Workshop - Santa Ana, CA School – 1977 - Page 3 of 12

Note from proofreaders:  Marsha does the original transcribing from cassette tapes or CD’s and we do the final proofreading.  We strive to give as close a verbatim transcript as possible, so that this can be a companion to the audio files found in the “Links” section.  We work to retain Dr. Bob’s interesting vernacular.  If you knew the man, not correcting his grammar and laid back “Kentucky-ese” makes reading it sound like he’s actually talking.  He’d say “everone” for “everyone”; or “somewheres” instead of “somewhere”, and many more…all part of his dialect of which we’ve tried to remain true.  Notations have been added where there was audience (laughter), which was quite often.  He was a master at keeping the mood up! 
(Audience participation is contained in parenthesis. )
Any emphasized word is in italics.
[ Any clarifications for the reader in regards to Dr. Bob’s references, words, or actions have been italicized inside brackets. ]      

Continued from page 2:

(I suppose so.)

Well, you ever tried?  You can act any way.  You can act loving, or you can act shy; you know you can crawl off in a corner and get out’a the headlight or you can act all huggy and the whole bit, you know.  You can do it, huh? 

(Most of that.)

You can act any way you want.  And you can act any way you want, can't you, little one?  Mmm?  Now you could sit and act sad and beautiful here for a while, and how would you feel in a few minutes?

(Yuck.)

Yeah.  You look around and say, [he speaks slowly and in a very sad voice]  "Everbody's havin' more fun than I am," and everbody's this and I'm the last one, and I'm fat, and I’m heavy, and you know… and I've been unfortunate, I’ve had terrible experiences happen to me,” and all this good stuff and pretty soon you would be in the most miserable lookin' thing that ever trotted along, is that right?  And there is absolutely nothin’ that I can see of (except I don't want to do it) to act like I feel top of the world, huh?  Enthusiastic!  Which is top of the world, 'cause that's gettin' up with the edge of the gods.  That's the fire of the gods.  So there's nothin' in the world to keep me from acting that way.  I don't care what my mate did this mornin' or whether the coffee was good this mornin' or anything else.  There's nothing to keep me from acting any way I so choose, right?  Yes, sir?

(When you’re acting… sometimes when you feel, like, too phony to yourself when you're acting, then I can't act.)

Well, that's another one.  So I feel like a phony.  I'm not gonna let the feeling run my existence.  I'm gonna act.  You see, that's when the feeling says, "You’re a phoney."  I would rather be a phony and feel wonderful than to be a solid citizen and feel like blech.  (Laughter)  Right?  Now, so I'm phony.  I have no rules against being a phony, okay?  But I will tell you if the first 30 minutes that I acted enthusiastic when I got up with a hangover (which I don't, but I can conceive of that being very possible) I would be a phony for 30 minutes, but not any longer because in 30 minutes, I'm feelin’ like I'm acting, okay?  And so if a little not-I wants to want me to go ahead and be miserable so it can have a banquet today, that's his problem.  I'm goin' on and act like I want to feel.  For the first 30 minutes, I'm an actor.  The next 30 minutes, I'm actually feeling like I'm acting – from there on, the whole day, right on down the line.  Now that is kind of learnin’ a very simple little mechanics of using the greatest gift of all time – that we have a being.  And we were given these three things that we can do and if you want to rattle it down, you tell me somethin’ you can do that don't fit in amongst those three, will you please?  That's all you can really do.  You can think.  You can act.  You can feel.  And why let the feeling, which is the end result of how you use the other two, determine that you're gonna… you know, just happenstance… you wake up some mornin’ and “ugh”.   Or somebody come along and said, "Boo!" to you and you fell apart at the seams, mmm?  But if you act enthusiastic, you will feel it in a very short order; and so then you are acting and feeling is one.  Act, feel, and thinking all becomes one.  I am harmony.  It always is, but you can put it all together just like you want it. 

Now if you leave the feeling runnin' and you woke up feeling kinda grumpy one mornin' and you act like you feel, right?...you will be feeling and acting in accordance.  Everbody meets you says, "What's wrong today?"  And you tell them; and then you can think to explain why you’re in such a miserable mess.  You can find a thousand things to blame it on, mmm?  That right?  And so all you can do all day long is these three things.  Now you have three things that you can do.  And if you take charge, which means like be responsible, take charge.  Now what you take charge of first is thinking about what and how you would like to feel.  What do you wanna feel today?  Right now, okay?  Then you can take charge of the action.  Sure it's a little effort, Marvin.  It takes a little effort to act different than you're feeling, but only just a little bit.  Now we all got that much energy.  And I can begin to act like I want to feel and in a very few minutes I got thinking, acting, and feeling balanced in enthusiasm if that's where I want it.  Yes, Virginny.

(Um.  Sometimes I have deliberately chosen a role of being something else....)

Sad and beautiful or something like that.

(And I say hey I want to feel miserable or something and you consciously, and even though you choose that, then pretty soon....)

....you got it.

(You say, hey....)

That’s long enough with that stuff, yes.  I have a sweet little friend who yesterday wanted to play the role of bein’ miserable; and sometime in the day she decided to change it.  It was like watchin’ a transformation. She changed it. There's nothing to it.

(Yeah, but that way, then you could appreciate....)

....feeling wonderful…right…  But most people only appreciate feelin' miserable.  And very few people have to have somebody to practice on to feel miserable because we all sooner or later in life wake up with a feelin' some mornin' like we had had the Russian army march through our mouth or somethin' like that.  (laughter)  And then we can just go on from there.  I've known people that's been at it 45 years.  They say, “Well, I feel that way.”  And I used to make an excellent income off of it.  Now I just work at it.  Yes dear?

(Um, you know, if I'm, okay, if I’m feeling moderately or medium...)

Mediocore, yeah. 

(I mean medium blechy, I mean I'm not horrible horrible, but, not miserable.)

Poco, poco.  (laughter) 

(I've been able to use this method because I'm in Darlene's class and I've heard of this before and everything; but if I'm really, you know, down in the dumps and I try this and you know and I –)

See, I heard you.  You said, “I tried it.”  You didn't say you did it.

(I wasn't able to do it.  Is it just something I have to keep practicing?)

No, it's one that you do instead of trying; you see, you told me you tried.   Now you see, when we try something, “I give it a pretty go round and I think, didn't feel any better.”  You know, “That didn't help a bit.”  It's like the guy that saw the sign that says, “Keep Smiling.”  He said, “I went out in the front yard and I was just miserable, I was on the point of suicide, I was so depressed.  And I sat down in a lawn chair there and I said, ‘Oh Lord, give me a sign.’”  And he said, “There was a little old card blowed across in front of me.  And it said "Keep smilin'".   And he said, "I smiled and sure enough, it got a hell of a lot worse."  (laughter)   So he tried it – that's how long it lasts.  So you see, if you never did do it… now when you're feelin’ moderately, you can do it.  You don't try then, you do it, right?  But when you really enjoying a trip through the pit, (laughter) you don't do anything, only tried.  That's one second, and you say, “It didn't work.  I am ground and pushed down.”  So then we go ahead.  Now you could turn it at any time you want.  Now frequently people come to me that's in business of one kind or another and said, “Everything works out fine for you when you go in business.”  Yeah, it does.  And they say, “Tell me the secrets of success.”  And I just say, "Well, the reason is it’s just plain bold stuff, you go out there and you treat everbody like you’re glad they’re a guest or whatever the case may be.  In other words, you act like you're already successful and you will be.  You can't keep from it if that's what you want. 

But you know, they say, "Well, I can act successful, but if I were makin' money would be easy."  But it's just as easy anyway, you know.  The bill collectors won't bother me anymore if I act like I'm successful today than they will if I'm acting sad and beautiful, is that right?

(Right.)

Probably not as much, mmm?  So we can change anything we want – our whole circumstance and situation, if we will use our thinking and our acting to determine how we're feeling.  This is an end product and everbody would just have that changed; and as long as I lay that off on you, and I say you or circumstances or anything I want to put it on, want to blame it on, is makin’ me feel miserable, mmm?  When you're really down in the dumpies, did you do it or did your boyfriend or somebody else do it to you?

(They all did it to me.)

They did this to you.  Then obviously there is one solid bar against me ever using this method.  There's one total absolute block.  I can't use it as long as I'm blaming you for how I feel because you can't act for me and you can't feel for me, is that right?  And if I'm blamin’ you, I'm not going to do anything about it.  I gotta wait until you straighten up and fly right, you joker!  (laughter) You know… I'd be all right.  And obviously as long as I'm blamin’ you, circumstances, the economy.....]

(The full moon.  I always look for the full moon – that’s how I tell when a quarter....)

It doesn't matter what I blame it on, as long as I gotta blame, I won't do a damn thing about it, let's face it.  I won't do nothin' 'cause you're to blame.  I can't show you no use with me cryin’ or anything, 'cause they got to straighten up and fly right, haven't they?  Mmm?  And obviously you didn't do anything about it.

(Absolutely.)

You know that, don't you?

(Right.)

You just went through sayin' the words so you could say, “Oh I'm in such a miserable state that I've done everything,” and until that so and so over there straightens up, it's not gonna be right.  ‘Til circumstances change, til I have a million dollars, until I have a beautiful lady that cuddles me all the time, or I got a lovely man who pours affection upon me, or whatever it may be that one puts is to blame.  As long as you have a blaming, you won't act.  You won't think.  You're totally occupied in being caught up that you are a victim, mmm?  And a poor victim, there's only one thing a victim can do – you recognize that, don't you?  I told one on the phone that the other day and got the phone slammed in my face.  But you wanna hear it?  The only thing a victim can legitimately can do? 

(What?)

They can fall on the floor, roll up in a ball, stick their thumb in their mouth, and wet.  That is all there is left for you to do.  You know, you're a total victim.  (laughter)

(He hung up on you?)

Oh, yeah.  She got a little upset because she was really enjoying telling me what a victim she was.  And I said well, the only thing left to do is thus and so, you know. So that was the way it happened.  But you see, as long as you're blaming somebody else, there's nothing you can do to act, is there?  'Cause I gotta change.  If you're blamin’ me, what's got to happen before you agree to feel better?  We talked yesterday about havin’ set up a condition that has to be met before I will agree to enjoy being, is that right?  So you gotta change before I can enjoy being.  I've already made up my mind, am firmly convinced that you've gotta change, circumstances gotta change, I gotta lose 150 pounds and then I will enjoy being; but in the meantime ghrrrrr, mmm?  And I won’t do anything, I will sit and moan and create a great scene about being a horrible victim.  Now there isn't one thing in the world that would prevent anybody from doing this except blaming.  Now that is a bar against usin' it.  I'll guarantee you that.  Now don't tell me it's hard.  Don't tell me it's difficult 'cause I won't buy that.  It isn't hard, it isn't difficult but there's one absolute interference:  I can't do it as long as I'm blaming somethin’.  Can you?  Now those days you were really down in the pit, you were blamin’ somethin’, weren't you and you couldn't do a thing about it.  No you can't.  So the first thing we do is see that nothing nor nobody is to blame for anything in this world – that's the first thing that you really discover that you might call ‘fact’ is that nothing, nor nobody is to blame. 

(Including ourselves.)

Including yourself.  Right.  Nothing nor nobody's to blame.  Now then, I can go do somethin’.  If I've got to be different before I can do that, I'm blamin’ me and I won't be different 'cause I've checked up on me for years and I'm always what I am when I check up.  I'm no different.  (laughter)  Right?  I'm not any different, same cat, two heads, one arm, one leg and I get around with it, you know.  And that is the only thing that stands between us and ever one of us being a super person because a super person is enthusiastic.  That's the only reason you're super, you know.  You got a super salesman in your organization, you tell me about that person.  They're enthusiastic.  I had one friend who said that the reason he'd been so successful in sales was that he was so nervous that most people mistook it for enthusiasm.  (Laughter)  That work, Mike? 

(Pretty right.)

It works all right.  You can be so nervous they mistake it for enthusiasm.  But only enthusiastic people do things that everbody else wants to copy and wonder how they made it go and so forth, huh?  Some young guy comes in that's very enthusiastic, makes a movie and it goes binko all over the country, right dear?  And all these people who sat and figured out that the economy's wrong, that too many people are watchin’ television, too many this and too many that, they don't make movies – they go in desperation and how did theirs turn out?

(Not too well.)

So you see this is true in every aspect of life.  Now ever one of us here could be enthusiastic today and if you do, man, you can turn the mountains over.  You can move the most impossible lookin’ situations.  Everbody wants to do your bidding.  They will follow you.  They will want you to do things for them etc.  They come in all sizes if you're enthusiastic, huh?

(Yes.)

You can't even be lonely.  You know a lot of people give me the lonely bit – you can't even be lonely if you're enthusiastic.  In fact sometimes you have to tune it down a little bit to get a little peace, right Gaye?

(Oh, yes.)  (laughter)

And be quiet all by yourself.

(Oh, yes.)

But that's when you even have to tone it down a little bit.  But if you're enthusiastic, they come.  You don't need advertising, you don't need billboards, you don't need nothin'!  They show up from all directions.   You put a whole group of people together and get 'em enthusiastic, that business or whatever they’re runnin' gets so busy, you can't stir it with a stick.  Right now!  It don't take months or years or any of these things, it does it now.  So if you want, you can have one wonderful day today.  Now the only thing that obstructs it is blaming.  Now you simply cannot do it while you have blame.  One of the dearest little friends I have who passed away not too long ago could never do anything because there was so many people to blame.  Now once in a while you can go around and get her distracted from the blamin’ and she'll get totally well of her condition, go out and do anything she wants to.  But the minute you turned your back, she went back to her blaming.  Now let's consider if blaming is so valuable to us that we wouldn't give it up for any purpose. 

You got anything to blame?

(Nope.)

Nothin' nor nobody.

(Nobody.)

Nothin' nor nobody.

(Nobody nor nothin'.)

Okay.  You got anything to blame, sir?

(Constantly.)

And obviously then you can't do any of these, could you?  You would say if I talked to you about it, "Well, I tried it."  Tried.  "But it was hard!”  So you're so busy blamin’, you can't do this.  Now there's a fundamental that you can't do two entirely different things at the same time.  You can't stand up and sit down.  That's another impossibility, is that right?  Now you can't be happy or joyful or enthusiastic and sad at the same time, is that right?  You just can't do it. 

(Is that when you're so-so?)

And it's so-so, you know – that's hung up in the middle and neither one way or the other.  Some guy said lukewarm, spit it out or whatever.  But you can stop blaming maybe.  But is that valuable to you to be able to blame?

(No, that's not.)

But you see we always say, “What is the cause of it?”  As though, if I could find what to blame then everthing would be all right.  But you never do find that really.  You can find somethin’ you can blame for a while, but you don't have to continue it.  Do you have somethin’ to blame, honey?

(Most of 'em I blame myself.)

Yeah, well that's no better than anybody else.  You might as well pick on somebody else as you.  You have to blame you?  I don't think you nor nobody else…nothing nor nobody is to blame and that includes you, huh?

(Right.)

But if you get a big kick out of pickin’ on you, why that's all right, isn't it?  But you can't be enthusiastic while you're picking on you.  You have to pick on you?  You know it's miserable to sit around and take a bat and hit yourself on your head all the time.  You blame yourself?  And everybody else?  Or a lot of 'em?  And obviously you can't be enthusiastic.  And so you tell me you have a hard time gettin' by and you're just a poor little woman all by herself that has all these troubles – never has enough money, never has enough income, never has enough friends.  Oh, it's pitiful. Isn't it.

(Oh yeah.)

You can just eat air and get fat over it.  (laughter)  You're whole bod's a mess.  Blame it –  that's a good one to blame, blame your bod.  It don't fight back too much, it just falls apart, mmm?  You want to blame your body?  Somebody says my stomach's weak.  My legs hurt me.  My thoughts drive me crazy, mmm?  I just can't seem to get anything done right.

(How about the past?)

Oh, that's a perfect one.

(My parents didn't love me enough.)

That's right… thank goodness they took care of me.  Who cares whether they loved me or not, I'll take care of that myself.  Mmm?  But that's a good one, isn't it?

(Very useful.)

“I was never loved as a child.  I had a very unhappy childhood.”

(It messed up my thinking.)

Right.  It's miserable to be a kid, period.  So we're out of that now, so let's be thankful for it, huh?  I don't wanna have to go through that stage again.  When people talk to me about reincarnation, I say to hell with it.  (laughter)  I’d have to be a kid again – that’s the most miserable mess I ever went through.  I don't want to go through that routine again, so don't let's lay that reincarnation junk on me anymore.  That means you gotta go through bein’ a kid again, mmm?  You're liable to get somebody else that don't love you.  (laughter)  Right?

(Yeah, not only 35 years, but I've got about 400 years.)

To go back and process and so then you're really in a mess, you know.  You keep getting these jokers that don't love you.  Who cares?  End of CD 5

Santa Ana School - CD 6

(first minute of tape is garbled) 

[continuing a conversation about little kids]  If I find one that’s lovable, I’ll love it.  But the rest of ‘em, to hell with it, huh?

(They are, too, though.)

Well, some of yours were.  But, you know, there's a lot of 'em that's not pleasant.  I was the pits.

(Did you ever find a real baby, a little baby that was not loveable?)

Well, I know, but they grow out’a that so durn fast.  (laughter)

(Just like a kitten.)

Kittens are all loveable, but cats are a different breed.  (laughter) So, you know there's an awful lotta kids that are not loveable, so you know, only a mother, even a mother couldn't love some of 'em.  That's all there is to it.  And you and I were probably one of those.  I know I was.  How ‘bout you?  Were you loveable?

(Well, they didn't love me.)

Well… I can see why.  (laughter)

Now if you was like you are now, they'd probably love you, but who cares, you know.  So, some little urchin goin' around bitchin' cause they're not loved.  Hell, we aren't loveable – why should we be loved?  They take care of us – that's all I'm interested in.

(So you read all these books that says that they're supposed to love you. You know, “Dick and Jane” and they all have one mother and one father so you get real upset.)

You do.  I forget those stories and laugh about it – man, that's really puttin' out one there.  So you see, I see that there is a constant array of material that's pounded at us mornin', noon and night that says, “You are a victim!”  The government is pourin’ it out by the tons that everbody is a victim.  You're a victim of all the suppliers of all these goodies you get – they're liable to cheat you.  You're a victim of the environment.  You're a victim of the food you eat.  I've been eatin' that stuff for years and it hasn't hurt me.  You know… you don’t have to get all upset about that.  You hear people go along sayin' that if you eat a piece of bacon, it's got a nitrite in it and that's terrible stuff, you know.  I've been eatin' bacon for years and so far I'm disgustingly healthy and I'm older than anybody in here and still doin' all right.  Hmm?  You afraid to eat a lot of things?

(No.)

You eat anything that don't run away from you.

(That's it.) (laughter)

I'll try to catch it halfway; if it don't get too slippery, I'll catch it.  So what's the difference?  I know people that cross the border into Mexico, which is about an inch from where I live, and they get sick – always get diarrhea and they get upset stomachs.  I been goin' down there for years.  I look at it and say, "Well, that guy eat it and it don't hurt him, it's not gonna hurt me,” and I never have come back sick or been unsafe down there or anything else.  And I've eaten in restaurants that had a roof over it and I had to scrape the dead flies out of the sugar to get the sugar to put in my coffee.  (Laughter)  I feel fine.  And I eat meat down there and I'm not sure what it was – it looked like cooked toast, but I don't know whether it was or not but anyway it tasted all right, huh?

(The thing that surprises me is going to Tijuana.  Tijuana's water supply comes from San Diego and people will not drink the water.)

Well, it went across the border.  (laughter) 

(That's right.  (laughing)  Oh yeah, it went across the border.  The big restaurants, they get their water supply from San Diego.   It's San Diego water and people refuse to drink the water!)

Because everbody told you so – it's dangerous. 

(You drink the water in San Diego.)

So I've never found anything that bothered me.  I've been to some of those little restaurants way down towards the southern borders of Mexico where you eat and a little roof over and the dogs and so forth come in and if I look at somethin’ on the plate looks a little touchy, I try it on one of the dogs.  (laughter)  He eats it.  If he turns up his nose, so do I.  (Laughter)  Why bother with it.  But we have constantly trained to blame and that we are victims, so we will put other people in charge over us.  Now this is where all institutions come:  they complain for you, stick up for your rights, and blame for you and convince you to do it too, huh?  And then you give them power over your existence – total control.  Big business, they tell you all the things you gotta have, but “Big Business” is set by government.  “Power Policies”… they tell you big business is out to take you.  Did you notice that?  Hmm?  “Power Policies” says these guys are your enemy.  Here comes along the “Healing Arts” and they say that both of these are your enemies 'cause they say what this one tells you to eat is gonna make you sick and this one says whatever it’s gonna do.  And then there is “Theology” and they tell you everthing you like, everthing that you enjoy doin’ is illegal, fattenin’ or immoral – somethin' like that, hmm?  And so we set around and feel we are victims, look sad and beautiful, don't enjoy existence and die at a very young age.  For what?  We know what to blame though, don't we?  Hmm?  And we cannot take charge of our own existence – at all – because somebody is preventing us, huh?  And you can act anyway you want to, even though you were in the pit when you thought of it, is that right, dear one?  If you don't blame somethin’.  But if you got a blaming going, that's an absolute bar against doin’ anything.  Now which would you rather do:  feel good or enjoy your favorite blaming trip?

(Feel good!)

Wonderful!  Nothin's gonna prevent it – except your blaming.  Now when you see that you don't know the cause of anything – nothin’! – then obviously there's nothing nor nobody to blame.  It's just a series of things that I can always cannot say that I can control everything that ever happened to me, but I can sure determine how I'm gonna respond to it, right, Gaye?  Yes, ma'am.  What's you got to talk about, honey?

(Big business thing; it flashed last night when we were sitting, watching TV and there was a commercial on for the “Meat Wagon” which is a new children's toy that goes along a track.  And a car goes along and the car wrecks and there's fire, flame, real flame and then you have the meat wagon that comes along.  They come out and they can crank out the car and the body's still in one piece so they put the body in.  It the most hysterical – and there were probably ambulances called the meat wagon.    And it says on TV that you can put the body in the ambulance if there's any body left.)

And it goes runnin' off with it, and saves everbody.........(everyone talks at once)  You want one of those for Christmas, Charlie? 

(What?)

You want one of those Meat Wagon things for Christmas?

(No.)

No.  (everyone starts laughing and talking at once)

Okay, yes ma'am?

(Even stuff like, “If you get your feet wet when it's raining, you'll catch a cold.”)

Oh.

(People get sick instantly as soon as their feet get wet.)

Why sure.  You know to blame that dirty old rain for gettin' on your feet and Mama told you for years and years if you got your feet wet, it'd kill you.  There was a kid down in La Jolla a few years ago I knew real well.  One day it was sprinklin’ rain like it was yesterday late and he was out pattin' around in front of the garage, barefooted.  His grandmother came out, "George, you get in the house and get you some shoes on!  You're gonna get your feet wet and you're gettin' a cold!”  He said, "Granny, you're crazy. I go out and surf every day in the water (hilarious laughter) and I don't get a cold.”  She said, "Yeah, but that's salt water!”  (more hilarious laughter) 

(There's also the one about the little boy that was wearing a sweater.  He said, "I wear this sweater because my mother's cold.”)

Right.  (more laughter.)  You heard that one too.  That really happened; we didn't make this up out of the blue, that's really right – Granny come out there.  Now Granny's not gonna have anything changed.  So if he didn't get wet from, didn't get a cold from havin' his feet wet surfin' it was just because it was salt water… that fresh stuff’ll kill ya.  (laughter)  And fresh rainwater will getcha – every day.   [Bob chuckles]  So there is only one obstruction to us having any state of being we want, and that’s blaming.  But that’s the total absolute, infallible bar.  Now can you stop the blamin’ long enough to feel good? 

(No...)  (laughter)

Who is it this time, Joan? 

(Who’s to blame?)

Yeah, who's to blame?  What's to blame this time? 

(Circumstances.) 

Circumstances.  Well, there is nothin' we can do about it, so you're just hung there.  You'll just have to stay in the pit because there's nothin' we can do about circumstances.  They're gonna stay there.  There's gonna be some kind of circumstances around – that's all there is to it.  Okay, who's got a comment, question, somethin' you wanna talk about?  There really isn't anything left to talk about.  (laughter)  You've had it.  [Bob laughs, too.]  You wanna be in the pit?  Be my guest.  If you wanna be on top of the world, be my guest; but there's really nothin’ to talk about.  Yes, Jeannine?

(There's a question from yesterday's discussion.  You said that you can change your purpose in a moment – just like that.)

We just talked about that all morning, haven't we? 

(Well, not yesterday.) (laughter)

If your purpose is to blame or your purpose is to enjoy being, which one do you want?

(Enjoy being.)

Now that's really the basic options, I believe is the new “federal-ese” that we use all the time.  That's the basic options you have available to you. 

(The question is in Headlines you talk about doing “The Work.”  What is that?)

Just what we're talkin’ about.  That's all we ever talk about.  Isn't that terrible and rough, huh?

(You can do it in a moment and there's no work to do.)

Well, yeah, it keeps on doin' it.  I still have to be in charge of me.  Doin' the Work is being in charge instead of blamin’.  Now you have two options.  These are the “options” available to you.  I got a letter from a guy in Washington, D.C.  He used the word options eleven times in a one-page letter, so I figure that's the new federal-ese.  I believe him because he uses it.  So we have an option.  You can blame, or you can act any way you want to, but you can't do both, okay?  Now you can't do both at the same time.  That's an impossibility.  You can't stand up and sit down at the same time, right?  But you can either blame or choose how you will act.  Now you can't choose how you will act as long as you're blaming – that's an absolute bar against it.  Marvin?

(I was just stretchin' some.)

Okay, good.  You just stretchin' too, honey? 

(The question always gets put to me is, okay, now I know how to do it.  What happens when, like Evie said, I'm really in the pit and I try to do it and then I can't do it?  Okay, let's say even if I know it's a “trying.”  But the question is always, you know, then I start, what comes out is then I start judging myself and I feel like I'm bad because I…)

And you're blaming you.  So we didn't say anything about tryin’, we said blaming.  So now which do you wanna do:  blame or enjoy being? 

(Isn't there a time when somebody would choose to stay in the pit?)

Oh YES!  Quite often, most of ‘em do because it's so much less responsible there.  Lots of people choose hell every day in the week, you know.  It wouldn't be so full if we didn't use it, dammit.  Huh? 

(Is there anything wrong with staying there for a while?)

Not a thing right or wrong about it.  (more laughter.)  You haven't heard me use one iota and say one was good and one was bad have you, Joan?  If you wanna stay in hell, be my guest.  I will send you flowers and a carton of cigarettes ever month or two.  (more laughter)

If you wannna stay, you know, I have friends that's been in hell for years and I’m in regular communication with ‘em.  I love them dearly – I don't care if they can stay in hell if they want to.  I wish they'd get out 'cause I would enjoy visiting with ‘em more, but if they want to stay in hell I'm gonna still talk to ‘em.  I'm just not gonna visit ‘em much.  I don't like the joint myself – smells bad.  But I would not dislike you because you prefer to stay in hell, you know; I think you're wonderful.  I like you just like you are.  If your taste goes to hell, that's fine.  I just happen to like other places better, okay?  But I would not say they're wrong.  All I'm pointing out that you can do either one, okay?  And as long as you know that you can do either one, right?...who am I to say where you want to spend your vacation?  Where you want to abode.  Where you want to build your home.  I don't care.  I will love you just as dearly if you like to stay in hell, that's fine.  I got more friends in hell than I have out – I'll guarantee you that.  The biggest part of them, that's where they spend their time.  Where do you spend most of your time?  (laughter)  Where do you spend most of your time?

(Well, a good amount of time down there, yeah.)

Right, down there in the pit, huh?  That's all right with me; I like you just as well.  And most all of us have spent enough time there that we could be called natives of the joint anyway, you know.  That right, Jeannine? 

(True enough.)

We're well acquainted – everbody knows us.  Yes, Judy?

(A “why question”:  why do so many people choose that way?)

It just doesn't take any effort.

(You're already there.)  (more laughter)

I'm at home here.  You know, people don't like a sudden change in lifestyle, Judy.  You see, I've known people who lived in little shacks out on the hillside and went hungry and carried water from way down the place to get a drink and everthing.  And you pick 'em up and move 'em into a very nice home with a bathroom and runnin' water and all the central heat – you know what they'll do?  They'll tear it up so it'll be like that place that came from.  People dislike sudden changes in lifestyle.  Now the only reason everybody doesn't walk out of this room enthusiastic today is that you don't wanna change – a sudden change in lifestyle – and you've enjoyed being in hell.  You don't like it but it's familiar – you know, to stay in the pit.  You don't like it, but it's familiar and I don't like a sudden change in lifestyle.  You see, country boys don't do well in the city suddenly.  You have to take ‘em up through small towns and little villages, then small towns, little larger town and finally you can get ‘em to LA.  But even then they'll try to make a small town out of it.  They'll go back and divide it into 500 little places and try to tell you how to get around in it.   I went to be around with Mike the other day and they had me out in town and they said it's LA and then there was a thousand towns up there – Orange, Redondo Beach, Manhattan Beach.  I said, "Where the hell are we?"  "We're in LA."  But they gotta divide it up so they're small towns.  They can't stand the cities.  Yes, hon.

(That's the same as with plants; they can't stand sudden changes.)

Right.  They can't stand sudden changes of lifestyle.  So the reason we mostly stay so miserable is that we are (Hello Darlene, come in the house, sit down.) we don't like sudden changes of lifestyle, you know… So we just are familiar with hell and we stay there.  Come in and drop it, honey.  How's everthing?

(Wonderful!) 

Good!  Is it rainin' outside?

(I just arrived in town.)

It says it's just rainin'.  I know you just arrived in town.  Was it rainin' in Seattle?

(Yes, constantly.)

I was talkin' to somebody there; they said it definitely wasn't a drought there anymore.  Any more questions, comments?  You know why you like to stay in hell is cause, you know, I’m better acquainted there, you know, that's all… sudden changes in lifestyle is upsetting.

(I think sometimes you don't know you have an option to be different; sometimes you...)

Well, I sure laid it out here.

(No.  I… Prior.)

Prior to this.  I said there was nothin’ to keep you from goin' out of this room.  I didn't say anything about [unclear].  There's nothin' to keep you from goin' out of this room – fully enthusiastic and enjoy living – except you don't want to change your lifestyle, or you're blaming, is that right? 

(Right.)

Okay.  Blame is the perfect bar and then the next one is inertia.  Inertia is we don't want to change our lifestyle even though we don't like it. 

(Doesn't that have to do with responsibility, too, because if we stop blaming then you have to do something?)

Right.  [he chuckles]  But I said, you know, you'd rather blame than be responsible sometimes, wouldn't you?  Right?  So that way we can keep our old lifestyle, be miserable, and we've got somethin' to blame and I don't ever have to be responsible to do it.  How do you want to go out of the room today?

(I want to go out feeling very enthusiastic.)

Is there anything to prevent you?

(Nope.)

Unless you’re blaming or just don't wanna be bothered with it, huh?  How about you, Arlene?

(With whatever way I feel at the time.)

Yeah, feelin' is gonna get you down.  You're gonna let the feeling run it, so the rest of us will have to take care of poor Arlene’s feelings or else she's liable to get down in the dumpies and it would all be our fault.  So everybody hug her as she goes out the door.  (laughter)  If even one forgets, it'll be just like honey, [he sighs dramatically] right? 

(I don't think so.)

You don't.  Well, how come that one skipped?  (laughter.)  Wait and see.  At least one of ‘em will, honey.  (laughter)  Okay, we have been around for a while.  We will have another session about 2:30.  In the meantime, I'm available if anybody feels that they want to be in the pit, I will visit with them.  

(Before anybody goes, if anybody is here for the first time, we have a list to be signed and also leave a check for $100 or cash.)

So Miss Joan takes care of that.  She'll be back there at the back table.  Now you'll please sign the thing because I am obligated by government agencies to have your name, address, phone number, etc.  And, of course, they would like for me to get the money so I can give them part of it. 

[After the break…]  (talking back and forth as they get settled)

So let's continue on our way.  As I wander around I try to find the things that probably require talkin' about a little bit.  So let's talk about what is meant by the term self-knowing.  And what do we mean when we say the "self" that we're gonna know about.  The "self" is what I live by.  [he writes it on the board]  It is the whole concept of what I hold true.   What “I”, meaning everbody, hold true, to be true.  And what I hold to be true is what I live by.  So it is interesting to look and see what I live by.  So we live by those things that we hold to be true.  So if I hold it to be true that the whole purpose of living is to be non-disturbed, that's what I live by.  If I live by the idea that somebody is to blame for me not feelin' top of the world today, then I live by blaming, hmm?  And if I live by the fear that a little food will make me fat or make me sick, that's what I live by: and sure enough it'll work that way pretty well.  So what I live by is most interesting to look at; and that is knowing the self.  Now the self can undergo transformation because one could see that some of the things one might live by is not true anymore.  Maybe it was at one time, but not true to me anymore.  And if I should make me a new set of ideas to live by, I have undergone a transformation; and that really is the only transformation is the things that I hold to be true.  Now we could draw a little picture here that would pretty well cover what most everone holds to be true.  First, that the purpose of living is to be non-disturbed – that it's true that I must have my way right now.  And of course that causes a lot of commotion but nevertheless, I can be holdin' that that's the thing to do.  Do you ever do that?  It's gotta be your way.  Right now!

(Oh no, I never do that.)

Never!  None of the rest of us either.  And we can also that we have to stick up for our rights.  Now, of course you never hold that to be true either.  You don't stick up for your rights, don't ever have to defend yourself – never.  And, of course, one never has to feel that one must please other people – never.  We don't hold that the authorities we have set up are true and that other people's are false.  And we don't feel that we oughta have to be different.  And, of course, we never blame anything.  We always assume 100% responsibility for self, right?

(Absolutely.)

Absolutely.  We also lie a lot.  (laughter)  So as we would observe this, we see what the self is, is that which I hold true and is that which I live by.  Now once I have made something true, I never have to think of it again.  And I will continually, automatically from there on live by it.  We have a little statement that says, [he writes the sentence on the board] "Once a conclusion is established, it is the rule of attitude/action from that moment on," without ever thinking about it, without ever bein’ aware of it anymore, or anything else until such time as I re-evaluate that, recognize it and re-evaluate it.  Now to re-evaluate something is to see whether I, any longer, hold it to be true.  I didn't finish the sentence up there.  It says, "Once a conclusion is established, it is the rule of attitude/action (see I leave words out) from that moment on without ever thinkin’ about it, without ever bein’ concerned with it.”  So, obviously there is no effort involved in a complete transformation in ourselves except the re-evaluation bit.  Now how long does it take me to see that these things don't fit my purpose today?  How long? 

(A moment.)

A moment.  And how long would it take me to establish a new conclusion?  Now, last Sunday I think most of the peoples here now was here last Sunday – not everbody – but we talked about a party somewheres.  And at the end of the party, it said about the only thing left that I could see I could do would be a good guest here.  So you want me to tell the party story?

(Mm-hmm.)

Okay.  I like tellin’ it anyway.  It says there's four questions that each of us would come up with and these four questions would be:  "What am I?"  "Where am I?"  "What's Goin’ On Here?" and "What Can I Do?"  Now those are four questions that would determine if a person could intelligently answer those, they say you're sane.  And if you don't know what you are, and you don't know where you are, and you don't know what's goin’ on here, and you don't know what you can do, that's considered the cardinal sign of insanity.  Did you know that?  (Laughter)  Put you in the lock-up for that.  That's true, Jeannine.

(I don't believe it.)

You go see if you're legally declared insane.  This is the criterion – believe it or not.  If you don't know what you are, you don't know where you are, and you don't know what's goin’ on here, and you don't know what you can do, that is legal insanity.  And a person can be committed to institutions on that grounds, dear.

(Bob, if you gave them your answer, do you think they would commit you?)

I know I would be! (laughter)

(No, really…who is establishing rules for that little game?)

Well, it's the legislature of most states incidentally.  Is that right, doctor?  That is the criterion, really – legal insanity.  Now it's not what the physician might say was insanity; but the state can lock us up.  If I'm out here wanderin' around and some guy says, “Who are you?” … "Well, I don't know." … “Where are you?” and I said, "Well, I think I'm in Alabama, but I'm not sure.  I really don't know."  And he says, “What's goin' on here?” and I say, "Well, I don't know, I never was here before."  They say, “What can you do?” and I said, "I don't know, I don't know whether I can chop wood, I don't know whether… I don't know any occupation that I can remember,” … I'm legally insane, Jeannine, and that really happens to be right.

(I thought that the person had to be a danger to himself and others, that that was a prime thing.)

Wouldn't you think that a person don't know these would be a little dangerous to himself and others.

(No.)

You don't?  Well, you ought to get out here and look around.  They run into each other and they step on each other, and they have fights with each other and there is considerable danger of annihilating each other 'cause they don't know what's going on.  So I'll try to answer the questions, okay?

(Okay.)

Now I did not say that my answer was the answer, did I? 

(No.)

Okay.  Just an answer.  To me… and one, which you can borrow if you like, okay?  So What am I?  Well, let's use the available evidence that I arrived on this planet earth totally without any effort on my part that I can recall of, is that right?  And I arrived here broke, helpless, nekkid, toothless, hungry and didn't know any language.  Is that about the way you got here?

(Yes.)

And uninvited by the people here – that's for sure.  So it would stand to reason that I'm a privileged, invited guest of Life, okay?  So Life invited me to somethin’.  And where am I?  It's obvious that I'm at this beautiful estate called Earth, is that right?  No challenge on that, is it?  So then it's established that I'm a privileged invited guest of Life to this, and where am I?  At this beautiful planet Earth where Life is the host, okay?  And so what's goin’ on here?  Well, now we can check that out, too.  There's a tremendous big party goin’ on, hmm?  A whole millions of guests have been invited.  Right?  Millions of guests have been invited and they're all playin' games.  So it must be a big party, hmm?  And you have plenty of other guests to associate with; and you don't have to associate with any given one of 'em if you don't particularly like ‘em, right?  And you can play games – any game you want to get in with or you can get out if you want to.  You don't have to play the game if you don't want to.  Is that right?  And you never did think of it as a game, so you didn't know what's goin’ on.  So you're a privileged invited guest at this beautiful estate called Earth where there is a great big party goin' on and that you have been provided with food, clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting other guests to associate with, interesting things to do – ever since you've been here.  That correct?  And you didn't even know what was goin' on.  And when you got here you were provided with a couple of servants who looked after you and provided for you until you was big enough to do it on your own, is that correct?

(Right.)

And you've never been without food, clothing, shelter, transportation since you've been here, is that right?  And the Host didn't ask you to check out His guest list to see why He invited the other guests, did He?  No.  He must have found them interesting or He wouldn't have invited ‘em, huh?  And you have all sorts of things that you may do, is that correct?

(Right.)

And they're all interesting if you want to do ‘em.  But you have never known what you were, where you were, or what's going on and so you felt you was kind of trapped in this thing at times, hmm?  And they told you the games were for real (not games) and you thought you had to play the same old game year in, year out, is that right?  Did you ever play the marriage game?

(Uh-huh.)

Got caught in that, but you didn't have to stay there, right?  Huh?

(Right.)

And all these many things like that.  You've played the various professional games, and you gotta do it, huh?

(Right.)

But you can stop playing any game you want to, right?  Now when you see all of this, the next question is, "What can I do?"  Now when I see that I'm a privileged invited guest at a beautiful estate called Earth where Life is the Host and that I have all these things to play the games and everthing, it would appear to me there's only one thing that would seem valid for me to do – be a good guest.  Whatever to me seems like to being a good guest.  Now being a good guest, I obviously wouldn't harm the other guests, right?

(Right.)

And I don't feel obligated to do anything because I was invited, but I would like to say thank you.  So my way of sayin’ thank you would probably be making some kind of contribution and one contribution I've found I can always make is to a pleasant, harmonious mood.  Now I said a contribution.  I didn't say the whole thing, did I?  In other words if I'm with 6 people and three of ‘em are don't know what they are or where they are, or what's going on, they may be makin’ a contribution to a lousy mood.  But at least I can make a contribution to a pleasant mood, is that right?  And I may even do something you would enjoy once in a while, is that right?  I might cook you dinner.  Now you'd have your dinner whether I cooked it or not, but I could feel, “Well I'll make a little contribution today,” huh?  Now would that be enough?  And if I was only intent, my only occupation here is to be a good guest, would I have any static or worries or frets?  I've never had any laws against it.  Did you know that?  There's no laws against bein’ a good guest.  There's nobody keeps me from bein’ a gentlemen.  There's nobody keeps me from not makin’ a mess.  There's no laws against that.  No laws against or anybody’ll stop me if I clean up the estate a little bit once in a while if I see tin cans and two-by-fours layin’ in the freeway.  Nobody bothers me about cleanin’ that up, do you?  And there's no laws against me contributin’ to a pleasant, harmonious mood.  Hmm?  That right?  And there's no laws against any of these things.  So if I see what I am, where I am, what's going on here, and what I can do, then my whole purpose of living ceases to be this mess of stuff over here [he points to the 7 decisions on the board] and becomes simply…that, I'm doing what to me seems to be being a good guest, okay?  And then the one's whole bit of any conflict, struggle resistance has gone out the door.  Now one has then made a transformation.  This was one's truth or what I know to be true, what I live by for a long time, and one day after I saw the answer to those questions I have an entirely different purpose – be a good guest; and it covers the whole thing.  There's no conflict within over that.  Nothin' to fight with – within or without.  And now, then, it's simply to live with your fellow man without havin’ any hassles or arguments, hmm?  Fights.  Struggle.  So does that look like as you check it out that it's probably about the way it is?  Did you ever think of those four questions before?

(No, I didn't.  And I'm wondering if it's… I'm trying to think of how it's possible to live without any conflict to it.  Only if you make up your mind.)

Oh, I'm just a good guest – there's nothin' to fight about.  I treat you all right, don't I? 

(Mm-hmm.)

I just run into you.  I'm glad you was at the party, but I just run into you the other day.  You've been runnin' around different parts of the estate.  I don't have no trouble gettin' along with you.  We're just bein' good guests here, so I don't bother the Host's other guests. 

(What if I caused you some trouble?)

Oh, I just step out of the way.

(Oh, pay no attention to me.)

Right.  I won't bother with you.  There's a lot of other people to play with.  If you wanna be noisy, I'll just take a walk.  I'll do as they say, “pull a Hank Snow” (“I'm a 'movin' on,” you know… that was his theme song) so I'll just be movin' on a little bit.  Why go over and talk to her if she wants to do all that?

(What about feelings that are involved in that?  Love – that’s a really ambiguous word – like love?  What would you do about that?)

It's that feeling you get when you've been rejected.

(Yeah, right.) (she laughs)

Well, what do you mean what would I do about it?  Well if it's givin' me nice feelings, I'll stick around and get some more.  If you start not dishin' 'em out, I'll take a walk, okay?

(Yeah, but what if I, okay, I cause you a lot of trouble and you still have the feeling?)

What do you mean a lot of trouble?  How can you cause me any trouble?  I don't have no trouble unless I make it for myself.  You couldn't maybe not fit an ideal, but I don't have an ideal anymore.  And used to, I had an ideal for all the other guests, how they oughta be, you know.  And of course I had gobs of troubles; gobs of them caused me troubles in those days.  I say it but they really didn't.  If I don't have an ideal (we talked about that yesterday, didn't we?) if we don't have an ideal, then you're not causin' me any trouble.  Now if I have an ideal that you were supposed to be five foot, one inch, had black hair, dark brown eyes and x number of millimeters here and millimeters here and millimeters there, you probably wouldn't fit it and I would say you was causin' me an awful lot of static, huh?  Yes, dear?

(I notice it's not what you mean… but twice now I keep coming back to the same thing.  I almost hear you saying if you don't get along with somebody, it's because I have an ideal… because I have an ideal about them?)

Well that's pretty close to it, isn't it? 

(I don't know.)

How can I not get along with you if I just take you like you are?  Now if I wanted you to be somethin’ different, then I'm havin’ all kinds of static tryin’ to make you be different.  Did you ever take a cat, we'll say, or a dog and build you a mold that you knew would make that a better lookin' dog or cat – especially a cat – and try to force it in there?  Can you imagine what would happen? 

(The cat would go crazy.)

And you would be the one with the cat that would claw you all to pieces, right?  Now if I come along and tried to make you over, you would probably fight a little bit about it, knowing you… and everbody else in this room, huh?  But if I like you like you are, are you gonna fight with me?  Now if I tried to make you over and make you like things you now don't like and not like things that you now like, huh?  And I tried to make you… said, “Well, I'd like you a lot better if you lost eight pounds and I'd like you a lot better if you didn't go around in your stocking feet and I'd like you a lot better if you dyed your hair green or whatever it may be that I wanted.  Now I'm trying to make you over and you'd bitch, wouldn't you, hmm?  But as long as I like you just like you are, you got anything to fight with me?  No way, hmm? 

(That's right.)

And if I especially kind of approve of it every now and then, I don't think I… you know I've been livin' around this world a long time; I don't have any trouble with people. 

(So is what you're saying either you take a person for what they are and like them or leave, right?)

Right.  Because if you don't appeal to me at all, I'll just… you know, that's just, there's plenty of guests here enough for me and everbody else and I'll just pick out the ones I like.  And the others are nice people, but I just won't bother ‘em, okay?  There's lots of guests at the party and thank goodness I have plenty to choose from. Yes, Judy?

(One reason that you get along with people is because you don't spend that much time with anyone?)  (laughter.)

All is new and fresh then.  (more laughter)

(You’re the original Hank Snow, so it's real easy –)

I'm a movin' on, so they're glad to see me when I get home.

(I think you wrote that song.)  (more laughter)

Like it is, you just don't get on anybody's nerves, honey.  Yes, sir – Russ?

(I would think the thing to do before you started is to say I'm happy or not happy and then let it go at that.)

If I don't like or like, I'm not goin’ to try to make her over.  If I like her like she is, I will be around.  If I don't like her, I'm sure not goin’ to try to make her over because there's another one around already ready-made, see? 

(I have a situation that we could discuss.)

Okay, let's take yours.

(Okay, this is a work situation and I talked to you about it.)

Yes, dear.

(I have a man that for no apparent reason took a great dislike to me; and he effectively hexed a promotion, okay?  Which would have meant a great deal to me.)

Yes.

(It's been really a lot of fun trying to get along with this gentleman because he is just bound and determined I can't do anything right.)

Yeah, he don't like you and obviously you can't do anything right, that's for sure. 

(The funny thing is, you know, when he was coming to this location, everyone knew that he was a terrible person to get along with and so I went out of my way to, you know, to make sure I was Johnny-on-the-spot and to be helpful and a good guest and you know, provide –)

Provide the whole thing.

(Yeah, and it seems as though he dislikes me in direct proportion to ....)

...how good you were to him.

(Yeah, right.)

So you're trying to please him.  This one right here. [he points to the “pleaser” decision on the board]

(Uh-huh.)

And it always blows up on you.  Right! 

(Yeah.)

So what are you gonna do about it now? 

(Well, I avoid him as much as possible.)

Good. 

(I just avoid him.  I did have a showdown with him one day.)

Yeah, you had a drag out with him one time, huh?  That made the association a lot nicer after that.  (laughter)  And of course, I'm glad that you heard before everybody heard you say that it was known he was an SOB before he got here.

(Yeah, that's true.)

So everybody approached him as one of those when he came in.  (laughter)  And everbody was [unclear] and he lived up to his expectation the way he was treated.  Well, you see, I have another little trick I play.  I always look at everbody as though they were Moses playin’ the role of somebody else.  So you’re Moses plain' the role of Jeannine to me and he's Moses playin' the role of an SOB, you know, and so on.  It's surprising how much different they behave when you see them that way.  So well, tomorrow…are you goin’ to work tomorrow? 

(No.)

But after the New Year's before you go back.  Okay, when you get back New Year's, he has been transformed into Moses playin' the role of a dirty coot to see how you will treat him.  And you see him that way.

(I treated him very well.)

Oh, I know because you're afraid to do otherwise. 

(No, I did otherwise also – I tried everything.)    End of CD 6

Santa Ana School – CD 7 

Everbody approached him as bein’ that way; and so, obviously he lived up to it.  You know it's surprising how many people we've got already pegged before we ever meet them. 

(His reputation was well earned.)

It probably was. I wasn't back there.  I had that kind of a reputation too.  And I earned it.  (laughter) I earned it, that's true.  Ok, Judy?

(Can we go back to that?  I'm serious about that, about what you said about pulling a Hank Snow.  In personal relations do you think it's possible for a man and a woman to have an ongoing relationship?)

For over many years?  Yeah, if they live on a farm.  (laughter)  You know, he needs her and she needs him if they live on a farm, but now they don’t need to.  You can go down to the corner grocery and get anything you want, you know.  My mother and dad lived together for 72 years – on a farm.  You know…but when they left the farm and went to my brother's house they started fightin’ like cats and dogs in a week.  I had to get one of 'em and take 'em away.  So you know, they didn't need each other.  So I think these long-lastin’ ones is better on farms; otherwise twelve, thirteen years seems to be the limit.  (laughter)

(Thirteen?)

Twelve, thirteen... you're just gainin’ ground on it. 

(unclear)

Well, you took a breather.  (laughter)

(Bob I don't know about that… where did you get that?)

Well, I just pulled it out of the blue just now.  (laughter)

(When you say that you can just go down to the grocery store and get what you want, is the implication that we're all…?  I mean there’s just an abundance of delightful people.  Nobody is really special.)

Oh yes, they're all special.  Everybody's special.  (everybody talks)  Oh, you better believe they're special.

(But not one special.)

Oh, not just one…good night!  I hope I don't just get hung up with one in this world, dear.  Good Lord!

(That was a lot of suggestions.)

Well, they're layin' it out here.  So how long did you keep with it at one time?

(Thirty-nine years.)

Thirty-nine.  How did you get along all those 39 years?

(So-so.)

So-so.  That's what I thought, you know.  About right – so-so.    How long was it really super duper? 

(It was very good in spots but like an egg, you know… good in (unclear) )  (Laugher)

Now Virginia, I'm not doin' these, I'm lettin' everybody else do 'em for me, you see.  How long did you keep one goin’? [talking through the laughter] 

(Three years.)

Three years and then it got what?

(Weird.)

Fell apart, huh?  Darlene, how long did you keep one goin'?

(No comment.) (laughter)

Anyway it wasn't worth it, huh?  You don't even want to talk about it, huh? 

(Mine went over 12 years.)

I know it.  Well, she still looks like she's 14 so.... he started with a child bride and raised her up the way she should go.  Did you get married?  How long did you whack it out?

(Five.)

Five.  You see my average is doin' pretty good here: 3, 5, 7 and one 39.  Now you average those...

(I'd like to say one thing about my marriage. I think the reason it's .....)

What'd you do with it?

(Well, we were both professionals; we worked together but in our own field.  It was good.)

He went one way and you went the other.

(No, no, we shared… we shared a common experience.)

Well, I said you was farmers, so to speak – you were both out raisin' a crop, same one.

(It was good.)

But you see most of the time why people, one over here’s doin' this and one's doin' that and each one's tryin' that, so you in effect were farmers.  Like I said to Judy back there, if you’re a farmer, why it works fine, ok?  So you're farmers.

(But there was something to a long relationship like that.  I enjoyed it.)

You did.  Well, that's nice.

(We had three kids and I liked it.)

I like one.  I had one that lasted a week or two once.  (laughter)   I stayed in one place three weeks one time.  (laughter)  No, I have very lasting arrangements in this world.  Some very lasting ones so it's all right.  But you can't do it, Judy, in the usual thing of you defendin’ yourself and ever time he comes in and says somethin’.  So people who don't have some new inkling of a way, as long as this is their purpose in living and this is their…what they hold to be true, there sure is gonna be a lotta rough spots in any close association.  Now if everbody was just happen to be workin’ to be a good guest, you could get along with the same person for a hundred years and never have a bit of trouble with it, ok?  It all depends on what your purpose is.  Yes, sir?

(You know, this business of being a good guest is sometimes a detriment too because –)

Yeah, it is.

( –in a marriage there reaches a time when you don't really feel like telling your partner something that’s bothering you and you wait till it comes to a head and then you do it.  And that, in a way, is like being a good guest.  In other words it's like putting a bullet in a gun and...)

I never did have nothin' bother me.

(But then you didn't have a marriage.)

Who said so?

(I assumed you didn’t.)

Oh, you was just assuming.  You know what that does to you, Gaye?  An “ass” of “u” and “me”.  [ass/u/me]

(You had one that lasted three weeks?)

No, she asked me if I had been in one place very long.

(Oh.)

I said I stayed in one place one time without goin' anywheres for three weeks.

(Were you married?)

When?  (laughter)  Another one of those questions.  Certain ones we don't bother with.

(You don't want to answer that?)

Don't even bother with them, ok?  You see that if you have the way you see people and the way what you hold to be true determines how you're gonna experience livin’.  Really.  How do you see the old man?

(Mine?)

Yeah. 

(He's ok.)

He’s ok – most of the time.  Or all the time? 

(I think now all the time.)

All the time.  Used to he had difficulties – before you got him straightened out.

(Yeah, right.)

But if you just happen to like a person as they are, you know.  If you can't accept a person as they are, there's very poor chance of makin' 'em over.  Really, I just find that – you have a very poor chance to make 'em over.  And I know over and over I hear somebody say, "Well, I know he did thus and so before I married him but I thought I could change that.”  And he bucks over that, you know that?  You ever have anybody try to change you?  You know, get you straightened out?

(Oh yeah.)

How'd you do?  Did you respond nicely or did you buck?

(No, I said goodbye.)

Goodbye.  You pulled a Hank Snow – you was a 'movin' on.  Did you ever have anybody try to change you?  What'd you do?

(I rebelled.)

You bowed up your back.  This is what everbody does.  So we look at people and we compare ‘em to an ideal.  We got the ideal in a little box up here and I got this and they're supposed to look like this and behave a certain way and I try to force 'em into that mold.  Now if you're not tryin’ to force a person into a mold, they have nothin’ to fuss with you about, do they?  Huh? 

(No.)

I see absolutely nothing that I can find fault with a person if I wasn't tryin’ to force them into a mold.  And if I just like you like you are, will you be nice?  I’d treat you all right, just nice.  Hmm?  But if I said you gotta do this and you gotta do this and you gotta quit likin’ to do this and you must start liking to do this – would you get a little bent out of shape?  Even as sweet as you are, huh?  Even Gaye would get bent out of shape, as sweet and as nice as she is, huh? 

(I got you fooled.)  (laughter)

So you see that everbody's sweet and nice as long as you're not tryin’ to make 'em over, huh?  And if you try to make ‘em over, they fuss, is that right?  Did you ever try to make anybody over?  Clients or associates? 

(Not clients, but sometimes associates, yes.)

Yeah, and how did they get along with it?

(Didn't work.)

They fuss, don't they?  Now they really didn't need to be made over 'cause you didn't like that one like it was, you can just ignore that and go get another one.  There's one of ever style here on this earth, at all times.  And so there is millions of people at the big party, right?  In fact over half of the people who’ve ever been born on the earth are alive today; so not too many of 'em has been sent away from the party.  Did you know that?

(Say that again?)

Over 50 per cent of all the people who's ever been born on this earth are alive today.  That's right.

(Who says so?)

Last count.  Census Bureau.  That's correct, though. 

(“They” said so?)  (laughter)

All the statistics have that one: all the people that's ever lived on the earth, half of 'em's alive today. 

(That doesn't seem right.)  (That's true.)  (a discussion starts, everyone talking)

They started out with two and they went plup, plup, plup, plup and after you get so far they go boom all at once and the other half dead, and... and so even though there's none of 'em over many years old, over half of 'em's alive.  I don't know.  I really could care less, but there's plenty, that's all I know.  There's plenty here, is that right?  Ok, there's plenty around to choose from so if I don't like one, I don't have to try to make it over, just move over there and get me another one.  Hmm?

(Right.)

Darlene?

(Well, I've observed that when you, like, when you don't try to change…well, like people can't stand peacefulness and so keep going around people that are trying to change them to keep things stirred up, they kinda don't like being around them and they’re bored when it’s peaceful?)

You know, that’s boring and peaceful is two different things.  But delightful is different, you know.

(Do you hear me though?)

I hear you; yeah I know people who like to create a fuss.

(Have you noticed that?)

Well, sure and some people like to watch violent movies on the boob tube, too. 

(Yeah, right.  And some people can't stand a neat room – they'll come in and mess it up a lot when they get home.) 

Well, it kind of matches your head on the insides you know.  It's natural – mess it up.  Some people can't stand messy ones too, is that right?  Ok?  I have a friend that can't stand ashtrays that's been touched and so forth and so on.  Ok?  So is there anything you have to change in anyone in order to get along with ‘em?  Ok, so if you don't like it, go ahead.  Now, that leaves you with being whatever you want to be and you can determine to you what can you do.  But I can only see it… well the only thing I can do is in some way say, "Thank you," for being invited to the party.  So we can each have my way of saying thank you.  Now you don't have to use any one I lay up here as a suggestion.   [he writes on the board] “My way of saying thank you.”  Now how would you want to say thank you?  It’s any way is open to you.  I just said some for instances here.  How would you wanna say thank you for being invited to a lovely party?  You're not obligated to do anything; you're invited so you just wanna say thank you.  What would you… how would you say thank you? 

(By giving a gift of myself – my own participation at the party.)

So just bein’, just as I said, be a good guest.  Join in the party and don't bitch about it, ok?  It's a good party; I like it.  Now maybe I wouldn't put on exactly the same kind had I been puttin' it on.  But I'm not puttin' it on – I just got invited.  You know, if you put on a party, it probably wouldn't be exactly like the one I would put on; but if you invited me I would say thank you for invitin’ me, right?  I would probably try to talk out of how to get there if I could, but if I couldn't talk myself out of goin' I would still be a good guest when I got there, ok?  And isn't that what we all are?  Did you really do anything to get here?

(No.)

And you know we see some people that come to the party and try to gather up all the silverware and everthing and get it in their pocket but when they leave, they don't get to take it with 'em.  They have to leave it, right?  Yes, Virginia?

(Yes, I did somethin' to get here?)

What'd you do? 

(I beat everybody else out.)

Well, I know but that was already at the party if you recall.

(Well, I don't know when your party started.)

Well, that's where it started.  There was a prize held out and whoever caught the prize got the rest of the way to the party.  You see, you were given a chance…along with about 186 thousands or millions more; and you won the prize.

(I won it.)

And so then you got to come to the party, but that was already…that's the first step, that’s the first game at the party, you see, is to catch the prize so that you get the little vehicle to come on.

(What are you talking about??)  (laughter)

Talk to Vi, she'll let you in on it.  (laughter)  Ok?  Now we have talked a little bit about maybe you could transform.  Transformation.  Now self-knowing is concerned with knowin’ what you hold to be true and what you live by.  And then self-remembering would be to remember what you are, where you are, what's going on here.  So there is two basic subjects: self-knowing and self-remembering.  Now if you remember even once and see what you really are, you would have an entire new purpose of living.  You'd have new things you hold to be true and you'd have new things to live by and you would be called a changed or a transformed person.  And that's all it is – and you don't ever have to think of it after that, so you can't tell me it's hard.  Anymore than it was hard to live by the Four Dual Basic Urges.  You didn't have to remember that.  Yes, Doctor?

(When you say self-remembering, are you kind of implying that we knew this at one time and forgot it?)

I think we was informed of it; we noticed it and then we immediately forgot it.  But to remember what I am, where I am – so maybe I didn't catch on, but once we know about it we remember it.  Can't forget it once you really know about it… anymore than you forgot that decision you made on the process of being born that the whole purpose of livin’ was to be non-disturbed.  You fought that tooth and toenail all these years, didn't you, honey?  Did you ever stop and think about it until some of us pointed it out to you?  No.  So don't tell me it's ‘hard’.  You know that's the favorite one everbody lays on me:  "Well, it's hard, I can't do it."   Crap – you can't keep from doin’ it.   And once you make a new purpose in livin’, which obviously you might could see, huh? you can't leave that one gone either.  You don't ever have to think about it but you’ll live by it day-by-day, moment-by-moment with the same ease that you live by the Four Dual Basic Urges.  And the only thing I heard about the Four Dual Basic Urges was what it brought about – not remembering it, didn't.  Did you ever have to remember to try to work to be non-disturbed, stick up for your rights, blame, defend yourself, and have to try to please all these uncouth jerks that come around and so forth, hmm?

(Nope.)

Like that!  [he snaps his fingers]  Ok?  So you see it's not hard.  Now it only requires one thing I guess:  we be responsible for seeing what we are and seeing where we are and what's going on and we would rather somebody would come tell us a ready-made story, huh?  And then we can have things like, “I'm a mother,” “I'm a physician,” “I'm a mechanic,” “I'm a cook,” “I'm a parent,” “I'm a redhead,” and take care of all of those and then I would never have to be really anything then.  You see, if you ask somebody what are you, what would you probably have told me yesterday?

(I'm a woman.)

And today I said you was a privileged invited guest.  Which one you like best?

(Well, I like both.)

Well I know, but you're a privileged invited guest and the fact that you be female has very little to do with it.  I'm glad you are.  Hmm?

(I like being invited.)

Yeah.

(That's a comforting idea.)

Right.  And the other one you might say, well, you was only sayin’ you were a certain gender and that's not very complete, is it?  You’re a lotta things besides gender.

(Yeah, I noticed when I said that, that being a woman, I was isolated.  But being a privileged invited guest –)

....puts you right in the middle, right in the middle of the crowd, do you see that? So, one you're saying that all you are is a gender.

(Yeah, right.)

That's really puttin' yourself down as far as I'm concerned.  Right?

(Right.)

Surely you amount to more than your gender.  Right?

(Yeah.)

Ok?  Hello, Gaye…how's everthing?  Ok, let's have questions, comments, etc.  We have talked about what is meant by the term self-knowing.  It's very simple.  We have talked about what is meant by the term of self-remembering, which somebody said that all you needed was the two keys (that wasn't me, I just read that in a book somewheres) but that does have the two most essential keys there is to ‘be-ing’.  One to see what you started out with and forgot all about – but lived by diligently without ever missin' a beat without ever thinking of it, without ever knowin’ about it until we pointed it out to you, right?  To show you what you were doin'.  And when you see that, you can see that that is… may have been the perfect purpose for a little child to have lived by, but it's out of place for you and me, ok?  And brings about nothin’ but constant chaos to some degree.  And we can see also by self-remembering that we can see what we are, where we are, what's goin’ on, what we can do and we have a brand new purpose of livin’ because what we can do is so simple; and you never have to think of it again, but you'll find you're doin’ it all the time – if you really see that.  Do you see that?

(Yes.)

Cold simple.  Could you have the purpose of tryin’ to be non-disturbed or is it one of these purposes you'd much prefer to have now?  How about you, Cici? 

(Well, I like being an invited guest.)

Well, that's what you are; now what's your purpose?  What are you gonna do?  What can you do after you are a privileged, invited quest here at this beautiful estate?

(Just enjoy the party.)

Well, you can enjoy the party, but you would like to say thank you too, wouldn't you? 
How would you go about that? 

(Uhhhh.)

Sure you're gonna enjoy the party; that's part of bein’ a good guest.  If I don't like the party, I'd be like so many of the guests here:  “I'm bitchin' because it rains too much or it don't rain enough and because you're here and because they're here and because that bunch of people's over here and because they made a little, some game they was playin' made a little dust down the street,” and I would really be carryin’ on, huh?  I sure wouldn't be being what you'd call a good guest at the party, would I?

(No.)

Can you imagine havin’ a guest that when some of ‘em went out to play, say tennis, that they started bitchin' about all that poppin' sound they was makin’ out there and disturbin' them and somebody else was playin' checkers and they was fussin' about sittin' there over that stupid board all day long and not bein’ out talkin' to people and some of the others were ridin' horses and they bitch because they were abusin' those poor horses for ridin' on ‘em. Would you want that guest around very long or would you have a tendency to send ‘em home?  Huh?

(Right.)

Well, you have observed that some people do or apparently are sent away from the party, is that right?  About half of ‘em to date, it says.  I kinda like it at the party.  I wanna be a good guest and stick around, hmm?  You have noticed that a lot's been sent away from the party, haven't you?  Huh?

(Yes.)

I like it here, myself.  Yes, Judy?

(When you talk about making a contribution to a harmonious mood, do you also think that we should make a contribution to the world?)

I didn't say that we should do either one.  I said it was simply I wanted to say thank you and it was my way of saying thank you.  I feel no obligation to do it at all.  If I did, I wouldn't do it.  I'd leave the party.

(It's a possibility, ok?  You could make a contribution.)

To the party.  I usually feel that my contributions are to the party and I don’t know what and so if one of the Host’s guests had a headache and I know how to relieve a headache and I relieve that guest's headache, I did it for the party, not for the guest that had the headache, ok? 

(Oh!) (she sounds surprised)

I did it for the Host.  Everything I do is for the Host.  I don't care… He invited you, I didn't. 

(Well, the Host is creation, then, right?)

Go ask him.  He's runnin' the party, that's all I know so he put the party on; if there was nobody at the party, it wouldn't be much of a party, would it?  Life is the Host.  So did Life create?  Apparently. You know what Life is?  I don't.

(No I don't know what it is.)

I don't either.  I can tell when it's there and when it's not, ok?  (laughter)  That's all I know about it, honey.  Right there.  It quits and I can see it does.  Yes, Marvin? 

(Sometimes I get associations by the way someone dresses or walks or somethin'… nothin' they did to affect me or anything, and still –)

You don't like 'em no more.  Right, I know.

(What do you think about....)

Well, they reminded you of somebody you didn't like and so “now equals then,” don't it?  This equals that.  I thought you had better mathematical sense than that, Marvin.  I thought your brother taught you better.  He taught you that two percent is when you double your money.  (laughter)  Buy it for a dollar, sell it for two dollars; you're working on two percent, man.  I thought you had better mathematics than that “now equals then” and “this equals that” and “he equals him” – long ago.  You see, I used to have a redheaded schoolteacher that was, uh, I didn't like.  And she didn't like me so nothin' I did was right to her and nothin' she did was right to me.  And for quite a long time I associated ever redhead with her until I met one super redhead and I got my mind changed and I’ve kept it changed ever since.  And I just love red hair.  It took me about 6 months to get that straightened around until I met a real cutie redhead.  And I wasn't about to associate her with that old gal that was always dislikin’ me.  ‘Cause she really liked me.  So I proved that all wrong.  So the next time you find somebody that just some way they're doin', you look and say, “Well the way they walk reminds me of so-and-so or the way they dress reminds me of so-and-so,” but that's not them, ok?  Now you remind me of one of my old Uncles, see?  (laughter)  But I sure don't confuse the two of you.  But you very much remind me of him.  I never did particularly like him either.  (laughter)  But I like you, Marvin, ok?  Yes?

(You say that once you’ve known this, you know it and you don't have to think about it any.)

No, you never bother with it; you just do it from there on. 

(Is there no possibility of going back to sleep?)

You can go to sleep and you can do it in your sleep.  All the time you were asleep you did this [he points to the Four Dual Basic Urges on the board], didn't you?

(Yeah.)

You struggled away; so it don't matter whether you're asleep.  Just once you really make up your purpose, that's it.  You don’t spend any–

(I understand that some of the other teachers suggest that we do experiments to learn this.  Is there any way of experimenting?)

Well… Yeah – try to forget it.  Try to forget this, will you please?  Try to put it out of your mind; don't ever think of it anymore.  (laughter) 

(Oh, wow…)

Don't ever think of that anymore.  Just go back and go on with your tryin’ your durndest to be non-disturbed, little one.  Work at it, will you?  Ok.  (laughter)  What are you laughin' about? 

(Nothing at all.)

This isn’t a laughable matter.  This is very serious.  [tongue-in-cheek]  

(I lost my head there for a minute.)  (laughter) 

Time out for tape thing.

(Ok.  Good.)  (she flips the cassette tape over) 

Ok?  Another question?  Yes?

(Would you define the difference between feelings and emotions?)

Feeling and what?

(Emotions.) 

All right, an emotion is a form of a feeling that you were never designed to have, ok?  Anger, guilt, fear, and insecurity.  You are not designed to have that feeling because you have to screw things up first.  So no allowance was made for it.  So when you have those feelings, they are extremely destructive to you.  They are a feeling; but all feelings are not emotions, only those which you were never designed, created to have.  Which are put in by having first developed us an ideal.  And then having an ideal you are frequently disappointed and when you are disappointed, you feel hurt.  When you feel hurt, you look for blame.  When you look for blame, you will find it was me and be angry, find it was yourself and feel guilty, or you can't find what to blame it on and it's fear.  And after you've been around that way many times, you begin to feel very insecure.  Yes?

(Would you clarify the statement that “we were not designed to have it”?)

Yeah, we never was equipped to have that feeling.  You were designed to have feelings of all sorts except those which are dependent upon first havin’ established some ideal before they could be even experienced.  You could not experience anger, guilt, fear, insecurity unless you had first set up (or all their many synonyms) unless you had first set up an ideal.  And you were, of course, not designed to set up an ideal.  [someone at the door asks a for moment]  Yes?  Be there in a minute.

(This thing about fear, is a lack of knowledge is part of it?  And also what about fear if we're in a situation where the body is placed in jeopardy –)

That's a startle, sir.  Fear is that thing you sit down here with, “And what if so-and-so happens?” and, “What if I can't make a livin’ next year?” and, “If I quit this job, what will happen to poor little me?” and etc.  And you can build you up some beauts and scare yourself to death with your own pictures.  Now, if you are severely challenged – we'll say you're out in the ocean in your little sailboat and the waves are rollin’ 60 feet high – you have a sense of urgency.  But you're not scared.  If you're scared, I don't wanna be on the boat with you.  (Laughter)

(Well, if you are scared and let's say you place your body in a very precarious position or it's been placed there for you – like in war or something – you're not defining that word as fear then, is that correct?)

That's true. 

(What do you use....)

I'm calling it an emergency.

(You're calling it an emergency.) 

You have a feeling of emergency.  And it's for real. 

(It's kind of hard to describe to somebody, “I'm having a feeling of emergency,” because they’re like –)

Well, I don't know… if they've ever had one they'll know what you're talkin’ about.

(Yes, that's true.)

Right.  Now fear is that grindin’ thing that I would say there is many people came here yesterday that had fear and there wasn't a one of ‘em that was in a state of emergency.  Did you have fear yesterday when you came in, love?  Huh?  Yes, Charlie?

(Well, at school, at boarding school in Canada, I'll have left my room and at night I'd sit in my room and I'd hear noises and suddenly I'd get really scared and I'd start imagining all, you know...)

That's what I said – you first imagine the noises and after you got the noises goin' you imagined the rest of it and scared yourself, is that right?

(Yeah, but I couldn't stop it.)

Why no, of course not, Charlie.  You couldn't stop it.  But you could start it though.  (laughter)  You got one half of it anyway.  You can start it Charlie; but you couldn't stop it.  Did you really have any urgency to stop it or did you just as soon it went on for a while? 

(What do you mean?)

Well, did you really have an urgency to stop it? 

(You mean, did...you mean…?)

You mean stop the scary feelings.  Naw, you didn’t.

(Naw... ‘cause I get really scared at –)

I know…you built you some pictures, paint you some horrible things.  What did these noises represent?  Tell me what you pictured would come runnin' by there if you had this noise that you heard a building creep a little bit.  Tell me about it.  What was gonna come out and get you, Charlie?

(I don't know.)

Well, yeah, you put some pretty good pictures up.  What did you put up?  You can't get scared of “I don't know.”

(Umm.  I'm not really sure.)

Well, you had a pretty good inkling on what you had there that you scared Charlie with.  You had to paint a picture for Charlie to get scared of a picture 'cause that's spacious.  [he knocks twice on the wall].  You're not scared of that. 

(No, ‘cause I can see it happening and...)

Well, let's say that [he turns his back to him and knocks again on the wall]. (laughter) 

(Yeah.  I don't know.  Um.  Oh, once I thought ‘cause in Canada, there's a lot of those big Eskimos?  And they look pretty scary.)

Eskimos.

(Eskimos.  They're really big.)

Yeah.

(And there’s one (unclear).  They were really scary looking.)

How come they're scary lookin'?  They looked to me like they had one head, two arms, two legs about like you and me.

(Yeah, I know.  I don't know; they just looked big like you wouldn't wanna mess around with 'em.)

Well, you weren't, were you?  You was stayin' in bed.

(Yeah.  Well yeah if you was imagining...)

So you imagined an Eskimo come to get you?  What in hell would an Eskimo want with you?  (laughter)  Did you ever wonder that, Charlie?  What would an Eskimo want with you?  Eat his fish, or...?  (laughter).  They don't eat people – hardly ever.  I admit you look like you'd be pretty good barbequed; but, you know, I’m really not up on that one.  Yes, sir?

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