I want “that” not “this”

What does that phrase mean to you? We could maybe look at it as greed – always wanting more, better, and different. I’ve heard greed defined as “I want it to keep you from getting it”. long ago, I observed my children as infants, toddlers and teenagers, as they had to get it no matter what because they wanted it “right now”!

We’ve been conditioned by big business to always have the latest fashion, the latest car, the latest medicine, even the latest soap detergent — what’s “in”.  And big business determines “what’s in.”

But this idea can also apply to many other things in our daily lives. How many of the “I want this – not that”s can you observe as you go through your day? Do you observe the same in others. Maybe we could even run an experiment in seeing that when we get what we wanted the joy in the “getting” lasts how long? Do we still want it or do we immediately move on to another something? Some examples.

I don’t like this boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, I want that guy/girl. She’s prettier, he has more money, he would “take care of me”.

I don’t want this being tied down, I want to be free to do what I want to do when I want to do it..

I don’t want this being alone, I want a companion.

I don’t want to live here, it’s too hot – I want to move to a cooler place – I don’t like so much snow, I want to move to the tropics.

Seems we’re never satisfied with what we have, we find fault with it instead of appreciating it and being thankful for what we already have. We’re always looking for something that will make me “happy” as if that were a permanent state of being. How long have you ever experienced happiness?

So as we observe ourselves and others through the day; it can be interesting to see where this idea of “this and that” is working.

I don’t like “this”. I want “that”. And the minute you get “that” in your little hot fist, what is it?

It’s a “this”, right?. So now I don’t like it for very long — it’s old, it’s boring.   And here goes the struggle that most people are in. I’ve just got to have “that” – I don’t like “this”.

And here is a strange thing that you will find runnin’ through everbody’s mind. I don’t like “this” but take a look – “this” is always in the present. Where is the “that” – it’s always in the future.

And so the “that” is made it into a goal and is glomed onto as very important because I’ll be “in”, “healthy”, “happy”. Does that ever happen on a permanent basis? When we get it, it’s now a “this” and I tire of it quite quickly.

So a person tears themselves to pieces to gain a goal – once they get it, it’s suddenly not good enough, it’s old, it didn’t produce what I thought it would — what was promised – the thing, the circumstance or the event is no longer of any interest – one is then looking for another “that”.

Just to see what’s going on can be of value.   Look around and see what you can see?

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on I want “that” not “this”

Non-disturbance vs Peaceful

Do these two words sound like the same thing?

It can be enlightening to check out the four dual basic urges and observe self throughout the day.

The teaching speaks of wanting non-disturbance.  In other words we do and say things to GET non-disturbance.

Just what is non-disturbance; and what are we trying to GET?   There is an outline of the four dual basic urges on the webpage – See under “Illustrations.”

On the physical level we unconsciously try to gain comfort and pleasure and escape pain or discomfort

On a mental level we unconsciously try to gain attention and escape being ignored or rejected.

On an emotional level we unconsciously try to gain approval and escape disapproval.

And the fourth level is referred to by different names —  sometimes spiritual, sometimes transcendental; but we unconsciously try to gain a feeling of being needed or importance and try to escape a feeling of inferiority or insignificance.

In “The Place of Language” of the teachings, (also on my website) peace is defined as an “absence of competition.”  I’ve also heard it defined as “not wanting to change anything”.  So if I’m peaceful, it is a “state of being” rather than trying to GET non-disturbance.

I AM peaceful, but sometimes I go to sleep and seek non-disturbance – i.e. gain comfort, attention, approval, being needed; and escape pain, ignored, disapproval and insignificance.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Non-disturbance vs Peaceful

Trust — another way of looking at the concept

— from the Half Moon Bay workshop.

[from Marsha…..What is trust?   The dictionary says: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

This subject is looked at from a completely different view below.   We start out with a statement from the audience.]

(I have a hard time with forgiveness –)

You don’t forgive ‘em. You don’t need to.

(There are people who have been really close with me and I felt that I trusted and they hurt me.)


(I mean even when I hear you say those words that they felt justified – I was so hurt in the process, I just can’t seem to do it.)

Well, you don’t need to.

(Well, it seems like the whole basis of…..)

The whole basis is to see that he felt he was right, proper, and/or justified no matter what he did to you. Now, the next thing out is – you say you trusted him.

Now, trust means that you have already come to the conclusion that they’re going to do what they ought to do.

You said you knew what ought to be in the first place, and that they’re gonna do that. You are predicting that you know the future, is that right?


……otherwise you wouldn’t trust anybody, right? Nor distrust. You wouldn’t have either one. You see, the biggest part of the “hurt” is because you “trusted”. And then what was “trust to you was betrayed” – that’s the big “hurt”, isn’t it? You know, you can get over having your face slapped or somethin’ like that; but being betrayed with the trust… Now, what grounds do we have for trustin’ anybody? What grounds do you have?


No, you just don’t have any except that you assume you know the future and they’re gonna do so and so and so and so. And when they don’t, you crash; and you saw your trust was an illusion, is that right?


And that’s what upset you – that you’ve been chasin’ an illusion. And they told me that the struggle towards an illusion is the only disintegrating factor in man. That’s right. You’re strugglin’ towards an illusion. You assume, number one, that you knew the future, hmm? And this person, therefore, was gonna do thus and so because you assumed. And sometime or other you found that they didn’t do that; and you, therefore, demonstrated that you did not know the future, right? And you were, therefore, strugglin’ after an illusion. When you saw the illusion, you crumbled up over it and you got what you called “hurt.” Hmm?

(So why do you trust people?)

I don’t know any reason to trust anybody ‘cause I don’t know the future and that’s the only thing you can go on.

Now, I will make certain assumptions. I’ll assume that the person I sell something to; and they say they’ll pay in 30 days, that they will. But that’s only an assumption on my part, isn’t it? So we do have to use those assumptions; but I wouldn’t call that trust. Would you call it trust, John?

(First of all I’d assume they’re probably not going to pay it.) (laughter)

That’s a start anyway, but there ain’t no reason to trust it, is it?


None whatsoever. Okay? Does that help you out a little bit? That what? You have no reason to trust; and if you do, you’re struggling after an illusion; and what hurts is seeing that you had an illusion instead of a fact. That’s where the “hurt” comes from, believe it or not.

(I believe that. I know that I can’t go do anything unless I can justify it. I mean, we’re looking right at it.)

BUT…those other people cannot justify it and do wrong anyway.

The teaching idea says: Wisdom is the knowledge that whatever myself or anyone else has ever done, is doing, or ever will do, it is felt at the time of doing to be right, or proper, or justified.

                               Check it out.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Trust — another way of looking at the concept

Google Translator added to blog & webpages

We have added Google translator to the blog sidebar and the webpages.  Look at the bottoms of the webpages for where you can choose your desired language. While it, of course, doesn’t  really approach human-level accuracy as yet; we hope it is a help to our many friends around the world who access the blog and website.  Hovering on a link or highlighting text should show the original (English) language.  Let me know if it helps – as always you can email Teachings@MarshaSummers.com


Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Google Translator added to blog & webpages


The knowledge that whatever myself or anyone else has ever done, is doing, or ever will do, it is felt at the time of doing to be right, or proper, or justified.

Check it out.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Wisdom:

Balance by doing something nice

[From Marsha:  Long ago a fellow student and I did an experiment we had heard in the teachings concerning the Law of Balance instead of the idea we all have heard of Karma.  The dictionary says:  “the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences”. But the idea was presented to us that there is only the Law of Balance.   So the experiment in balancing says if someone was mean to us in some way that we could balance that action by doing a kindness to someone or something else.   Sounds pretty far out, but we did the experiment for a while and like other ideas forgot it after a bit.  And so here’s that very idea again and certainly worth reviving and checking out.]

Dr. Bob says:

So you said, “you have any number of moods.”  Well, let’s say that I looked at things and said, “Well I think what I will do as my purpose today is work with balancing everything that comes along.”

So somebody comes in and gives me a hard way to go.  Well, the balance to that would be to do something rather nice for somebody  I meet through the day and give them a compliment, okay?  Somebody steals somethin’ from me, I go give somebody somethin’.

I read in a book that if somebody stole your overcoat, go give him your suit coat – or give somebody else your suit coat, I guess.  That kind of balanced it up – you can just keep on givin’ it or else you create more of an imbalance: and it’ll have to come back – I don’t know which.  I’m not talkin’  as that’s what you ought to do or not; but it would be the way that I would see to establish a balance.  And I find it works pretty good because it keeps you reminded that all these unpleasant situations that come along, you can do somethin’ rather nice for something or somebody – doesn’t matter, you just threw it out there, doesn’t matter where it goes – it keeps you aware of your purpose.

So here comes an idea that is only one purpose; it doesn’t go into the unconscious purpose from birth of only being non-disturbed; therefore; it doesn’t have all these methods of complaining, sticking up for rights, blaming or any of the others from the picture of man.  (See picture on the webpage)

With this purpose, the function comes out as something rather constructive, hmm?  It’s not something or someone you get even with, it’s not something to avoid.  It’s not something to fight.  And it sets up a whole different mood that we have talked about with your whole situation and everything around you.  It does all the things we have talked about — that is to say that what you radiate is the environment you live in.  This is a conscious purpose.

Now you can talk about being a conscious individual because you have consciously chosen your purpose.  And once you have a purpose, you don’t have to figure out how to execute it.  In fact it can be fun to figure out what you can do with balancing by doing something nice for someone or something.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Balance by doing something nice