Long ago I found an article in a piano magazine that gave an idea for learning. The article suggested having a “no mistake” day when I practiced. I experimented with the idea and discovered a well of creativity inside that I didn’t know existed. That well sprang from simply being okay with freely allowing myself to not do it “right,” or “be perfect,” every single time.
It was such an eye-opener, I decided to share the idea with my own piano students. The following week a woman arrived for her lesson and began to play the tune she had chosen to learn. After a few moments, she said, “I don’t know what’s wrong. I did this perfectly at home and now I’m making so many mistakes!” So I asked her to play it again and told her to make as many mistakes as she could.
When she finished I told her there weren’t nearly enough. Surprised, she said “Really?”
“Yep” I replied, “Do it again. Let go and just play.” After playing the song a few times she lost her tension and played it well.
For a competition recently, my daughter was chosen to be part of a line-dancing team that would showcase the choreography of a much beloved teacher. Each team member chose a special name, complete with a Western costume, hat, boots, and all the trimmings. My daughter practiced every day, wanting to be perfect.
During the competition she called me realizing she had made it so important that her mind was in a whirl. As we talked it came out that she was so stressed because she was afraid of making a mistake, of not being a good team member, and disappointing the teacher she respected and adored. She wanted him to win and if she made a mistake, she believed his loss would be all her fault.
As we talked, she finally remembered the idea of being free to make a mistake, the little lesson I had shared with her years before. What relief!
When she hung up she told a team member who was also very uptight that she could be free to make a mistake. The team member said “I love that!”
My daughter called when it was over to say that the teacher won two of the competitions.
On a side note, the dance was videoed and put on YouTube and elsewhere. She said that on viewing the dance, she was unable to discern the two places she got lost a little.
Dr. Bob shared the idea that we have never made a mistake. He said, “There’s no way you and I can ever say we made a mistake; because you don’t know what the outcome would have been if you had done something else.”
At first, the idea that there was no such thing as a mistake seemed absurd. but after observing for a long time, I realize that things I had “seen” as mistakes were actually experiences that taught me the most about life and my part in it.
He further asked his audience, “What would have happened had you not been late or gone down the wrong street?”
So, every time I came up on an accident on the road, I thought how grateful I was that I was late, sort of in the wrong place but at the right time.
It’s interesting to observe all the mental anguish we put ourselves through and how things are just fine anyway. What a waste of time, energy, and peace of mind It is to waste all these moments worrying about being perfect, correct, right, and never making a “mistake.” And how impoverished it leaves me when I do!