, the whole action.  I will feel all of it – get all the adrenalin, thyroxin, pituitary extract and have all the extra strength and fully ready to commit mayhem on anybody that gets in front of me.  Mm-hmm, for real.  By the same token, I can act gentle, peaceful, delightful, concerned, loving, whatever, and I will have that feeling, and I much prefer the latter, okay? 

(Well, Bob, when you consider that – is it possible that it could be a false feeling - the anger – the one that she's talking about just to stimulate the anger?)

What's a false feeling of anger?

(I'm asking you.)

Well, I never brought the question up, honey.

(Well, to confuse anger with some other feeling.  Instead of feeling compassion, to become angry because the feeling is…  I’m only able to handle one.  It hasn't happened to me but I was just wondering –)

Well, that's what I figured, it hasn't happened to anybody, so let's don't talk about it, okay?

(Oh, you can't do it, okay.)

Yes, love?

(What I think I’m getting a sense of is – if you are into a feeling and you make decisions about what is, then you distort – you're actually distorting what is and you're reporting to X, right?  You're making decisions, you're making conclusions when you're in a sense – in a feeling sense rather than –)

When a feeling is running, you're tellin’ X – usually – misinformation for as accordin’ to the actual time, place and circumstance.  So we say that the Vicious Cycle gets goin' – maybe that will help answer your question, Diane – that I have a misconception about what’s really goin’ on here.  You see, I don't see that I'm a privileged invited guest at this beautiful estate; I think I'm just here at the mercy of a lot of barracudas that's about to take advantage of me and so forth.  Got it? 

(Got it.)

And so I have a misconception of what I am, where I am, what's going on here – so I will have a false feeling of emergency.  [he writes it on the board]  In other words, I get all upset as though I were being physically “attack-ted” with guns, knives, nooses or what have you, huh?  And there's really nobody hurtin' me now.  How many times have you really been “attack-ted” physically in your life, beautiful one?   And at the most, most of us here, maybe once or twice – you know, is that right?  How many times have you ever been really physically threatened and injured?  How about you, one or two? 

(One.)  (Not too many, but –)

…a few.  Well, somethin' about you just kinda ticks him off and you get more than your share, you know.  But not too many at that even, huh? 

(Yeah, ‘cause I slug right back.) (giggling)

Right, you’re mean.  So we have a false feeling of emergency.  Now, there's such a thing as a true emergency – your car's about to run you down or a meteorite's headed straight down to your head out of the sky.  (laughter)  You know, some of those wild things that happens every day.  But most of our feelings are false feelings of emergency.  Was your big turmoil all night a false feeling of emergency?  There was nothin’ threatening you or hurtin' you, puttin’ on you – nobody shootin' you or tying you up in chains.  Now, when you do that, X does the appropriate thing.  It mobilizes energy to fight or run.  So that makes us in a state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension – I'm all kicked up ready to do somethin’.  I wouldn't be tense if I had somethin' to do, but I don't have anything to do just right then.  No call to do anything.  Now, that requires an adaptation.  The adaptation can go either of two ways – unusual cellular activity, unusual sensation, tissue cell alteration, and breakdown.  Now, it takes a little bit to do that.  Now, the other way is to indulge in unusual behavior.  You go on a binge, okay?  So I can go on a drinkin’ binge, an eatin' binge, a killin’ binge, destructive binge.  I can just go down the street and take radio aerials off of people and strike their new paint jobs up on the side of their cars and gawwwww!

(That's a fun idea.)

That's a fun idea – go down and break the radio aerial off and then scrape the new paint jobs on all the new cars – especially if you see ‘em parkin’ at the end or takin’ up two spaces with their expensive sports cars and stuff, honey.  I used to tell Dan Kirkham, "You know, you're asking for it.”  He’d park in double spaces so his Porsche wouldn't get scratched by somebody openin’ a door against it, you know?  So one day we went out and somebody yanked the aerial off and just scratched the whole top of it out.

(Wow.) 

I know a lady down in El Paso that just got a new paint job on her car and she was runnin' around huntin' up these special places to park so it wouldn't get scratched and somebody took a knife and went [scratching sound] all the way down the side of it.

(Bob, there is a shop in Laguna Beach that for $5,000 in two minutes they'll let you take – go to the glass shop that we were in in the little shopping mall – $5,000 for two minutes – you can break anything and everything –)

... in the place.

(– in the place – oh dear...)

That's really an expensive way of workin’ your aggressions off, isn't it?

(Right.)

Have they had any buyers?

(The guy said they had one.)

One.

(Bob, I'm sorry, I was writing.  The “b” word up there – what did you call it?)

Which one?

(– on the left there.)

This one? 

(That's binge.)

Oh, this one here – you go on a binge.  And up here is unusual cellular activity – that's the first way you adapt, which is a little change in function – that's always the way every disorder starts – physically.  The next is an unusual sensation.  You'll begin to have painfulness, stiffness, soreness, somethin' you can tell the doctor about, okay?  Or especially the neighbors...  (laughter) And then you have tissue cell alteration or breakdown.  Then you have pathology.  Now, that's the only kind of physical symptoms, regardless of all the diagnostic terms we can have – that first is a change in function, a change in sensation, and then the change in the tissue, isn't it?  Can you tell me anything else could happen to a person physically?  That covers every known symptom.  Now, the other way we can adapt… You see this is for good people – they do it this way.  And good “A”s [referring to “A” side of the Picture of Man.] – you know those that "devil may care" – bad people, they do it this way.

(Oh, with the binge?)

Yeah, they go on a binge.  That right, honey?  You don't ever get physically sick, do you?

(I'm very healthy.)

‘Cause you just stuff yourself sick.

(Yeah right, exactly.)

Isn't that right, but you go on a binge when somethin's not the way you want it, you go on a binge, don't you?

(That's right.)

Now, our sweet little friend over here would get sick, ‘cause she's real good. 

(Who – Donna?  Donna goes on binges, too.)

I know she goes on binges, but then she gets sick because she feels guilty about goin’ on a binge.  Yes, love?

(I need to clarify what you said – good “A”s – do one or the other?)

“A”s, they go on a binge.  The person who is very strong on the “A” side goes on a binge.

(The “A” side?)

That’s someone who complains, sticks up for my rights and blames you; and “B”s are the ones that says, “Please everybody, do as you're told by your authorities, and be different.”  They hold it all in, then they go out and they get sick.  So haven't you always heard that the good die young?  So the good ones tear the body up and the other one may distort it a little bit, but they don't tear it up; they just put scars on it, but they really don't destroy the body.  So “A”s live a lot longer than the “B”s do.  That's about it – unless you try one and let 'em have both.  Now, the other way is to do neither one.

(“A”s are the alcoholics –)

The alcoholics and the killers and the mass killers and the robbers and all these and the…

(Do sociopaths fall in that category?)

Oh yeah, sure, they do that.  They go out – what is unusual behavior.  So they’ve become what’s said to be “too smart.”  But I would usually put…you’d be unusual behavior – neurotic, psychotic, the whole schmear.  Unusual behavior.  Now, the other ones – one fills up the general hospital and the other one fills up the jails and the mental hospitals, okay?  Same difference as far as I can see.  Now, they're the ones [“B” side] that's unusual cellular activity and unusual sensation, they’re the ones who have heart attacks, seizures, infections, and terrible disorders. And the other [“A” side] is the ones who are out and about and they end up locked up in the mental hospital or the psycho wards or the jailhouse.  Okay?  And so they're very easily, pretty well, evenly divided; but you know, if you want to get flowers, you be “good”.  'Cause if you get unusual cellular activity, unusual sensation, and tissue cell alteration, you get yourself all…and somebody will send you get-well cards and send you flowers.  And you get on the other side…”Aghhh.”  But to me it's all the same.  I’d as soon send flowers to the guy in jail as the one in general hospital because...

(I'm confused – in my class in L.A., we've been doing this exercise on…you know, I'm reporting – observing and I am reporting to X that Debbie's experiencing a feeling of inadequacy or whatever, you know?  And it seems when I'm experiencing these feelings and I've been doing this, things just diminish or take a big chunk or a big hack at the, you know, at the problem or the feeling.)

Well, let me slowly go through this now.  Don't jump at any conclusions – you're being aware of the feeling, is that right?

(Mm-hmm.)

And you're also, in spite of yourself, aware that that feeling is kind of kid stuff.  And you kind of cut it off and take charge of how you're acting a little bit and it always slows it down, doesn't it?  In other words, Debbie's acting or is experiencing the feeling of inadequacy.  And you know you're as inadequate (for real, hmm?) you know that's a big joke, don't you, honey?  You know you're not inadequate.

(Absolutely.)

Well, all right then you start actin’ a little bit different, so you feel a little bit different.  The very fact that takin’ charge and lookin’ at it is one way of takin’ charge a little bit, isn't it?  

(Is that how it works?)

Now, if you want to prolong it over a period of time, that's good.  Now, I'm tryin’ to get it over with ‘cause I want to go home Friday night. 

(It's just a better way to –)

Now, if I was gonna stay here, I'd see if I couldn't drag it out longer so I could have you come in every week for several months, you know – suit yourself, you know?  I'm a practical businessman.  (laughter)  Now, I can do it slow or fast – which way do you like it?

(Fast.)

Okay, that’s for everything except a few things.  (laughter)  So we'll give you all the questions we can and push you as hard as I can push this week, Debbie, okay? 

(In other words, instead of reporting about that feeling, I could just start acting really –)

‘Cause that's all you’re reporting about the feeling is you're getting aware that the feeling is runnin’ your existence, isn't that right?

(Right.)

That's all you accomplish…and that you don't have to let the feelin’ run your existence, correct?  That the very act of seeing it, “I'm lettin' this inadequate feelin’, which I couldn't help from arising, but I don't have to keep on livin' with it,” okay?  Yes, love?

(Is there any value in looking at it as recognizing that it's not the real you and that it's the conditioning?)

Well, the real you is the one that's in charge – it doesn't have any feelings.  So, yeah, you could look at it that way – “This is not me, that is a not-I wantin' to have it – and I'm not gonna let it have my house.”  In other words, I put it simple and said, “I won't let a usurper take over my apartment,” okay?  See if I come home and there’s some guy's moved in and has himself sprawled out on the floor in the apartment and moved in his baggage and his booze and what have you.  And said, "I'm livin' here," and I don't even know him, I'm gonna kick him out – throw him over the highest balcony window and let him hit the ground and see what kind of smash he makes.  I don’t want him in there – he's a usurper, huh?  I'm payin' the rent there, huh?  Yes?

(What Debbie, I think, was describing is…Darlene, she is, the experiment where you report what is going on, it’s related to a dis-identification.)

Sure – that's what I said, you dis-identify from the durn feeling and that's not you, right?  I think I said it the same way.  I clarified it that – by the very fact of looking at the thing, the feeling and that you've been lettin' it run it – you could see that, "Well, I don't want that thing runnin' me."  Is that right, Debbie?

(Right.)

It took over and run a little bit, so you can do it as long or as slow as you like, okay?

(I want to do it quick.)

You can take over right now, okay?

(Is it possible to have two feelings at the very same time, or did you say that was not possible?)

I don't think you can do that, no.  You can't stand up and sit down at the same time, so I don't think you can feel angry and enthusiastic at the same time.

(I think I felt first of all angry.  I felt angry; and then I felt fearful –)

Oh naturally, you always get scared at those angry feelings.  You're liable to do somethin’ terrible.

(And it seems as though they came in –)

One thing right after the other.  Well, that's right, they come in like, you know, peas in a pod.  There's several of ‘em there, but they're all not on the same tracks.  In other words, I could follow you and I could step right behind you; but I can't walk in the same tracks you’re in at the same time you're in 'em.  I have to wait ‘til you step out of 'em, right?  Sure, we have one feeling right after another.  Yes, love?

(Will you tell me again what these things are on the bottom of the board?)

Right here?  Chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension or mobilized and unreleased energy.  See, when you get angry, you mobilize a lot of energy to kill.  That’s the only reason to get angry – is to kill, isn't it? 

(No, punch the other person.)

Well, give away and punch him.  Well, punish him, kill him – that's the best punishment there is – kill him.  (laughter)  So you mobilize the fear and a certain amount of energy gets released, okay?  And you don't fight him – it results in sickness.

(Yeah.)

So you have mobilized and unreleased energy, right?  And it has to be used up some way.  So X in its wisdom picks out some place in the body and begins to have a group of cells do somethin’ they ordinarily don’t do.  That's unusual cellular activity – a change in function.  And a change in function always produces a change in sensation.  So you have a pain, a fullness, a stiffness, a soreness, an aching – all the words that people use to describe the range of symptoms.  And if you keep it up long enough, finally the tissue cell is altered or breaks down and you have a lesion.  But you only have the physical symptoms that is available to us – change in function, change in sensation, and a change in the tissue.  If it's in one place, we call it one thing.  If it's in another place, we call it another thing; but it's all the same stuff – normal adaptation to a state of stress… mobilized and unreleased energy.  Did you ever mobilize energy – you know, get all excited and ready to go do somethin’ and you didn't do it or…you gotta do somethin’ with all that energy.  You have enough energy mobilized to jump off that table on to the floor back there, you can do that fine.  If I cut a hole under the carpet and you went through it deeper and you only had the energy to hit the floor, you’d break a leg. 

(Can you say that again, Bob?)

If you have enough energy mobilized to jump from the top of the table to the floor – that won't hurt you.  But then I'm gonna be one of these guys that takes people on snipe hunts, you know?  I pull the carpet up and cut out two inches under there and stitch the carpet back over and you jump.  You got enough energy to go to the carpet but you don't have any prepared to catch that 179 pounds when it goes the other two inches and break a leg.  Actually, you're severely injured when you go the other two inches that you don't know is there; ‘cause all that weight’s goin' down – momentum – and you wasn’t prepared for it.  So that's the lack of mobilized energy and, in that case, you tear somethin’ up.  Do you see…what little thing?  Okay.

(How is it – like with a physical release – in sports or something else like that which –)

Well, you usually mobilize the energy for the sport as you goin' doin' it, so it don't use up the mobilize and unreleased.  You're using it to do some sudden violent activity – like over in Japan, in many factories, they have one room full of punchin’ bags with faces painted on ‘em and the boss’s name on it.  And the employees can go in there and beat the hell of it every once in a while.  And they say they feel a lot better.  But the boss furnishes a room full of punchin’ bags with his face and name painted on ‘em.  So they can all go in there and work their aggressions off with the boss.  And then they have a few blanks they can put their own faces and names on – you know, like somebody else in the plant they got angry at.  But the boss is already prepared for 'em.  Yes?

(The people that feel they're entitled to things – that end up in the courts and jails and whatever.  What are they really looking for when they're there?)

That ideal feeling that they are entitled to it and if they don't have it, they're entitled to raise hell, okay? 

(But they don't get sent flowers there.)

No.  But I said I’d send ‘em flowers 'cause I figure it's the same difference, you know? Everbody else sends flowers to these; and I don't ever send flowers to them.

(What do you do to them?)

I go down and…like the kids, and say, "As soon as you feel good, you’ll get your allowance again."  I told you about that, didn't I?  Somebody else left a couple of kids with me – I picked those up on my own.  And I took them and they got a regular allowance as long as they felt good all week.  If they didn't feel good that week, they lost their allowance.  So it's no advantage in not feelin’ good.  No advantage in it.  And I worked with a guy in the jail and he told me – now, course all he's doin' is rebellin’ because he didn't feel like he wanted to.  And then the by-product of his goin' to jail, he didn't intend for that to happen.  However, I've had ‘em tell me that they really enjoyed being in court because they sit there and looked around and thought, “That judge and all these other people and all these things in the court – they're here because of me and I'm more powerful than they are – they could’ve all been out playing golf or workin' today, but they have to be here because I'm here and its all done for me.”  So that's giving ‘em a certain sense of importance sometimes.  But they didn't do it to get in jail – most of 'em.  They did it to rebel against – “I was entitled to have my way and I didn't get it, so she was in front of me, so I'll mow her down.”

(So, you said you would send flowers to them?  Is that the way it works?)

No [chuckles] I was just kiddin'.

(I know.)

It's not gonna do anything – I was just makin' a small joke, sweet one – that people feel very nicely and gooey and warm about you adapting by unusual cellular activity and unusual sensation.  That's respectable.  And the other way of adapting is goin’ on binges is not respectable – yet, is it?  We're gonna make it respectable so all us bingers can be respectable and we'll make those others unrespectable.

(Right.)

Right.  Be a stigma on goin' to the regular hospital and no stigma on goin' to jail or the psycho wards. 

(Bob, if someone came to you and said.  "I was just in court and the judge slapped my hands for drunk driving” or whatever, you know, and came to you for like sympathy or something – what would you say?)

Well, I sure wouldn't give him any sympathy.

(All right – well say he's telling you a story that “The big bad judge has slapped my hand” –)

Well, usually I ask a few pointed questions in there.  We usually decide that maybe the judge was too damn nice to him.  But I get him to tell me he was – I don't tell him so 'cause I like him just like he is.  I like drunk drivers just as long as they're not on the same road with me.  You see, you wanna fix things.  I'm just lookin' at it.

(I wanna fix things?)

Yeah, [chuckles] you want to fix it.  I don't want to fix it.  I did hear a man said, "When you see a man down, kick him – he has a reason to get up."  And it does work a lot better than sittin' down there on the floor with him and moanin' with him. 

(That's what I'm trying to understand.  Because it seems to me –)

Okay, is that what you're askin' about, okay?  So when you see a guy down, kick him – he has a reason to get up.  If you sit down there and cry with him, he has no reason to get up.

(I understand that but I see the person sitting on the floor crying being –)

And everbody goes and takes care of him.  And if you ignore that – and I've had a lot of fun tellin’ them that they've never done anything worthwhile – they might as well go ahead and die and get it over with – quit using up rooms and everthing.

(I understand – but I'm saying –)

Hello, Max, and salutations!  I tried to call you the other night – got the wrong place – I didn't find you.  Now, what, honey?

(I was saying I understand when a person is sick and they’re moaning and groaning – you kick 'em and all that.  But what do you do with the guy who's in the other group?)

I laugh at him – that hurts worse than anything. 

(What do you do?)

Laugh – he's a kid – aren't you a little kid when you say, “Well, if you didn't just have more to eat…” and they bring you another bottle, you'll feel all right, huh?

(Yeah.)

You sweet, little child.

(What about the guy in the psycho ward?)

Leave him there. 

(Just don’t pay any attention to him?)

Leave him there. 

(Are you saying they – well, never mind.) 

I wasn't trying to correct it – we were just talkin’ about it, Diane.

(What?)

We were just talkin’ about it – I wasn't tryin’ to straighten it out now – 'cause there usually isn't anything to do except do what's goin on anyway.  Just don't get in the same boat yourself – that's all we're talking about, okay?  There is other ways to do it and we've been talkin' about that.  Those are goin' on and doin' it anyway so don't try to save the world, dear one.  Max walked in and he has a missionary impulse, you have a missionary impulse; but let's dump 'em all in the trashcan as soon as we go out, okay?  Yes?

(I get this feeling – not that I want to save the people in the jails as a missionary impulse; but kind of like cleaning up because I don't want to receive a drunk driver –)

So I'm always ready to – more than happy to – work with them if they ask; but there's nothing you're gonna do with them unless they ask anyway.  He can't hear you if he don't ask. 

(So all those programs, you know…unless they really…they’re not doing too much.)

Well, they are using up the grant money, honey, (laughter) and like any other, I’m going to take it.

(They have to use it up every year.  Or they don't get the money the next year.)

Right, but I – well, you can always show how much you've done; but I'm more than willing to take the grant money, okay?  But that's the main thing it does, yes.  Because unless a person really wants to find out somethin’ for himself, there's no use in us goin' out and try to convert him, you know – that's for the birds.  Do-goodin' is wonderful for the doers and not much on the "done-ees" – you know?  (laughter)  The "done-ees" don't get much out of it.  [he chuckles]  They just had to put up with it.  Well, shall we call it a morning?  And Neal has an announcement to make.  He said he figures I'm not doin' enough here this week, so he's gonna put me some more out.  Neal, it's all yours.

(When are we comin' back?)

I don’t know – 2:30. 

(Neal:  Okay, tonight at…I don't know what time; but we're gonna get together and discuss the Scriptures, quite interesting.  Bob, what time do you want to do it?)

Well, I really didn't want to do it at all; but how about 9:00?

(Wonderful.)

Somebody bring a Catholic Bible with you if you want me to talk on it.  I don't understand the Protestant version. 

(Do we have a Catholic Bible?)  (Oh, fantastic.) (everybody talks)  (music comes on – “I Will Always Love you” – the original Dolly Parton version – to the end.)    [End of CD 13]

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