[from Marsha….It was quite a revelation to me years ago when presented with the idea from Dr. Bob of the difference between personal taste and ideals. It was harder than I thought to distinguish between the two within me. I forget to observe the difference in others most of the time because I’m involved in conversation. But this week I had an opportunity to “stand back” so to speak and delve a little deeper when I reacted to dinner options with family. Dr. Bob recommended that we look words up in the dictionary so that we can be more knowledgeable of their meaning so I have started with these definitions…..]
From the dictionary
Personal Taste
A person’s taste is their choice in the things that they like or buy, for example their clothes, possessions, or music. If you say that someone has good taste, you mean that you approve of their choices.
Ideal
Satisfying one’s conception of what is perfect; most suitable.
Existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.
Observation of family for dinner
When I offered to cook dinner, there could be no potatoes (that’s starch) because it was set up that the ideal was the keto diet; however, fat was perfectly acceptable. Everything had to be organic (and who could ever check out to see if no pesticides are used and if that was fact or a sales pitch). Same deal with eating beef, fish or pork. Though I am avid against the mistreatment of animals, I recognize that I can’t do anything about it. I see that I have lived to this age without all these “shoulds” about food.
It has left me in a quandary whenever food is part of my social interaction. I have observed reaction within at the intense preferences and tried to see them as simply personal taste.
And as I have pondered these statements, I can see suggestion working as “ought to be’s” from all sorts of sources – internet, nutritionists, doctors, big business, friends, newspapers, magazines. Ah, who to believe and make an authority. Personal taste and listening to the body has been dismissed to accept suggestions which have then been turned into beliefs of good and bad, right and wrong.
And so I found myself in this very situation this week about dinner. I value having my family for dinner. As the “have tos” were stated, I decided to just observe and chuckle to myself at the “must have and dos” flitting around about every bit of the preparation as we were all preparing together in the kitchen. I, too, have preferences, but I decided that it was to my advantage and to the idea of contributing to a pleasant mood to allow them their ‘ideals’ on our weekly get togethers. I choose to respect their choices; and I discovered that in many cases, personal taste has not only become the ideal – but everyone around should see it the same way.
I have many other days to eat as I prefer and to my personal taste without comment.
Somewhere throughout the years, the idea was also presented as playing the role of being invisible. So I see this as practicing invisibility and a way to be a good guest here on planet earth with the culture as it is today.