Radiate Anyway

Excerpt From Half Moon Bay

(Ok, you’re the Empress or whatever and you feel you’re in charge of that and all the people that work under you and that are living in their world are really chippin’ away, chippin’ away, how are are you supposed to not give up?)

I’m gonna stay up there and radiate so nice that they will either be unable to stand it or they’ll change. There’s no time to give up ’cause it’s your world you’re living in, not theirs.  Yes, I agree society is out there trying to make you be a downer at all times.  I know that – how well I know.  I’ve been around this world longer than you have.  They’ve been at it all the time I’ve been here; and I’m sure they was at it before I got here and see they’re gonna keep it up.  But I’m not gonna let them have charge of my world – I don’t care how insistent they are, ok?

There’s a story I heard over in New Mexico I heard one time that a bunch of women met every week to do their little needle work or quilting bee or whatever – the homemaker’s club. (The husbands called it the homewrecker’s club.)  And there was one little lady named Mrs. Brown that every time all these other ladies got to gossipin’ about somebody and really tearin’ ’em up, you know as you said, “chippin’ away with sledge hammers and big chisels and jack hammers,” she always perked up and said something nice about the guy like, “He’s a wonderful provider for his family!” or “He never uses foul language in the presence of ladies,” and on and on and on.  She’d always find somethin’.

One day they were really having a great time tearin’ some guy up and she piped up and said that he was a wonderful provider for his family. He kept all the kid’s cars, he sent them all to college, they were all dressed nice.  And one of the ladies said, “Mrs. Brown, if we were talking about the devil, you’d have somethin’ nice to say about him.”  She said, “Well, you’ll have to admit he’s always on the job.”


Only if you’re on the job, your kids ______(unclear). We know that but we don’t have to let it dig in ’cause I can keep on buildin’ “up” just as much as they’re chippin’ down, ok?  And it’s my world I’m concerned with, not the other guys’, ok?  Does that help answer your question all right?  When to give up?  Never!  Ok I said you may forget once in a while, but don’t forget too long, honey.

(It seems like if you’re coming from an attitude that’s really up all the time, when you’re in the midst of all these people that are downers you will look at them like they’re uppers because…..)

Oh well I see them as… I said that’s common sense – you see the fun they’re having, ok? I don’t see them as being “up.”  I see pretty well what’s there, but I think how funny it is that they can have joy and peace and everything and they choose to live in this, is that right?  It’s like this guy here.  I’ve known him for years – beautiful, handsome man and he has a wonderful education.  He’s had gobs of opportunities.  But I don’t think how pathetic he is; I think what a joke he is, you know.  And every once in a while, he’ll come out of it for a few minutes when you see the joke and get him up a little bit; but he’s got a private little reason for going (unclear).  People treat you nice when you’re a bambino and you fell down and skinned your knee and tried to fix you up and petted him; so he’s still thinkin’ they might do it; but nobody’s done it recently, have they?  Been quite a long time.  You know we all like to be pathetic because when we were a little kid, mama picked us up and petted us when we got hurt or we weren’t feelin’ too good.  But you know, nobody pays much attention to us gettin’ our knees scratched or not feeling too good these days.   Yes?

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