Lesson 6 (Renouncing, Mammon or 4DBU's, Greed, Vanity, Pride)
We have been observing how X functions, how I functions, how the body functions; and today we are going to start taking up the task that we will be with for a long time, but one of the most interesting tasks one ever undertook--that of I dis-identifying from the "self", from the Not-I's or "John" or "Mary" as the case may be. The words used for dis-identifying in olden times was to renounce or to dispose of. In other words, cease owning it. So if one renounces the "self," one ceases to claim it.
So to dis-identify is to cease to claim, cease to treat the same as. Another word used was deny. So I deny that "John" is I. "John" is a piece of conditioning, a whole group of "conditioned things" that make up a personality.
All personality, all of the many "I's", the aspect of "self", the "conditioning" that makes up "personality," is serving the four dual basic urges which are called in some literature :
"MAMMON"
(the urge to gain pleasure and comfort, to escape all pain--to gain attention, to avoid being ignored or rejected--to gain approval, to escape disapproval--to gain a sense of importance, to have control over other people, and to escape the sense of inferiority, or the inability to control others).
The "personality" is referred to in some material as the Scribes and the Pharisees; that "they" are intent upon having the favorable attention of men or gaining approval for "their"pious behavior, and believing and doing as "they" were told by their "authorities"--the law.
And, of course, the "A" side of that situation, the one that wants to complain to get its way, stick up for its rights and blame, was called Gentiles. But all of it makes up the "personality" and there are two aspects of it, and they are at war with each other.
Now I neither identifies with the "Scribes and Pharisees" or the "Gentiles." It renounces them. It dis-identifies from "them." The dis-identified I, merely reports what is going on in that thing called "personality."
It is now serving X which is its nature. It is the "awareness function" of X and it is being obedient to its nature supplying accurate information to X as to "what is going on."
Now the house has been taken over by "usurpers," and
The first chore of I is to observe the "usurpers,"
Report them to X, and
X will take care of rendering them inoperative, or removing them, or whatever it does.
However, one will notice that when once or twice something is really observed and reported to X, that one doesn't see that particular Not-I again. Another one will take over and be quite as effective in "its" effort to serve "mammon" but "they" will be diminishing as one observes.
Now before one takes up this dis-identifying which seems like something strange, it is different from anything that we have ever done, the first thing one does, of course, is question the purpose of living.
As long as we accept and take for granted that the purpose of living is to gain pleasure, to escape pain on all levels, to have attention and approval, to have a sense of importance, to be able to control and manipulate other people by whatever means we use, to avoid being ignored and rejected, or at least find an excellent justification that says they are pretty stupid if they did that, to always avoid disapproval, or not justify that the person who did the disapproving was "picking" on me, not seeing clearly, etc. and having a sense of inferiority. As long as these are identified with, I is hypnotized and is serving mammon because all of "them" are an effort to keep that. No matter what goes on, it is serving "mammon."
So dis-identifying is to renounce, to deny as being I, the "self." It is to dispose of it and see it as an object. Now as long as we have as the purpose of living to be non-disturbed, we are dependent upon everything that offers it, regardless of whether it be Communism, whether it be some other ideology, whether it be a person that I gain some pleasure from. If I am dependent upon that pleasure then I am dependent upon that person. Then I must guard and watch and "I" will feel jealous if that attention is given to anyone else. "I" will be fearful lest "I" lose that source of pleasant attention and there is very apt to be violence.
The inner man is in a state of violence as long as I is hypnotized by the Not-I's. As I stand aside and is the observer, dis-identified; I denies the "self", renounces the "self," and begins to report to X what is going on in that "self," what is happening in that house that was really rightfully his, but now is pushed out because "they" have taken it over. Then one is reporting to X and is obedient to one's nature. That is the greatest obedience there is and without obedience to one's nature, one is being disobedient to one's nature because one is serving "mammon" and one is dependent upon every suggestion that offers pleasure and comfort or threatens pain.
The things that one renounces, of course, is called riches, possessions. Now, let's talk about (not the house, not the car, not the property and the bank account, which the "self" does possess. We will leave it possessing those things); but let's observe that it possesses opinions which it prizes highly and considers that "my opinions are always correct, that other people's are always wrong, that "I" must defend these opinions.
You have probably observed a considerable amount of violence reported to X as you defended your opinion. When that happens a great emergency is reported and X prepares tremendous amounts of energy to defend a mere opinion that may or may not have any validity whatsoever and has no way of being checked out. It is merely one's ideas that have been accumulated here and there. They have become great possessions and great riches to the "conditioned self."
So I observes "John" defending opinions, claiming opinions, claiming ideas as "his." "He" frequently says someone stole his ideas because somebody else was doing something similar. "He" feels very mistreated and "sticks up for his rights" to have sole possession, or at least the credit or honor for that idea.
We also claim thoughts. "John" says, "My thoughts." I observe "John" claiming thoughts, and I can observe "John's" thoughts.
I may not be able to observe anyone else's, but I can observe "John's" thoughts because I am assigned to observe this earthling, this "self."
Observing those thoughts, I see that "A" puts up a thought, then "B" puts up a counter thought, and this is called "thinking." Basically they are set off by associations which is pushing a button.
"John" had his face pushed in the Bermuda grass and beat up by a neighbor kid when he was five years old. Today he is allergic to Bermuda grass because every time he goes by the Bermuda he is about to be reminded of that kid who pushed him in the grass. He has a big account against the kid, so he begins to cry, sneeze, and feel mistreated and it is said that he is allergic to Bermuda grass.
To observe thoughts is most interesting because they are set off by association.
If "A" sets off an association, then "B" gets one that counteracts it.
The person says, "I am going to do this" from "A."
Then "B" says, "Yes, but this might happen if you do this."
And then "A" begins setting up another idea as it would have another thought; and then "B" says, "Yes, but."
Or "B" originates an idea that says, "We will do a lot of good and gain a lot of, attention by giving a thousand dollars to the Boy Scouts."
"A" says, "Yes, but if you do that, we can't get the boat and we do want the boat."
"B" says, "Yes, but if we get the boat we won't be able to give the thousand dollars and somebody might say that we were just showing off."
"A" says, "But it won't be showing off, it will be providing something for the family to enjoy, and I'm getting it all for the family."
We can listen to the justifications, so I will observe thoughts. The thoughts of "A," the thoughts of "B" and the resultant contention going on between them until either "A" or "B"can overpower the other and talk in the name of I to report to X.
But now when I is observing this going on, their story is intercepted by I. I is now the mediator between "self" and X. Before, I was hypnotized and the "self" was speaking in the name of I directly to X. Now I is on the job and is the mediator who screens all the material that the "self" is rambling around with.
So there begins to be an entirely different state of affairs. No longer can the "self" report directly to X because I has awakened from its hypnotic sleep and arose from among the dead ideas and is now reporting "what is going on" in the "self."
It reports what "I" has as a treasure and where "I's" attention continually is, the false "I." The false "I" or the "self's" attention is all on the treasure of the "four dual basic urges." "It" holds "this" out as the "great treasure" and "it" continually attempts to gain it. "It" uses every contention to both "A" and "B" to get "it." The "self" is ever involved in war and it never gains the non-disturbed state; that is always held out a little bit in the future.
But as I, the real observer, begins to observe this, one realizes that the "four dual basic urges" are a fallacy. It is an illusion and the struggle towards that illusion is the disintegrating factor that has brought man to a disintegrated state of fighting jungle wars with each other,hating each other, to contending constantly--the battle going on between "A" and "B" within.
The "outward world" is merely an outward expression in society of each individual's inner state. One sees that while one is identified with the Not-I's, one is bringing about all the things that the Not-I's say they do not want.
"They" want pleasure and comfort, but they are doing everything possible to bring about dissension. "They" want attention, but "they" do everything possible to have one ignored. So as one observes this, one has a complete change in values. We will not start to work on the values yet. I is merely observing the action of the "self"--all the many Not-"I's," all the "bits of conditioning." One is observing "personality."
As one observes this, this "personality" becomes rather passive. It is an object being observed. It is a "thing" that is being observed, much as one would look through a microscope to observe bacteria on a slide. It is purely an "object" or a "thing."
Now, this is the beginning of awareness of "self." It is the beginning of SELF AWARENESS. It is the beginning of OBJECTIVE AWARENESS. Now all of our days we have been subject to whatever went on. We saw it as self. "I" was the subject and "how did this affect me?
Now as I observes the Not-"I's," I will observe "John." I will observe him building accounts against "Mary" and every other person he meets. "He" will be building accounts against the government or against someone he hears speaking out in public that is opposed to his ideas or that "he" feels in some way is a threat to "him."
I will observe "John" indulging in self-pity because of something that happened long ago or because "I" was mistreated today. Somebody failed to give attention to "John" or failed to give "him" approval when "he" felt "he" was entitled to it. He put on a good act ("he" was a Scribe or a Pharisee), but nobody really gave him any great praise for it and "he" is horribly disappointed.
I observes "Mary" (when I am the lady). I observes "Mary" being very upset because no one noticed her new dress. Now I doesn't own a dress and I doesn't own "Mary." I is observing "Mary," but "Mary" owns a dress. "Mary" has a new dress and it is very lovely, according to "Mary" and to possibly everyone else. But nobody noticed it, or gave "her" a compliment, or gave "her" approval or attention. "She" is very upset. Now all of this does not get to X anymore because I is observing this.
"Mary" takes care of the children--"her" children, if you please. I observe "Mary" feeling that the children are obligated to her because she fed them and clothed them today. She washed their clothes and "they" should be obligated to "her" and do what "she" wants them to when "she" wants them to. I might observe "Mary" making the children feel guilty. It is an excellent means of controlling. If "she" doesn't control, "she" feels inferior. If "she" controls, "she" feels pretty good. "She" is powerful now, "she" is important. The children look up to her and feel obligated to "her."
I may observe "Mary" making "John" feel obligated because "she" cooked a good dinner or because "she" cleaned up the house very well. If "John doesn't notice these things, woe be to "John." So I observes the play going on in the "bits of conditioning."
It is as though one were above a house, looking down--as though there were no roof or one was looking through a transparent roof and could see all the things going on in that house. Maybe some kids are in the bathroom making a mess. Mother is in the kitchen cooking. Another one in the house is trying to gain some approval somewhere by painting a picture, doing a piece of work, or whatever it may be. I is observing a houseful of Not-I's and about half of them are opposed and trying to undo the intentions of the other half.
One-half is serving "mammon" by complaining, sticking up for rights and blaming. The other half is trying to serve "mammon" by trying to please everybody, by believing and doing as told by authorities. "They" quote books and say, "You know this is what you should do," and "This is absolutely necessary." They try to please mammon, gain mammon, serve mammon, by appearing to be different. There is a war going on. This is called conflict. It is called struggle. It is called resistance. I observes these.
It does not try to stop them but is merely observing and reporting to X what is going on in this house. This group of Not-I's really makes up two nations--the Gentiles and the Jews.
The Jews live by the law, please everybody, believe and do as told by authorities and appear to be different.
The Gentiles say, "Hang all that!" It's important to have my way right now and the way to get it is to complain. So I will put on a demonstration in the street, I will put on a protest meeting (which is a form of complaining). I will stick up for my rights to do as I want to by any conceivable sort of violence that may arise. I will be sure and describe what is to blame.
So we are really observing people, as well as observing Not-I's because they really are people.
So we will make a chart of the Not-I's I have observed in "self" and we will keep a little running record of them. Now, if we forget, we will be reminded by news stories of protest meetings, of people sticking up for their rights, and for all the blame that you might hear as you watch the news. You will see many people blamed for someone else's difficulty.
Somebody will blame someone else for pollution, for higher prices or for inflation. Somebody will blame someone else for starting a war or not stopping a war. This will be a reminder that such is going on within and maybe that will wake I up. Now we have said that I will take a nap quite often but every little shock will tend to awaken I and put it back on the job of observing the Not-I's, the "self," "John" or "Mary."
As one observes this, one will find there is a cleaning out of the many Not-I's. I begins to think it is rather funny that all these Not-I's are so busy serving an "ideal" called "mammon,"that instead of experiencing everyday existence and living, and instead of experiencing a more conscious state of being that unknowingly each and every "one" is trying to serve an "ideal" of being non-disturbed. The "A" side and "B" contend as to the best way of gaining pleasure, gaining attention, approval and importance, being very upset if ignored or rejected, or having any pain, or any disapproval, or finding it impossible to get everyone to do what "they" want them to when they want them to.
So keep a chart:
I observed this Not-I doing so and so. This is to keep I awake. I is very weak. It has been hypnotized since shortly after birth and has not developed. It has remained weak and little.
The "personality" has taken over and "it" has become very powerful. This "personality" is serving "mammon;" one side of it has VANITY (a beautiful picture of "itself" as being very holy, righteous and wonderful), and PRIDE is on the other side defending it. It is the only place they cooperate. Pride defends vanity! Vanity is of "B" and pride is of "A."
So let's observe pride and vanity and also that when this "self" does gain a little attention, approval or pleasure or a great amount of the same, no matter how fortunate it would be from someone else's viewpoint, very quickly the greed wants more, better and different.
This is the trick of mammon. No matter how much is received by the four dual basic urges, "they"are never fully satisfied (except for a few minutes), then the greed says more, better and different.
So this week we will see that when there is gratification of the senses, the urge for attention and approval, of the power urge, the sense of importance, that it is never quite enough;and that very quickly mammon says, "That's not quite enough; let's have more, better, different or let's have it given for a different reason."
As we observe this we will see many Not-I's that will not appear again in a few days. Let's not condemn or justify them. Observe and record the Not-"I's" that I have observed.
Keep a running list of them each day. One or two may seem to you that they are the same; but they are excellent masquerade artists. One, that was attempting to please people may not appear to be gone. The whole mess of "pleaser's" won't be gone because there are many ways to please and each of them is a separate "I."
REMEMBER each piece of "conditioning" became a separate "I." So one "I" pleased by smiling, one pleased by waiting on someone, another pleaser, "I", pleased by giving compliments, another "pleaser" gave favors of various and sundry kinds; so there are many pleasing Not-I's.
There are many Not-I's that want to be "different"; they have many ways of being different and almost everything that one has heard complimented through the ages, a Not-I jumps up and says, "That's me," and begins to practice his "I."
There are many authoritative Not-I's. There are many complaining Not-I's. There are many belligerent sticking up for rights Not-I's, and oh, what a multitude of blaming Not-I's there are.
We will observe and watch the termites [not I's] cease to be quite so thick.
BELOW IS A VERBATIM TRANSCRIPT OF LESSON 6 FROM THE ORIGINAL TAPE:
The 48 Tapes – Lesson 6
(Renouncing Mammon or the 4 DBU’s, Greed, Vanity, Pride)
We have been observing how X functions, how I functions, how the body functions, and today we’re going to start taking up the task that we will be with for a long time, but one of the most interesting tasks anyone ever undertook: that of I dis-identifying from the self, from the not-I’s, from John or Mary, as the case may be.
The word used for dis-identifying in olden times was to “renounce” or “to dispose of” – in other words, cease owning it. If one renounces the self, one ceases to claim it. So to dis-identify is to cease to claim, cease to treat the same as I, to renounce it – it is no longer. Another word that was used was to “deny.” So, I deny that John is I. John is a piece of conditioning, a whole group of conditioned things that makes up a personality. Now all personality, all the many “I’s” or the aspects of self or the conditioning that makes up personality is serving the Four Dual Basic Urges, which are called in some literature Mammon – the urge to gain pleasure and comfort, to escape all pain, to gain attention, and to avoid being ignored or rejected, to gain approval and to escape disapproval, and to gain a sense of importance and control over other people and to escape the sense of inferiority or the inability to control others.
The personality is referred to in some material as the Scribes and the Pharisees – that they were intent upon having the favorable attention of man, of gaining their approval for their pious behavior and of believing and doing as they were told by authority – “The Law”. And of course the “A” side of that situation, the one that wants to complain to get its way, stick up for its rights and blame was called Gentiles. But all of it makes up the personality and there is two aspects of it, and it’s at war with each other. There is an enemy within to the enemy within. Now I neither identifies with the Scribes or the Pharisees or the Gentiles. It renounces them both. It dis-identifies from ‘em and reports merely what is going on in that thing called “personality” – it is now serving X, which is its nature. It is the Awareness Function of X and it is being obedient to its nature – to be supplying accurate information to X as to what’s going on. Now the house has been taken over by usurpers and the first chore of I is to observe the usurpers, report them to X, and X will take care of renderin’ ‘em inoperative or removing ‘em or whatever it does. However one will notice that when once or twice, when something is really observed and reported to X, that one doesn’t see that particular not-I again. Another one will take over and be quite as effective in its effort to serve mammon, but they will be diminishing – every one, one observes.
Now before one takes up this dis-identifying, which seems like something strange (it’s something different than anything we’ve ever done) the first thing one does, of course, is to question the purpose of living. As long as we accept, take for granted that the purpose of living is to gain pleasure and escape pain on all levels – having attention, having approval, having a sense of importance, being able to control and manipulate other people by whatever means we use… and to avoid being ignored or rejected (or at least find an excellent justification that says they were pretty stupid if they did that), always avoid disapproval (or if not, justify that the person that did the disapproving was picking on me, not seeing clearly, etc.) and the sense of inferiority. As long as these are identified with, I is hypnotized, is serving Mammon because all of ‘em are an effort to keep that. No matter what goes on, it is serving Mammon. So, dis-identifying is to renounce, deny as being I, the self. It is to dispose of it and see it as an object.
Now as long as we have as the purpose of living is to be non-disturbed (that of Mammon) we are dependent upon everything that offers it, regardless of whether it be Communism, whether it be some other ideology, whether it be a person that I gain some pleasure from. And if “I” am dependent upon that pleasure then “I” am dependent on the person; then “I” must guard and watch and “I” will feel jealous if they give any attention to anyone else. “I” will be fearful least “I” lose that source of pleasant attention and there is very apt to be violence. The inner man is in a state of violence as long as I is hypnotized by the not-I’s and it is asleep. As I stands aside and is the observer, dis-identifies, denies the self, renounces the self and begins to report to X what’s going on in that self, what is happening in that house that was really rightfully it but now is pushed out because they have taken over… then one is reporting to X and is obedient to one’s nature. And that is the greatest obedience there is. And without obedience to one’s nature, one is identified and being disobedient to one’s nature because one is serving Mammon and one is dependent upon every suggestion that offers pleasure and comfort or threatens pain.
Now the things that one renounces, of course, is called “riches…possessions”. Now let’s talk about not the house and the car and the property and the bank account which all the self does possess and we will leave it possessing those things. But let’s observe that it possesses opinions of which it prizes highly and considers that, “ “My” opinions are always correct and that other people’s are always wrong and that “I” must defend these opinions.” And you have probably observed a considerable amount of violence reported to X – a great emergency and X prepared tremendous amounts of energy to defend a mere opinion (that may or may not have any validity whatsoever and no way of checking it out.) One’s ideas that one has accumulated here and there are great possessions, great riches to the conditioned self. And so we observe: I observes John defending opinions, claiming opinions, claiming ideas as his. And he frequently says somebody stole his ideas because somebody else is doin’ somethin’ similar. And he feels very mistreated and he sticks up for his right to have sole possession, or at least the credit or honor for that idea. He also claims thoughts. So, John says “my” thoughts. I observe John claimin’ thoughts and I can observe John’s thoughts. I may not be able to observe anyone else’s. But I can observe John’s thoughts because I am assigned to observe this earthling, this self and I observe those thoughts. I see that “A” puts up a thought, and then “B” puts up a counter act and this is called “thinking”. And basically they’re set off by associations, which is pushing a button. So, John had his face pushed in the Bermuda grass and beat up by a neighbor kid when he was five years old. Today he is allergic to Bermuda grass because ever’ time he goes by the Bermuda, he is about to be reminded of that kid that pushed him in the grass. He has a big account against the kid. And, so he begins to cry and sneeze and feel mistreated. And it’s said that he is “allergic to Bermuda grass.”
To observe thoughts is most interesting because they’re set off by association. And when it sets off one in “A’s” association, “B” gets one that counteracts it. And the person says, “I’m going to do this” from “A”; and then “B” sits up and says, “Yes, but this might happen if you do that!” And then begins “A” to set up another idea as to what it would have another thought. Then “B” says, “Yes, but…” Or “B” originates an idea that we will do a lot of good and gain a lot of attention by giving $1000 to the Boy Scouts. But “A” says, “Yes, but if you do that we can’t get the boat and we do want the boat.” And “B” says, “Yes, but if we get the boat we won’t be able to give the $1000 and somebody might say that we were just showin’ off.” And “A” says, “But it won’t be showin’ off. It will be providing something for the family to enjoy. And I’m getting it all for the family.” And we can listen to the justifications.
So I will observe thoughts – the thoughts of “A”, the thoughts of “B” and the resultant contention going on between until one can overpower the other and talk in the name of I to report to X. But now when I is observing this going on, their story is intercepted by I. I is now the mediator between self and X. Before, I was hypnotized and the self was speaking in the name of I directly to X. Now I is on the job and is the mediator. And it screens all the material that the self is ramblin’ around with. So there begins to be an entirely different state of affairs. No longer can the self report directly to X because I has awakened from its hypnotic sleep and arose from among the dead ideas and is now reporting what is going on in the self. It reports what I has is a treasure and where I’s attention continually is – the false “I.” The false “I”, the self’s attention is all on the treasure of the Four Dual Basic Urges. It holds this out as the great treasure and it continually attempts to gain it. It uses every contention to both “A” and “B” to get it.
And the self is ever involved in war and it never gains the non-disturbed state; it’s always a little held out in the future. But as one I, the real observer, begins to observe this, one realizes that the Four Dual Basic Urges are a fallacy. It is an illusion and that the struggle towards that illusion is the disintegrating factor that has brought man to a disintegrated state from fighting jungle wars to each other, to hating each other, to contending constantly and that within, there is the battle going on between “A” and “B”. This outward world is merely an outward expression in society of each individual’s inner state. One sees that one is (while identified with the not-I’s) is bringing about all the things that the not-I’s say they don’t want. They want pleasure and comfort but they’re doing everything possible to bring about dissension. They want attention and they do everything possible to have one ignored.
So, as one observes this, one has a complete change in values. But we will not start to work on the values yet. I is merely observing the action of the self, all the many not-I’s, all the bits of conditioning. One is observing personality. As one observes this, this personality becomes rather passive. It is as an object being observed. It is a thing that is being observed much as one would look through a microscope and observe bacteria on a slide. It is purely an object or a thing. Now this is the beginning of awareness of self. The beginning of self-awareness is the beginning of Objective Awareness. Now all of our days we have been subject to whatever went on. We saw it as self – “I” was the subject. “And how did this affect me? How did this affect?”
Now as I observe the not-I’s, I observe John, I will observe him building accounts against Mary and against ever’ other person he meets. He will be building accounts against the government. He will be building accounts against someone that he hears speak out in public that is opposed to his ideas that he feels in some way is a threat to him. He will see him… I will observe John indulging in self-pity because of something that happened long ago and because he was mistreated today. Somebody failed to give attention to John. Somebody failed to give approval when he felt he was entitled to it. He put on a good act; he was a Scribe or a Pharisee and nobody really gave him any great praise for it. He’s horribly disappointed.
Mary, I observe Mary (when I’m the lady), I observe Mary being very upset because no one noticed her new dress. Now I doesn’t own a dress. And I doesn’t own Mary. I is observing Mary. But Mary owns a dress and Mary has a new dress and it’s very lovely accordin’ to Mary (and possibly to everbody else) but, “Nobody noticed it and nobody gave her a compliment and nobody gave her any approval or attention and she’s very upset.” Now all this does not get to X anymore because I is observing this. Mary takes care of the children (“her” children, if you please) and I observes Mary feeling that the children are obligated to her because she fed them and clothed them today and she washed their clothes and they should be obligated to her and do what she wants ‘em to, when she wants ‘em to. And we might, I might observe Mary making the children feel guilty. It is an excellent means of controlling. And if she doesn’t control, she feels inferior. If she controls, she feels pretty good – she is powerful now, she is important. The children look up to her and feel obligated to her. I observe Mary making John feel obligated because she cooked a good dinner or because she cleaned the house up very well. And if John doesn’t notice these things, woe be to John.
So, I observes the play going on in the bits of conditioning. It is as though one were above a house and looking down into a house that had no roof or a transparent roof and could see all the things going on in that house. Maybe some kids are in the bathroom makin’ a mess and Mother’s in the kitchen, cookin’, and another one is trying to gain some approval somewheres by painting a picture or by doing a piece of work or whatever it may be. One I is observing a house full of not-I’s, which about half of ‘em are opposed and trying to undo the intentions of the other half. One half is serving Mammon by complainin’, stickin’ up for rights and blaming; the other half is trying to serve Mammon by trying to please everbody, by believing and doing as they are told by authority. And they quote books and say, “You know this is what you should do and this is the necessity and this is absolutely necessary!” And they try to please Mammon, gain Mammon, serve Mammon by appearing to be different. And there is a war going on.
This is called conflict. It is called struggle. It is called resistance. I observe these and does not try to stop them, but is merely observing and reporting to X of what’s going on in this house. This group of not-I’s really make up two nations, the Gentile and the Jews. The Jews live by the law: please everbody, believe and do as you’re told by authority, and appear to be different. The Gentile says, “Hang all that! It’s important to have my way right now and the way to get it is to complain. So I will put on a demonstration in the streets. I will put on a protest meeting (which is a form of complainin’). I will stick up for my rights to do as I want to by any conceivable sort of violence that may arise. I will be sure and describe what’s to blame.” So we’re really observing peoples as well as observing not-I’s, because they really are people.
So, we will make us a chart: The not-I’s I have observed in self. And we will keep a little running track of ‘em. Now we will get reminded if we forget, we will be reminded by news stories of protest meetings, of people stickin’ up for their rights, and for all the blame that you might hear as you read or watch the news. You will see many people being blamed for everbody else’s difficulty. Somebody will blame somebody else for pollution. Somebody else will blame somebody else for higher prices, for inflation. Somebody will be blamin’ somebody for starting a war or not stopping a war. And this will be a reminder that such is going on within and maybe that will wake I up.
Now we said that I would take a nap quite often. But ever’ little shock will tend to awaken I and put it back on the job of observing the not-I’s, the self, John, Mary. And as one observes this, one finds there is a cleaning out of many of the not-I’s. I begins to think it’s rather funny that all these not-I’s are so busy serving an ideal called Mammon – the ideal that instead of experiencing everyday existence and living, and experiencing a more conscious state of being, that unknowingly each and every one is trying to serve an ideal of being non-disturbed, of gaining pleasure, gaining attention, gaining approval and importance, and being very upset if they’re ignored or rejected, or have any pain or are disapproved of, or find it incapable to get everyone to do what they want them to do when they want them to do.
So, we will keep us a chart, a nice sheet of paper. And I observe this not-I doing so and so. I observe this not-I doing so and so. This is to keep I awake. The chart being around the house will remind I to get back on the job.
I is very weak. It’s been hypnotized since shortly after birth and it has of course not developed; it has remained weak. It has remained little while the personality has taken over and has become very powerful. And as one observes this personality that is serving Mammon and that one side of it has Vanity (it has a beautiful picture of itself as being very holy, very righteous, very wonderful) and Pride is on the other side defending it, it’s the only place that they cooperate: Pride defends vanity. Vanity is of “B” and Pride is of “A”. So, let’s observe Pride and Vanity.
We will also observe this self that when it does gain a little attention, or a little approval, or a great pleasure, or a great amount of attention, or a great amount of approval, no matter how fortunate it would be from someone else’s viewpoint, it is very quickly that Greed makes it want more, better, and different. This is the trick of Mammon, the Four Dual Basic Urges. No matter how much they should receive, they are never fully satisfied except for a very few minutes. And then the greed says more, better, and different.
And let’s observeGreedonly in this particular week, along with watchin’ the not-I’s. We’ll see that when there is gratification of the senses, gratification of the urge to have attention, gratification of the urge for approval and even gratification of the power urge, the sense of importance that it’s never quite enough. And that very quickly Mammon says, “But that’s not quite enough. Let’s have more. Or let’s have better. Or let’s have different. Or let’s have it given for a different reason.” And as we observe this we will see many not-I’s that will not appear again in a few days. So let’s observe them. Let’s do not condemn or justify them. We observe and record: “What not-I’s I have observed this day.” And each day we will keep a runnin’ list of ‘em.
Now, one or two may seem to you that it’s the same one but they’re excellent masquerade artists, so one that was attemptin’ to please people may appear not to be gone. Now the whole mess of pleasers won’t be gone because there’s many ways to please and each one of ‘em is a separate “I”. Remember that each piece of conditioning became a separate “I”. So one “I” pleased by smiling, another “I” pleased by waiting on someone, another pleaser “I” pleased by giving compliments, another pleasing not-I gave favors of various and sundry kinds. So, there is many pleasing not-I’s. There is many “I’s” that want to be different; they have many different ways of being different. Almost everything that one has heard complemented through the ages, a not-I jumped up and says, “That’s me!” and he begin to practice his art. And there is many authoritative not-I’s, there is many complaining not-I’s, there is many belligerent, stickin’ up for rights not-I’s and oh, what a multitude of blaming not-I’s they are.
We will observe and watch the termites cease to be quite so thick.