The Frame
(def. A method whereby a man holds a woman to propel a woman through the many ballroom dances such as Latin, waltz, cha cha, etc.)
Dr. Bob explains the six decisions in the basic tapes on the webpage. Number four says “It is important to believe and do everything I am told by my authorities.” Dr. Bob also said if you used only one of these ideas through your Life, you would have it all.
So in observing those around me, I was inspired to write the following little story:
There was once a man somewhat up in years with a wife. The man, Adam, began dancing lessons for her and they had many happy moments going to different dances. They learned something called “the frame” which descended from the famous dance teacher, Arthur Murray.
As time passed, she died of cancer and he in his grief began going to the dances and asking different women to dance. He found fault with them because they couldn’t follow him – they had different teachers. So Adam quit asking any of them because they complained. He tried to teach them “the frame” during a dance unmindful that he and his wife had taken lessons for months and months.
Along the way, there was another man at the dance who was asking the same women to dance. He told one of the women to relax and she in turn told Adam who felt affronted. Adam began to see this man in many negative ways, finding judgement for everything he saw him do. It even went so far that he wanted to start a rumor about him and have it that nobody knew where the rumor came from. He became more and more miserable even though he felt righteous.
Adam made himself an authority with the idea of “the frame” and everybody should know about it or learn it from him or they were out and he didn’t want to have anything to do with them. And so when he went to the dances, he had no one to dance with.
The lesson for me with this story is to be aware of when I am believing that I am capable of being an authority and knowing how that affects others.
Where does this temptation to be an authority come from? I see it happening these days with quoting the internet. I find only those pages that agree with what I learned from parents, church, friends, peers, news, TV, and books.
Perhaps what I can learn from this is to allow others to have their authorities and question my own.
Experience is the best teacher!