A Marsha Summers Blog

Arizona Workshop #43 on Gratitude. 

[from Marsha — In this day and time, it seems we have been given so much that we have taken everything for granted. Seems businesses give us many choices touting “new and improved” trying to get us to buy. Who would ever have thought that a simple hamburger could get so complicated. So it seems that we feel we can have everything  just like we want it; and if we can’t, we get very upset and feel mistreated, misunderstood or denied by others thereby creating conflict, struggle and resistance either within ourselves or with others.  Here’s a simple beautiful story from the Arizona talk….]

“In this morning’s paper, there was an article about some people that lived in the city of Phoenix that are homeless. They’re living under an overpass, and they have no shelter except maybe they cover up with blankets and what-have-you.  They can build a fire out under the place where they can stay reasonably warm. Some reporters asked, “Where do you get your wood.” The gentlemen said, “If you don’t ask any questions, you will be told no lies”. But they had one picture of a little two-year-old girl who looked very happy. She had a big grin on her face and everything. She was stirring a pot of beans, which was being cooked on an open fire. I guess she was anticipating having some beans after a while, but possibly the little child hasn’t been in a situation where she could set up ideals yet.

So it seemed to be quite all right. She’s camping out and having a good time and she’s feeling all right, even though it had been cold weather for Phoenix–hot for most places. She’s living outside and has no home of any kind; but her parents are with her and she gets to stir the bean pot, so that’s quite all right.  Now maybe if she’s denied stirring the bean pot, she would be very unhappy, I don’t know. You see, whatever the person sets up as being the “ideal” can become an overpowering thing that makes you have a feeling of being sorry for yourself–feeling “deprived”, feeling “put upon”, “unhappy”, and whatever word you want to put on it.   

Definition of ideal from the dictionary

2. existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.

[from Marsha  — So perhaps it is of benefit to look at the ideals we live by and see the illusion of it’s being achieved.]

 From 7 & 8 of DC March 78

[from Marsha:

Growing up in this manmade world has been an ever unfolding adventure. As a teenager, I just knew happiness would be mine if I could drive. And when I could drive, then I wanted more freedom to do what I wanted to do with no sanctions from my father.

And then I went to work hoping for a better job, more income and a perfect mate who would give me security. And when I had a husband, home, and children then I became somewhat discontented with that and wanted something different. In the 60’s it was suggested that I should “to find myself”.  So what I had, I took for granted and that lead to greed of wanting to develop my potential – not saying that’s bad or good, just the suggestion of those days

Definition of greed from the internet

“Greed goes much further than money. A person can be greedy for money but also for fame, possessions, attention, compliments. It could be fun to make your own list. 

Happiness was evident at times, but only very temporarily.

And so as conflict and discontent grew, I was fortunate enough to start vocal lessons with a teacher who was familiar with the “teachings” of Dr. Bob Gibson: and I began using his 48 tapes one each week. One of the ideas he mentions is that we’ve always had what we need which is provided by the Host – X – God. 

But coming back to the “NOW” in 2020, I chose this subject for the blog because the covid scare is diminishing many of the things, events, and privileges we have taken for granted – even a simple hug.  It feels alien to me to see people with masks on; and it takes away from their personality, from communication and a sense of oneness as though we are all divided from each other and very alone. 

So I treasure this exercise of “looking at what I already have” in a very new and different situation.  It can bring about a sense of thankfulness instead of a forboding of “lack” – even if only for the moments we spend on it.]

And here’s the excerpt.

                From the workshop

 But the Host basically provides for me all the time and I can have tokens to play with because I’ll exchange with you okay?

Now when we see that fairly plain, do you not of necessity have to have another purpose of living – simply to be a good guest – you forget all about being nondisturbed because there’s nothing here to really disturb us anyway.  Why work at somethin’ so hard when you already have it – come to think of it.  You have food, clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting things to do, interesting people to be around, delightful other guests to play games with ever since you’ve been here haven’t you Barbara?

(Sure have.)

Now why work so hard to be nondisturbed when you already got it except you’re frettin about it.

So you see I can put an end to all this old purpose of living ‘cause I see I really already have it.  Don’t you Mr. Pinkous?  You already have it – you have food, clothing – everything that makes for a nondisturbed state.  You have food clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting things to do, interesting other guests to be around, right?

(Uh huh.)

So why work so hard to get something you’ve already got.  You see – only an infant has forgotten that he didn’t have something for a minute and so we still go on with that same habit runnin’.

Now that you have it, could you not make a contribution to the party we’ll say – just simply being a good guest.  I don’t know what’ you’d do.  I haven’t the foggiest.  My contribution probably’d be different that anybody else’s contribution – yours would be different than anybody else’s; but it’s worthwhile.  You see, the party’d get along if we didn’t make it anyway, Did you know that?

(Yeah.)

The party would get along just fine if I didn’t make the contribution.  So it only does something for me, it gives me a feeling that I can say thank you in some way or other.  Party’d get along anyway, wouldn’t it?

Now when we look at that, we’re bound to come up with a new purpose.  Now I said when we look at it – I didn’t say we’ve already looked at it, but I, at least, gave the place to look, okay?  The area in which to look; and you’re bound to see that if you look around a bit, that this is what’s actually goin’ on out here, okay?  And that all the other guests are doin’ what they feel’s right, proper and justifiable; and a lot of ‘em obviously don’t know where they are – they don’t’ know what they are, they don’t know what’s goin’ on here and they don’t know what they can do.   That’s true.  And you have even been a little extra privileged to get a chance to look at that, okay?  No sweat then.

Now if that be the case, then you could have a new purpose of living without any effort of makin’ it; and you could choose from a few possibilities how you want to put it to work.  That’s when we say it is consciously chosen because by looking at it as it really is, you’d have to have a new purpose of living, you just couldn’t keep from it, okay?  I didn’t say you could look at it this minute. It may take you several days lookin’ at it.  May take you one  minute and maybe you already have; but whatever it is, it’d come up a new one and essentially it would be some form that the only thing I can do here is be a good guest.

[from Marsha….From this little excerpt, I took a walk around the block to really take a look at what I already have.   I have food – plenty of it – maybe too much and I’m working on not eating all of it all the time because the body doesn’t need as much as is available.

I have plenty of clothing – it may not be brand names; but it is certainly fine for me and I can mix and match.   I can dress up when I go out because it feels good to me and it also makes the environment a little prettier.

In one of the workshops there was a woman who hated putting her makeup on in the morning. Dr. Bob suggested that she was beautifying  the environment. After that, she never had a problem and I adopted that idea also.

I have shelter.  It’s not an expensive house, but it fills all my needs and is just enough.   Also have a private fence in the back yard where I can have a garden and ponder with privacy. 

I may not be able to drive, but I have transportation to the places I really need to go.  May not get to go everywhere I want whenever I want, but it’s that way with everything in life.

I certainly have interesting people to be around; and they don’t fit my ideal of what people should be or should do; but it reminds me to do the work of the teachings and maybe experience agape (understanding) for each and every one.

And I have interesting things to do despite the blindness.   Yes, the things I can do are limited; and yes, they are sometimes very difficult to do; and yes with diminishing sight I need to keep looking for alternatives to seeing, but so far, I’ve been able to do that.

So when I think about making a contribution and/or be what, to me, is a good guest, I have found many opportunities – I keep tweaking the process each day. I think it’s a contribution to not try to change all these interesting people I’m around even though the temptation is great when I see them saying and doing things that may not be to their advantage.  Most times, they don’t want to hear my opinions; and they are on their own path. 

And there are the obvious contributions like playing piano on Zoom or telephone for sequestered friends. I can go on conference calls with other students of the teaching. I can learn new songs and develop piano skills and memorize words  even if I never get to use them for an audience. I have taken up creative cooking and planting a garden of vegetables and herbs (and I always felt I didn’t have a green thumb).My mind is challenged to come up with new ways to fill my needs for socialization. Once long ago after a bout with depression I experienced the idea of learning to be my own best friend.]

From workshop / Malibu 6/69

[From Marsha:  Have you ever been unable to make up your mind — felt catatonic?

       Here’s a definition from the dictionary.

2. characterized by a marked lack of movement, activity, or expression.

I have noticed at times when I’m unable to decide what to do that I’m in a catatonic state about a certain situation. I experience inner thoughts that say “do this or say this”; and then immediately there’s the diametrically opposed thoughts saying “No — do this or say this!”  I unconsciously base it on “doing the right thing” or want to express pure reaction that is often detrimental to and about the other person and not to my advantage.

So Dr. Bob gave a description of “what’s going on”  when this happens. So we begin with a question from the audience.]

(What happens when we have two “authority figures” giving directions on what to say or do; and they don’t agree?)

[For “Believe and do what my authorities say” is #4 in the picture of man which is illustrated on the website.]

Then it’s in conflict within itself; and if they are of equal strength — you can then have a catatonic — one who can’t move in either direction — they just sit.  You would like to get up and hit them because one authority figure said, “Knock ‘em down.”   And the other one said, “Love ‘em.”  The poor person is so tied up — he wants to knock ‘em down; but the other side says, “You must not because you got to love ‘em.”  So one sits there in tears. 

One of the things we find in very sensitive people is that they are taught, “You ought to love your enemies.”  And so they see him as their enemy — and they’re trying to love him too?  Now they believe him to be their enemy, but they’re trying to love?  This is an excellent way to produce a “catatonic”.  Okay? 

(You love and hate at the same time?)

What we are really saying is not to love your enemy, but to understand the enemy; and then he’s no longer your enemy — you see him as human being.  But you don’t look to understand him — understand that he’s conditioned and is unable to do anything other than what he’s doing.  In other words he’s doing what he sees is right, proper or justifiable.  It’s the only light he has.  It is all you can operate by also. 

But you continue to “believe and do” what you have taken on from some authority — to “love” them which is included in what we call *sentimental feelings”.  In other words, you’re thinking of this joker as someone you feel is going to stick a knife in your back if you get close enough to him — and so you truly think of him as an enemy.  You hate him for all he’s done to you, but you’re going to love him if it kills you — and I’ll tell you this — it jolly-well will.  I have been around people who are paralyzed with hatred for a neighbor or someone they are blaming.   This puts more people in hospitals than anything I know of — mental hospitals.

[From Marsha: I have discovered that at times I have found myself catatonic and was not conscious of it. Perhaps the first sign is I’m angry, frustrated or fearful of someone. The thinking mind won’t let go of it because a decision can’t be made of how I want to handle myself when I’m next involved with this person . The idea from this excerpt gives me a place to look.  If I discover which “authorities” I have accepted in the past, it gives me more understanding of what’s going on within me.

I even had a living example this week. I have company every Thursday. It started out as a fun, laughing, sharing thing; and we cooked dinner together. As time went on, it comes out that the person has many ideals in eating whether real or imagined, I can’t say — can’t have too much fat, can’t have fish because it’s too strong, can’t have brussel sprouts or cabbage because they’re gassy,  can’t have this, can’t have that and it has to be prepared in a certain way ie only romaine lettuce with no spine in the salad, only feta cheese, only certain spices that are the best.  I reached a place of intolerance and couldn’t decide how to handle being a gracious hostess. 

So I asked myself – what are the “authorities” fighting within.

One is from childhood – “You will eat what I fix or not have anything at all – just go to bed hungry.” – an old parenting strategy – A side became an accepted unconscious authority for handling finicky eaters.

Another one is – “If you come to “my” house and I cook, then eat it or bring your own”.  Truly an A-side comment. Seems I made up my own “authority” from the anger I felt or maybe I unconsciously took it on from a friend’s comment.

The other one sneaked in from the “pleaser” [see picture of man] “I should be understanding of and considerate of them and find out what they want and how they want it cooked; and do it that way.  So it is catatonic. It comes to “What can I do?” and at this moment I still have no answers. And of course, I can’t begin to know what I will feel, say or do this coming Thursday. I want to see it as not important – hum, easier said than done.  Dr. Bob talked about using simple good manners; so perhaps I’ll see if I can play the role of a gracious hostess despite the chatter in the mind.]

[from Marsha:  In these times of 2020 and the coronavirus with conflicting information from many sources about masks, social distancing, washing hands frequently, not touching face, fear of people coughing or sneezing, no hugging, no touching outside activities being safer than inside activities; and everyone in conflict about what’s “safe”. Seems they are accepting beliefs that are “logical to them” until necessity drives them out to do what they need and later want to do despite the constant warnings of illness and death.

And so I come across this little parable told by Dr. Bob in a workshop. It is interesting to contemplate.]

Building the tower for safety

Now I heard of a man who wasn’t free to have any discomfort occur to him, so he went out and put himself in the middle and began to build a tower. So he kept building it up and building it up; and he could see that danger could still come from above so he finally completely enclosed it over as a dome on top. He had lots of bricks and mortar inside. He completely closed it over. Now he couldn’t have any doors or windows in this thing because danger could come through those. So, of course, when he got it all sealed up, you can imagine that very shortly he used up all the air in there and he smothered…..

[from Marsha: This is only a physical parable that can be used to observe what goes on within mentally and emotionally.]

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burned biscuits.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides – a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!”

You know, life is full of imperfect things… and imperfect people. 
 I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I’ve learned over the  years is that learning to accept each others faults – and choosing to celebrate each others differences – is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. 

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket – keep it in your own.” So… please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine! And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life… I just did. Life is too short to wake up with regrets…

 Love the people who treat you right and forgive the ones who don’t. 

[From Marsha: I must say that I sure flunk often with the ability to compliment and approve of the people who treat me with kindness and generosity. I love reminders to look at that because there is so much suggestion to find fault and look for them to be even more to me.

And I also find it difficult to forgive those who are grumpy, angry and difficult to be around. It is up to me to see how I might put myself in their place, try to understand that maybe they’ve had a hard day, and in my present situation see that there is no way that they could possibly understand what it is to be blind or deaf or any other disability that is going on with people I happen to find myself around.]

From El Paso Workshop Sept. 1979

[from Marsha: Where does illness come from?

Somehow I never really thought about it and just depended on the opinion of doctors or others whom I accepted as older or wiser. Mostly I thought illness just happens and I had absolutely no control over it.  As I see it, the thinking has just been handed down from generation to generation with no scrutiny. I was pretty amazed when I happened to transcribe this particular workshop tape knowing that Dr. Bob had been a medical doctor for many years..  So here we go with the transcription. The El Paso workshop is on the website.]

So illness is suggested that some little entities up here floatin’ around is looking down on us like buzzards look on dead cows; and they see somebody and they say, “Well there’s Agnes, I’m gonna bite her.”  Now that was one called arthritis we’ll say.  Then there’s another one over there called measles; and there’s another one over there called somethin’ else; and they look down at us and say, “Well, I’m gonna bite him.”   Now that leaves you with what kind of a feeling?  Tell me about that.  What kind of an emotion do you have when you don’t know when illness is going to “strike you down”.  Would you have a certain anxiety about health? As you all have heard, cancer is rampant.  [noticing that this is 32 years later when the statement was made]

In 1947, I was practicing medicine in Illinois.  There’s a little town called New Carmel; and at that time, I got a monthly newsletter from the state medical society.  This particular month, I don’t remember exactly which month, but I know the year – 1947; and it said if we would contribute $10, the  state medical society would use it to promote us having more examinations for cancer than we were now having of which we had none.  There was nobody came in and said I think I got cancer because I found a lumpy here or whatever.  They just didn’t bother you (meaning the doctor) about that. 

So they said they would do this – and that that would bring us a minimum of ten extra examinations that year which at $10 each and can you even remember when the examinations were $10?

So this was done; and the second year you were to give them the $100 that was made extra; and from then on, they said the public would pay for the examinations. 

So they started promoting cancer in 1947 when an average of one out of a hundred people had cancer.  Now that is an exact statistic.  You can go back and look it up – don’t take my word for it, find out!  Average of one person per hundred had cancer in any form in 1947. 

But it got advertising going – not as printed advertising , but propaganda – suggestion poured at people.  It increased the number of people who became concerned about cancer by ten times the first year at least.  And that money was turned into the state medical society; and they took all of that; and since then the physician has only profited and never had to turn in because now/then the statistic says three out of four people will have cancer sometime during their lifetime; and that’s usually the last thing they have, you know – is three out of every four which is 25 percent from one out of a hundred which is 1% — seems like a rather successful suggestion trip, doesn’t it?

Now of course you know that cancer will strike most anybody anywhere; and also you know it’s caused by eating bacon, breathin’ air and now/then all beer except Coor’s.  Now Coors will not produce cancer; but all other brands of beer will now produce cancer if you drink it – it’s a carcegentic.  About anything and everything you touch is now carcegenic in some way or other, is that right?  So what does this kind of suggestion do – it produces anxiety. 

Now it has been demonstrated beyond most any reasonable doubt that anxiety will make you sick…period!  If it doesn’t make cancer, it’ll still make something else so the suggestion and anxiety is well done anyway – it works 100% if you are anxious.  Now is most of the anxiety that we experience – a great amount of it is due to suggestion. 

Now it’s very easy to find that if we took the healthiest person in here, we’ll say Tico and everybody met him today and said, “Tico, you look bad – you got a fever?  You feel bad?”  Have you had an examination lately?  You look terrible?  I haven’t seen you look this bad in all your life.  And if we kept that up on him; and he wasn’t aware of it, he’d be sick before long because you suggest him into being that way. 

Now suggestion as we said promises you either a great reward or threatens you with loss.  The ones that offer you great reward, you have a tendency to pass off, is that right Jim? They offer you some real big somethin’, but you have a tendency not to buy that one, is that right?

(Yeah, mainly because you start to doubt yourself and believe that they know more than you do.)

Right, that it’s not gonna work; and that there’s all kinds of obstructions; and more and more obstructions to that promise of  the real big somethin’.    

So there’s a lot of people who go around giving positive suggestion.  They don’t usually get very far; but the people who deal in negative suggestion, I’ve noticed, do a great job.

Now what this all comes about is that we have what’s called faith.  Now we have tremendous faith in catastrophe. (Audience reacts with lots of laughter).    We have tremendous faith in catastrophe.  Check yourself out and see?   You have very little faith in good fortune – check that out also? 

[from Marsha: Here in 2020 with the coronavirus there has been tremendous negative suggestion from the healing arts, politics and the news. We are bombarded with suggestion of the fear of death 24 hours a day. It is terrifying to see so many people all over the globe living in fear of illness and death. What to do? What to believe? Each claims to be an authority and the degrees of fear are alarming – it has created conflict beyond what any of us could possibly imagine.

It can be advantageous to go back to the website and research “the vicious cycle” and “the living cycle” and also how the body adapts to stress.]