A Marsha Summers Blog

[From Marsha: Once in a workshop I expressed stress about the thoughts always running in my mind with complaints, judging self and others, blaming, figuring how to lose weight, worried about this and that. So I asked Dr. Bob how I could stop the constant chatter.   He asked me just to listen; and the room became quiet for a few moments Then he asked me what I heard.   Here is that idea of a “listening exercise and experiment” embellished from an older workshop. He called it:]

Degrees of awareness

This time we’ll talk about degrees of awareness. – degrees of perception.

When we look at things, we have a big impression and immediately begin to want to know “why this happened and how it happened”; and, of course, we get concerned with the results of the pictures we’ve created in our minds. Then we conjure up all sorts of explanations, of “how I can make it go away” and “how I can keep it from happening again” — and truly speaking, very seldom does anything happen over and over again in just the same way.

Most minds are constantly going over situations, events and people’s motives and then conjuring up pictures which we then almost instantly accept as fact just because we thought it up. When you are aware this is happening, there is a very lovely beautiful thing to do.   If you will listen closely with no explanations, the mind becomes quiet. So one can listen and observe to see — not trying to solve something but merely seeing the essential fact as you see it in the present moment.

Very few have time for the mind to be totally quiet so immediately we start inventing answers until we’re totally lost in them; and then we attempt to find some technique to change it .   So sometimes it’s kind of interesting to let the mind go quiet. Now you don’t “make it quiet” because that’s conflict – you “allow it to be quiet” by listening or observing.

When you do this, you see relationships you have never seen before; and you can see the direction something is going. If our mind is quiet — “absent from any reasoning” — then there is perception beyond all the things that the busy mind prevented. We have lived with the busy mind for years which prevents ever understanding.

It’s a simple practice. So let’s try that for a few moments and listen real close as an experiment – [there is silence in the room while everyone listened] And your mind went what? Was it noisy or was it in a real peaceful state?   If you do that for a little while, you’re aware of all sorts of things you’ve never seen before — you’re more perceptive. You can’t see too many things at one time. In other words you can’t listen and think at the same time.

Now when the mind is quiet, it is an empty vessel. When it is full, you can’t get anything else in there, I don’t’ care how much is sittin’ here available for you to be aware of. And how many avenues of awareness do we have for all of those possible perceptions.

Now at first when you start listenin’ you’ll see it as result. But if you just practice listening, pretty soon you can listen a lot. It’s like living in an entirely different world because there is so many wonderful things going on that we never knew existed. In this, you won’t see the future, you only see the probability of something; and so it doesn’t necessarily go that way.   Then you can experience a great value to it.

So you can pursue the idea of “what’s going on”.   In this way, you are in an attitude of listening and you’ll find a quiet mind which is natural. In that natural state you perceive a whole new world that you’ve never seen before.

Next time you want to experiment with listening, instead of asking “why”, ask “what’s going on” and just let it remain quiet if you wanna ask a question. “Why” questions are not valid because it begins an endless loop in the brain that is unanswerable.   Asking “what’s going on here” or “what am I doing” will work much better.   But one can just leave it alone, okay?   Just stay in the quiet.

[from Marsha…Following up on my question in the workshop at the beginning of this excerpt, when Dr. Bob asked me to listen — he then asked what I heard; and I said the birds outside and an air conditioner running. Then he asked what I was thinking, but the thoughts had quit. It switches the attention; and I’ve discovered that I can certainly get hypnotized by the thoughts that ramble around in the head. I’ve also discovered that when I pay attention to “what I am doing” physically such as practicing piano, it brings me back into the now rather than hearing the mind chatter about some past event, even if it was an hour ago, or planning or predicting some future event. And how many things have I planned that rarely, if at all, turned out the way I pictured them.

Sometimes, when I can remember, I like to take another step in the listening exercise.   If I can drop thinking about what I want to say in conversations, I can more clearly hear what the other person is saying. It is then even more difficult for me to listen to “what I say”. I think my conversations would be less confusing to others which I have noticed on occasions that I do – especially if I’m excited.  I’ve even had people mirror back what I said; and it’s completely different from what I meant to say. One day I had just played “Moonglow” and the next song was “Moon River”. I announced the name of the song as the former – “Moonglow”.   The audience called me on it and said “No, that was Moon River”. I, then, saw what happens when I’m not paying attention to what I say. Just a little demonstration of the direction things go when I’m not paying attention and the mind is trying to encompass too much at the same time whether it’s following a conversation, trying to “fix” something or whatever.

Comments from a friend who shared a similar story of a conversation with Dr. Bob.

“Thank you for sharing your observations and the experiment. He told me that one while we were having coffee at his apartment one day. “Listen!” he said. “What do you hear?” I told him the sounds inside and outside the house I heard. “Now do it again and listen to what’s being said inside.” I immediately identified with the thoughts. He must have known that and said, “Listen CAREFULLY, don’t just watch.” I did it again and listened for the not-I’s talk and they went mute. I’ve used that tool ever since. Plus I’ve offered it to a few people who somehow recognize even in some small way that they are NOT their thoughts.

And somewhere along the way I heard this little idea.

Listening phrase – Be like water

Water is fluid allowing people or situations to be as they are without judging or trying to change them — yet still listening untroubled — it is reflective.

[From Marsha – below is an idea that appealed to me. Long ago when my father used words I was unfamiliar with, I’d ask him the meaning and he’d just say, “I don’t know but it sounds right.” He was usually correct, but how often there is more than one meaning to a word; and so what are we communicating to another.   Once in college I was given a list of words to discover what they meant to different people.   After many conversations, I wondered how we ever understand each other at all. Since I transcribed this little excerpt, I have been looking up the meaning of words which is so easy now with our computers and iphones.   So having said that, here is the delightful idea from a long ago workshop.]

Someone in the audience must have said.   “Well, I find that the ideas I get are very valuable…..   (the question was inaudible)

Well an idea is a picture in the mind and a picture in the mind is an idea if you want to use that particular definition. Did you look idea up in the dictionary?    It’s most interesting if you’d care to look up a series of words. Start off with the word “idea”.   Then look up the word “Ideal” – it might lead you to the word “fantasy”. It might lead you to a lot of things because there’s a word in there that describes that you only think you know the meaning of. So start off with the dictionary and see where it leads you.

Last week we were down in Albuquerque and some lady got up and said, “Would you recommend the best book for us to read because I’m just so tired of reading book after book – what’s the best book?”  I said, “the dictionary – it’s got all the words in it you could ever want.”   She thought I was being a “smarty”; but I still think it’s the best, if you’re gonna read a book.

If you really understood all the meanings of words, you’d be a lot less confused because we have only conceived the meaning of the words we use; and we misuse words all the time.

[from Marsha – Now when someone uses a word I’m not familiar with or a word that could have more than one meaning, I ask – “What does that word mean to you.”   Some examples of words that I have asked of people is faith, happiness, authority, and sometimes even god refraining from my opinion. I just want to hear what their’s is.   So you can experiment with it during your conversations with others.   It is really fun and quite enlightening – not to judge their definition, but to have a clearer understanding between you.]

[from Marsha…..I can remember as a teenager interested in going to Cassada, the spiritualst camp in Lake Helen, Florida and visiting the medium about the future.   It was a lark, but there certainly was some curiosity thinking it might be adviseable and worthwhile to know the future. Below are some thoughts that you might find interesting.] Dr. Bob responds to an participant in audience who wants to have the power to foretell the future.

He says:If the future is already known, then we were predetermined by some unknown power to be here this morning. Everbody that held up their hand to contribute to the conversation was already predetermined to do so; and so we’re all puppets on a string. So it’s a big play and we’re not alive anyway, so let’s forget it. Okay? Everything that’s ever happened to us was preordained – it’s already shot in the movie film; and we just happen to be watching a certain place in it this morning, is that right? There isn’t anything you can do any different other than what you’re doing this morning.   But do you see that if the future is able to be foretold then it must be all cut and dried.

(unintelligible statement.)

Well it’s not foretold then. You only said it’s a possibility that a certain thing’ll happen if you think you can change it. Now obviously if it’s foretold, it’ll have to work out just like it was. You only told me a probability, and I can give you any probability you want for the future – it’ll work out anyway – maybe not the way you want, but it’ll work out.

(I was told ___ )

…then he only told you probability, is that right? Okay now we’re into the probability. Anybody can give you a probability – some are a little more intelligent and can give you a better probability — and then there’s some tell you another probability based on a bunch of conditioning of what they’ve been told and believe rather than looking at the facts.   So you can’t tell the future, you can only tell probability.  Maybe you could send it to the “I don’t know” department in your mind?

(Uh huh.)

So you can begin to look at things objectively instead of makin’ all these pictures in the mind and scarin’ yourself. You can, then, kind of see the real probability, because you see how things are headed.

If I see a boat comin’ down the river at 60 mniles an hour; and the driver is sittin’ there flirtin’ with a girl instead of lookin’ where the boat is headed, I got a good degree of probability he’s goin’ to the point of no return real quick.   I cannot fortell the future because the boat might explode before he gets there, okay?

When I observe a conditioned person. I can predict what he’s gonna do with a reasonable degree of accuracy.   Every prediction has an “if” in it. If you “don’t do so and so” then “so and so” is gonna come about, is that right? So nobody can predict the future. You can only predict with a reasonable degree of probability.

The weather bureau is a task master at it; they have finally fixed it so they’re 100% correct. They put everything in percentages – there’s a 30% chance of rain and 70% of sun. If it rains, the 30% was there — if it doesn’t, the 70% was right, and the forecaster is always 100% right and that’s the way it goes.

So if one is more aware, one sees more facts; and, therefore, sees the relationship of those facts; and thereby the direction of which things are traveling; and then one has a high degree of probability.

Now this is what science is about – they study the degrees of probability of a given thing occurring, and they run experiments — not in trying to figure out “hows and whys”: however science is somewhat deteriorating – it has deteriorated during the last few years and gone into the “hows and whys” a lot instead of “what’s going on”.

Now you can run an experiment many times that when you put water in a pan on the stove with the heat up, that it boils in a given length of time. If you tried that experiment at 700 ft. altitude, you’re gonna come up with a conclusion. But if you, then, tried the same experiment at sea level, you’d find your conclusion is all haywire because it don’t boil in the same length of time at the lower altitude. So you couldn’t come to that particular conclusion. But if you kept accumulating data through experimentation, pretty soon you begin to have a considerable amount of data to work with.

[From Marsha…..My voice teacher once gave an exercise to the drummer of his former band who was afraid of the possibility of everything terrible happening in the future. He believed the scary pictures he had created in his mind. My teacher told this drummer to write down every prediction of fear he heard in his head for a month and see how many came true.   At the end of the month, the drummer came back and slammed his journal on the table.   The voice teacher said, “Well, what happened?”   The drummer shouted, “None of them happened!”

[from Marsha

Have you ever noticed that there are pictures going on in your mind?   Do you have pictures in there from the past, pictures predicting tomorrow and on into the future – pictures of arguments and unresolved conflicts? Are those pictures accurate?    Below is a condensed verson of the topic from Dr. Bob.]

***

So are we responsible for the pictures that float in the head – they don’t just float – we floated them around because we weren’t payin’ any attention to what they were doing; and so the pictures got made.

One day I saw a pretty lady sittin’ in her automobile on a parking lot; and she hadn’t even started her car because she couldn’t decide whether to stay or go — it was snowing very heavily. She had two pictures in her head and didn’t know which was the “right thing to do”. So I gave a push to one of ‘em. I sat with her a few minutes and made one picture look better than the other one.   I added a few little pictures on it and put color in it so one looked better than the other.

Now you see when you get two pictures in your head and you’re “scared of both of ‘em” which way do you go? That’s called freezing. When you make two and you “want both of them”, then it’s called catatonic – you can’t go either way.

Okay, let’s talk about some of the pictures that you might have made that you did not accept responsibility for; and you finally see that those two pictures made problems?   Who made the pictures?

(I did.)

But you forgot about makin’ ‘em, huh? And that’s when we say we can be aware of the picture makin’ behavior.

Now one of our most used bits of behavior is makin’ pictures in the mind – You’re making pictures when you’re doing everything else — even while you’re doin’ dishes, walkin’, drivin’, shopping — while you’re doin’ everything and anything.

So the most used behavior of mankind is the picture makin’ ability of the mind. Now that is where it pays very well to pay attention to that behavior because that is the most common behavior we have is the picture makin’ of the mind.

So if I see I have made two pictures, I can look for an experiment to run — I can then collect information as to whether the picture will work or not, okay? .

So this is when you begin to take responsibility for illusion and not saying, “Well I conceived it, now I’ll just do some positive thinking and it’ll happen magically?” But if I just think positive and sit and wait in the house for the miracle to occur, tell me how long it will take? Forever – no matter if you treated 16 times a day, right?

Now if you remember, you are making the pictures, you stop and say “I’m making this picture” then you’re remembering the self; and you don’t have much problem – that’s all there is to it. You can’t make a problem now – you start laughin’ at yourself every time you start makin’ a problem.

You’re good at makin’ pictures and holdin’ ‘em.   Huh? But….you got a couple of scenes going on in there that’s in conflict So you hold the picture — hold the thoughts – hold the illusion for who knows what.

Do you remember you’re makin’ the picture or do you forget all about it and suddenly get yourself scared of the picture?

Okay, so let’s do it deliberately — on purpose.   Consciously make all kinds of pictures. Then, sometime when you’re makin’ these pictures and you really weren’t paying attention; maybe you’ll quickly remember that all pictures in the mind are made by who?

Now if you self remember, you can be aware that you’re doing that and stop and say “I’m making this picture” then you’re remembering self – and you don’t have much problem. You can’t make one now – you start laughin’ at yourself everytime you start makin’ a problem.

The most wonderful ability of man is the ability to create an illusion —is that right?   However, I am saying take responsibility for it and conceive every kind of picture you want and know that this is the ability to create – that which makes man god-like is the ability to create an illusion and also to let the illusion go after while. That’s what makes him god–like is his ability to create – but take responsibility for the creation. I would not say any illusion in the mind was either good, bad or indifferent – only thing I said was take responsibility for it, is that right? I didn’t say quit making illusions. The ability to create illusions is the most valued creation of man – the most common behavior – that which makes him a human being which makes him a god in disguise.

So when a god disclaims responsibility for his creating ability, he’s gonna get scared of the worlds he creates and try to run away from them so fast that he forgot he created them. So one could drop the pictures made of the past and see only the probability of future events instead of believing the picture in the mind. Then one could be in the moment.

Now when all struggle after illusions are gone, the mind gets quiet.   When you’re totally unconcerned with how and why things happen, it’s pretty wonderful – there’s a whole bunch of ways.

If you want to know something, just shift into the attitude of listening. Try it the next time with “What’s goin’ on?” instead of how or why did this happen ask “What’s going on?” You kind of relax; and you got a quiet mind. Normally you see something and you wanna know why and then change it into what you think it ought to be. How about just lettin’ it remain quiet by inquiring as to “what’s goin’ on” if you wanna ask a question.

When you have a quiet mind you have more perception. So you can call it a voice or you can call it a thought — or you can call it any number of other things. Why not leave it as is, okay?   Just stay in the quiet.

[from Marsha   How often do we have a conversation with somebody that results in a difference of opinion. Each side tries to convince the other and neither listens – the discussion can become intense.   Each tries to persuade the other of their opinion, conclusions, selected authority, and beliefs. Neither is open; and then here comes the defense, the arguments and hurt feelings.

There are certain things we like and certain things we don’t like. So we all have something called “personal taste”.   If we’re aware of it, we can allow others to have their tastes, their opinions, their conclusions and just allow it to be. There’s just whatever’s going on and you may not like it; but it is called “an event.”

Now sometimes we can liken the “event” to a tiger.   So let’s say If a tiger came into the room where you were; and you let him alone, chances are very great he’ll turn around and walk out in a little while.

But now if you don’t like tigers in your house: and you grab it by the tail and try to get it out, I got news for you. You’re gonna be involved with that tiger for quite some time because he will be annoyed by being grabbed by the tail; and he will start clawing and chewing – so you daren’t let go.  You’ll get clawed and you’ll never be able to turn him loose. And so this is like “an event” – and we have “events” every day.

So somebody comes to your house and says, “You just don’t know what you’re talking about – “I know what’s right and wrong; and you should agree with me or you are misinformed or simply stupid!” – “You should see it my way because I have checked the internet and I know!”   Instantly, you react inside and don’t like that one bit!   It doesn’t fit how you see it — so maybe you “try to keep your mouth shut”; but they continue on; and finally you express your opposite opinion and the argument escalates.

And so you could say that you “grabbed that “event” by the tail” and are hanging onto it. It goes over and over in your head. Sometimes we fight with that same little old tiger for a sleepless night or two which can carry on for maybe months and sometimes even years!

This “event” can be with marriage, children, business, neighbors and sometimes there can never be resolution. We are hanging on to our opinions, beliefs and conclusions and the contention and conflict is like “grabbing the tiger by the tail.” We don’t or can’t let go.

But if you just let an “event alone”, how long does it last?   It walks out the door in just a little while.   You don’t have to change it. Granted there are some events which require more consideration; but how many of these little events do we allow that keep us awake night after night, month after month, year after year. Who’s hanging on to the tail — you?   Is the other person hanging on to the tail?   Do you have to hang onto the tail?

The creator created a great universe, we’re told and I read that he did it by this one thing – he let it be. He didn’t “make” anything. He just let it be. Did it say he created light or did it say “let there be light.”

Let the earth bring forth all these things. In other words just don’t interfere; and it’ll take care of itself real well — it’ll all work pretty good. What a wonderful experiment for each of us. Only thing is to remember that you didn’t interfere and you watched how it was resolved without your control and perceived wisdom of what should be.

So when you “grab it by the tail”, so to speak, it’s more like your inner state and well being that’s being clawed up, isn’t it?   So you can ignore it a little bit.   Why not? Why should you do anything about it — because it disturbs you? But it won’t last indefinitely. As long as you’re not trying to change someone or something in any manner, form, or fashion, then you can do what you want to do and “leave the event alone”.

Now let’s get to reality. Let’s stick to our interpersonal relationships. Now we can carry this over into all other events, but let’s stick to where the problems might be.

Parable of the Captain and storm

If a storm blows at sea, the captain, of course , is gonna do whatever he can to take his ship out of it, but he doesn’t stand and scream at the storm.

If you’re ridin’ in an airplane and it starts getting very bumpy, the pilot will do whatever he can to get out of the bumpy air, but he doesn’t stand there and holler at the bumpy air. He really doesn’t fuss at it a bit. He takes a detour and flies higher or lower and that’s about all he does about it.

But if you have an interpersonal relationship and there’s a little bumpy air, you don’t just go take a walk – you’re gonna stand there and straighten it out. Right?   In that way you can have bumpy air for years. You see, when you “grab that tiger by the tail”, you take the tiger with you no matter where you go or what you do.  So you want to straighten out this “event”’ and you still got the “event” in here, and all the time you’re thinkin’ of right things to say to that tiger to convince; but all it does is keep the fight going on.

So when you can see the bumpy air, and get out of the storm, you pilot your ship away from the sea of contention; and that’s the way “it can be” without making any big production. All your interested in is survival.

The real idea is if your interest was in survival and evolvement, wouldn’t your behavior be decidedly different than if you’re interested in having everything your way, keepin’ all your opinions in order – makin’ everbody else toe the line to fit your opinions. If you allowed them to have theirs and you just kept yours to yourself, would the “events” be altogether different?  If you pilot away from the bumpy air, could that be called an act of survival?   You’re not going to change them no matter how hard you try, so why get all involved.

Man got himself so educated that he is conditioned to survive by having his way. It rarely happens that way; in fact it’s absolutely unsure. But if you’re awake and aware, you can respond adequately to the event as it arises. Defending yourself and trying to convince doesn’t work.

So here’s some alternatives:

Sometimes you just let the other person have their opinions, beliefs, and conclusions; and if they’re too heated, maybe you take a walk or go to the bathroom and the subject can change itself when you come back.

And sometimes it’s been said that you can just agree with them and say “Thanks for reminding me” or just coo – what a wonderful experiment and practice that can be. Your body will thank you.

So when you observe that you’ve grabbed the “tiger by the tail” and you can’t seem to change it, what ideas can you come up with to let go of the “event” you don’t like?

What does that phrase mean to you? We could maybe look at it as greed – always wanting more, better, and different. I’ve heard greed defined as “I want it to keep you from getting it”. long ago, I observed my children as infants, toddlers and teenagers, as they had to get it no matter what because they wanted it “right now”!

We’ve been conditioned by big business to always have the latest fashion, the latest car, the latest medicine, even the latest soap detergent — what’s “in”.  And big business determines “what’s in.”

But this idea can also apply to many other things in our daily lives. How many of the “I want this – not that”s can you observe as you go through your day? Do you observe the same in others. Maybe we could even run an experiment in seeing that when we get what we wanted the joy in the “getting” lasts how long? Do we still want it or do we immediately move on to another something? Some examples.

I don’t like this boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, I want that guy/girl. She’s prettier, he has more money, he would “take care of me”.

I don’t want this being tied down, I want to be free to do what I want to do when I want to do it..

I don’t want this being alone, I want a companion.

I don’t want to live here, it’s too hot – I want to move to a cooler place – I don’t like so much snow, I want to move to the tropics.

Seems we’re never satisfied with what we have, we find fault with it instead of appreciating it and being thankful for what we already have. We’re always looking for something that will make me “happy” as if that were a permanent state of being. How long have you ever experienced happiness?

So as we observe ourselves and others through the day; it can be interesting to see where this idea of “this and that” is working.

I don’t like “this”. I want “that”. And the minute you get “that” in your little hot fist, what is it?

It’s a “this”, right?. So now I don’t like it for very long — it’s old, it’s boring.   And here goes the struggle that most people are in. I’ve just got to have “that” – I don’t like “this”.

And here is a strange thing that you will find runnin’ through everbody’s mind. I don’t like “this” but take a look – “this” is always in the present. Where is the “that” – it’s always in the future.

And so the “that” is made it into a goal and is glomed onto as very important because I’ll be “in”, “healthy”, “happy”. Does that ever happen on a permanent basis? When we get it, it’s now a “this” and I tire of it quite quickly.

So a person tears themselves to pieces to gain a goal – once they get it, it’s suddenly not good enough, it’s old, it didn’t produce what I thought it would — what was promised – the thing, the circumstance or the event is no longer of any interest – one is then looking for another “that”.

Just to see what’s going on can be of value.   Look around and see what you can see?