Trust — another way of looking at the concept

— from the Half Moon Bay workshop.

[from Marsha…..What is trust?   The dictionary says: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

This subject is looked at from a completely different view below.   We start out with a statement from the audience.]

(I have a hard time with forgiveness –)

You don’t forgive ‘em. You don’t need to.

(There are people who have been really close with me and I felt that I trusted and they hurt me.)

Mm-hmm.

(I mean even when I hear you say those words that they felt justified – I was so hurt in the process, I just can’t seem to do it.)

Well, you don’t need to.

(Well, it seems like the whole basis of…..)

The whole basis is to see that he felt he was right, proper, and/or justified no matter what he did to you. Now, the next thing out is – you say you trusted him.

Now, trust means that you have already come to the conclusion that they’re going to do what they ought to do.

You said you knew what ought to be in the first place, and that they’re gonna do that. You are predicting that you know the future, is that right?

(Uh-huh.)

……otherwise you wouldn’t trust anybody, right? Nor distrust. You wouldn’t have either one. You see, the biggest part of the “hurt” is because you “trusted”. And then what was “trust to you was betrayed” – that’s the big “hurt”, isn’t it? You know, you can get over having your face slapped or somethin’ like that; but being betrayed with the trust… Now, what grounds do we have for trustin’ anybody? What grounds do you have?

(Control?)

No, you just don’t have any except that you assume you know the future and they’re gonna do so and so and so and so. And when they don’t, you crash; and you saw your trust was an illusion, is that right?

(Uh-huh.)

And that’s what upset you – that you’ve been chasin’ an illusion. And they told me that the struggle towards an illusion is the only disintegrating factor in man. That’s right. You’re strugglin’ towards an illusion. You assume, number one, that you knew the future, hmm? And this person, therefore, was gonna do thus and so because you assumed. And sometime or other you found that they didn’t do that; and you, therefore, demonstrated that you did not know the future, right? And you were, therefore, strugglin’ after an illusion. When you saw the illusion, you crumbled up over it and you got what you called “hurt.” Hmm?

(So why do you trust people?)

I don’t know any reason to trust anybody ‘cause I don’t know the future and that’s the only thing you can go on.

Now, I will make certain assumptions. I’ll assume that the person I sell something to; and they say they’ll pay in 30 days, that they will. But that’s only an assumption on my part, isn’t it? So we do have to use those assumptions; but I wouldn’t call that trust. Would you call it trust, John?

(First of all I’d assume they’re probably not going to pay it.) (laughter)

That’s a start anyway, but there ain’t no reason to trust it, is it?

(No.)

None whatsoever. Okay? Does that help you out a little bit? That what? You have no reason to trust; and if you do, you’re struggling after an illusion; and what hurts is seeing that you had an illusion instead of a fact. That’s where the “hurt” comes from, believe it or not.

(I believe that. I know that I can’t go do anything unless I can justify it. I mean, we’re looking right at it.)

BUT…those other people cannot justify it and do wrong anyway.

The teaching idea says: Wisdom is the knowledge that whatever myself or anyone else has ever done, is doing, or ever will do, it is felt at the time of doing to be right, or proper, or justified.

                               Check it out.

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Google Translator added to blog & webpages

We have added Google translator to the blog sidebar and the webpages.  Look at the bottoms of the webpages for where you can choose your desired language. While it, of course, doesn’t  really approach human-level accuracy as yet; we hope it is a help to our many friends around the world who access the blog and website.  Hovering on a link or highlighting text should show the original (English) language.  Let me know if it helps – as always you can email Teachings@MarshaSummers.com

Thanks…M

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Wisdom:

The knowledge that whatever myself or anyone else has ever done, is doing, or ever will do, it is felt at the time of doing to be right, or proper, or justified.

Check it out.

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Balance by doing something nice

[From Marsha:  Long ago a fellow student and I did an experiment we had heard in the teachings concerning the Law of Balance instead of the idea we all have heard of Karma.  The dictionary says:  “the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences”. But the idea was presented to us that there is only the Law of Balance.   So the experiment in balancing says if someone was mean to us in some way that we could balance that action by doing a kindness to someone or something else.   Sounds pretty far out, but we did the experiment for a while and like other ideas forgot it after a bit.  And so here’s that very idea again and certainly worth reviving and checking out.]

Dr. Bob says:

So you said, “you have any number of moods.”  Well, let’s say that I looked at things and said, “Well I think what I will do as my purpose today is work with balancing everything that comes along.”

So somebody comes in and gives me a hard way to go.  Well, the balance to that would be to do something rather nice for somebody  I meet through the day and give them a compliment, okay?  Somebody steals somethin’ from me, I go give somebody somethin’.

I read in a book that if somebody stole your overcoat, go give him your suit coat – or give somebody else your suit coat, I guess.  That kind of balanced it up – you can just keep on givin’ it or else you create more of an imbalance: and it’ll have to come back – I don’t know which.  I’m not talkin’  as that’s what you ought to do or not; but it would be the way that I would see to establish a balance.  And I find it works pretty good because it keeps you reminded that all these unpleasant situations that come along, you can do somethin’ rather nice for something or somebody – doesn’t matter, you just threw it out there, doesn’t matter where it goes – it keeps you aware of your purpose.

So here comes an idea that is only one purpose; it doesn’t go into the unconscious purpose from birth of only being non-disturbed; therefore; it doesn’t have all these methods of complaining, sticking up for rights, blaming or any of the others from the picture of man.  (See picture on the webpage)

With this purpose, the function comes out as something rather constructive, hmm?  It’s not something or someone you get even with, it’s not something to avoid.  It’s not something to fight.  And it sets up a whole different mood that we have talked about with your whole situation and everything around you.  It does all the things we have talked about — that is to say that what you radiate is the environment you live in.  This is a conscious purpose.

Now you can talk about being a conscious individual because you have consciously chosen your purpose.  And once you have a purpose, you don’t have to figure out how to execute it.  In fact it can be fun to figure out what you can do with balancing by doing something nice for someone or something.

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Condemning or justifying what we see within

[From Marsha   When I was first introduced to this precious work, I treated it like all the other events in life including school, church, parents and peers to mention a few.   That is to say, I felt I must self improve to fit what they were trying to teach me.  The ideas, however, are very different.   May this excerpt  be of value so that you can avoid this common trap.  Dr Bob refers to the idea of observing what goes on in our daily events while we  use the Picture of Man (see illustrations on the website) to discover what’s going on in the inner man and the inner state of being….]

Here he says:

There is an idea of surrender.  We would say live with what we observe within as we use the Picture of Man without judging, condemning or justifying what we see—just live with the fact without condemnation or justification.

When you observe a not I within, there isn’t anything you can do about it because if you try to “change” what you see—let’s say “complain to get your way”, all you’ll do is flip to the B side and try to “please everybody”.  If you try to quit  “sticking up for your rights” from the A side, you’ll just start living and quoting your “authorities” from the B side.  If you try to quit “living by authorities”, all you’ll do is begin “sticking up for your rights”.  So all you do is jump around the Picture of Man – A side to B side and back to A side.   If you try to quit “being different”, why you start “blaming everybody”.  And if you try to quit “blaming everybody” you’re only trying to “be different” or “self improve.

So nothing is gained by condemning or justifying what we observe—it’s just live with this fact and see that “I am living by the infant mind”.  That  infant value was set up by my ancestor — a little baby born back in wherever you were born.  He/she didn’t know very much.  He was naked, helpless and a whole bunch of other things, but he was pretty sharp, he made all these decisions–which was appropriate for him at that moment—necessary to survive.  He “had to complain” because that’s the only way he could get his parents to notice him—he had to beller and let them know he was hungry, wet or hurting in some way.

But nobody ever gave him the opportunity to know anything about himself, and he grew little by little and never noticed that he got to be a big man or a big woman and was still working on these infant methods of getting his way or escaping the for dual basic urges (see website)  So he only expanded these infant methods a little bit.

So he sees that he can live with this and there isn’t any use fightin’ with it.  Now sometimes it takes a little while to discover that we cannot alter it by main strength and awkwardness, okay?  So that’s all we can do is observe and live with it.

[From Marsha…You can go through the 48 basic tapes on the website to discover more about the Picture of Man and how to apply the ideas alone with many others.     The discoveries are well worth the diligence and effort.]

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The Accumulator

(Audience participation is in parenthesis.)

(Below is an interesting excerpt from one of Dr. Bob’s workshops.)

Have you ever observed an accumulater. Some people accumulate – they have an accumulative instinct. They feel rich by accumulating “whatever” whether it’s ideas or many other things.

One time I was on Grand Avenue in St. Louis, Missouri just standin’, watching the show go by; and there was a man came down the street that had pots, pans, old pot lids, old shoes, everything tied all over his bib overalls with leather strings. Now there was trash cans sitting in front of the stores and one was a millenery store.   So he stopped and looked in there and found a ladies hat. He pulled it out, got his knife out of his pocket, punched a hole in it, got a string laced through it and tied it on.

So I’m watchin’ this and thinkin’; man, you look like so many other people only you’re doin’ it literally and they do it symbolically. They gather up lots of junk that they protect and take good care of. And so I stare at him; and pretty soon he catches my eye that I’m staring at him. So we stare at each other for quite a time. People walk by, but we keep on — we don’t lose the stare. And pretty soon he reaches up and he undoes the one string and he puts the junk in the trash can; and he goes all the way down. He had ‘em tied around his leg with leather thongs like boot straps. He undid it; and when he got the last piece off, he forced the wrinkles out of his overalls, looked at me with a face, spit, and went on.

(Bob were you giving him suggestion more than just the spirit.)

No, I was just trying to understand dear. He looked just like all the rest of the people goin’ up and down the street, — they’re accumulatin buildings and merchandise. He was just accumulatin’ junk, but it’s all the same – nobody’s gonna take it with them. And I think he suddenly realized that this looked a bit ridiculous to accumulate all this ‘cause he wasn’t gonna take it with him anyway, so he just pulled it off and put it in the trash. And he told me what he thought of me.

(You messed in his fun!) (laughter from the audience.)

I was a dirty old killjoy – He had pans and old coffee pots and everything tied all over him. The barrel was full when he got it all taken off. He must have had 25, 30, 40 pounds of this stuff piled on him.

(Man, he must have felt real good to get rid of that.)

Well, I don’t know. But he had a motive – to accumulate. Now why do we accumulate if we stop to think of it? We want to accumulate because if we accumulate, we are more secure from future pain — is that the general idea? But that also means I made a prison for myself; and now I’m inside thinking I’m protectin’ myself from future pain. So the accumulative idea is not a natural thing – it is a conditioned thing. To accumulate is to serve the first decision — I will be comfortable later, huh? Maybe I feel more secure if I can impress people. How do you feel, Joseph, when you’re struggling to accumulate?

(Nondisturbed?)

Highly disturbed! And if you do accumulate?

(You’re still disturbed.)

Because you might lose it.

(Yes, you might lose it.)

And somebody might stare at you.

(Somebody might take it away from me.)

Somebody might stare at you and you’ll have to tear it off, huh? So then the accumulation is a motive for what – for future comfort due to the first decision which is to regain the nondisturbance experienced before birth, huh?

So always the mind is planning, working, struggling in one way or another to accumulate and then after it accumulates, it struggles to maintain. Does that make any sense? Now we could ask the question, are the possessions owned by the person, or did the possessions own him.

(Oh I get it, the possessions own him.)

Okay, and so the struggle goes on and on. Now if a person looked and said, “All right, I enjoy that ocean out there just as much as if I had a title to it.” Huh? Is that joy? It’s a re-evaluation of values.

I used to live in Albuquerque, and there’s a beautiful mountain range that goes down the east side of Albuquerque called Sandia Mountain. The Simmons family owns the mountain. But you know, I enjoyed it a bit more than they did because they had to pay taxes and I didn’t. The face of that mountain turns color every afternoon – the color of a ripe watermelon which is what sandia means in some languages. I used to be sure I wasn’t gonna be busy at that time so I could enjoy it.

So can you have action from agape with the understanding that you don’t need to accumulate. Now if it is put in your charge, fine, you still haven’t accumulated it – you are using it. Sometimes we find a person greatly disturbed over the struggle to keep a house or something and they call it “my home” – and if we can get them to say “the house” or “the automobile” and, really not just say it; but understand the idea behind it. Then they are doing something for the Host. The Host says would you look after this “whatever or whoever”. Is it “mine” or does it still belong to the Host. And I’m doing it for the Host.

So this gets down to where if we can think about the new good, it is an action without a motive and we tell a little story of asking four questions — what am I, where am I, what am I doing, what have I been doing.  I’m a privileged invited guest at this beautiful estate called earth.  Life is the Host and all the other guests are like me – they’re privileged invited guests also.  I only do for the Host.  So if one of the other guests is hungry; the Host says, if you like, would you feed him – it doesn’t say I “have to” or “must” or “should” – He won’t throw me out if I don’t, so then perhaps I would choose to feed the other guest and who am I doing it for?

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