Workshop - Santa Ana, CA School – 1977 - Page 10 of 12
Note from proofreaders: Marsha does the original transcribing from cassette tapes or CD’s and we do the final proofreading. We strive to give as close a verbatim transcript as possible, so that this can be a companion to the audio files found in the “Links” section. We work to retain Dr. Bob’s interesting vernacular. If you knew the man, not correcting his grammar and laid back “Kentucky-ese” makes reading it sound like he’s actually talking. He’d say “everone” for “everyone”; or “somewheres” instead of “somewhere”, and many more…all part of his dialect of which we’ve tried to remain true. Notations have been added where there was audience (laughter), which was quite often. He was a master at keeping the mood up!
(Audience participation is contained in parenthesis. )
Any emphasized word is in italics.
[ Any clarifications for the reader in regards to Dr. Bob’s references, words, or actions have been italicized inside brackets. ]
Continued from page 9:
(Just to get rid of –)
And you’re always gonna eat just one more cookie; and then, “I’m going to quit and put ‘em away.”
(Right. And it’s just the same thing to get rid of all that conflict.)
Well, isn’t that what you do when you’re all caught up in here? You got your attention distracted off of those demons screamin’ at you – but, of course, they’re laughin’ up a storm ‘cause they got you doin’ what they want you to do. You could leave the basement instead of eatin’.
(Also, you know, I understand about not blaming others, but I’m not quite completely clear on not blaming yourself.)
Well, what blamin’ self is, is this one is blaming this one [he points to decisions 5 and 6 on the board] – this one is blaming this one, you see? This one’ll start here… Now, the one that says, “You oughta be different,” is blaming you for blaming. And the blamer is blamin’ somebody else because you aren’t different, is that right?
(Man, I’m losing you.)
Well, it is confusing – but, you see, this one [he points to #5 on the board] says you oughta be different. And this one [he points to # 6] is a blamer. So this one says, “You should be different and never blame other people.” Right? So now you’re blamin’ yourself. But this one says, “If those other people were different, I would be all right.” That’s the way it goes, isn’t it? If everbody else would straighten up and fly right, you’d be all right, wouldn’t you, honey? It’s just that the world is so full of so many jerks and it’s just impossible to stand up to it, huh?
(Right.)
And so finally you get down to blamin’ yourself. Now, it makes no difference who or what you’re blaming. As long as you’re blaming, nothing can be done about anything ‘cause you’re so fiddlin’ with the blaming. So this one here says “you oughta be different” but you’re not different so obviously you’re to blame for not being different, hmm? Now, what’s the difference? It’s all not-I crap. So it’s just as funny to blame yourself as it would be to blame me. Hmm? ‘Cause nothing nor nobody’s to blame – when you leave here, you can go do somethin’ about it. Now, what’s happened? You see a certain condition, as we said – you go in the parkin’ lot and you can’t find a parkin’ place while they’re Christmas shopping. And you say, “Well, if I…” – this one jumps up and says, “If you’d only been thinkin’ properly, there would have been a parking place for you right up here near the front door of the store you want to go into.”
(You shouldn’t have left all your shopping ‘til the last moment, too.)
And then it says, “You shouldn’t have waited ‘til the last minute and what are you doin’ out here runnin’ around – everything will be picked over and you’ll get nothing you wanted, anyway. And it’s all your fault, so there!” So what’s the difference? Or if you said…
(Just the not-I’s.)
“Well, my husband wouldn’t let me go shoppin’ and he finally didn’t give me any money for Christmas until the day before Christmas. And I had to run out and do all this all at once and now I can’t find a parking place,” huh? So what’s the difference?
(It’s just the not-I.)
Not-I noise either way – so you don’t have to be bothered with it. So, do you see that no blaming – whether it’s self or other – is any valid? That’s just listenin’ to a not-I and identifyin’ with it or agreein’ with it and accepting it as [his tone changes to mock-reverence] your great teacher who’s going to tell you the nature of your terrible existence.
(Is it okay to say like, “I hear you, not-I”? Do you agree with that when – the not-I’s – you know…)
I would rather go up on the first floor where I don’t have to listen to all that. You see, I don’t like to stay around a bunch of contentious folks. I would rather go up and sit amongst the pretty plants, and the nice soft music of the stereo, and loungin’ in front of the fireplace on the main floor. Why stay in the basement and clutter around? You’re not obligated to. There’s nothin’ worthwhile for you down there, hmm? Do you have any addiction to the basement?
(No.) (Sometimes something happens or somebody asks something, and then I find myself – I don’t even think and I say something and –)
Your mouth got in gear before your brain got kicked in...
(Right! And I recognize it was total not-I response, so I say “WHAT?” (laughter) You know, and before I was acquainted at all with any of this, if that ever would happen, the other person may have said, “Now, that’s how you really feel.” I mean that’s just –)
Oh yeah, that’s the real you there and we got to straighten you out. That’s right – that was a not-I over there. You see, it goes on inside and outside. You see, whether there’s a not-I sittin’ talkin’ here and another one over there, we got us a big fight goin’ because they like that better. But if you can’t have that, let’s just do it in one stable. They can do it in one head or with a multitude. They can start World War II, III, IV, and V – they’re well on their ways. Do you see? But it’s all not-I’s. Now, when we cease to put any value on what they say and, preferably, by all means leave their level – get out of the pit and go up on the first floor – you don’t hear all those rats, mice and creepy things crawlin’ across the floor day and night. You’re not stuck in the basement, are you?
(Mm-mmm.)
Hmm? You’re not stuck in the basement. You know, I heard a story… [Vi raises her hand] Excuse me, Vi, I’ll be there in a minute. I heard a story that a man inherited a great estate – that man could be any of us, of course. And when he arrived, he took him in a gate where he went into a little buildin’ where they carried the garbage out from this big estate. And he said, “Well, this is my inheritance.” And he sat there and several people come by and said, “Look, you have a beautiful big farm plantation here. You have several big residences on it. You have beautiful driveways. You have lovely horses to ride. You have peacocks walkin’ on the grounds. Why don’t you go out there?” He said, “You’re tryin’ to pull my leg! This is what I got. This is what I inherited and I’ve been here for 20 years and I guess I oughta know what I got. What are you tryin’ to do, make a fool out of me?” And so you wound up as you came into the place. You fell in the basement one day and you said, “Well, this is all I got.” But I’m trying to tell you there’s a whole mansion up there if you’ll but climb the stairs. And it’ll take you approximately 30 minutes to climb the stairway, okay? And you’ve got a fantastic mansion, lovely views out all the windows, lovely gardens out all the doors, but you say, “No, I got to stay down here in the basement and listen to these cats scream at me.” You don’t have to stay down there, do you? Now, if you didn’t know there was a stairway and didn’t know how to get out of there, I could understand that; but I’ve pointed out the stairway very carefully to you many times in public and many, many, many times in private this week, hmm?
(Mm-hmm.)
And you want one more, is that right?
(Sure.)
I’ll tell you again. (laughter) Yes, sir?
(Well, I’m confused. If, if –)
That’s the understatement of the year, right there. (lots of laughter)
(The “I” being just a function –)
That’s right. I wouldn’t say just a function. I would think that to be the Awareness Function of X would be the most elated thing I could conceive of, okay?
(Okay, I retract that. Who is the “me” in the basement then?)
Well, that’s “I” went down there and sat there and stayed there. The Awareness Function of X went down there and said [in a bit of a whining tone], “It’s the only place I got – it’s the only place I can function is down here. And I have to have my advisors to tell me ‘cause I can’t hack it on my own up on the main floor ‘cause I’ve never been up there; but I know I couldn’t do it, I haven’t got a degree – nobody’s given me permission to do it.” So the Awareness Function of X stays down in the basement and listens to all this claptrap. And then sends X the feeling that he has about what they said, which is usually pretty miserable – which is what keeps feedin’ the not-I’s ‘til they get stronger and stronger until they really totally take over the place. And, like all parasites, they finally kill their host. And I don’t know what happens to ‘em after that, but I imagine they’re lookin’ to grab another one right quick. You know, a parasite’s never very bright – he eats his host to death, and then he hasn’t got nothin’ to eat anymore.
(The function then malfunctions.)
Hmm?
(When you’re blaming yourself, is it really a not-I blaming you or blamin –)
No, it’s just a not-I blaming another not-I and you identify with all those friggin’ “I”s as being you, which is a total lie.
(That makes sense.)
That’s what we mean by identification. So “all” you are is the greatest thing on Earth. You’re the Awareness Function of X, been invited here to enjoy a beautiful party put on. And you sit in the basement hopin’ one of those cats will tell you somethin’ worthwhile, and all they do is give you misery, is that right, sir? Now, how’s that confusing, sir? Hmm?
(I don’t know, but it is.)
That’s the not-I talking, too.
(Yeah.)
Yes, sir? You’re cancelled, okay? Yes?
(The difference between the not-I and the real I is that the real I is just spontaneous creative action and the not-I’s are talking all the time?)
Well, the real I is only paying attention without condemning or justifying. And the not-I’s are aliens, which have invaded the space and take over and they are authorities of the nth degree, okay?
(And what’s the real I again?)
The Awareness Function of X – it sees something and acts upon it. You see, if I pick this up and I let go with this [he makes like he’s going to throw something], I’m gonna get hurt. (You don’t have to play, okay?) You saw something. You didn’t approve or disapprove, you just reported to X a feeling and X did the appropriate thing – “scrooched” you up so you wouldn’t get your little eyeballs hit; and you didn’t remember doing a one of ‘em. You don’t, do you?
(So it’s spontaneity?)
Spontaneous response – without an ideal. See, we never do anything spontaneous. As long as this cat’s sittin’ here and tellin’ us, “It oughta be this way,” there is no spontaneous action. There is only trying to do the “right thing” to get the ideal, which you never get ‘cause he knows what to do. He’s got you runnin’ after it – like help you try to chase a carrot on a stick hung over his neck. You know how the hare runs – the carrot’s always stayin’ just over his head, right? Is that what you’ve been doin’? You can call it happiness or whatever you want, but that’s what you’ve been doin’ all your life, hmm?
(Yes.)
Okay. It seems to me, that’s simple and clear. I don’t guess it’s clear as mud anyway, but it’s clear to me. Yes, dear?
(Do all human beings have not-I’s?)
Until they all come around and you can move up on the first floor in the upstairs and not know it, but they’re still in the basement. But why go down in the basement with ‘em? I don’t care to spend my time in the basement. Yeah, I’d say everbody does. It gives us a nice little second force to keep us reminded to be awake or else we get taken over by the demons – the “evil one” it’s called in certain material, okay?
(Last night I was able to use this method, this way of dealing with the not-I’s; but it took much less than 30 minutes.)
Well, I know, but I’m giving you the extreme. I’d rather it would take you 29 minutes than to tell you it would take you 25 and it took you 26 – because then you’d say, “Hell, it didn’t work.” But it usually takes a split second; but I always allow 30 minutes to be well on the safe side so somebody won’t come around here and say, “You misled me.” I don’t mind you come and tell me I misled you when it happened in three seconds, instead of 30 minutes. But you see if I said, “Well, it’ll always happen in a few seconds,” somebody would be…“Well, I waited eight seconds and it didn’t happen, so you lied.” Now, you’re really a victim. So I always tell you it’ll take at least 30 minutes, but I don’t see it – it could take as much as 30 minutes, but very seldom. Usually only takes...hello...
(Hi.)
Hi, how are you?
(I’m fine.)
Any more comments, questions, viewpoints, etcetera?
(Bob, I was going to tell you that I get such a kick out of reading bumper stickers, you know, and they’ve started complaining.)
Oh sure, they’re all complaining…they’re resistors.
(I saw a cute one coming up yesterday and it said, “It takes studs to build a house.”)
Right.
(And then there’s the one that likes to blame and he says, “The devil made me buy this car.”)
Right. (laughter) I had to please the salesman – I couldn’t turn it down because he would have been upset, then his feelings hurt if I hadn’t bought it – after he tried so hard.
(I like the one that says, “Honk for Jesus.” If you honk, everyone will turn around and look…)
No, it says “Honk if you love Jesus.”
(Honk if you love Jesus.)
And if you love it, somebody’s, “What the hell’s wrong with you?” (lots of laughter)
(There’s a guy with a new bumper on the backside, he says, “I keep my thoughts inside.”)
Right. I like that one.
(I do, too.)
But, preferably, my bumpers are bare. They just go around totally in the nude.
(That’s the way I like it.)
Hmm?
(I like it that way.)
Yeah, I like my bumpers hangin’ out in the bare nude.
(No fish.)
No fish, no bells, no nothin’.
(No Christmas wreath.)
No, no Christmas wreath hangin’ on my tail or anything. You heard about the guy who pinned a piece of mistletoe on the back of his pants, didn’t you?
(lots of laughter) (No, I didn’t Bob. Tell me about it.) (more laughter)
[Bob chuckles:] He’ll tell you about it. (laughter continues)
(I’m a little slow there, aren’t I)
That confused you there for a minute, didn’t it?
(Bob, I’m still battling with the goose.)
You haven’t got that goose out of the bottle yet, huh? Okay, we will be back this afternoon – let’s make it 2:30, okay? We’ve run overtime here a little bit and I apologize.
[Picking up after the break:] Okay, there’s nothin’ worth recordin’ this time. You don’t have to turn it on.
(Oh, well. I’d like to be the judge of that, okay?) (lots of talking)
[reading a sign someone has] “Take care of me – I’m hard to replace.” Why not say impossible?
(Well, I think anybody’s impossible to replace.)
Yep. There’s nobody can be replaced because you can’t make a duplicate of anybody. So it’s not only hard, it’s impossible.
(Okay.) (I’ll change it.)
Yes, Chris?
(Do you think they’ll ever be able to do clones?)
Well, why don’t you try one?
(What do you think’s gonna happen?)
I just haven’t seen anybody I thought should be cloned. Take one cell and grow a whole new body out of it. But I haven’t seen anybody that I thought we’d tolerate another one just like us, would you, Chris? Would you tolerate another Chris?
(No, no way.)
Would you tolerate another Ceci?
(Yeah. I think it would be fun.)
What would you do with her?
(Well, I could have a positive one and a negative one.)
They wouldn’t be the same then.
(That’s a good definition for the word retribution is to have one just like yourself.)
Isn’t that the truth – and you’d have to put up with it. I don’t think I’d want to have another one of me runnin’ around. Now, if you come up with a device, Chris, where I could be totally invisible and walk around, I’d like that. There’s a lot of places I’d like to go.
(Oh! That sounds nice.) (laughter) (I used to fantasize about that.)
That you was invisible and could just go all sorts of places? Push a little button on your arm and you’re “poof”…I think that’d be fun.
(Astral projection.)
No, not astral projection. Astrals don’t have no fun, they just get to go see things. I want to do things. Astral travel, that’s just seein’ it; you don’t really get to do anything. You can’t really land.
(How do you know?)
Oh, I’ve been through it.
(You’ve astrally projected?)
Oh sure. Travelled all over astrally.
(Hmm.)
In theory it’s even less fun than that. There’s another level called…
(Are you teasing me? Are you kidding me?)
Of course, I’m not kiddin’ you. Haven’t you?
(Not that I’m aware of.)
I’ll let you in on it someday.
(Okay, how about tomorrow? Can you tell me where you got the great Teachings, cause I –)
Well, I swear I didn’t “get” it. Well, we told ‘em over in the coffee shop where we got it. Do I have to go through it again?
(Uh-huh. You promised me Monday. You remember – if I was happy all week?)
I know. You’ve been doin’ pretty good so far. So I’ll let you up one day quick and then we can all quit one day early. Is that all right? We can go out, you know, and shoppin’ and cruisin’ around town or somethin’.
(Okay.)
As I told Gary many years ago – he asked me that question – Gary Demos asked me. So I told him that my teacher was a jackass. And he wanted to know how in the world that could happen. I said, “Well, I was sittin on a creek bank one day fishin’.” It was a hot July, August afternoon down in the hills of Kentucky. You better not record this. (laughter) So while I was sitting there, this jackass come down and he looked himself in this little glassy water where there wasn’t a breath of air movin’ and he saw all that ugly face and those big ears and he tore off runnin’ up the hill a-brayin’ and carryin’ on like a tiger was after him. So he stayed up there and run around for a while, but he was very, very thirsty. It was a very hot afternoon and it was getting’ hotter. So he came back and here he looked down there and he saw his shadow here and then he couldn’t stand it and he tore away and run off. But finally after a while, the thirst finally drove him to it. He come runnin’ down full tilt, jumped in the creek and that splattered all up and he couldn’t see himself and he enjoyed a drink and went on his way. So, can you see where it fits? That taught me everthin’ I needed to know. Just go hop in and don’t start lookin’ and wondering if it’s the right thing, or do you look right, or if you’re doin’ the thing, do you weigh the right amount today. Just hop in and go to work on it. Nothin’ to it.
(How’s that relate to where you got the Teachings?) (laughter)
Well, I just got through tellin’ you that my teacher was a jackass.
(That explains it.) (All right, good.) (But there was no person that you met in the course of your life or anything?)
Well, I’ll tell you another story, okay? And it’s almost as authentic. (lots of laughter) Many years ago, and it was many years ago now – some 45 years ago as best I can calculate – it was like in the early ‘30s so I don’t know what date. It might have been 34 or may have been 36. I don’t know, somewheres along about there. I was feelin’ very, you know, I’d been listenin’ to the demons tell me I was this and that and the other and I was… It always felt, as I was a kid growin’ up out in Appalachia in the mountains of Kentucky, that if I could just get so I could make a few thousand dollars a month… and those were days if you – none of you know about, but a dollar would buy a tremendous lot. In fact, the first brand new Chevrolet I was able to buy was 1934 and it was a beautiful thing – it would be like the Caprice is today – and it cost 700 bucks. It cost me $700 – $714 to be exact with the license plate on it. I remember that very well. And so I was making like 12 – 1500 dollars a month, which today would be about the rate of $15,000. ‘Cause a dollar then was easy to buy ten dollars what today would – what $10 would buy today. So I had gotten what I thought would make me feel wonderful – and I was a very inferior child and felt everybody looked down at me – and I had a little title; I could hang on “doctor,” you know, and all that BS. And that hadn’t helped a bit. I felt just as inferior and just as insecure as I did before and I was kind of cogitatin’. Now, here I got to hang me a degree on, and I been makin’ money like it was goin’ out of style. I could buy all the little things, the goodies, you know, that you want. And I was still just as miserable as I was when I was a little kid out in the hills of Appalachia with no money and everbody looked down on you, okay? Hadn’t change a thing to be called “doctor” and to have a bunch of money.
So I went in a coffee shop one afternoon and a gentleman sittin’ over the way said – [Makes a “click-click” beckoning sound]. And I didn’t know the gentlemen, but, you know, I figured he wanted to do somethin’, sell me something or somethin’ – so I went over and said, “Yep?” And he said, “Have a chair.” So I sit down and had coffee with him. He introduced himself by his first name and I introduced myself, first name. I don’t know his last name until this day even though I’ve seen him many, many, many, many, many times – we have never talked about last names. And I don’t know whether he knows my last name or not, okay? Now, I only know his first name. And so he talked at me for a little while, and it was pretty simple – but he let me see that – what the not-I’s were. Now, we didn’t use that particular terminology, but he did say that I had a purpose of living, which was impossible to fulfill, okay? And he did kind of point out what we are on this world – no pictures, no diagrams, no drawings, no nothin’. We just shot the breeze for a while. And it did get through to my head that I already had – without all this struggle – everything that a human could wish for. I’m a privileged, invited guest here at this beautiful estate. I have food, clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting people to be around, interesting things to do and I’ve had that since the day I arrived, okay? So it would then appear to me that my purpose in living suddenly got changed right there to simply being my way of saying “thank you” is to be a good guest. And I’ve been given a lot of material and all the material that you ever hear from me has been around a long, long time – I do alter the way it’s presented now and then. Neal took me to task for that last night that I used to use rather high-soundin’ words, a little esoteric lingo and that now I’m pretty earthy with it, okay?
(Mm-hmm.)
But that’s because I’m dealing with earthy people – I used to be dealing with esoteric people before, see? Besides that, I, of necessity, have less years ahead of me to continue to doin’ it than I did 10 years ago. I got 10 years less, okay? So I can’t fiddle around with the high-soundin’ language. I got to get it across where you can hear it – period, okay? And I think you’ve heard it this week, haven’t you? Hmm, you heard it?
(Yes.)
And if you don’t do it – that’s none of my concern, but you can’t say, “Well, I’ve never had the chance. ‘Cause I couldn’t see where it was.” You couldn’t even do that, could you, Cici? You know exactly what you can do about it. It’s like little Barbara said that yesterday she went out of here and spent a whole 13 seconds and she was top of the world. Is that right?
(Just about.)
And she was disappointed because it didn’t take a whole half an hour like I had said. Is that right, too?
(No, I was real pleased that it only took a few seconds.)
Or Jeanette here, you can feel pretty good, can’t you?
(Mm-hmm.)
Hmm? Don’t take hours or weeks or anything like that does. Nothin’ has to change. You just change how you look at things a few minutes, is that correct? Right? And you don’t have to let some stupid little old feelin’ off somewheres from little demon not-I put you in a bondage anywheres. (Someone sneezes three times) Once more, honey.
(That’s three.)
You should do one more – just to get it cleared out. (laughter)
(How ‘bout if I just blow my nose?)
You know, most everybody says, “Bless you” when somebody sneezes. You know why that is? Because the old idea was that when you sneezed, your soul left and everbody said, “Bless you,” and it’d run back and get in place, right quick. Did you know that?
(No.)
I got a box full of trivia.
(Bob, I heard it was that pneumonia used to be so prevalent that when people sneezed they could actually see the moisture in the air. And then the people normally died who did get it, so that was the basis of the –)
Yeah, “Bless you – you’ve had it.”
(You’re going out.)
Well, either way, you’re a lost soul. Okay, I don’t have any particular point to discuss because I’ve given you everthing that you could possibly use, is that right? Now, then, you fire away with questions and trivia and interesting things you want to talk about. In other words, you gotta supply the subject.
(I’d like to clarify one thing. Did the man in the coffee shop say that you had a purpose in living that was impossible to fulfill?)
Yeah, the Four Dual Basic Urges. He didn’t say it; he just pointed it out to me. It’s impossible to have the Four Dual Basic Urges as an ideal. We already have pleasure, comfort, attention, approval, and worthiness because we are the Awareness of X. But you see we also experience, ever’ now and then, a little sensation you don’t like, which is called “pain,” right? But if you couldn’t do those, you couldn’t feel those real nice pleasant feelings either, could you? You’d only be half capable of experiencing. So we get all upset because once in a while you experience a sensation you don’t like, or somebody failed to see you at the proper place, or they gave somebody else some attention when you wanted it, hmm? And everbody’s not gonna agree with you, so somebody was bound to disapprove of you – not disapprove of you, but they do tell you how they feel when you’re the subject of their conversation. And so we made a big issue of that. But don’t you have everthing you could really ask for? You have food, clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting people to be around, interesting things to do, right? And a certain amount of free choice to do whatever you want to be interested in and do – is that correct? And you can make some insignificant little contribution to life – not because you should or ought to or must but simply because you’d like to say, “Thank you,” huh? Now, contribution’s not trying to do the whole thing. It’s a pinch of salt in a loaf of bread mix. Okay? Next question? Russ?
(You know, Bob, when you carry on with your studies and so forth, which I understand that you still do to some extent –)
Oh yeah, I still do, right.
(– I would almost have to assume that it’s probably on a higher level than where we are because you wouldn’t be teaching us if you probably didn’t understand this fairly well.)
That seems to be about right. Probably ‘bout right.
(So, all right, now you are on the higher levels –)
Well, whatever that means.
(It could mean anything. Are these tools as evident to you when you reach that point as some of them are that you’re giving to us, or is it a case that –)
Oh, we have to look at…
(Does it have to be more forceful?)
No, it has to be used. Now, you can give me the finest tool kit in the world or set me up in a beautiful machine shop, we’ll say. And unless I go in there and use ‘em – if I just look at them and polish ‘em every day or two, and put a little WD-40 on ‘em and kick the dust off of ‘em, and so forth – they’re worthless to me. I still don’t know how to use ‘em. So when you have a tool of some sort or other, then the use for it is to use it a little bit. If you use it, then it’s part of you. It becomes an extension of you, okay – an extension. But if I never do use the tool, it’s just somethin’ I know about and keep polished up. But it’s really a bother to have it around ‘cause I have to buy quite a bit of WD-40 and chamois skins to wrap ‘em up in and so forth to keep it away. There is a story about a woman who had a gold piece and she went and hid it away. Wasn’t it? And it rusted or somethin’ like that? But you always use them, see?
(You use these tools – I’m aware of certain experiments and things that you point out to us. Are you continually looking for new experiments yourself, or are these –)
Oh yeah, I’m lookin’ for new ways to use those tools, yeah. And I find new ways of expressing them. And I find every person I work with on an individual basis is always brand new – I find somethin’ – a new way to use the tools there ever’ time.
(Is it a case of listening?)
On both ends of the conversation.
(That’s what I mean.)
Yeah.
(It’s one of the prime tools.)
That’s a prime tool – listen on both ends – and then you can see how to use any kind of a tool that may be laid out. So, basically, all the tools do the same thing except they fit different people.
(So that’s –)
Like all box-end wrenches take nuts off, but you have to use different sizes for different size nuts. (laughter)
(Would you say that that was one of the basic steps for progress?)
I would say that it is the ultimate basic step for progress – it’s to use it, okay? Not only for me, but for anybody I run into. And I don’t have to try to convert anybody. What was it Barbara said? She seen somebody say that they sat in a draft and got a cold; she has to straighten ‘em out that drafts don’t cause colds. Drips cause colds. (laughter) Drips cause colds. Be around one a little while and see how quickly you get a cold. Did you ever have somebody come and call you to account for all the “ears” of livin’ you’re makin’ and need to be straightened up? Huh? How’d you feel about it?
(Not too good.)
Not too good. I think it’s fun. I enjoy the jokes immensely. Okay? Next question, comment. Yes, sir?
(What you were sayin’ to Russ there – using the tool. You said the other night that to use something would be to destroy it.)
Now, that wasn’t what I said. I said all these things that people accuse of being causes of their illness – like say cigarettes, cups of coffee, etcetera – are all destroyed in their use. Didn’t I say that? I was just readin’ it out of a book – anything. Why do you make an idol out of something that’s destroyed in its use? Now, if I use a box-end wrench long enough and on a heavy enough duty, it will finally wear out; but that was its only purpose, wasn’t it? And I can sure go get me another one. Right? So tools eventually wear out, but you learn how to use ‘em and you buy better ones the next time. Do you see that?
(Yeah.)
In other words, the first time I bought a set of socket wrenches I got ‘em at Sears Roebuck – they’re long gone. The last ones I got, I got from Sperry, and my great grandchildren, which I don’t have, will probably be able to use ‘em ‘cause they will still be around, okay? They cost about eight times as much but they’re a joy to use. But they’re still what? Socket wrenches – same stuff, looks like. [He turns to one of the participants:] Hello.
(Hello!)
Comment, questions? Somethin’ you want to talk about? Come on, Arlene? You?
(You’ve covered everything. I understood all that –)
I know that.
(– three days ago.)
I covered it all and re-covered it, didn’t I? Wrapped it up, tied a little cellophane ribbon around it…everything. Yes, dear?
(You talk a lot and I understand it, but if you could say something else about X, if you could.)
Okay, I will gladly talk about X because I don’t know anything about it and that’s what always puts me in a home, okay? So people come and say, “What is X?” and expectin’ me to answer it or you to answer it or somebody else, okay? So I will ask you some more. [Writing his questions on the board.] Now, when you answer these, I will go back more on that. That’s a pretty good one, isn’t it?
(What is life?)
[Writes that question and then indicates all of the questions he’s written on the board:] Now, could you answer any of those? [End of CD 21]
Santa Ana School – CD 22
Is there any electricity in there? I did find out what X-rays were, but I never did find out what electricity was. An x-ray is when an irresistible force strikes an immovable object; it produces x-rays.
(How do you get the two together?)
In a cathode ray tube. That's right. Gary, wouldn't that be somewheres close to correct?
(Right. Exactly right.)
That's exactly what happens. You put an irresistible stream of electrodes going through a vacuum tube and it strikes an immovable object of a tungsten point and it produces x-rays. And they're very dangerous little rays. So we don't know this, little one, but you might could say “power.” You could also say “intelligence.” You could say a whole bunch of other things.
Now, there is signs of life (and I could rattle off about nine of 'em) and signs that X is there. But you can only see its work; you cannot see it. And you cannot describe it, but you can tell where it is present. There is books that has signs of life in it which says X is present. For one, you have it [1] possible to irritate you. I can burn you or put some pain and you would resist. Now if the body was dead I could stick pins, knives, hot pokers, anything in there and there's nothin’ happens. Also it [2] adapts to changes in temperature, etc. Your internal body temperature remains somewheres close to the same even though the outside temperature goes down or goes up – whatever, huh? It also can [3] assimilate food or energy to be used and [4] it can convert it. And it also [5] eliminates waste products selectively, hmm? It can [6] reproduce its kind (or at least have a half interest in it.) It's like I told folks that I understand women because I'm a half-breed – my mother was a woman. So I understand how you think, Barbara, see? Did you know that?
(Yep.)
I'm a half-breed, so I can understand how you work. So it has all these signs of life. And by observing it, it always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives. The information it receives is your feeling sensation, not the emotions set off by “A” and “B”. However, it takes those as being true, if you identify with 'em, and acts upon those as being true. But if you treat ‘em as traffic on the street, why it doesn't do anything about those foreigners. In other words, I can go up and say, “You're hungry, you're hungry, you're hungry,” and that don't do any good; but if X tells you you're hungry, you have a gnawing sensation down here and you begin to look for somethin’ to eat, is that right?
(What did you say happens when you observe it?)
I can see that everything that X does is the appropriate thing for the information it receives. Now you can do all kinds of drastic things and give information directly to X and it will carry it out. Now if we hypnotize you, which is to put everything to sleep, your Awareness is gone. And then I could say that you are now, uh, have… “That pen in your hand is icy cold,” and your fingers would get very, very cold. I could say it was red hot and make a blister on your hand because it is receiving the information – you are feeling that what I am saying is absolutely correct and that's what goes to X and X would act upon it. It don't make sense, but it will. And so the way we choose to see things is the truth that X operates upon. Now, there's none of us can say that something is ultimately true; but whatever I make true and feel is true to me, is what X operates upon. If I feel it's true that you are very threatening to me, I would get “quiveries” all over going near you or even seeing you, right? But if I think of you as a friend and totally without any harm to me, why I could just get asclose as I can be to you and it just feels all right, huh?
(Uh-huh.)
[someone starts to get him a chair] You want to bring that chair up here for me?
(Yep.)
I'll bring it up. It's a bar stool and you're supposed to bring the bar with it, see? [someone offers him a Coke] I don’t want a Coke. I don't drink carbonated water – it’s not good for your health.
So we can see that much about X, honey. And if without what we refer to as X – that something – there would be no life on this earth.
(What’s comfortable for me is X; what is not comfortable for me is the not-I.)
Well, that's not quite right, but close enough – that you can determine what is true to you and you don't have to listen to all those not-I's aggravate you. The only thing that ever comes along in this world to aggravate you and make you feel tense in any way and upset is a not-I, okay? And it’s the only thing gets you upset. Now you may be startled by an actual emergency somewheres – you know, a tiger may run out from under the front steps when you go home this afternoon and that would be a little startlin’ wouldn't it? But you would do something about that immediately.
(I don’t know what I could do.)
Well, I don't know. I may grab him by the tail. But whatever it is, you'll do something that seems to be the appropriate thing because there's a tiger. Now you won't feel real nice at that, honey. But neither will you be in a turmoil like you are when the not-I’s is telling you all the horrible things that's goin' on…and you're sittin' here in the chair nice and comfortable and lookin' pretty as a new picture, right? Now, you can sit right there like you were yesterday just as nice and the not-I's was havin' a ball pickin' on you and you felt miserable, is that right?
(Right.)
And there wasn't a thing threatening you anywheres except these little not-I demons inside sayin’, “Yak, yak, yak, yak. “He’s gonna be mad at you when you get home. You know, why did I have to be treated like that!” And then they say, "You haven't learned a thing – look at you today!" Ever’ once in a while somebody calls me up and says, "I've become stagnant in the Teaching – I can't get any more." I said, "That's s damn not-I, I don't want to talk to you! What are you calling me up, “B”? I don't want to hear you! Go away! Let me talk to the lady a minute." And sometimes you can hear the person and they get on the phone and that's pretty nice. I don't want to talk to you not-I's that run around, those termites that live in you. You know that? I love to talk to you, but I don't want to talk to “A” and “B”. Those, all I gotta do is go down in the basement right here. I can find me one… I know everything they say. You know? (laughter)
(You say when you report to X that X does the appropriate thing.)
By the feeling you report to X, okay?
(I've noticed that sometimes things happen outside in the world like if you report to X that you have all the love that you need, then it'll be there. If you report to X, “I don't have love in my life and nobody will ever love me,” then nobody will ever love me.)
Well, isn't that the appropriate thing?
(But that's not me doing it – that's something....)
That's the not-I doin’ the reporting that you feel nobody will care [the rest he says in a very pathetic tone of voice] anything about poor little old me and everybody else has got homes and happiness and love… and all I got is to sit here and work away and live in this little apartment… all by myself.
(So there is love out there; the love is turned off by that.)
There ain't no love out there. Love's in you.
(That's right.)
You see, you would never know – no matter how many sweet nothings I've told you and how much I bring you and lay gifties at your feet and how much I cuddle you, you will never know whether I give a damn about you or whether I'm just schmoozin' you.
(I thought I knew!)
You’re just kiddin' yourself. You see, there's a lot of people wonder, "Does he love me or does she love me?" You'll never be able to get an answer to that question. Now you know how you're treated, don't you?
(If I feel loved.)
Oh, well that's just you. You can't get nothin' out of my feelin’s, honey. I could have a terrible pain in this finger. Can you feel it? No… no way, honey. And I could have a real gooey soft feelin’ about you and you don't know nothin' about it. You only know how I treat you, is that right? That correct now?
(Yeah.)
If I treat you kindly and considerately and I think about you and call you up ever’ day or two and I send you pretty little nothins and come in and tell you how wonderful you are and all that, all you know is how I'm treatin’ you, is that right? Isn't that good enough? “Say, he treats me awful nice,” wouldn't that be enough? You'll never know whether anybody loves you or not. That's for the birds; no WAY you'll know that! You can maybe find out whether you love anything or not, okay? But you'll never know when anybody loves you, dear one. I can tell you 20 times a day, "I love you (therefore you're obligated to me (laughter) and must do exactly as I want you to whenever I want you to, and…)" and all that good stuff and you wouldn't know whether it's true or not. I may be one of the more accomplished liars in the world. And if it did, you don't know what I mean by it. Yeah?
(I sort of had a chicken and egg proposition.)
Good, which came first?
(Umm, our destiny is sort of planned for us. Is that correct?)
To some little degree; the direction of it, not how it's gonna work out, but the direction seemingly is somewhat laid out.
(All right, now if the direction is laid out, then we are reporting to X the situations and the appropriate decisions are being made...)
Actions are being taken.
(…or actions are being taken. All right, so I assume that that is the action or direction that we are headed in reporting to X. Now what happens if the egg-chicken thing starts coming in… I can't really get this...)
That's all right, go ahead.
(What happens if the Awareness… in other words, if Awareness is gonna come, it's gonna come. If it isn't, it isn't.)
Well, not quite that way.
(I don't really understand the ...)
Awareness is there, but it gets overcome, Russ, would be the way. The Awareness is always there – that's the Awareness Function of X. But being, having a tremendous ability it has, it also has the ability to be hypnotized by not-I’s, or “conditioned” as we sometimes say. You see in order to have a certain attribute, I also have to have certain weaknesses. In order to have these little hands that all have this thing instead of a paw like a dog does, you see, you also have to take certain things that goes with it – a weakness on the other part. I can't run near as fast as a dog on these paws. It'd hurt.
(How much control does the thing called Russell have on what's going on?)
He has pretty close to 100% within a certain framework, okay? You can do anything that Russ wants to do in the framework. But we have certain limits. In other words, you can have… you have a limit that you can't very well jump off the top floor of this building –
(I understand that.)
– without your parachute and expect to land all in one piece. You'd smatter all over the street.
(If it is within the limit then, how does that play in with the direction?)
Well, the direction is somewhat in the limit; but you somewhat have certain attributes and abilities we're born with. I don't know where they come from – genes, chromosomes, gifties… who knows? It can be explained many ways, but you have certain attributes. One person will be a musician. This morning Miss Vi was tellin' us about her grandson who is a very small child but when he was… how old was he when he started demonstrating these fantastic accomplishments? Six months, four months?
(Well, he started talking at 6 months. He did algebra at 2 years and he sang on perfect key at 3 years.)
Okay, so now he, obviously, has a little framework there. Now he could fluff all of that off if he wanted to, okay? But he had a certain talents or abilities in that direction.
(He can change the direction.)
No, he could just neglect it.
(Well, that's what I mean. So that’s the ...)
I would say he's gonna have this ability all of his life, but let's say he can neglect it for the next 45 years (or forever) but it would be there. I know several fantastic musicians that won't play an instrument anymore because they got ticked off at their mother or somethin' else – “I’ll show her!” you know. So he still has all the attributes, but he does not have to use it. There’s no control over him, but you're given certain abilities and attributes when you was born. Some people you know has got beauty and some of the rest of us is standin' behind the door when they passed that out; and some have great mechanical ability and others can't get a screwdriver in a slot; and there's others that has great musical ability and some of us couldn't carry a tune in a bucket of water and so on down the line, okay?
(So that is allowed to the person...)
Whether he uses it or not, but he's given the gift. Now, it's up to him whether he uses it or not. So I would say that the direction is his abilities, but it's entirely up to Russell as to whether he uses 'em or not.
(But that has nothing to do whether it's inevitable.)
Well, I doubt if it's inevitable anytime. I think you always have some choice that you won't do it, but you could not help havin’ the attribute – certain attributes. In other words, like this little child – he couldn't undo the ability to do the music and the mathematics (which Gary tells me is the same subject.) That right, Gary?
(Yup.)
Music and mathematics is the same subject. So this kid is a genius in that department – he was born with these abilities but he does not have to use 'em. Course knowing his folks, I'm sure he'll get to use 'em. Grandpa will be beatin' that piano long as grandpa had a finger, right? But that's what we mean by direction – you're given certain talents and abilities. Now I've known people who didn't discover that they had a tremendous talent or ability for many, many years. What's your best talent, ability, Neal?
(There isn’t.)
Oh yes it is. You have some tremendous talent. Yes?
(I'd like to ask you a question, tell you about something and get your opinion on it.)
Good, let's hear it. I have no opinion about it because I haven't even heard it yet.
(Okay. Two weeks ago I was with some friends. We were doing what you would call handling not-I's in a way that I think was effective. It was effective for me. Some of the women chose whatever it was that was bothering them. I wanted to deal with fear – just generalized fear; some of them chose anger. And this woman that was doing the experiment said to fantasize an animal. We were lying down with our eyes closed fantasying an animal that would symbolize this fear; and when she said that, I saw a huge wolf clawing and making snarling, and making all sorts of horrible faces. And then she said to stand up with our eyes closed still. I stood up and it was this tremendous animal as big as the whole… high as the ceiling that was facing me and growling and making horrible noises. And then she said step into the animal – toward it. I was very frightened, but I did it anyhow.)
That's like my donkey story I just told you a while ago.
(And then I did. And I stepped into the animal and started to stroke him, at her suggestion, and it became smaller and smaller and smaller – the animal – until he finally disappeared and there was nothing. And my feeling, instead of fear, became one of love. I felt that way.)
Mm-hmm. Especially after he disappeared. (laughter)
(Yeah, that's right. And I haven't been………)
Go ahead.
(I haven't had any of that other feeling…)
Fear. Well, you just run and jumped in the water – no matter how bad you looked, you just run, jumped in the water.
(What do you think of that?)
What do you mean what do I think of that?
(That type of experiment.)
Well, it’s a nice experiment. Do you like it?
(Yes, I enjoyed it.)
A man was telling me that one day he was sittin', practicin' these kinds of experiments and so they kept on goin' and goin' and one guy said to the other one, "Make two wild bulls charge you." So he made 'em, but he coudn't stop 'em – he got trampled to death. (laughter)
(It’s a pity I didn't have it on the tape. I'd like her to hear that.)
So the next time you make a wolf, what if you can't unmake him?
(Yeah, that would be terrible.)
And you walk up in his mouth and he goes [pantomimes taking a big bite]. (laughter) Goodbye, Cici!
(Do you think that there is any harm in that type of thing?) (Sure!) (laughter)
As long as you can knock the little elephant down or whatever it is. If you get those two wild bull elephants charging you and you can't turn 'em off, I said they'll smash you up. If you get that tiger, or that big old wolf up there and you walk right up in his mouth and he chomps down on you and you can't unmake him, goodbye, Cici.
(But I was there and what I did learn from that is that I make the wolf.) (I made a bear.) (And I made him and unmade him.)
Well, sure, but what if you forget to unmake him?
(How could you forget if you know that you make him?)
Well, now we've all made these decisions like “I got to complain, stick up for my rights and blame,” and we forget to unmake those, don’t we?
(So we didn't make them consciously.)
Oh, you didn't.
(I don't think I did, did I?)
You make 'em over ever morning when you get up. So let's make 'em conscious right now. Your whole purpose of livin’ is to be non-disturbed; make it right now – the whole deal, okay? Now unmake it.
(I can't.)
If you made it once, you can unmake it. Now how about complaining? You made up your mind that the way to be non-disturbed and get your way is to complain.
(Right.)
Okay? Now can you unmake any complaining? Don't work for you, does it? So make 'em conscious and then make 'em unconscious, okay? That's why we say you have to look at 'em. I thought that was makin' 'em conscious when I recognized they were there. Can't you unmake it? You can walk out of the cellar, can't you? So your bear was just a nice little old teddy bear when you unmade him, wasn't he?
(Mm-hmm.)
You knew about the guy, Cici, that when comin' up to somebody's house up here in LA one day and he went out when he come to the house and they come out and invite him in and he was droppin' breadcrumbs all the way around the house. And they said, "What in the hell are you doin'?” He said, "Well, you put these bread crumbs all the way around the house and it keeps tigers away." They said, "There's no tigers here!" And he said, "See, it works!" (laughter) Okay? Same difference, isn't it? So everywheres you go, take some breadcrumbs and put ‘em all the way around the house and those people won't have any tigers; and obviously the breadcrumbs must have prevented it.
(I'll bet.)
Right. Cause otherwise there might have been tigers. If there's no tigers there, it’s workin' for you. So I have no conception about any technique whatsoever that anybody uses or don't use. I've seen everything work in my life; and I've seen everything fizzle. You see, I was in the healing art branches for many years and I was quite prone to investigate all the off-beat stuff. Because the “on-beat” stuff didn't work I was lookin’ at the off-beat stuff, okay? And I have seen ever’ conceivable method of treatment of human beings work to produce a miraculous cure; and I've seen ‘em all fizzle. So I have no opinions whatsoever except if it's fun, do it, okay? And it may work for you and it may not for somebody else. It may be the most fantastic thing you ever came across and it may not do a durn thing for 15 of your friends. And they may tell you that it is worse than worthless; and it may be the only thing, the way that you can get out of here [unclear] , okay? So I don't know, I couldn't tell you. I said anything will work for somebody. So they're all useful – if we could just match up the treatment with the right person, they'd all work.
(With this kind of awareness I think… with this knowledge and the use of it – not just knowing it, but using it –)
Oh yeah, if you really use it.
(If nothing else, it seems to be unnecessary.)
Well, that's the way it looks to me if you just put it to work; and then, of course, you can join in any parlor games that comes along that looks like… I like all parlor games. Yes, Russell, I'll be there in a minute.
(The “power base” from which a person works – we'll use that...)
That's a good word. I like that.
(Is that inherited or is that what we develop or is it a combination of both?)
I think it's a combination of the two. One, you couldn't build a power base on something if you didn't have the ability or the talent to. And if you had the ability and talent and didn't build on it, you wouldn't have the power base. So it's a combination of ability and actualizing it a little bit at a time. I think there's one man who writes books on actualizing your potential or somethin' like that.
(Self-actualization.)
Self-actualization Therapy.
(Maslow.)
By Maslow. And that's a [tongue-in-cheek] marvel, you know. So, yes, its good stuff, okay? Works wonders for some people. And it fizzles like everything else. Yes?
(Well, would you say that Hitler was a man who was born with this…)
Oh, yeah and then he lead it off down to brass tacks. If he had a little more comprehension, he would have probably been one of the blessings of mankind. He had tremendous charisma, power. But he used it for another purpose that could have been used in another way. If he had used it another way, he'd probably went down in history as one of the greatest benefactors of mankind. And without the ability he couldn't have done either one. But he actualized it down one road of pursuin’ magical formula rather than horse sense and common sense. Miss Vi?
(Well, I just wanted to say that the other day I was in yoga class and the teacher was laying this on us 'cause she had us down and she was....)
“I'm gonna keep you down…”
(We were relaxing and she was reading us these nice little goodies. Pretty soon she says, "Now then, your feet are in warm water and just feel that warm water." So my feet just got real wet and real warm and she says, "All right now get up", and I couldn't get (she starts laughing) my feet out of the water!)
You got hung in there, huh?
(I didn’t like that too well!)
Maybe you had so much mud in there. But you see now this is what we would call hypnosis – when you tell somebody that so-and-so, “You are now in hot water.” (laughter) Like the young bride, you know. You heard about her, didn't you? The young bride? Somebody asked her she was doin'. She said, "Well between the three d's I'm pretty busy.”
(Three d's?)
So – I'll write it for you.
(Write?)
On the blackboard. [he writes it]
(Who’s gonna read ‘em out loud?) (Oh, yeah!)
No, no!
(Dishes, douches and diapers.) (laughter) (With dishes, diapers and douches my hands are always in hot water.) (more laughter)
So when you hypnotize or you give a suggestion that somebody has their feet in hot water and they experience it, they are in the first stage of hypnosis and then you can go on from there and from there; and you can leave 'em there. And then sometimes, you know, a person who is easy to get in, is hard to get out, Vi. (laughter)
(I thought it was interesting because it reminded me a lot what they were saying about the bear and all that. Maybe they could come out of that and maybe they couldn't.)
Yeah, they might get in there and get those two wild elephants comin’ charging you right now through the middle of the stream and you can't get up. What if you couldn't stop 'em? You might forget you how you ordered ‘em.
(It just occurred to me now as you're talking that sometimes telling a person what they are or what they should do, you know, in that complaining kind of way, “Oh you're no good, you'll never make it,” is almost a suggestion to be that way.)
It is and you hypnotize 'em right into it.
(Yeah.)
And the not-I's pick it up and keep it goin’ forever. It says, "Well, look, you're just a girl – you'll never amount to anything."
(Oh, my father's words!) (laughter)
I heard it coming from somewheres around here. Was that you?
(Yes, my father. That was amazing!)
That was a not-I. Do you buy it?
(Not now.)
You amount to a whole lot, don't you?
(I certainly do.)
You're a beautiful creature, huh?
(Yes.)
Good. You improve the scenery all the time.
(Why did I buy it all those years?)
Well, one believes their father says, "Believe and do as you were told by your authority". You were taught to honor thy father and thy mother and whatever they had said was right, wasn't it?
(Mm-hmm.)
Still been livin’ by it – you were just a “little ‘ole girl – you’d never amount to nothin'.” All right?
(Is the only thing she could do in that case is to ignore the not-I?)
Oh, you can't make the thing go away. And it's no use laying down on the floor and puttin' your feet in the hot water or makin’ a tiger or anything else – you just let that one go down the street. That's just a little yellow pickup going down the street, isn't it? Just a little ole’ yellow pickup. So why don't you put you a… You know, I'll give you one of these tricks now, okay? So you make you a little yellow pickup and just write on the door, "You're just a girl and you'll never amount to anything.” It doesn't matter whether that pickup runs up and down the street or not, does it?
(Doesn't matter a bit.) (What'd you say?) (laughter)
I forgot. (laughter)
(Many great artists have been very tormented people.)
Yeah.
(And yet they produce great works of art.)
Mm-hmm.
(Did they produce that in spite of the not-I's or do not-I's have...)
In spite of it. Never did a not-I help you do anything (laughter) except make you miserable, woe-be-gone and get ready for the grave. No, in spite of; but most of 'em are… a little not-I found a place if you're the artist. I will tell you how the little not-I makes 'em miserable. You wanna hear?
(Mm-hmm.)
They said, "It should be better than that. You got to do it right.” And so the poor guy will work and work and work and he can't get it goin’, okay? And always, no matter how beautiful it is, he finds a little flaw in it, huh? So the not-I's torment him that, “It's not quite as good as you could do – it could have been better!” and so on down the line. I know people been workin’… I know one guy who is a fantastic artist. He can probably paint a picture in two days that would be very famous, sellable and worthwhile. But he can't stop then – he has to work on it another couple years; and then by that time, he's got so much in it he won't sell it. And he really hasn't done anything to it in that length of time 'cause he'll put a little dab on it and then he paints it over and then a little dab and he paints that over ‘til it's back like it was before. The picture's fine when he gets done. So most of 'em are tormented because the ideal is there and they've never seen the joke in it and sayin', “This is pretty wonderful and sure there is the ideal that just doesn't exist,” you see. I put a sign up in our shop that says that most things have a little flaw in ‘em and if you work on it hard enough to get the flaw out, you’ll break it.
(That's neat.)
To get all the flaws out, you break it. That includes us. Huh? That includes us.
(In some Oriental countries that they're making something, they always put a flaw in it.)
Right, including all our Navaho friends out in New Mexico and Arizona.
(Yeah.)
They make the most beautiful rugs or a piece of jewelry or anything else, they make a flaw in it.
(Is it almost like a… in case there were no flaw, it wouldn't be good?)
Right. It would not be worthwhile; it would be....
(It would also be arrogant...to think –)
Arrogant, smarty-pants, so forth. Besides that, it makes it for real.
(Maybe they do it to forestall the witches, too.)
No, no, they don't believe in witches. They are the witches and they know it.
(Or the evil eye.)
That belongs to a different bunch of people – evil eye. You're acquainted with that.
(Yeah.)
You get the evil eye from the evil one; cost you bad luck for seven years and two days. (laughter) Yes, Judy?
(Would you go back to Arlene's question about love? I got a little confused. She was saying that if somebody wants love and they attract it or if you feel like you don't really –)
Will you ask Arlene what she said?
(What did you say?)
(If you think you'll never have love, then you never have it. That feeling of not having love creates –)
You wouldn't recognize it if it come along and laid in your lap, would you? If you said, “Nobody's ever gonna treat me nice,” if somebody come along and treated you real nice, you'd say, "They're just feelin’ sorry for me." Wouldn't you? Somebody’s real nice, you’d say, “They didn’t really mean it – they was just bein’ sorry for me.” But I said that you would never know whether anybody loves you or not, Judy. I said you'd only know how they treated you. And if they treat me nice, that's good enough for me. I don't have to worry about whether it’s love or because they like what I do or because I'm the only convenient thing around or that they think maybe I'll make enough money to buy 'em a new suit for Christmas or whatever. They treat me nice honey, that's good enough, okay? I'm not gonna worry about whether you love me or not. Cause I'll never know anyway – that's one of those goose in the bottles to put away. Huh?
(So what you're saying is the same old thing that if whatever you believe will be actualized for you?)
Well not quite like that; but if you… as you make true to you is the way you experience. Now that doesn't mean that's the way it will be, but that's the way you experience it. So if you experience that nobody cares anything about you, Judy, what do you experience? If you have as an honest, solid belief that nobody cares anything about little ole' Judy, and if somebody's real nice to you, you're still experiencing that nobody likes you, is that right? Nobody cares anything about you.
(I'm not worried about everybody. I want one guy.)
Well, haven't you got him?
(No.)
Well. There was a little girl over in Arizona… I don't think anybody here knows her unless it's Vi. Did you know little Jeannie Bearclaw?
(Yes, Mm-hmm.)
Wilson.
(Yeah.)
Well, little Jeannie said there was just one thing she wanted was to get married to one big guy that was around there, huh? So Jeannie was slightly handicapped – she kind of limps just a little bit from a very severe accident when she was a tiny little girl and everything; so I figured out I would just do a little bit for Jeannie. So I said, "Fine, you can have him." He's kind of a bum anyway – didn't matter who he was with or where. So I said, "Fine, you got him. You asked for it, you got it." So he heard about it and he come and said, "Why you crazy so and so, I wouldn't wanna..." [Bob makes a grumbling sound] I said I bet you $50 bucks you're married to her before the end of the week. And he put up a $50 to bet against me and I won the $50 bucks because he was married to her before the end of the week, okay?
(Before the end of the week?)
Before the end of the week.
(How'd you arrange that?)
I just went on about my business. (everybody laughs, talks) So they got married and now she's called me ever’ conceivable name under the sun 'cause I got her what she wished for. “But you KNOW he would do me that way!” I said, "You didn't say that. You just said that's what you wanted!” So now you really want this guy?
(Give me a good one.) (great laughter) (Who is it?) (No! I don’t know who it is!”)
Oh, I thought you said just one you knew in particular – I'll get him for you!
(No, a good one – a real good one.)
I don't know about those good ones.
(While you're doing that, pick me one too.) (more laughter)
Well, you have to pick him; I'll just furnish, okay?
(Tell us the method that you furnish 'em so that when we find the right one....)
(So we can do it Bob. We want to know how to do it.)
No, I'm mean. I thought everybody knew those.
(No.)
You don’t?
(No.)
Come around, I'll give you a lesson some time.
(Well, how about now?)
Not here before God and everybody, honey!
(Oh.) (We'll tell God to leave.) (laughter)
Well, then everybody’d be gone. Okay. Questions, comments? What ‘cha want to talk about?
(Same thing.) (more laughter)
Good lookin' men, huh?
(Pickin’ a good one.)
The Four Dual Basic Urges and you'll be all right won't you, Judy? If I get you the Four Dual Basic Urges all in one piece, you'll be all right, won't you, honey?
(Yeah, well let's just leave it longer than that!)
Okay…[chuckles] I don't tell her everything that had that.
(I found that I was discussing Vi's transformation with her during lunch and I think if Vi would be willing to discuss this with everyone, I think it might be interesting.)
VI: (Oh! Did you? I don’t know what… you're using such big words, I –)
Yeah, those are highfalutin words. We don't go for all those things.
(Okay. All right.)
I'll make it very simple and plain, okay? One day Miss Vi and I sit down to talk out of Malibu in a big bedroom. And Vi said, "What kind of role do you think would be good for me?" I was talkin’ about you can play any role you want to be and you will always be as the role you're acting out, okay? So if you act out the role of a poor little match girl, why the poor little match girl is what you'll experience. (You read the story of the poor little match girl, didn't you? Starved on the streets, starved to death – froze to death on the streets of Bagdad one night?)
(laughter) (Love it!)
And so on… you heard all these and somebody used another little thing, and another one was they was gonna play Cinderella and she could play Cinderella in the kitchen or she could play Cinderella at the ball and be the princess. You can do whatever role you’re playin'. So Miss Vi said, what role should I play? I said "Why not a butterfly?" And she's been doin' that ever since.
(That's an over-simplification.)
It is not, is it Vi? Now we can doll it up...
(She's still.....)
But this is the way it really happened. (everybody talks)
Earthy honey, earthy – you kind of earthy in good looks. You don't need all those high soundin' philosophical terms thrown around here. Liable a bunch of people think we're a bunch of moonies or kooks. (laughter) I don't want to get caught up in that trash, okay? We're just earthy folks, farmers and stuff that chase bugs and what-have-you.
(Butterflies.)
Butterflies…yeah, just… ‘course I got read off by some of the hierarchy of the church that Vi USED to belong to. “Used to,” I said. They read me off. They said, “Yes she's a butterfly, hard to handle and God forbid!!” (laughter) I got read off about that pretty severely. I thought she made a beautiful butterfly. Still think she does.
(She's very beautiful.)
I think so, too. Little ole' grey lady come in to visit with you. You remember those two ladies you were with?
(Yes.)
Yeah. They both underwent a little difference too, didn't they?
(One of them did.)
Huh?
(One of them did.)
Which one did?
(Carolyn.)
Oh she went under quite a transformation.
(She sure did.)
So did the other one.
(Leah?)
Joy.
(Oh, Joy.)
Joy that was with. You was with Joy and Carolyn weren't you when you came in?
(I was with Leah and Carolyn.)
Well, Joy was there too.
(Oh yes. Well, Joy made it before the rest of us. She had a head start on us.)
Oh yeah, she got a good start. She's also undergone quite a big one in the last two months – fantastic. She looks wonderful.
(Say hi to her for me.)
I will. I always do.
(Thank you.)
A real credit, Miss Joy.
(What happens with this supposedly special transformation that she underwent, this friend of yours went, underwent these past two months. Something very different?)
Aw, she looks like a different person, yeah.
(Oh.)
I still know her, but uh, decidedly looks different, acts different, whole different outlook on life and everything. It only takes about that long when you change your purpose in livin’ from the Four Dual Basic Urges to anything else! (laughter) It doesn't matter what it is – just so you change it. (laughter)
(But I still want a Roles Royce. I'll let you drive it, Bob, if you get me one.)
I know where you can get one for free. All you gotta do is deposit a million dollars in the bank in South Bend, Indiana and they'll give you a new Roles Royce.
(For free!) (Also in Palm Springs.)
Where?
(Palm Springs.)
Palm Springs – just over the hill. So write a check out for a mil, go out and deposit it to your own account and they can't accuse you of forgery because you just wrote a check to yourself, on yourself, so you'd be the only one who could accuse you of anything fraudulent. Deposit it, take your Roles Royce and drive away. You don't have to care, that’s all. What?
(I learn such valuable things here…I could be writing a letter from jail.) (laughter) (He’ll bring you flowers!)
You can tell me all the latest. Yes, dear?
(The acting, the actualization or the acting “as though”, does that work with things, material things?)
Well, it's pretty hard to act as though you were driving a Roles Royce when you was goin' down the street on a putt-putt. (laughter)
(I did it with a Cadillac and I got it!)
Yep. You can get most things you want; but why not act like you're a very prosperous lady and you get everything that goes with it, honey?
(Right.)
What difference does it make what the brand name is? Right.
(Yes.)
A Lamborghini would be just as nice as a Roles Royce any day of the week.
(Be in the shop being tuned a lot.)
A Lamborghini is a cheap little old junk anyway – $79, $80,000.
(Are you planning to hold workshops tomorrow?)
Yep. I'm not plannin’, but I intend to.
(And Saturday?)
Yep.
(And Saturday morning also?)
Saturday morning if you can hang in there that long. If you don't give out, we'll do it Saturday morning, okay? Huh?
(That’s wonderful.)
But if you give out anytime, let me know; but you got to supply the comments, the things to talk about, dear, ‘cause I said, I've flat run out. I could probably talk the next 20 years; but I don't see any need for me to dream up a subject from now on. I've talked about what I know that you could use and do anything you want to. Now then, you tell me what you want to talk about the rest of the time. You can write 'em out, you can tell me anything you want to.
(Yesterday Judy asked you if you would talk about making up your mind; and I don't know whether you were...)
Yeah, I made up one. You make up your mind when you say, "I'm going to do something." You don't make it up when you say, "Well, I'm going to try."
(Okay.) (I am.)
So let's say this. You make up your mind to stand up right now and let's see what happens? You haven't made up your mind to stand up yet? Make it up to stand up. Come on. You can do that. Now you made up your mind to stand up. You quickly made it up to sit down again. What was you gonna ask?
(Okay, I know the answer, but I thought maybe you could somehow add...)
Embellish it, put a lace on it.
(This week when I've been trying to, you know, do all this, okay? and a lot of times it’s been very successful in like seconds, you know. or a little more, whatever. And then other times, I wasn't able to do it at all, okay?)
Cause you really didn't want to.
(Cause I really didn't want to.)
Right.
(Well, what can you do at those times?)
Well, do what you want to do. Why kid yourself? You see, you're saying, "Well I ought to want to do…” End of CD 22
Santa Ana School – CD 23
You always do what you want to, that you really want to, ok? Now if you make up your mind to do anything, it's on the way. Now you make up your mind to slap your book shut and throw it on the floor, ok?
(Mm-hmm.)
Good. [sound of book hitting the floor] Now there was no effort whatsoever once you make up your mind to do somthin’. Now if … now I want you to try to pick up the book. Nope, wait a minute. You made up your mind to do it. I want you to try to pick it up.
(To try to pick it up, I can't. (laughter) I’m trying!)
Yeah, that's right. (laughter) [teasing her and chuckling] You are. Very, I must say.
(You're saying you can either do it or you don't, so if those –)
That's pretty close to it, isn't it, dear one?
(Well, at those times when you're ok, like, part of you does want to feel good though, but –)
Yeah, one little speck off over in the corner: “B” says, “Well, you really should feel good!” and “A” says, "Yes, I will as soon as that so and so does what…” You set a condition. I believe we started with that early in the part of the week that conditioning means I have set up a condition that has to be met before I will enjoy being, ok? Yes, Joy?
(When those things occur, you might as well just look and say, "Well, I didn't like it, I guess I might as well stay here for a while.")
Well sure. I might as well be in the pit for a while. I'll stay down here with the black widow spiders and the not-I's runnin' around and these little crawly slithery things. Nobody says you should leave, dear. You see the not-I comes along and says, "Well, you should always get out." But there's another one says, "Well, I'm gonna stay down here." Now if you wanna stay there, that's all right.
(So by my being there and not getting out of it, that's the same as I really want to be there and I should probably –)
Well, obviously if you want to pick that, throw that book down, it's not gonna sit and stick to your knee, honey. (laughter) You got a little plastic box in your hand, right?
(Yes.)
Now obviously you want it in your hand or you would do what with it?)
(Have it on the floor.)
Or somewheres else not on you. Is that right?
(Right.)
Now when you see when somebody says, [in a pathetic voice] "Well, I can't help it." No matter what it is, they're lying – period, just flat lying.
(At the time you feel like you really can't help it, though – I mean, I've had those feelings. I can't speak for anybody else.)
Well it's simply that there's times you feel like you couldn't drop that little plastic box, is that right?
(Not really.)
Well, now if you were hypnotized and your … I told you your fingers were sticky and you could not turn loose of the box no matter how hard you tried, then you would feel that you couldn't turn it a'loose, ok?
(Mm-hmm.)
Now it's the same thing when you let a not-I hypnotize you and says "You can't get out of this, you can't get out of this." Being the ornery cuss I am I'd say, "I'll show ya!” Now anytime you want to do something, you can do it, but sometimes you find it difficult to want to do it. Is that what you said?
(Mm-hmm.)
It's like the alcoholic that said, he wanted to quit … he wanted to want to quit drinking. He said, I just don't want to, but I know I should want to. So what I really want is to have a valid want that I want to quit drinkin'. So I want to want. So you want to want to feel real nice or put forth the energy to stand up or sit down or what it is you wanna do, but you don't want to have to generate the want. Now do you like, enjoy a certain amount of self pity, love?
(While I’m doing something?)
It kind of gives you a nice warm feeling like you're loved and all that, you know.
(Dramatic, it’s very dramatic.)
Very dramatic and it produces some hormones within us called DOCA.
(DOCA?)
D-O-C-A, Four capital letters, D-O-C-A and a couple of other things. And it's very easily to get addicted to those hormone's uses and you want them in yourself just like it'd be easy to get addicted to alcohol or...
(Sugar.)
Sugar or morphine or any number of things. Huh?
(Does the ______ do that? Like opium?)
Self-pity does. That turns it on and you get you a good charge of DOCA and so if you get hooked on it, you get so you’re kind of like somebody that wakes up at 6:30 ever mornin’ to have a cigarette. You get up ever mornin' and turn on your little self-pity so you can get your shot of DOCA.
(What does DOCA stand for? I have a feeling it's something like –)
No, it's a hormone. It's a long set of things, it's really fantastic.
(What's it for?)
What does it do?
(Yeah, what does it do?)
Well, if you were to be catchin' an infection of some kind – like you had pneumonia?
(Mm-hmm.)Continued............
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