A formula for making a suggestion:
1. Create desire by identifying need.
2. Set up a goal with the promise of being “better off”.
3. Show the method and how “easy it is”.
4. Act upon it and imply a guarantee.
Place of langrage in the teaching
Who’s in Charge of my Inner State?
It is only a suggestion when it promises you pleasure or comfort or when it threatens pain or discomfort of some sort.
Definition of Suggestion is an idea that creates expectation that something ideal or not ideal will happen in the future.
This idea was used on me yesterday. A man came to the door. I didn’t open the storm door, but asked him what he wanted.
He said his group was in the area checking people’s roof safety after the flood of nine months ago. He said they would check my roof absolutely free, take pictures which they could show me pictures of any damage and give a cost estimate for repairs.
I told him our insurance agency had already done that. He had some stupid answer for that.
I asked him the name of his company and he said Alex roofing.
I said I wasn’t interested and he said “Why”?
That was a red flag for me. Any “why” he asked would be the scorpion of a thousand tails. He says “why”, I give and explanation and he says it’s not correct, and the endless loop goes on until I, in exasperation, give in – what a waste of time.
But he kept at me and I finally said “I’m blind”.
He said, you’re not blind, you’re looking straight at me.
At this point I’d had enough and said, “Forget it!”
He had something to say to that too.
I replied, “Which word in forget it did you not understand” and he went away.
So he followed the formula:
1. He created a need (the flood probably did something bad to my roof.
2. He set up a goal that after he finished, I would be safe and thereby “better off”.
3. He said how easy it was and it was a “free” estimate.
4. He implied a guarantee that I would be prepared for the hurricane season coming up.
So Dr. Bob gave us this formula so we could recognize when it’s being used on us. It’s fun to recognize suggestion being used on us when we watch TV with the ads for big business. We can see it in the news with politics. And religion promises us heaven for “being good” and hell for “being bad, and they say they know what “good and bad” is. And finally the medical and pharmaceutical industries claim their diagnoses and pills will make us well. It is just a bit of wisdom to not swallow and believe what anyone or anything tells us and to check it out for ourselves.
And if we recognize this formula, we can also see when we are unconsciously using it on others.
I’ve seen myself listening to others and giving suggestion warnings of thing I truly don’t know a thing about but have read somewhere or heard somebody talk about having no personal experience. And even if I have, it has nothing to do with their present situation and I can’t know all that’s involved with it. What am I doing? I think I’m being helpful, but I’m only creating conflict, indecision and as I think about it – what if they do take my suggestion for a solution and it is totally inaccurate for their situation?