Looking at what I already have

 From 7 & 8 of DC March 78

[from Marsha:

Growing up in this manmade world has been an ever unfolding adventure. As a teenager, I just knew happiness would be mine if I could drive. And when I could drive, then I wanted more freedom to do what I wanted to do with no sanctions from my father.

And then I went to work hoping for a better job, more income and a perfect mate who would give me security. And when I had a husband, home, and children then I became somewhat discontented with that and wanted something different. In the 60’s it was suggested that I should “to find myself”.  So what I had, I took for granted and that lead to greed of wanting to develop my potential – not saying that’s bad or good, just the suggestion of those days

Definition of greed from the internet

“Greed goes much further than money. A person can be greedy for money but also for fame, possessions, attention, compliments. It could be fun to make your own list. 

Happiness was evident at times, but only very temporarily.

And so as conflict and discontent grew, I was fortunate enough to start vocal lessons with a teacher who was familiar with the “teachings” of Dr. Bob Gibson: and I began using his 48 tapes one each week. One of the ideas he mentions is that we’ve always had what we need which is provided by the Host – X – God. 

But coming back to the “NOW” in 2020, I chose this subject for the blog because the covid scare is diminishing many of the things, events, and privileges we have taken for granted – even a simple hug.  It feels alien to me to see people with masks on; and it takes away from their personality, from communication and a sense of oneness as though we are all divided from each other and very alone. 

So I treasure this exercise of “looking at what I already have” in a very new and different situation.  It can bring about a sense of thankfulness instead of a forboding of “lack” – even if only for the moments we spend on it.]

And here’s the excerpt.

                From the workshop

 But the Host basically provides for me all the time and I can have tokens to play with because I’ll exchange with you okay?

Now when we see that fairly plain, do you not of necessity have to have another purpose of living – simply to be a good guest – you forget all about being nondisturbed because there’s nothing here to really disturb us anyway.  Why work at somethin’ so hard when you already have it – come to think of it.  You have food, clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting things to do, interesting people to be around, delightful other guests to play games with ever since you’ve been here haven’t you Barbara?

(Sure have.)

Now why work so hard to be nondisturbed when you already got it except you’re frettin about it.

So you see I can put an end to all this old purpose of living ‘cause I see I really already have it.  Don’t you Mr. Pinkous?  You already have it – you have food, clothing – everything that makes for a nondisturbed state.  You have food clothing, shelter, transportation, interesting things to do, interesting other guests to be around, right?

(Uh huh.)

So why work so hard to get something you’ve already got.  You see – only an infant has forgotten that he didn’t have something for a minute and so we still go on with that same habit runnin’.

Now that you have it, could you not make a contribution to the party we’ll say – just simply being a good guest.  I don’t know what’ you’d do.  I haven’t the foggiest.  My contribution probably’d be different that anybody else’s contribution – yours would be different than anybody else’s; but it’s worthwhile.  You see, the party’d get along if we didn’t make it anyway, Did you know that?


The party would get along just fine if I didn’t make the contribution.  So it only does something for me, it gives me a feeling that I can say thank you in some way or other.  Party’d get along anyway, wouldn’t it?

Now when we look at that, we’re bound to come up with a new purpose.  Now I said when we look at it – I didn’t say we’ve already looked at it, but I, at least, gave the place to look, okay?  The area in which to look; and you’re bound to see that if you look around a bit, that this is what’s actually goin’ on out here, okay?  And that all the other guests are doin’ what they feel’s right, proper and justifiable; and a lot of ‘em obviously don’t know where they are – they don’t’ know what they are, they don’t know what’s goin’ on here and they don’t know what they can do.   That’s true.  And you have even been a little extra privileged to get a chance to look at that, okay?  No sweat then.

Now if that be the case, then you could have a new purpose of living without any effort of makin’ it; and you could choose from a few possibilities how you want to put it to work.  That’s when we say it is consciously chosen because by looking at it as it really is, you’d have to have a new purpose of living, you just couldn’t keep from it, okay?  I didn’t say you could look at it this minute. It may take you several days lookin’ at it.  May take you one  minute and maybe you already have; but whatever it is, it’d come up a new one and essentially it would be some form that the only thing I can do here is be a good guest.

[from Marsha….From this little excerpt, I took a walk around the block to really take a look at what I already have.   I have food – plenty of it – maybe too much and I’m working on not eating all of it all the time because the body doesn’t need as much as is available.

I have plenty of clothing – it may not be brand names; but it is certainly fine for me and I can mix and match.   I can dress up when I go out because it feels good to me and it also makes the environment a little prettier.

In one of the workshops there was a woman who hated putting her makeup on in the morning. Dr. Bob suggested that she was beautifying  the environment. After that, she never had a problem and I adopted that idea also.

I have shelter.  It’s not an expensive house, but it fills all my needs and is just enough.   Also have a private fence in the back yard where I can have a garden and ponder with privacy. 

I may not be able to drive, but I have transportation to the places I really need to go.  May not get to go everywhere I want whenever I want, but it’s that way with everything in life.

I certainly have interesting people to be around; and they don’t fit my ideal of what people should be or should do; but it reminds me to do the work of the teachings and maybe experience agape (understanding) for each and every one.

And I have interesting things to do despite the blindness.   Yes, the things I can do are limited; and yes, they are sometimes very difficult to do; and yes with diminishing sight I need to keep looking for alternatives to seeing, but so far, I’ve been able to do that.

So when I think about making a contribution and/or be what, to me, is a good guest, I have found many opportunities – I keep tweaking the process each day. I think it’s a contribution to not try to change all these interesting people I’m around even though the temptation is great when I see them saying and doing things that may not be to their advantage.  Most times, they don’t want to hear my opinions; and they are on their own path. 

And there are the obvious contributions like playing piano on Zoom or telephone for sequestered friends. I can go on conference calls with other students of the teaching. I can learn new songs and develop piano skills and memorize words  even if I never get to use them for an audience. I have taken up creative cooking and planting a garden of vegetables and herbs (and I always felt I didn’t have a green thumb).My mind is challenged to come up with new ways to fill my needs for socialization. Once long ago after a bout with depression I experienced the idea of learning to be my own best friend.]

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