Talking Dolls Parable

[from Marsha: If you’ve ever started on the path of the teaching ideas and heard about complaining, sticking up for rights, pleasing, quoting authorities, blaming, self-improvement or trying to be different; and in that have observed those in self, you might have begun to think of them as entities because they certainly act that way. And when you try to stop them, escape them or ignore them, very often it seems like they are stronger than you are.   So you hear them over and over in your head. So here is yet another way to see them for what they are – they are not I’s – they are not you. Below is an excerpt from a workshop #113 where we’re given a little idea that might be nice to play with.]

Now anybody that has experienced conflict, and I believe we could safely say that that is all of us. We have judged that a thing should be a certain way; and when it wasn’t, we got our conditioned tools out — (not I’s from A-side) — to try to change whoever or whatever wasn’t the way ”it should be” into what we wanted. In other words, we felt we were capable of judging what is, and it ought not be that way.

Then as soon as we got that said and done, then all of a sudden we heard the “B side” of the picture of man (see website) with the methods to achieve that nondisturbance start hollering – The not I’s say, I got to be a good pleaser — then we decided that we ought to quote some authority we had chosen to believe or we put on a front or try to change ourselves into somebody that has more self determination, huh? Be assertive! We was tired of just being a door mat. And so we begin to struggle. We pushed over here and then they pushed over there; and that’s the conflict to and fro.  We resist what is and see it as bad.

Now what if you could just see, well there is an “acquired personality in me” that wants to do it this way, but I’m not subject to it – I don’t have to do it’s bidding, it’s just hollering.

There’s a lot of ladies have indulged in making little craft items for sale; and so you could gather or if you’re crafty, make a bunch of talking dolls, and sit them on the kitchen table. mantle or somewhere where you see them. They can remind you that they all talk in opposites – all the time! Would you have to go by and/or do everything those talking dolls you made this afternoon told you to do?

(No.)

You wouldn’t pay a bit of attention in the world, is that right? So you see that as soon as we recognize that these are ”acquired, self created little personalities” that we have, we absolultely pay no attention to them.

So when we see what a not I is, those are little dolls that we made huh? We materialized them out of nothing one day long ago; and maybe set them on our shoulder – three on one side, and three on the other and a little chooser on top of our head that listens to one side and then the other, so they talk and talk in our heads and we’ve been listening to them ever since, huh? And they’re still there since you acquired them.   So they are constantly giving orders. They’re all yakkin’ away. Did you create those little dolls?

(I guess I did.)

Are they all homemade little gadgets, huh? Is there any rhyme or reason to do what those dolls that you made say to do – have you any reason to be subject to them sir?

(I don’t have to be.)

They’re little dolls that each of us make, huh? That’s what conditioning is is a bunch of little dolls that all holler. We taught ‘em to talk. We put the programing in; and they talk. Now are you subject to conditioning or the little dolls? Are you subject to them when you see they’re little dolls that lie and tell you what you “should do” or what somebody else “should do” or how “circumstances should be” or how to get what you want right now! If you don’t recognize them as not being you, then you think that is ”I tellin’ myself” this, but instead it’s one of the little dolls – soon as you see it’s a doll you no longer feel subject to it.So the discovery that we can make is what?   That we can see these little things as what they are – all things which I created and made talk. I materialized ‘em, set ‘em up, put ‘em on each shoulder so they’d talk. And it is really that they’re not I, not you. So we could call it conditioning. We can call it devils. We can call it little dolls or demons or whatever you want to, it’s still something you made, is that right?

Now once you see that that’s what it is, could you be objective to not pay any attention to it anymore.

(I guess.)

You could do that right now – is all of this stuff “you” or is this all acquired?

(Acquired.)

See, that wasn’t you at all. You acquired the ability to complain because you hoped it would be a way to “get something” and then you set it off like it was you. It says I. Did you acquire the thing, the idea about sticking up for right?

(Right.)

Did you acquire the idea very definitely of pleasing everybody. Did you acquire the idea that it was correct to believe and do what you’re told by you authorities. Did you acquire the idea or make a little doll or piece of conditioning that says you ought’a be different – the self improvement bit. Did you create, define, or agree to the idea that you were perfectly capable of judging everything? That’s a little idea, isn’t it? It’s a little old thing.

Once you see that you created these and then forgot you created ‘em, they keep on operating. They’re still little dolls sittin’ on your shoulder, right? Could you be subject to them any longer? Cause what are they – things you made yourself, is that right – whether you call it conditioning or whether you call it a little devil or a demon. And once we see that, we’re bound to be somewhat more objective.

[from Marsha: It might be fun to find or make these little dolls and put them somewhere with their respective names and attribute to them what the ones inside you are saying – what a wonderful way to disidentify. Further, couldn’t this be a really fun way to play a game and bring the not I’s to a physical level because it’s been said that they can’t stand the “light” being put on them.   They can’t stand to be laughed at.   With the dolls, we can maybe point an laugh and see their diabolical schemes to create misery, conflict and struggle in our lives.]

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Inferior to different #113

[From Marsha:   I’ve had a long-time habit of listening to other piano players and thinking this one is better than me or I’m better than that one.   Always comparing.   It is a tenant of the teaching to drop comparing.     It’s valuable when shopping, but not in the case of comparing people, talent and skills.

Here is the idea of comparing expanded in a workshop.]

You know we have more “dreams” in the daytime that we have at night because we get more involved with them; and they’re experienced purely in the “subjective” state.

Now man’s dreams, of course, are based upon his desires from this first decision — always wants to gain pleasure and comfort and escape pain, needing attention and to escape being ignored or rejected; and he wants to gain approval and to escape disapproval. He wants to gain a sense of being important or special and to escape the sense of being inferior. Now all of those, of course are illusions too. They’re all things that one only senses.

(What’s that last one?)

This one here? Being important or special and escape the sense of feeling inferior or incapable.

Okay, so man dreams. First off, he dreams that he will try to be superior here. He starts off feeling inferior after birth because he compares himself with his parents. As a little kid, he couldn’t reach the top shelves and get things that he wanted. They hid things from him. So actually that’s where you began to feel inferior.

Now when one begins to feel inferior, one usually trys to adapt to it by getting some way that you can feel superior. You find yourself feeling inferior; and you try to convince yourself in some way that you are superior, is that right?

(Don’t you try to do something to prove that you are superior.)

Well that’s the next step. First off you just assume you are – you start dreaming that you’re superior; and then you try to do something that says that you are; and it always seems to be that there is some obstruction to it.

So then we feel we’re persecuted. Somebody’s picking on me. If it wasn’t for her – I’d get along just fine. I’ve had many a man tell me, “Well if it wasn’t for my wife, I’d’a really got ahead, but she just drags me down all the time”. And I’ve had many a lady say, well if it wasn’t for the husband and children, I could have written great books and great poems; and I could’ve painted great pictures and all these good things. And so another person said, if it hadn’t a been for this particular system that’s in operation, meaning society, why I’da been getting’ along great. So the persecution sits in them and then, of course, we hate that which we feel obstructed us – is that right? We have a sense of hate for whatever — we blame..

And then when I hate something, I can’t dispose of it, so I begin to feel inferior; and then around and around it goes; and this is one lovely little wheel that we can get hung up on when we dream of all this; and that creates many great problems, doesn’t it?   Do you live with it about every day in the week?

(You just keep goin’ around and around.)

Round and around, round and round and gradually but perfectly deteriorating; and in 60 or 70 years, you usually wipe it out.

(That’s when you die.)

Yeah, in one way or the other.

Is this illusion all the way around – something you can identify with?   Are you inferior or superior to anybody in the world or just different.

(Different.)

We all stand in different places, so we’re just different. And when you really look at it, isn’t that a perfectly designed world? Can you imagine if everybody had the talent of math; but couldn’t write books or everybody could invent machines but nobody could manage a business?

So there is no price that you could conceive of because you’re totally unique, right? And we could get that down to see that there is no one we need compare ourselves to.

So when we are doing all this comparing, we can remember that there is no two of us alike.   So the exercise is to drop the idea of comparing – comparing me to you, one child to the sibling, and one friend to the other.   Then I can just BE myself and do what I do best.  I can be content with me the way I am and not expect everyone else to fit some ideal I’ve dreamed up for them or try to make myself into some ideal picture I have in my mind for me.  And what is that ideal, picture and certainly an illusion based on anyway?

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Let it float on by from #113

[From Marsha….Often I find myself in conversations which may begin companionable and then some difference of opinion or conclusion arises and the conflict begins.   I can easily get caught in trying to convince someone that I’m “right” and at the end of the conversation, I haven’t convinced him and he hasn’t convinced me.   The thinking in each of us doesn’t change one iota, so what’s the point of tearing myself up in the effort.  A change in topic can make for a more congenial time together.]

Here’s an exercise from a workshop that certainly is challenging, but certainly can make for more harmonious relationships both within and without.[ Here we go:

Do you see what it means to awaken – to wake up. It means to go into another state of being which is not subjective – to be purely objective is to be fully awake. To be subjective is just a little more awake than being in a “dream sleep” — most of us have a lot of those – day dreams, night dreams etc.

Now where would you like to go on that? You wanna stay in the dreams and dream all these beautiful dreams about all the rewards you’re gonna get for being good, and all these horrible punishments the people you don’t like’s gonna get for being bad? Or do you wanna wake up?

(Wake up.)

Good.   And if you do, then you see all these thoughts and ideals and dreams as what? – fantasies, and you refuse to get involved with them, you just see them without trying to change them, without judging them or without struggling with them in any way. And they go away. It’s like standing on the bank of a flowing river and an old inner tube comes floating on down. Do you think “Oh that would sure ruin the appearance of the river — I’ve gotta fix that” and so you wade out there in the water because you just know it’s the “right thing to do” and get yourself tangled in the mud and maybe be pulled into the undertoe and get drowned, or do you just “let it go.” – “let it float on by.”

If you can let it go, it just floats on down the river, is that right? And isn’t this just about the way thoughts and ideas and ideals come through the head? They’ll go on down the “transient stream of the mind” if we’ll just let ‘em alone.   But instead when something comes, we grab it or we blame it and say it grabbed us, huh?   So did the old inner tube only come to pass?   Have you ever noticed that thoughts just float on by and then you don’t get caught fighting with them. They goes on by. Thank goodness, huh?

And isn’t this the way of everything. Somebody comes in and is all mad and pushed out of shape; and if you just don’t pay any attention to them, what happens to their anger in just a few minutes? It just flows on. It just went on down the river, right? But if you start defending or trying to “fix”, what happens then?     Thoughts are like a river and it just flows. Each person is full of all these conditionings – the thoughts, the ought to be’s, the opinions and conclusions.  it’s just a river, so what difference does it make what comes by – it flows on in a few minutes if you don’t try to reason with it.   So when you’re seeing that it is just things flowing by, are you a little more awake than you are when you jump out there and grab on to that old rubber tire, or some thought you don’t like? You see what to do – just let it go by, okay? Direct your attention somewhere else – perhaps something that uses the mind in a creative way.

(Most of that river is sewage.)

Well it’s got sewage in it, yeah, but you don’t have to hop in it, do you?   You don’t have to get in it.

I read a story one time about a man who lived on the bank of a river and he got kind of short of funds.   So he decided he would appeal to higher powers and he prayed for food. So everyday he saw a big block of something come down the river; and he went out and got it – to him it was a delicacy – maybe a pastry or a candy-type thing. The next day at the same time, more came down. So he’d eat that; and the next day more would come again. This went on for many months — being graciously provided for by these foods. And of course, he felt that he had greatly advanced into the states of the powers of the invisible world.

But one day he decided he’d see how they produced it. So he travelled up the river. First day all that happened is he found the food earlier in the day because he was further up the river. The next day he got even still farther – the river got smaller, but here come the food which would have been down the river at the same time. The third day, he discovered there was a castle built on a little island in the river; and he found that this food was clunkin’ out the side of the castle.

So he went into the castle to see what was going on; and he found that the lady threw away her bath soap every day when she finished taking her bath.   He had felt this was great stuff, you know.   So it all depends on how you see it. What was trash to her was manna to him.

So it seems that you can look at trash and be deluded into thinking that it’s manna; however, we can wake up and see that we’re ingesting a lot of trash from our thoughts. Being awake is to be objective about all the thoughts and suggestions that come to us from within and without, huh?   When we are subjective, what is our inner state of being at that point?

I think it’s to my advantage to let the sewage go on down the river.   Some of it we put fancy names on like “I have a right” or “it oughta be like this” or “she ought to know better” – like the man’s manna from heaven was really somebody else’s sewage, wasn’t it?

So if a thought comes by, is it necessarily to latch onto it? Maybe we could see it as neither “good” or “bad” — why even define it. Maybe we can see the fantasy.

(Dr. Bob, I can’t imagine anybody eating soap and seeing it as manna. What does the soap represent. )

You have made or created many ideals of what ought to be, is that right?

(Yes.)

(Well Dr. Bob – nevertheless if he was partaking of this food – well he considered it food – will that keep him alive?)

It didn’t keep him alive, he kept himself alive with soap.

(Soap rather. He didn’t think it was soap, he thought it was real food.)

Oh yeah, and after he found out where it came from he couldn’t eat it anymore – and that can be applied to the not I’s that float into the thoughts through association.

I’ve read in many esoteric literatures where it says judge not lest all sorts of havoc come upon you, is that right?

(Well the not I’s judge so fast; and they’re so strong ..)

Yeah, while you’re asleep – sure – you judge; but if you were awake you wouldn’t. Now you have a reason for waking up? You see the minute I see a reason for waking up, I do. If I’m going to work at 6:00 in the morning, I see a reason of waking up just before 6 am. If I’m not gonna work until 9, I don’t see any use of waking up at 6 am, huh?

(I have a lot of reasons for waking up, I know that.

And one of them would be that you’re subject to many thoughts and suggestions, is that right? That you obviously would not be subject to if you were awake. You wanna be a subject to all that turmoil or do you want to be awake?

(I wanna be awake.)

Okay. Then if you’re purely objective nothing has dominion over you. Do you give things the authority to annoy you?

(Yes I do.)

And is it pleasant to you or aid you or is it just a bad dream you’re having – a dream you don’t like. The remedy is to wake up. You wanna wake up?

[from Marsha:   In working with this idea, I discovered that I think I know what the motivation is for someone’s behavior near to me; but when I asked, the motivation was completely different and I was completely wrong.   It certainly changed my attitude when I found the motivation they were using.   And Dr. Bob has often said, we don’t even know all the motivations we have for what we say and do moment to moment. In this case we can possibly remember to let those thoughts float on by and put them in the “I don’t know” department.   That’s certainly more objective than thinking they meant something derogatory. Just another little exercise to wake up to what’s going on.]

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Be of good cheer 110

[from Marsha.   Only time I’ve ever heard the statement “be of good cheer” was in some Christmas song.   What is it that cheerleaders do?   How could we apply that to our everyday life?]

The dictionary says:

Noun 1. shout of encouragement, praise, or joy.

  1. cheerfulness, optimism, or confidence.

From #110 at a workshop our teacher described the ‘dream state’ or ‘sleep state’ as when we just react mechanically to stimuli; and if it’s something we don’t like, we try to get rid of it and if it’s something we do like, we try to hang on to it by methods appropriate for a child but not an adult.   See website and picture of man for the methods……

Here begins the ideas:

And if you wake up out of your “dream state” long enough to consciously be awake enough, you could have your inner feeling rather optimum. The most optimum inner feeling I like best is laughin’.   See the joke.   And the best joke I see is the one I played on myself for a long long time.   And if one sees the joke; one, of course, is not making anything very important – is not dead serious which most everybody is. You know getting someone to smile sometimes is like pullin’ teeth.

So you see that our inner feeling can be optimum when we see the joke in things. How would your nutrition get along?   There has been many tests run that if you’re eating when you’re sad and/or anxious, that all the digestive juices don’t work – the food just lays there and rots. And, of course, no matter how good a food was when you dropped it in there, it lays and decays because you’re sad, angry or anxious and pourin’ something other than digestive juices on it, so it rots. And rotten expensive food is just as rotten as cheap stuff, right?

And there is other indications that when you’re enjoying yourself, havin’ a ball, seeing the joke in things that the digestive juices are rollin’ freely and it digests the food, cleans up the whole deal. So the optimum of nutrition is not only the food but also the inner feeling of the person that eats it, right?   But if you can see a wonderful time, seeing the joke as you look at “what’s goin’ on” or “what you’re doing” and having a ball observing those, then the food digests. We have a little statement around the place that says the food tastes good when it is prepared with TLC – that is the best seasoning there is with it – “tender loving care” because we’re enjoying cooking and eating it.

Missy Diane cooked lunch the other day and she said nobody would eat it because she was all pushed out of shape when she cooked it. It smelled awful. And she finally went and threw it in the garbage pail. She said she would never even offer to serve it again because she was “pushed out of shape” about something when she cooked it; and it obviously wasn’t very appetizing. And she is a wonderful cook — has the technical know how and prepares beautiful meals, but this one particular moment, she had her buttons pushed somewheres – some little thing she wanted to look at; and that meal was no great shakes. But any meal that’s prepared with TLC and served likewise, why you keep things goin’.

I used to pay a “chameleon” (a woman at the front desk) to work in my medical office when I did general practice. She was a tall skinny gal that most people wouldn’t consider very attractive; but she was an expert chameleon at seeing the joke in things (harmless jokes, not like the caustic humor on TV sit coms). And when people walked in, she kept the reception room constantly in laughter; and there was 14 chairs and then some additional chairs startin’ out in the hall; and they were usually full. We were movin’ people pretty rapidly; and there was never anybody that was really feelin’ badly when they got into the private office because they already had a good laugh and were feelin’ pretty good.

There was one guy came in said I thought I was in a doctor’s office – there’s a bunch of people out there that are laughin’ and nobody’s sick here. I said, naturally that’s what it’s here for — a doctor’s office is to get people well. Well, he didn’t see the joke so he didn’t stay.  There was another guy who noticed the wonderful mood in the place and commented when he got into my office.   He said, “Well, everybody’s so happy, do I have to pay?”   I said, “You’d better believe it!”

So when you can really enjoy yourself and laugh, you are feelin’ pretty good. And when you’re stressed you’re pretty well out of shape – you can’t feel real tense and up tight while you’re laughin’. Did you ever try it?

But you see, there is a little order out that you shouldn’t laugh because that way you’re not taking things seriously. I’ve even heard it said that laughter is the work of the devil.

But the great teacher said “be of good cheer – and in nothing be anxious”. Is that in the Holy Scripture? That’s another one of the things about going along with “judge not”. In nothing be anxious; and “be of good cheer”. What is good cheer? Is that sittin’ around with a long face moanin’ and worryin’ and whimperin’ and mumblin’ in your beer when your talkin’?

So break out with joy, be of good cheer and in nothing be anxious – judge not and be awake. All these go all along pretty well together ‘cause if you’re awake, I’ll guarantee you, you’ll be of good cheer ‘cause there’s so many unbelievable jokes going on, and you’re the biggest one. Can you see that sir?

(Maybe.)

So as an exercise, we’re not gonna keep these commandments (that we’ve heard and read about through the years) for this week. We’re gonna go directly opposed to them. We’re going to make everthing serious like we’ve been doing all the time anyway, only we reacted and did them unconsciously.   We’re gonna worry and fret – we’re gonna stay asleep and do everything mechanically.   We’re gonna make everything important and find out the cause of it – what we can blame it on, okay? And we obviously are not gonna be of good cheer.

If you really break out laughin’, you feel kind of guilty about it, don’t you? Especially when everybody is all seriousness around you.

In nothing be anxious, but we’ve been anxious about the kids, the family, the automobile, the finances, the food, the doctor and about this and that. What have you not been anxious about this week? Tell me one thing you weren’t anxious about last week.   So this week we’re gonna deliberately follow it the way we have been all along these many years; and next week you might find it’ll be a little easier to be of good cheer.

I get calls all day long every day. The “stuff” that pours through my telephone wire didn’t sound like good cheer – stopped up the septic tank and run all over the floor and had to tear up the carpet to clean it up.   Is that like bein’ of good cheer? I won’t buy any of it.

How about you Esther?

(I’ve been pretty anxious.)

And when you was anxious, you was lookin to see how to get out of bein’ anxious, so you were judging something.

(I was judging, yes. I was sound asleep.)

Sound asleep or you wouldn’t have been making anything important, is that right? So you haven’t been much of a follower of the teachings in the last few days, is that it? So you’re deliberately not gonna follow the teachings this week, okay?

(Okay.)

Oh good, have fun.

[from Marsha: If we look at that word “cheer”, how could we express it both to ourselves and others.   So if we take the idea of “How do I want to feel, and “think” of the word “cheer”.   Then how would or could I act out the word “cheer”? Then after 30 minutes of acting it out, I will feel it and be able to express it.   When I observe someone who’s cheerful, what do they do? How is their face? What do they say?   What a nice exercise to experiment with through this very day.]

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“Judge not” #110

Do you judge? Do you see value in judging?

Do you think judging changes things?

What do you judge?

Is there different forms of judging

The dictionary says:

Verb: To form an opinion or conclusion about.

And where do those opinions and conclusions come from?

(It could be enlightening and fun to check out other discriptions of judging from the dictionary.)

I have heard that when we judge, we curse ourselves? What might that mean? (One person interpreted it as wishing bad things for someone who had hurt them.

Here is an excerpt on “judge not” from a workshop.

Now the great teacher that lived many years ago said if we loved Him, we would keep His commandments, but we haven’t paid much attention to that.   And along with ‘judge not” was the second most frequently repeated statement, to “watch” which is a word that would possibly be more accurately translated as “to awaken” – awake or watch.

When we find ourselves disturbed or, shall we say, getting emotional, the first thing we do is look for blame.  Prior to blame, we “made something important” which really says I judge this as being more important than something else. I react in a millisecond and so begins the process of judging.   I’ve got “to do something about it” and “this must be changed right now!“ All this is done mechanically in a “sleep state”.   Somewhere in the mind is a long established “belief” or an “ideal” of “what ought to be.”

We react with a complaint or blaming or judging because we think “they or it will change”. That reaction began mechanically to be a habit when we were little babies.   It worked then, but is about the last way to get “our way” today in our grown up bodies. We are still judging and trying to change things — “I’ve got to have this thing or this sensation sensation; and this one I don’t want.

So are we judging constantly?   Is our judging just mechanical efforts, totally unknown, totally unconscious, — are we, then, just a machine? We left the brain and intelligence somewhere while we were reacting to stimuli we judge as “bad”. The machine is like a car going somewhere without a driver. There is no understanding whatsoever.

So first we are judgers. We judge; and therefore, set up the state of opposites – what does it start from? — the first belief established at birth that the whole purpose of living was to regain the nondisturbed state – the state we had just before left the comfort of the womb where everything was provided with no effort on our part.

Now we’ve never reevaluated that decision made at birth – never really knew it existed, and so we judge. It’s a constant struggle to be totally nondisturbed. Every challenge is seen as a threat – “how can I get it away, it’s bad” – the judging goes on morning, noon and night in our sound sleep state.

Now obviously, as long as this judging is in there, that’s pretty prime information to know about going on within. We can possibly awaken to ask “what am I’m doing”? We observed a person the other day who received a letter on pink ruled tablet paper and got all pushed out of shape.

Most of us think we’re not making things important. Do you realize you make things important all day long? Are you conscious of doing it while you’re doing it? No, but in restrospect you see, “Oh yes, I made that important.”   But you’re unaware of it until later, is that right?

Right. So there is a very few, He said, who would find “the way” which is to be conscious of what we’re doing: but we want to do it mechanically. What is the constant cry? “Tell me what’s the right thing to do; and I’ll do it?” “Give me some teaching so I can establish a new belief; and then I can do it mechanically. But what difference does it make if a machine does it? The greatest computer in the world is still just a machine; and about the same value as a dollar watch when it comes to consciousness except the computer does different works – both are mechanical. So when it’s mechanical, there is no human being there – he’s gone to a “sleep state” and and lets the machine operate.

Now an awakened individual obviously wouldn’t make important “what you do or say or don’t do or say” because it really doesn’t matter. One wouldn’t make it important what somebody in one’s household says or does – what difference does it make, it goes away in a very short time. If you don’t like it, just wait a minute, it’ll be different. You can develop ways of directing the potential difficulty to another subject or just leaving it without comment.   In other words, letting go – it just isn’t that important.   We only argue about opinions, beliefs and conclusions, not facts.

So “what’s going on” is what we could call a “transient stream flowing through the mind. When one is awake and watching, one has no desire to make anything in that “stream” important. But if you have that first belief that we all established ,that the whole purpose of living is to be nondisturbed, then anything that’s in the “stream” could potentially be a disturber sooner rather than later. So then I’ve already judged it as “bad”, as a “threat”; and I begin to struggle with it right now.

Some say “Oh I judged then, I was so bad, and that was only in my younger days”.  Consequently, we kid ourselves when we say, “Now I don’t judge anymore.”   Now is the time we are in – the present moment – there is only now.   If I’m unaware of judging now, am I conscious? Do we judge “in the now” and only be conscious of it at some future time if I just happen to look back at it. Is that about the way it works?   But have we paid any attention to our judging in the now. Are we awake at this moment to see what I’m doing now? How about that?

Was your last week full of a lot of important things to do at that moment? And were you anxious a great deal of the time as you looked back on it?

(Yes.)

Now what was it about – important things wasn’t it? You never get anxious about things that aren’t important, do you? Is it important what people say to me — what people do? Is it important how much money I had to spend for groceries? And I hear one of those potatoes was rotten too, huh? You got all torn up about a rotten potato I’ve noticed?

(Yeah. They’re pretty stinkin’.)

Yeah, terrible isn’t it? Bad, bad, bad. So we go around constantly in our “sound sleep” judging mechanically – click, click, click, click, click; and then the next moment we say how much we love all the great teachings and the teacher too, huh? But we demonstrate that we haven’t even paid the slightest attention to the teachings.   Somebody told us if we say these words — you know, make an affirmation and then we’ll be happy and it’ll all just happen, so I say the words how? – mechanically.

One time I worked in a lab where we had a brainwave machine – you know, one of these things you hook around on here; and it makes little waves on a chart. It shows how your brain’s working. We had this thing working in a grounded shielded booth so there would be no external radio waves or anything to interfere with it.

We had an Archbishop in the Roman Catholic church was one of the patients we were working with one day, so we had him to multiply some numbers like 393 by 16 and it made some pretty good jiggles on the chart.   And then the man that was operating it – (it wasn’t me, I was just the technician in there holding wires), said to the Archbishop, “Would you say the Our Father and two Hail Mary’s please?   So he rattled them off.   When he got through the technician of the machine walked over to him and said, “Bishop, I hate to tell you this, but your prayers didn’t even get out of this booth.” “They didn’t make a squiggle on the machine.   So the mechanical way of rattling off the words did not register on the brainwave machine.

(Did he laugh?)

Who, the archbishop? No. I did, but you know I’m always seeing something as funny. He didn’t laugh at all – he didn’t think that was appropriate – it was very undignified.

But judging is our prime business, is that about right? Now suppose that I give a little exercise. Everbody says they wanna be awake. They have even asked me, “Bob, wake us up.” So I’ll give the shake now. That is that this week, you will judge consciously everything that you come in contact with at that moment – you will judge it. Now you’ve apparently been doing it pretty consistently and unconsciously as you look back in retrospect, but you didn’t do it consciously at the moment because you don’t judge consciously. If you judged it as bad then you have first made it important — very important; and you try to figure a way to change it or some person into something “good” –something that fits your ideal — something you approve of, is that right? Then you discover that you’re in a state of struggle and you resist what is – you stay in conflict as long as it’s not the way you want it. – is that correct?

So let’s say that number one, we will consciously judge everything. In other words we will consciously sin for a change. You’re gonna sin, do it consciously, man, get all the mileage you can out of it. Don’t just go around in your sleep doin’ it – sleep walkers don’t get no mileage out of their sinnin’. So consciously judge. Consciously make everything very important “which is to judge it” i had to judge it from something I made important. So I have to judge whether it’s good or bad; and then I can consciously be caught up in the opposites.   That makes me double minded okay? How can you expect anything if you’re trying to go in two directions at once.   So you keep on doing it deliberately and on purpose or, shall we say, consciously because, you see, you can’t keep on doing it when you discover that it isn’t justified that there really is no understanding of the total picture.   When you’ve awakened, you can’t keep doing it. Try it as much as you like.   So we’re really not conscious except in retrospect that I made something important.

So for this week in order to be awake, I’m gonna judge everything as very important first, huh? That’ll set it up. I wanna make it important; and then I’m gonna see whether it’s good or bad; and if I judge it as “good”, I’m gonna work desperately to hang onto it; and if I judge it as “bad”, I’m gonna work desperately to make it go away, okay?   Now that would be beginning to look at this first idea of the teachings a little bit; and would that be waking up just a little bit? In retrospect, we look back and say we’ve judged and made everything important, and we wind up full of anxieties, chewin’ our fingernails off to taking gobs of tranquilizers and other good remedies. And then we wonder why our stomachs are upset. Why we have headaches. Why we have backaches and why we’re falling apart at the seams — my skin’s saggin’ and all this because after all I’m very “good” you know. We even judge that as a belief. We’ve been influenced with that saying that “only good people get sick — those old reprobates don’t ever get sick”. Did you ever hear that? So we will make things important, we’ll be anxious, but we will be consciously anxious; and we will consciously judge everything; and we will consciously be in a state of opposites; and we will consciously know we need expect nothing because we are in conflict, struggle and resisting “what is”.

[From Marsha…

When working with this exercise, the question came up as to whether he was talking about expressing it outwardly or not. I can express it outwardly with no one around similar to when I did the exercise of working off anger by beating a towel against the sofa when I was alone and going through all the anger statements.

But if we judge others openly, I think we would not only experience lots of arguments and defenses; but also a lot of disapproval and rejection which probably isn’t to my advantage in the long run – either at home or at work.  People don’t want to do things for me when I constantly judge them.

When I questioned how judging someone is a curse for me, I observed others and myself.   In the first place I don’t feel so good inside when I judge and that makes it hard to keep my mood up – I begin to make it important to not be around them and that’s all I see of them – I don’t see the whole person and all the valued aspects of them. Therefore I am tempted to cut myself off.   If, instead, I have looked at the complete person as they are each time I see them, (be knowing them moment to moment) often the judgement melts away.   And from working with that idea, I have developed some wonderful relationships that were to my advantage in many ways – skills, recommendations, rides (because I can’t drive), financial help, new relatonships both in friends and work and on and on.

I’ve have heard an idea that helps me to discern who I want to be with and who I don’t want to be with – is that judging?   Maybe.   But there are many people invited to this earth party. Some I will want to be around a lot and some I won’t. It doesn’t make those that I don’t want to be around bad or wrong – it just means that either we see things differently or we just don’t have anything in common, so I let them pass on through my life.

I also have noticed that when somebody judges me, first off I feel compelled to defend myself which goes nowhere. They just bring up better arguments to either put me down or try to change me.   I also find that I feel a need to please them and either do or not do whatever they judged me for.   But when they’re gone, what do I do then?   Can you guess?

And we can also see whether it’s of value to judge myself. Do I change or do I only become double minded trying to go in two directions at once. I describe the opposites as “do what I want to do” verses “do what I think I should do or ought to do”.   Seems like the result of that conflict is to “feel bad about myself” which goes into guilt and/or self pity. Does that have any value?   Do I change or do I just create a vicious cycle that continues on and on.

Do I make it important and judge others who are judging?   Do I kid myself that only I can judge because I do it “justly.”   Does that leave me in a peaceful state with an ability to keep the mood up?

And another judgement I observe is when it is made important that everyone have the same personal taste that I have.   I happen to like jazz and others like rap.   They just have a different personal taste from mine; and if I see that, then I can just “let it be” without getting all emotional about it. If they don’t like jazz, so what – what difference does it make?

So this is certainly a worthwhile exercise to use and discover what it has to offer for each of us.]

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What about Attention and Approval (from Half Moon Bay)

[From Marsha: Two aspects of the gain side of the four dual basic urges (see website) which began at the time of birth is that of “I want to gain attention.” and “I want to gain approval”   I have heard the statement that we need attention to survive and approval to thrive.   In observing myself after a few days of being housebound, I would say that there is a certain amount of it that is necessary; but I’ve never measured how much I get or whether it’s really necessary or not.. And so here is a little excerpt from a workshop on that subject……]

A question from the audience……….

(So how much attention or approval – – I mean how much of that do we need. How little……)

How much attention and approval do you need? Well, why don’t you give it to yourself for what you require. You know, I figure nobody knows how wonderful I am as much as I do. I know that those people who disapprove of me just got poor taste; and so I’m going on about my business. Do you know how much you would need to give yourself? You see in the ultimate end, it’s your own approval you desire, not mine. I can come along and tell you how beautiful you are and how wonderful you are; and you’ll say, “He was just doin’ that to try to make me feel good.” Or the mind says, “He was makin’ fun of me.”

So it’s your approval and your image of yourself that counts. So can you give yourself enough approval or do you want the rest of us to give it to you – and that usually means everybody I come in contact with – any disapproval can set me off internally. But you’ll never really believe the rest of us anyway..  You see, we’ve been taught that we should always put ourselves down. We’ve been taught that we should be “humble” and/or at least act that way, otherwise we’re vain.   And being vain is “bad”. But if you put yourself down, who’s gonna put you up again, is that right?

You’ve been told how beautiful and capable you were ever since you was this high, is that right? You’ve been told that all of your life, haven’t you?

(Well, about……….)

Well, most of your life, is that right? That you’re a beautiful lady. Do you buy it or do you think you’re ……

(I think they’re just making it up and they don’t really know..)

Right. So the only approval and attention that really matters is what you give yourself. Now let’s all get that straight. Now that don’t mean you’re conceited or anything of the sort. The point is, if you can’t approve of yourself, you won’t buy it from somebody else. I’ve watched you dismiss any compliments or approval for a long time.   So even if they do give you all the attention and all the approval you want, you then give yourself the “put down”. Is that right?

(Yes.)

Yeah. And so does about everybody else here. Now we all give ourselves a “put down”, is that right?   The only attention and approval in the ultimate end that matters is what you give yourself, ok? And that doesn’t mean that you have to run and tell everybody how wonderful you are, but just so you know it, ok? You don’t have to tell anybody about it, just so you know it. Then you got plenty of attention. If you need a little more today, give yourself a little more,   Okay?

[from Marsha   And for a little futher comment, I was recently given an exercise to do and that is: Daily write 60 things I’m thankful for with no repeats; and at the end of a day, give myself 3 pats on the back for something I’ve done through the day.    60 things seems like a lot so I started with 10 – check it out, it gets easier as you go along.]

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