Workshop - Albion Workshop 1972 - Page 3 of 4
CD 4 of 7: Albion 1972
[CD 4 begins by repeating the last few seconds of CD 3]
… or are you just conditioned? Period. If I conditioned you so that you would never steal and you didn’t steal is that because you’re holy and righteous or just because you’re conditioned? Hmm?
(Because you know what’s right.)
You know what’s right. You’ve been conditioned to know what’s right. Mm-hmm. And if we conditioned you to steal, but not get caught (laughter) – you did a good job of liftin’ and didn’t get caught, would you be good or just conditioned? A good thief or just conditioned? Huh?
(Just conditioned.)
Just conditioned, huh? That’s all. In other words if we take a horse and we condition it to do thus and so, is it a conscious, good horse or is it just a conditioned horse? Hmm? We used to condition horses. My dad had as one of his occupations was raisin’ 5-gated saddle horses, and these horses had to be “broke” they called it, which means well trained, before they were sold because they brought a much better price then.
So we conditioned these horses from the day they were born to be under control. The first day they were born they got a halter. The next day they got a lead put on them – a little halter – and then you begin to lead them and then you’ve allowed em so that they were always free to have somethin’ on their back – you just throwed a little rug up there at first – and all this so they were gentle. Now was this because they were good horses or purely conditioned horses?
(Conditioned.)
Conditioned horses, right – purely mechanical little beings. Yes, dear, what you want?
(There’s a certain amount of conditioning though that’s necessary.)
Fine. You take all you want, honey. And…
(And…)
Have all you want. It’s all right with me, I don’t mind. So take the exact amount that you want.
(Well no, you take that out…)
Is all you take is your necessary part. I don’t want to take a child; I’ve had enough of ‘em. (Laughter) So when we look at what you want, do you want to be conditioned or are you… see that all of this routine is what? You are philosophying for something called understanding. Hmm? Have you looked for that a lot, Joy?
(Mm-hmm.)
And your kids to have it above all.
(Right.)
If they had that you wouldn’t have to worry about them so much.
(Right)
But, durn em, they won’t understand. Because they have different explanations for their behavior than you do. Hmm?
(Yeah.)
Brats, aren’t they?
(Yep) (Laughter) (Though since I…)
They are awful pretty brats.
(Since I talked to you, Dr Bob, I think they’re pretty okay.)
You think they are. Well, I found out they were. They’re all right with me. Okay, so let’s have questions about understanding. Now that’s one of the major obstructions to looking at a gift that is handed to you is that you take off on a tangent to understand. So let’s take off on what we’re gonna understand for a while now. What do you want to understand, Jill?
(Myself.)
Now when you start understanding, you’re lookin’ for an explanation for you. There is no explanation for you, Jill. (Laughter) It’s just a simple fact – you’re there, okay? But, do you need an explanation for you? Well, turn that off. (Laughter)
(She’s pretty smart.)
She’s on the ball. Now, she’s what’s goin’ on and the ole man wants to listen to the thing. I got a pretty note from her husband one day. He wrote me a letter, unbeknownst to Jill I’m sure, and said that he wanted to thank me. That I had, it had been rumored, that I had told Jill McBeth one time to depend on direct communication rather than unreliably developed telecommunication. What’s it… tela…? Telepathy.
(Telepathy.)
Telepathy. She used to think that he ought to understand what she wants and we finally said, “Just tell him, durn it!” and he thanked me for that. He was glad ________. He wrote me a note one day – yeah! And he said he was so thankful that Jill McBeth had heard that it was much more reliable to say, “I want a new coat,” than to sit and think, “He’s ‘sposed to pick it up.” (Laughter) You might try it with a little more direct; it might even work. He likes it that way. So he wrote and told me thank you.
(This doesn’t always get to see my standards, right?)
Right. It fits em all, dear. (Laughter) Now he will __________ (More Laughter) Now, we got the kids thing down, if we can just…
(No, we haven’t!)
… get her husband straightened out, why joyous Joy will be filled.
(But did she say whathe wanted?)
Well…
(Throw more hints. It’s hard, it’s kinda hard when you have to throw lotsa little hints back, you know.)
Well, you pick up a hint and say what does this hint mean? (Laughter)
(You ought to know what it means.)
Right. The joys of wedded life. (Laughter) Sounds like par for the course, dear, because everbody knows that they should be understood. And isn’t this one of your greatest gripes is that “he don’t understand me.”
(Well, I don’t know about that, I could care less whether he understands. I’d just like to know what’s going on in his brain once in a while.)
Well, that’s the same difference. (Laughter.)
(I’d think that after you, after you’ve lived with a woman for quite a few years, like he has, that you understand some of it.)
(Do you?)
Think you…
(You’d understand some of it)
Well, you can catch on that when they get all down in the mouth, they’ll liable to start gritchin’ pretty soon. I’ve figured that out. But not every time; sometimes they just pout.
So let’s take: what would you like to understand? Teako, what would you like to understand?
(Nothing.)
Nothin’. Isn’t that a peaceful way to live? You can see what’s goin’ on, kick it, respond to it, do what, but you don’t have to explain it to anybody. (Laughter) Hmm? Paul, you like to understand? What do you want to understand, sir?
(Uh…) (Laughter)
Paul, you’re not the common participant. (Laughter) Anything that I must steal, you should do is be honest with me.
(It wasn’t even worth it.) (Laughter)
That runs so false, I just couldn’t…
(I’m not looking for anything.)
How about understanding?
(Come again?)
How about understanding, sir?
(No, sir.)
You’re through with those now. But you have spent a few hours working on ‘em. How ‘bout you, Valina? What do you need to understand, dear?
(That I can get ___.)
Well, come around and I’ll give you an explanation. I’ll charge you fifty cents apiece. [skip in tape] And you can just get along on fact. Hmm? Here. Then you don’t need any understanding and what kind of a state of being do you experience when you can only say “that’s a fact”?
(Peaceful.)
It’s real peaceful, isn’t, Joy? But, if you could just get him to understand that he don’t need to understand you, then– [chuckling]
(All I want him to do is to just tell me what wants and then I’ll decide whether I’m going to go along with it or not.) (Laughter)
That’s just what he’s sayin’. (Laughter) Augie?
(If it’s not accepting everything’s a fact, you know…)
Mm-hmm.
(That seems like, uh…)
No we didn’t say “accept it” – just see it – as what degree of it you see as fact, that’s what’s fact to you, is it not?
(Yeah, it’s looking like some evolution of the mind.)
It probably would if you just looked at facts and didn’t go off into all these tangents of explanations, you might see an awful lot more facts. It would be interesting to experiment for with a few days to see what would happen if you just observed facts and didn’t waste all the hours of mental effort in explaining.
Let’s see how many more facts you might see. And that if you see enough facts you might see relationships. I said you might, I don’t know. It might get more confused. If you don’t, well you can always go back to explanations. But it would be an interesting experiment just to approach this is what I see here, period – this is it – and not look for an explanation for it. Jerry, did you have a question, sir?
(Yeah, the fact is what leads to the logical.)
Well, not until after you start tryin’ to understand the facts. Until you let em alone, why you don’t have any inductive logic on them.
(You don’t have any logic at all.)
No. You just see em and pretty soon you see a relationship that maybe nobody else has ever seen. When you start logicin’ then you’re trying to understand, is that right? Whether you’re deductive or inductive. Either one. Huh? Put ‘em down. But when you see enough facts, pretty soon there is clarity. You’ve probably, many of you, read a Zen book and the guy’s been tryin’ to find understanding for years. And one day the Zen master hit him over the head with a stick or bent his nose off and all of a sudden he had enlightenment, you know. He got to a fact with no explanation. What, dear?
(Now, Doctor Bob, when you talk about fact you’re talking about “What is.”)
To you.
(What is, not like…)
To you.
(…the fact that is a statistic.)
Oh well, that’s…
(You’re talking about a fact that is something.)
There’s a cup sittin’ in front of you and you got your hands out like this.
(Yeah.)
Okay?
(What is.)
That’s your highway gone and your gold jacket and red shirt. Okay?
(What’s your opinion of statistics?) (Laughter)
That’s so far out I haven’t even thought about it. I’ll tell you they’re of great value to me when I wanna prove somethin’. (Laughter)
(Give them the pickle demonstration.)
Huh?
(Give them the pickle demonstration on statistics.)
I don’t have the paper here. Does anyone have it? Huh? Who’s got the pickle demonstration? There was…
(I don’t have it here, Bob.)
Well, at any rate. One time down in Salt Lake City was givin’ a workshop. Some of you were there. And they got off on a health food kick, you know. What they should eat and what they didn’t and what might kill you and so forth. And I demonstrated to everbody – fact – that everbody who drank water had died. So it must be that water was the great…gets em all to it. And that everybody that got sick had been drinkin’ water. You were there weren’t ya, honey? And one poor lady said, “What are we gonna drink?” You know… (Laughter)
Thank goodness I do have a few straight men when I go around to give a talk. It does make it kinda interesting. But at any rate, a few days ago we had one very similar. Somebody brought in a statistic on – I think it was Linda – on pickles that demonstrated that pickles was the cause of all the trouble in the world. That ever nation uses pickles has been involved in war, so it is the cause of war, this pickle eatin’. And that everbody who had been involved in crime was indicated to have consumed a pickle within at least the last year. So it is the cause of all crime. And that every divorce that’s been brought about in a country was in families who had used pickles at one time or another, so pickles were the cause of divorces. And this went on to ever conceivable situation that one could devise. You see, to establish a cause/effect relationship, which is never correct because there is no such phenomena in this world, is of course an effort to understand – which means “I then will know what to blame.” There is only relationships and no cause/effect and all philosophy is on establishing a cause/effect relationship.
So if you drink water and you have been sick, is there a connection between that? The first man who ever came to the United States and had not seen a rabbit, saw a rabbit run by and then a dog came by chasin’ it and he said rabbits was the cause of dogs. Cause a rabbit came by and then the dog. And of course, you’ve all heard the story of which came first, the chicken or the egg. And if you’re gonna establish a cause and effect relationship, you are already not in workable arrangement because there is no such idea in reality as cause and effect. This is a concept and one of which, if it’s cause, it’s to blame. And if you will notice that most people maintain that everything and everybody else is cause and they’re poor little victims. Aren’t you?
(Mm-hmm.)
You’re a “victim” and everybody else is “cause.”
(Right.)
They’re conscious and able to do what they wanna do and you’re victimized by it, right?
(That’s right.)
That’s the way it goes. So then most philosophy and understanding is to prove that I’m a victim and you’re cause. “You made me mad,” somebody says, huh? Now, how could I make you mad? I’m cause over your emotions and your responses and you are the poor victim, you poor little thing. Hmm?
(I know.)
(Right.)
Somethin’ made me fat. So something is cause and I’m the poor victim of all this weight.
(I’ve been waiting for you to say that.)
Right. I knew you would feel at home now. Happy somebody has understood her that she is a victim of something, an unknown demon that pours pounds on her while she sleeps.
(Absolutely, ask Darrol. Overnight I gained four pounds.)
Right! You just, those demons just plump it under her skin at night and she gets up and can barely waddle of a mornin’. Huh? (Laughter) If she goes long enough to Darrol’s lectures at Dr. Brown’s health spas, no doubt some of ‘em will get more. Okay? What do you want to understand, Bill?
(Nothing.)
Nothin’, fine; quite peaceful. What do you do want to understand?
(You ignored me a few minutes ago.)
Right, why?
(I’d like to know why. Ah, um... Conditioning, are we to ignore or… We have to condition our children.)
No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you to go ahead.
(I know, but…)
I didn’t ignore your question. I answered it to your satisfaction.
(It was not to my satisfaction.)
That, you were absolutely correct, so go ahead.
(Uh, our children must learn this.)
How do you know?
(Well, uh…)
Didn’t you steal when you was a kid? Didn’t you steal when you was a kid? (she chuckles) Right, you lived over it. It’s all right. You must condition ‘em to be good so they will be moral, huh? They’re good. I don’t know whether you have to do that or not, but I said you go ahead and do it. It’s all right; you can condition your kids all you want to. I don’t have any. And you said take your kids and I sure don’t want ‘em.
(You can have mine, too.)
Pretty Donna came to me one day and said, “What would you do with a wife and five kids up in Albion?” I said God forbid I haven’t ask for it yet. (Laughter) The lady and her five kids can come, but she was so used to being a wife, so conditioned to be a wife for so many years that she automatically thought of all females as wives. Is that right, Donna? Huh? They’re not necessarily, I’ve discovered, honey.
(I’m not.)
You’re not one, huh?
(No, I’m not.)
What are you?
(Well, I guess I would consider myself free.)
Free.
(Mm-hmm.)
Well, I’m glad you could say it. (Laughter) Okay, another question, comment – on understanding, is the question.
(I need understanding about when explanations are the difference between the man-made world and the real word in terms of fact.)
Well, they’re both facts. The only thing is that you can set a standard for a nut and a bolt. Hmm? Half-inch bolt or a half-inch ____ radiator they have all over the place or whatever size they are, huh? Ah, I can’t set the standard for you unfortunately. I’d like to someday, Zero, probably… (Laughter) Put you in a little mold, and squeeze you up, and turn you out and make a salesman out of you. But, really I wouldn’t.
(Well, my question is… we do need, in my experience, to use logic and explanations…)
Oh, yes!
(…to describe the fact.)
To earn a living, too, many times. I’ve used them very profitably, sir.
(They seem to be very appropriate for the man-made world.)
For what most people want to hear, yes. If a patient comes in and says, “Why am I fat?” you better have a good explanation. If you just say, “Well, apparently you eat too much and don’t move,” you wouldn’t have any patients here anymore. So by all means, lay on an explanation. But, know what you are doing – that you’re playing the authority role and that you’re…
(But, I…)
… just strictly to make money.
(No, the question isn’t about people in the real world.)
Okay.
(It’s about technical things.)
Okay.
(Computers.)
Computers, all right.
(Bolts and nuts.)
Bolts and nuts; they all work. The fact is this does this and that does that. You could explain to me all day long why the threads on a nut won’t go it on, a nut won’t go on a bolt in the opposite direction and it really don’t make any difference. It just don’t – period. A right hand thread, you have to twist the nut in one direction. If it’s a left hand thread you put it in the other one. You tell me it won’t go on, that’s all right.
(But, you think about that and use logically to figure out…)
You would. I know, but I don’t. I just quit tryin’. I’d drop it. You would like to be figurin’ it out and explain it. And there probably is more than one explanation why it didn’t go on – I know that. But the fact is it don’t fit, hmm? And, if you put a wrong size fuse in a big line, it blows. And if you tied two transformers together with a short in ‘em, it blows ‘em up instantly. I know, $300 worth of em. Why? I haven’t the foggiest. And you know somethin’? It wouldn’t fix those transformers if I did know. Even Gary don’t know “why” – it just blowed, didn’t it, Gary? Two brand new transformers went up – poof! When it blowed cause they tied em together.
(Okay, now let me…)
(You had an explanation for that then, so now you know.)
No, I don’t know an explanation; they don’t either. Neither one of ‘em had tied ‘em together. The only thing is I know one thing – don’t let Gary and this city electrician fiddle with your transformers. (Laughter)
(That’s a fact.)
That’s a fact. But, I don’t know why and they don’t know why and the whole thing is it blowed and it wouldn’t change a thing if I knew twenty, about it, explanations as to why. It blowed.
(But, knowing the why would prevent that from doing that same thing all over again.)
(That’s right, I can… )
It wouldn’t.
(…helps if I don’t forget.)
You wanna bet?
(Yeah.)
You let those guys try it again. (Laughter) You figure it out “why” all day long. Only know what they did. They’re remote sure about that, I don’t think, as to what they did. Except the transformers blew up. Now, was the transformers did it; it wasn’t the electricians by any means, was it, Gary?
(Oh, I didn’t blow it up. It blew up by itself!)
No, it blew it up all by itself.
(Ah, ha. He’s avoiding responsibility.)
Right, you name it, girl – give an explanation. (laughter) But what I would rather is for somebody give us $300 for the transformers. If you could get by at great difficulty, load it in a van, and haul it out here. Lasted long enough to go pshew! Rich hung ‘em up, broke off my day off and we got ‘em in the van and toted ‘em up here and they go pshew! I’d like for somebody to… the only thing that would really explain to me is if somebody would give me 300 bucks. Then I’d feel real nice about it. Then I could care less that there’s two tin cans out there full of oil and some burnt wire. (Laughter)
(Okay, so you’ve got a, you’ve got a time bomb and it’s going and you’re in the same room with it and you can’t escape.)
You have one…
(And don’t want to wait.)
Do you have one or are you just assumin’ this, a story?
(Assuming.)
Why, we’ve said we’re stickin’ to facts.
(Oh, oh.)
You assume it was; you don’t know what you’d do if that bomb is under you and you’ll never know until you are there in the real situation and then I’ll see what you’d do. But in the meantime you will logicate all over the place with all these great wonderful minds.
(Okay, but if you happen to know that a certain size screwdriver will fit in there because you’ve noticed it before, that’s a fact, the fact or an explanation…)
Well, the fact is if it fits, it fits. But, the point is that if it’s goin’ off in a second, will you stick the screwdriver in there even or are you even pickin’ em up and layin’ em down? (Laughter) Who knows. You’ll never know until you are faced with the actual situation. This is the funny thing about all these long drawn out explanations. You’ll never know what you’re gonna do about anything until you are faced with it. What would you do if I had this chair here and… hmm? (laughter) You’ll never know until I grab it. Hmm?
(Oh, yes we would. We would all just flinch, wouldn’t we? It’s an automatic reaction…)
Well let’s find out! (Laughter) You’re not flinching, you’re tryin’ to fight it off.
(Because it’s not what I was expecting, you see.)
Right, so then you see you never know because each circumstance is different. There is no reason to come up with all the whys and the hows and the philosophy because there’s never two duplicate situations. You’ll never be in the exact place twice.
(_____________ it’d be the same thing.)
No, no. No. Wouldn’t be a reason of doin’ that. Neither will Bob buy two more of em. That’s the main thing. Huh?
(In other words we spent half our lives chasing…)
Half?
(… what ifs?)
Half. Half, honey? Ninety-nine percent of it, so we live one minute and explain the past, which is to be dead. And over and over, and we theorize about the future and we live precious little. So the question is not is there life after death, but is there life after birth, honey. (laughter) Okay?
(Oh, that’s a good one.)
(How do you teach a kid to read time on the clock if you don’t give him an explanation?)
How would I? I wouldn’t. I hope he never figures it out. (Laughter) Right. Gary, little friend over here’s looking for you in the door. Come in, little lady. Joy, how in the world are you? One extra Joy in the house now. We got another one here.
(woman sings) (Joy to the world…)
(See ya, later.)
Take care now. See how easy it is to move a man right out. Now, why did he do that?
(Laughter) (Joy chased him out) (more laughter) (He wanted to experience joy!)
There goes another one. You see now, what was the relationship between the person and the event? (laughter) Something about it. (more laughter) One man got up and run out the door and then another one jumped up and run out. Now what was the relationship that’s caused that? Hmm? You saw it. (laughter) Now the fact is that one went out and then another one followed, or went out two. I don’t even know if he even followed him or not – he just went out. But, now that’s enough. We know that’s quite all right. Now you have nothin’ to worry, fret over or anything. But, if you throw the question, “Why did he do that?”…
(Or even, where’s he going.)
You could come up with all sorts of reasons. Now, was he mad? He took off fast. Hmm?
(There could be a lot of reasons.)
On and on and on we could go. Let’s take a few minutes break while we rest from understanding a minute. [jump in tape] Rest from understanding a minute.
[Continuing after break]
(It’s just a basic urge.)
Is that what it was?
(I don’t know how to do what one, except to a how.)
That’s right, that’s dual then.
So let’s talk about something that many people are hoping to achieve – a word called “integration,” which merely means oneness. Duality, it’d be more than one and most of us feel somewhat of a duality, you know. I and myself have arguments all day long and various things like that. We want to have oneness. Sometimes we could call it union with God. We could call it understanding Life and a thousand other words the person comes along and says. But, somewheres there is a feeling in most individuals that they are dual or triple and that they would like to understand oneness.
Now, generally this is thought of as an attainment – possibly it is – but an attainment that is the natural state of every person, so it is not something one struggles toward. To set it as a goal and to start strugglin’ towards it is to misunderstand the whole direction. It is to miss the point.
Now, if one looked at it and said, “What is the obstruction to me realizing this oneness?” one might get a little closer to the point. Now, all of these things are the natural state of man because you’re not gonna achieve any unnatural states anyway. The natural state of a being is oneness.
We call ourselves individuals and usually are very divided. Individual somewhat refers to undivided or in-dividable, undividable, and we talk about a universe and then we always think in opposites.
Now, if we were to consider what is the obstruction to this oneness, this union or completeness, which is another word for “perfected” is to be complete. Now, as long as we are divided we haven’t completed. So let’s see if what we could start with in trying to give us some viewpoint of the obstruction to this oneness. Now, the oneness maybe is already there, but we’ve never realized it, so it’s not much use to us.
Let’s take the old friend, “The Vicious Cycle.” So a misconception is up here on top. A misconception results sooner or later in a false feeling of emergency, which keeps us in a state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension, which requires an adaptation. An adaptation is in either of two forms – unusual cellular activity, which is the gradual wearing out of a person, which leads to unusual sensations and primary tissue cell alteration or breakdown, right Chuck?
(Right on.)
The other one would be unusual behavior. Now, any unusual behavior is any anxiety that one experiences is an unusual behavior. It may be very common, but it’s unusual. It is a perversion of the state of man. Now it starts with a misconception up here at the top. You can start anywheres, but we’ll start on the top end of the cycle. Now, if a misconception is that “I have to attain something by certain exercises,” now we will begin the exercises, eh? – whatever these “exercises” may be. Have you tried any exercises? We talked about one this mornin’ – praying without ceasing. That’s a pretty good exercise. Some people try what they call “meditation” – sittin’, star-gazin’. Some attempt to be still for a length of time, right Teako? Any kind of exercise is supposed to go on to bring about a great revolution within me. Did you ever try any particular kind besides ____ sun? Any exercises that you have indulged in along the way to enhance your spiritual state?
(Mm-hmm.)
What was it? Chasin’ girls? (Laughter)
(Prayer.)
Prayer, okay.
(Karate.)
So when we start with these, we start with a misconception that it is something I can accomplish, a given exercise or a given accomplishment. It may be able to do this, that, or the other; some people use it as a mental, some uses physical, and some a combination thereof. Did you ever attempt to concentrate? You know, if you wanna learn about concentration you watch a cat sittin’ waitin’ for a mouse to come by. He’s really with it, you know. But, he’s not worryin’ about himself. So when we start out to accomplish anything, we get a false feeling of emergency. Am I doing this right? Am I accomplishin’ this? Am I puttin’ in enough time at it? Am I praying properly? Am I concentrating sufficiently? Am I meditating properly or is this the way to meditate? Any of you ever work on those little scores any? Any of ‘em?
(I tried to become spiritually minded.)
And, how’s that, girl? Did you know what it was?
(I was supposed to become as near to God as I could.)
And how did you go about doin’ that?
(Oh, by doing everything that my authorities told me to do.)
And doing what your authorities and officials do. Believe and do what you’re told by your authorities and officials.
(Fasting, praying…)
And all this good stuff. So, then you tried that. Now then you get this false feeling of emergency from wondering whether you’re doing the right thing, or you adequately; you might come up feeling a little guilty, or feeling regret, or feeling determination that you’re going to do more, huh? Then you get into a state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension, which is that the body is loaded with chemicals to prepare you to fight or run. Huh?
(I always played a very good one. I try to feel how I’m supposed to feel about certain things.)
And how are you supposed to feel about certain things, honey? Supposed to love kids even though there’s gritchin’?
(Mm-hmm.) (You know, that’s really something.)
Mm-hmm. You’re workin’ on this and you know this is the way it is and then you never quite feel that way and then you pick on little ‘ole Donna and get the guilty feelin’s and full of chemicals. And then of course you require the adaptation.
(Unusual behavior.) (laughter)
Unusual behavior. Of course your first wife was like that other guy I was talkin’ about – she was perfect. But, this one here…
(No, no.)
(No, she was just like me. Almost like the second one.)
(Just almost exactly like her.)
What’d you get that one for then? (laughter)
(I didn’t learn my lesson the first time – I knew that!)
You didn’t quite learn it, then. You’re still on the way. Yeah, well, you teach him, honey.
(I will!)
She’s pretty good at it. I’ve watched her operate for several years, now. She’s a pretty good teacher. She’s led women along. (Laughter)
(She’s on her way.)
Right, she’s gettin’ there. So when we go around this, then we have all the obstructions. Now the obstructions to this oneness are fairly simple. It can all be summed up very easily in sayin’,
“Whenever I make anything important, I’ve got a misconception,” because there isn’t anything important in this world. Not even you, Jill. Is it important that you be happy? Is it important that you be healthy? Is it important that you find this or that state of being? Maybe you already have it if you weren’t strugglin’ so hard to get something. Is it very possible? And this is only a little experiment to find out what happens to you when you’re not trying to achieve a goal or something. Have you tried that in the last few days, Cecil?
(Yeah.)
What happened?
(Me? I just…)
You can’t describe it, but you don’t want to change it, is that all right?
(Yeah.)
You wanna go back to chasin’ goals.
(No.)
No, and that doesn’t mean that you can’t accomplish anything. It doesn’t mean you can’t go to school and study. And it don’t mean that you can’t earn dollars and can’t chase pretty girls or whatever the case may be. Is that right? You can go do that, but they’re not important – they’re only interesting things to do. Is that all right? But once you set off, then you find that there is no conflict within yourself. There is no controller and controlled. Now if you’re going to try to accomplish a certain thing, one of you is the controller; you split yourself in two pieces – all of a sudden – the controller and the controlled. And that control just bumps us back, don’t it, Ann?
(Mm-hmm.)
And the controller gets very frustrated. And there’s war in the household, hmm? Right in here, right? So this is the struggle that we start on. Now we ask innumerable questions. We put questions to I, and that changes us into two people suddenly called the “interrogator” and the “interrogate.” And it’s much like trying to play checkers. You set a checkerboard up and you put the black checkers on one side and the red ones on the other and you’re gonna play the black ones with your right hand and the red ones with your left hand, hmm? And ever time you make a move the other side blocks it, doesn’t it. So there’s no game; you just block up there, you know, right? And so, when you…”I” puts a question to I, “I” won’t accept the answer as being valid. Will it, Darryl?
(No.)
Because you know it seems like playin’ checkers: “I already blocked that, I already thought of that and turn around and block that and I won’t have that.” So this goes on as the interrogator and the interrogated. Did you ever put a question to I? “I” put a question to I? How’d it come out?
(Well, it was always… I never stopped asking questions when I do that.)
And so you just keep on goin’ and goin’…
(Until I realize what’s happened.)
Very frustrated and struggling and you know you gotta get down here and in…
(Yeah, till I realized what’s happening.)
And then when do you do that, what do you do?
(Okay!)
Just laugh about it and let it be. Quit playin’ that game. Huh?
(I, I…)
Quit playin’ with yourself for a while.
(Er, yeah, right.)
So…
(I tried to play it with her, but…) (Giggles & laughter.)
She don’t want to play that game.
(That’s it, she don’t wanna play.)
Right.
(His whole problem.)
She’s____ a little bit. So, when you go around this little horn of did you… or set a goal,
no matter what it is – to be spiritual-minded; that’s a projection – you’re goin’ after it. And then you gotta be the controller that goes after it and the controlled who isn’t quite doin’ it, is that right, Jean? It’s always slippin’ off subject. Just… What?
(Well, I don’t play that game anymore anyway.)
Well, I know you quit playin’ that game. What game do you play, Ann, mostly? Is there anything that you’ve got to achieve in order to have something else? Some great state of being – to be spiritual or to be integrated or to be in union with God or what-have-you. You see, obviously everybody’s in union with God or there wouldn’t be any breathin’ goin’ on cause you don’t know how to breathe. There wouldn’t be any hearts beatin’ cause you don’t know how to beat em. And so obviously it’s already there. But the only thing, we never realized it because we’re so busy chasin’ some ideal that we’ve gotta have that will be so wonderful. How about that, brother Paul?
(It sounds very true.)
Sounds true. How do you tell whether it sounds true or not? What’s your criterion?
(I have… uh… struggle.)
Struggle. You’ve experienced struggle.
(You… yeah, oh yeah.)
Good, what’d you catch? Flu? (laughter) What about you, brother Chuck?
(Oh, a lot of horseshit.) (laughter)
Another word that starts with an “h.” (laughing) Okay, so, when we’re goin’… [chuckles]… with it, what are you strugglin’ for? Now, I would say that we’re either strugglin’ for something or you’re already realize there isn’t anything that would need to be different, changed, or now what-have-you in this world. You have what’s been called “attained.” What are you strugglin’ for, dear one? Happiness?
(I, I,..)
Romance?
(Uh, well I have been.)
You have been.
(But, I think I’m gonna give it up.) (Laughter)
Set that aside. What are you strugglin’ for, Darrol? You’ve been wantin’ to come to a school so you could catch on to somethin’. What did you hope to achieve or accomplish? You wanted this achievement. You wanted to achieve. What did you want?
(Integration.)
And integration is something that is gonna be projected out there. But you see, integration is what remains when all disintegration comes to an end. And disintegration is the struggle towards an illusion – the illusion being that there is something to achieve. You see, when one stops for a minute and is not strugglin’ at anything, what kind of state are you in, Teako?
(It’s very peaceful.)
It’s peaceful, it’s joyous, it’s oneness. There’s not the interrogator and the interrogated. There’s not the controller and the controlled. There’s no longer the observer and the observed, peekin’ over the shoulder, you know. Did you ever spy on yourself, Ann? Huh? “I” spies on I and finds all manner of fault with I …
(Mm-hmm)
… and then, of course, there’s the judge and the judger, the judge and the judged, huh? And then there’s the task-maker and then there is the one that’s gonna do the task, and there’s a struggle goes on mornin’, noon and night. You see, the idea of achievement is the struggle towards an illusion. You’re gonna struggle towards some ideal state that you have conceived of or heard of or something, huh? And then everything’s gonna be humpy dumpty, hokey dory, huh? And if you see the joke in the struggle, one ceases to struggle. And when you’re not strugglin’, what kind of state are you in, Teako?
(Relaxed, it’s beautiful.)
And you didn’t have to force yourself to be relaxed, huh? You tried that for a long time, huh? There was the task-maker and the one who was the controller and the controlled, huh?
(Super ideals.)
And so then, there was the controller to get the super ideal and the controlled who wasn’t cooperating worth a hoot, is that right? Huh? And this was the struggle and the conflict. But when you cease it, the state was already there. You see, it’s always been there. It’s like if you find a great treasure buried in a field. Do you have to go struggle to get the treasure or do you just kick the dirt off? Kick the dirt off. And the dirt is the struggle to achieve some ideal throwed out there that you chase away for it and when you see that joke, you kick the dirt off of the treasure. And you have given up all those things that were so important to you. Huh? Does it matter whether you sit still or wiggle, Teako? Does it matter whether you have to scratch your nose once in a while or pull your whiskers now and then, you know? It’s not that, uh, it’s nothin’. That’s not such a horrible thing, is it? What else have you got em for if you haven’t got em to play with once in a while? Worthwhile attention gettin’ device.
End of CD 4
CD 5 of 7: Albion 1972
[CD 5 begins by repeating the last few seconds of CD 4.]
“– achieve some ideal throwed out there, that you chase away for it, and when you see that joke, you kick the dirt off of the treasure. And you have given up all those things that were so important to you. Huh? Does it matter whether you sit still or wiggle, Teako? Does it matter whether you have to scratch your nose once in a while or pull your whiskers now and then? You know… that’s nothin’. That’s no such a horrible thing, is it? What else you got em for if you haven’t got em to play with once in a while. It’s a worthwhile attention-gettin’ device, now and then.
I went to Albuquerque the other day and it was very much an attention-gettin’ device – I had
the only one in town; and that was really somethin’, you know? Everbody looked. So I went and put on my leather pants and my cowboy boots and leather jacket and they said, “There goes hippie. (laughter)
So I went back to the hotel and I dressed up with this suit, a black shirt and I put a black tie on with it, and a black hat, and a cape. And I went out and they said, “There’s a rabbi.” (Laughter) You know? Simple.
(Rabbi!)
A Rabbi. So I blessed everybody as I went on. And that was the whole show. (laughter) Now it’s all accordin’ to what clothes you got on. Now you see Teako over there, he got on a leather jacket with fringe on it and a pair of boots and his long skin’s out and a pair of levis, he’s a hippie. But if we dress him all up, he’s a Messiah. (Laughter) Got the role, buddy, got it goin’.
So now what is the misconception? You all have the state of integration. You have it – right now, but you got it covered up with some struggle. Now how much difficulty it is to drop the struggle? Teako, you played with that a minute; how much trouble was it to drop the struggle?
(No trouble at all.)
You just saw a joke and started laughin’ and hung it up, is that it? Is that about all it took, is that right, sir? Huh? Chuck, have you seen the joke yet or is it still gotta be caught in the sack down in the swamp?
(I hope I’ve seen the joke.)
Okay. I didn’t ask you what you hoped; I asked if you had seen it. Huh? Is there anything you gotta struggle towards, dear Donna?
(It’s so hilarious because I start thinking, “Oh, gee, that’s what I’ve been waiting to hear. I’ll –)
Go do it right away!
(– do it as soon as I get home.)[chuckling] Right. I’ll do it as soon as I get home. And so we’ve got one more struggle to do is to get home first, okay, cause we couldn’t get caught out without all of our struggles. And we might be goin’ on without the dress on or somethin’.
Now. The obstruction is the only thing that one is ever interested in. Now we looked in the workshop, which was put on the first hour this morning, what? That we have set up an obstruction, we have set an ideal that the whole purpose of living is to be non-disturbed by gaining and escaping. That is the misconception that that’s what life consists of. And so we have devised ways and means to struggle – not really many; they’re disgustingly old-fashioned but we’ve used em, thought they were new and different, and we struggled away for em.
Now, when we see that there is nothing to struggle for… hmm? What could you struggle for, John? Money, power, prestige… that would all get it, huh? Then you’d be non-disturbed except that you are more disturbed then when you get it, huh? More.
(You could struggle for integration.)
Huh?
(You could struggle for integration.)
Well that’s what we already been workin’ on here. We just started on that one a minute ago while you were out chasin’ that little girl. (laughter)
(____________.)
And Allan brought up the rear. How’d he get in the act? (big laughter) A girl came to the door, a man got up and run out, Max got up and run after him and I don’t know where Ridge got in it. (laughter) But somewhere, there’s a relationship.
(The Four Dual Basic Urges.) (laughter)
Right! That’s what it was – all four of em.
So we could struggle towards integration but integration is what everbody in this room has – already – except we can’t recognizeit because we’re so busy strugglin’ after an illusion somewheres. Now, if you dropped the illusion… Now what is the illusion, Joy?
(Well, the illusion is something you don’t have.)
Well, what is the thing you don’t have? Your “children all lived all their lives without gettin’ in any trouble.” Well then that way you gotta wait until the last one’s dead before you could realize it, you know? Because they’d liable get anything happen to em, nosin’ around. Huh? You shouldn’t have raised em up to be so good-lookin’, then you wouldn’t had to worry so much about em. [he chuckles]
(They take after their Mother.)
(Oh, you bet…)
Yeah, they did.
(I’ve always told him that, he didn’t believe me.)
Well, it doesn’t matter.
(Dr. Bob?)
What?
(I remember once when you made a diagram – I’m trying to relate this – you made a diagram of “what if” –)
What if…
(…and the illusion.)
Of what ought to be. Right.
(That really made it clear to me that I was falling short.) (laughter)
[Lots of laughter, Dr. Bob and the woman talking over each other – unintelligible.]
(I’d pull my chart out and read it, it just comes clear as a bell again, and then I get all fogged up again!)
Yeah… While you’re being, it’s all right cause you got your attention up here – inside you.
[writes on the board] “What ought to be,” which is the illusion. What ought to be: I “ought to be” integrated. I “ought to be” unioned with God. I ought to be this. I already have all that, no matter how you name it. But in the course we cannot accept because we’ve struggled since the moment we were born to achieve an ideal. We have never experimented with doing without the ideal for even a moment. We have struggled with that illusion ever minute.
So we start on this struggle to go up here to get to that. Now if we looked at when Joy was lookin’ at it, what is was created. Is that right, Joy?
(Mm-hmm.)
And this “what ought to be” was certainly uncreated or it’d already be “what is,” is that correct? It’s uncreated. So anything that’s uncreated is obviously somewhat of an illusion. If it’s created, it exists.
Now anything that’s uncreated doesn’t exist, does it – does not exist. And anything that exists is real. Is what does “ought to be” and is uncreated and does not exist is obviously unreal, right? Unreal. And if it’s real, it’s a fact. You don’t even have to ask why it is, it is. Huh? It’s just a fact. Is this anything a fact up here or is that all illusion?
(Illusion.)
Illusion, fiction, dreams, sound asleep – strugglin’ away, hmm? And anything that is created exists, is real, is a fact, and a fact is truth, is that right? And truth? Is this truth up here, or is this all false impression on your part, sir?
(False.)
False impressions. And anything that is truth is perfect for here and now. Otherwise you get monsters, is that right? Perfect. So are you perfect, sir?
(Mm-hmm.)
Your second husband is perfect.
(What about a lie?)
Mmm?
(What about a lie?)
What about a lie?
(Yeah, what if someone tells a lie?)
Well, that’s a perfect lie for that time, isn’t it? (Laughter) Best one you can think of. (more laughter) False impression is truth… uh, then it’s perfect and of course everything here is very imperfect – the very definition thereof. This of course is alive because it is real, it’s dynamic and this is dead because it stays static at all times. So that’s what we’re all strugglin’ for, isn’t it? And we usually succeed as long as you struggle.
Now, if you cease strugglin’, what happens, Teako? You begin to live a little bit, huh? – without any struggle whatsoever. You can do as much work as you ever did in your life and maybe a little more. Huh? No sweat, no bother.
Now, it is simple to see that the struggle towards an illusion is the obstruction to realizing what you already are. What you already are is so much more than you ever dreamed to struggle towards. Really! It really is. You’re a living being; but we have struggled towards illusions – duality – and set up duality until we can’t realize what we are.
Do you usually feel like “I and myself,” Ann? Do you usually feel like the observer observed; and you’re the observed and the observer? You put questions and so you’re the interrogator and the interrogated. At times you play the judged and the judge role, huh? And condemn it then in no uncertain terms. And even sometimes play the executioner – all divided up. You play those kind of games, too?
(Yep.)
What are you strugglin’ for? You see the end of struggle is oneness. Now that is, of course, when one isn’t struggling to gain pleasure and escape pain, to gain attention and avoid being ignored or rejected. Now, if you just want some attention without trying to be sure you avoid any disapproval…
A lady told me one day that she wanted to divorce her husband but her in-laws would disapprove. Well, they might disapprove of a person, mightn’t they? That might be terrible. You know… it’s reasonable. You ever go around and do somethin’ to keep from avoidin’ bein’ disapproved of? Huh?
(Yes.)
Did you ever go ahead and put up with some situation to keep from being disapproved of if you called it off, Ann? So you was the controlled and the controller, huh? The judge and the judged and split apart down the middle. So as long as we’re split, can you feel like you’re one? Or do you get to argue as to who’s on top – the controller and the controlled. Does it get two of em in there – the controller tries to keep from eatin’ and the controlled just keeps on eatin’, don’t it?
(The words hurt.)
Yeah, just sits there and fights and stews. You’ve talked to that one, haven’t you, George?
(Yeah…)
The controller says, “You don’t smoke another cigarette.” And the control says, “But I’m gonna have one more for I’ll shake apart of it,” you know. What’s the difference? Want a cigarette, have a cigarette.
But the controlled and the controller…when you feel like you’re two people, practicin’ being two, puttin’ on a play, how could you experience being one? How does that ___? Couldn’t very well do that, could you? But all the duality has to be forced – that’s the part we force. You’re gonna be the one who does the relaxin’ and the one who’s gonna see that you do it. Hmm? Then you gotta force it down. Joy, did you ever try to force yourself to relax?
(Mm-hmm.)
And you sure got in a wild one, didn’t you? Yeah. Did you ever try to force yourself to go to sleep at night, dear? And there’s one awakener that stays in there and gritches all night about it, isn’t it?
(Oh, yeah…)
Right! It just won’t go to sleep and the other one is trying to force it to go to sleep. And it says, [imitating a whiny child’s voice] “I’m not gonna sleep. You can’t make me!” (laughter) Right… Momma said you can lead a mule to drink, but you couldn’t… [corrects himself] to the water, but you couldn’t make it drink. And you can split yourself in two and try to have peace but one of em won’t hold still for it. Did you ever try to make yourself peaceful?
(Right.)
Right. And there’s one that says, “Yes, but! Grrrr…” Huh?
(Yeah, but.)
Yeah, but. So you see that everbody is integrated except they have it covered up with conflict, struggle – splitting oneself in two because one sets up an ideal and struggles to go get it. That right, Ann? Can’t you just stop that right now? Huh?
(Yes.)
Okay.
(Good. You’re integrated then.)
You can watch it – instant integration. Already gone. (laughter) You saw it disappear. Now, you wanna keep it. Now what’s the ideal? “I wanna keep it.” So you can see instant integration and instant disintegration. (Laughter) So instant disintegration is when I want to know an ideal. How can I keep this lovely state? Now you’re the interrogator and the interrogated because you always put the question to yourself. Right? Paul? Paul’s just waitin’ to see that. Next day he says, “It’s all gone. Where’d it go? I’m all depressed.”
(Well, I expect it that way.)
Huh? You see it in action here now – and demonstrated. Instant integration that lasted a split second, then she fired a question, “How am I gonna keep it?” See, when you got something then you are still gonna be assured that I will always be pleasant like this. We’re still operatin’ and manipulated by the Four Dual Basic Urges. When you see the fallacy of that then one ceases to be manipulated either by curiosity or anything else. So it’s there, what difference does it make whether it lasts a minute or not? It was kind of unusual, wasn’t it?
(I’ll try to get there.)
You’ll “try to get” – desperately and struggle to it, honey. Then there is the prodder and the one being prodded. You know it gets on the way. Right. There is the slave and the slave master. Now this is only the obstruction; and that’s the only thing one would be interested at anytime at all to look at is the obstruction to oneness. You already are. But you won’t allow yourself to experience it because you’re constantly throwing out the questions – right, Darrol? – and the struggle, “I want to achieve a state.” It’s already there except you’re so busy strugglin’ to get some ideal that one has throwed out: this one up here, [he points to the blackboard] “what ought to be.”
Okay, let’s have a little discussion about the obstruction to things. You know if you remove the obstruction to health, you’re already dead; you don’t need a cure after that. [A woman gets it and begins laughing heartily.] (laughter)
Sure! Instantly gone, off on a tangent – tryin’ to use your brain for a fortune teller, so then I’m the inquirer and the “inquired of.” The interrogator and the interrogated. And the interrogated says, “I don’t know.” The interrogator says, “Why don’t you know? What do you think I got you for!” The fights on; sounds like a husband and wife. Okay, let’s have some comments. What’s your obstruction, dear?
(Well, I think that I have to do something.)
Right, so then you’ve got the who’s gonna do the doing and who’s not already doin’ it. You do want something. Big.
(Well, I want to accomplish something.)
And you’ve got to get it after a long and due struggle.
(And then the other side says, “Well, I’ll be…)
Yeah, “I’m not gonna struggle. You’re not going to make me do it.” Yeah. And one has to have a long and arduous struggle because there’s few who ever find it. That’s the truth. But it’s not because they didn’t work hard enough, it was because the other 99.99% was workin’ so hard they run right on by the gate. The door’s standin’ open but you don’t enter because you’re so busy gettin’ things done so that you can enter, right?
Come on, let’s have a question. What’s your obstruction? Soon as you get happy you’ll take it over, okay? But wait till I’m happy… and then I will do this. But in the meantime, I’m not happy. I’ve got to be well. I’ve got to have security. And I’ve got to lose 42 pounds.
(I hope I don’t.)
You what?
(I could talk about another problem if you like.)
Well, I really don’t –
(I’m getting tired of the both of em.)
Well, any of em will do. ________as the other one. Maybe you’re not loved.
(Yes, that’s exactly it!)
Right. If you were just loved properly. It isn’t that you haven’t been loved; but that you haven’t been loved properly. Katie Lynn will sing you the song on that. It belongs in a collection called “Songs of Couch and Consultation.”
(Lovely!)
I even have the entire record – “Songs of Couch and Consultation” and there is several of em. And Katie Lynn’s performances, like “Gunslinger,” and “If I Was Only Loved Properly,” and “I Got a Tiger by the Tail” – a tiger called “the will to fail.” A few other little ditties like that.
All quiet? Okay, we’ll take about five minute break or some such a manner. We’ll have one more short discussion before we stop for the evening and then we’re gonna – [break]
[resuming]
Okay, we will talk a few minutes about a means of obstructing oneness within ourselves, things that we accept without ever looking to see. So it’s another way where maybe we could look and see another obstruction – that we treat events as though they were things.
Now, let’s talk about one of these little events that people call marriage. Now, that’s a “thing,” you know… when you read about it’s, “Can this marriage be saved?” It’s like, “Could you keep this cloth from deterioration?”
(And, “Have you got one?”)
And do you have one, after all, in the first place? And they treat it as though it is a “thing.” It is a series of events, is it not? Isn’t that all it amounts to? A series of events. Or are you gonna make somethin’ more out of it, honey? (laughter)
(I was just trying to _____ a thing.)
What thing is it?
(It’s material; it’s a thing.)
What? Cloth, yeah. But I said a marriage.
(Oh. I thought you were talking about the...)
We treat it as though it were this. [points to blackboard] No, we said that we treated it as though it were a thing. This I can get. Huh?
Now, let’s talk about relationship. We’re always hearing people say, “Now this relationship I have to so-and-so, this relationship is thus-and-so,” huh? Now is a relationship a thing or is it an event?
(Well…it’s an event.)
Now, no event is “duplicatable” so you have a series of events. One moment you have an event of a pretty kiss and the next moment you have the event of psht-psht-psht and you call that a relationship, huh? (laughter) It’s just a bunch of unrelated events. When you see it as such, there is really nothing there to get all torn up about; it is a series of events.
Now what is an event? It’s a “happening” I believe is an appropriate word for it, isn’t it? Nick, you used another word yesterday. What’d you use?
(Occasion.)
An occasion. It’s just an occasion. I was drivin’ up the road yesterday and went through the town of Tremonton and I see Nick Tatu walkin’ across the street. So I whistled, hollered, scream at him. He comes up, says, “I’ll go with you.” So he gets in the bus, in the little white van, and he leaves a grey dog over there. And the driver of the grey dog had to stay in Tremonton for half an hour lookin’ for Nick Tatu. (Laughter) So he was quite late gettin’ to Burley, so we beat him up there and then Nick said he’d just got there by teleportation. And that got the driver wonderin’ about it the rest of the time. So… He’d just arrived. It was just an “occasion” though. Now, Nick and I had an occasion up the road, we had conversation. Now was that a “thing” or was that an occasion or an event? Hmm? Which one?
(An event.)
Event. It wasn’t a thing. Now it’s nothing could ever be duplicated because I’m sure if I went back to Tremonton again and Nick went to Tremonton and he got in the car, I don’t think we could duplicate cause I don’t record it very well, did you? It was nice, to me; I don’t know whether it was to him or not, but I had a very enjoyable visit. But was it a “thing” or an “event?” Hmm?
Now then there’s nothing to try to straighten out, nothin’ to sit down and straighten out this relationship we have here, huh? You know, did you ever sit down with your mate to “straighten out” something? Wound up in a fight, didn’t it? You know there’s only one way to straighten a person out – put em in a long box. (laughter) Period. And they’re straightened out then – they won’t ever cause you any more trouble. Right?
(Right.)
You want her straightened out? [he starts to respond and Bob interrupts] I better not catch you at it. [chuckling]
So is there such a thing… there is physical things like chairs, tables, towels, blackboards; but then there is human beings. A human being is not a “thing.” It is a “be-ing.” “Be-ing” is ever-changing. So are you a thing or a series of events? Think about it for a minute. Are you a thing or a series of events? Hmm? Which is it?
You think of yourself as a thing, then you need correction, you need to undo the past and all that. But those events are gone and there’s nothing you can do about them, is there. Hmm? Are you just an event this moment? You are be-ing, but you are not a thing. How about that, Bill? Hmm?
(Right.)
You’re being. Then there isn’t any grounds for regret, changes, straightenin’ out, or questions because whatever did the act – the event went by a while ago – is there any way you can go back and redo the event, Walter?
(No.)
No. There ain’t no way you can un-marry her, is it? That event took place and there’s no way to go backwards on it, huh? Correct?
(Correct.)
You can take another event and start a different series of events.
(I won’t make a thing out of that, though.)
You won’t.
(No.)
You won’t. Not at a “di-vorce” – that is a thing, is that right?
(chuckling) (I didn’t want to make a thing out of that.)
[chuckling] You don’t want to make a thing out of that one. So what about events? Huh? You’re an event, this moment is an event, last moment was an event, and you’re not the last moment. And can you go back and undo the last moment anyway?
Now, if I’ve got a bolt over here and it’s got a scar on it, I can go back and meld it up and pour it again if I want to, or I can polish it or do all sorts of things – it’s a thing. But you’re a be-ing. And a be-ing is ever-changing series of events, is that right, Ann? Hmm? And there isn’t anything to struggle about that. But you think of “our marriage, our relationship, our home life,” and all these goodies. What, Joy?
(Could another word be “experience” or is that different?)
Well, is experience a “thing” or an “event?”
(An event.)
Now if you had an experience, you’re trying to make a thing out of it. You say, “I’m experience-ing” – it’s an event… and “I was experience-ing.” But experience is a noun, I believe, is it not, sir? That right, Max?
(Yes sir.)
Nick, you’re the English major here. Is experience used as a noun?
(It’s both. Both. To experience...)
And experiencing is what? “I-n-g” is an event goin’ on, huh?
(That’s a verb, which is a happening.)
Is a what? That’s a happening, that’s an occasion, event, huh? A happening –
(Action.)
Okay, action. Now action is the only thing, only situation that the human is ever involved in. Now, anything that’s passed, is that an action or it’s gone now, it’s dead.
(That’s a noun.)
That’s a noun. And the future?
(Noun.)
And you cannot do anything with either one; you’re in an event right now, huh? And if one sees this, do you have any struggle or is all your struggles about the past and the future? Help me, Miss Anne.
(It’s a struggle if you have one.)
If you have a struggle it’s about when?
(The past or.)
And right now there is no struggle, is there. You’re do-ing. You’re “i-n-g,” whatever it may be – experiencing, talking, doing, being, eating…huh? But now all regrets and all anxieties is about what?
(The past.)
A past that is dead and gone, events that’s already departed that you’re treating like it was a thing. Or an expected future which is a bunch of events that you haven’t the foggiest what’s gonna happen. And you’re trying to make em fit a certain thing. And you talk about “my future” as though it were a thing, is that right, Joy? And, “My children’s future – I’m only concerned for their future” – a thing. Uh-huh, that right? Richard, is that what you’re mostly concerned about is your future – that thing that don’t exist? But right now everthing’s all right, isn’t it? Pretty nice, wonderful. But the future, I can build all sorts of manners of things out of a supposedly what? What is the future to you? A monster?
(An illusion.)
But it is strictly an illusion that does not exist. It isn’t even an event yet, huh? And we worry as though it were a set thing and we know all about it. “And if this’ll do, then the future will be that.” Do you have a future? Do you have a past?
(No.)
(Yes we do.)
Show it to me, honey. (Laughter)
(Here?)
Right here! You got one, huh? Where is it? Where is it?
(You want true confessions?)
No, I wanna see it. I’m not interested in hearing about it. I want to see it. I want to see some of your past.
(All right… now, what am I but a production of my…)
I’ve wondered that ever since I met you. (huge laughter) You don’t even fit the event yet. Been wonderin’ about that. But not much. (more laughter) So if anybody can show me your past… can you show me a little of it? John, you have a past?
(No, sir.)
Gone… and no way to revive or show anybody any portion of it, is that right? Can you, Darrol?
Now there is records, which are things. Huh? But that… well, they are… must be of a past because they sure can’t be of the future – that’s for sure. Not your past – you don’t have one. But, uh, it’s not a thing, but a record is a thing – that’s a sheet of paper, you know, with some little marks on it. I tell everybody that my past is an open book but the pages have been thrown away. You can look all you please. But, uh… that’s where you put yours, wasn’t it? Except you revive em and read em every day and act like they’re real.
So when we can see that all that man knows about – other than a few physical objects that’s about him – is events. You can’t imagine what the next event is going to be. You can imagine em, but they won’t ever work out that way. Did any one of your imagined events ever work out, future wise? Hmm? Or did they always take a sudden turn for the better…or worst, accordin’ to which way you like it? Huh? When you got married you had a picture all out there. How’d it work out? Like you had the picture or did it depart from that script on various occasions?
(I colored it black.)
Huh?
(I colored black.)
You cut it black??
(It’s been colored black.)
Oh. You just marked it out, don’t use it anymore. So you have no future, you have no past, and you’re in a present event. What is there to struggle with, Bill?
(Nothing.)
How about that, Shirley? You knew I wasn’t gonna ask you anything today, but I finally found one. Shirley, when she first came around us, would get the shakes and hide least I might ask her somethin’. Now she’s up there grinnin’ all the time. So Shirley is an entirely different event than an event named Shirley I met there in Borrego a long time ago. Is that right, Shirley? That’s one of the ancestors you don’t even remember. Hmm? You don’t even remember her. Cause if I’d said somethin’ like that to that Shirley, that event, it would have looked horrified – this one grins. (laughter) Couldn’t be the same one at all, you know…couldn’t be any relationship.
Now, let’s think about events and let’s see what we’re looking at, at the moment. Are you an event, Angela? Just now. And all the other events that gone by, is that you or is that non-existent now? There was a little girl one time about the size of _____ that was called Angela. Can you show me that little girl now? Or is that event gone?
(That event is gone.)
And so it does not exist, huh? There was once a little girl, believe it or not, about so big; but can you show her to me? She does not exist, that event is no more.
(That is not even mentally possible…)
No, not even mentally. Unfortunately. (laughter) They do deteriorate from time to time. (Laughter) That’s an event, sweetie, it’s just an event. So when we can begin to see the difference between events and things, we cease much of our useless struggle. What’s most of your worries about when you worry, Darrol?
(I try to make a thing out of an event.)
What is most of the… where do you put those things that you’re tryin’ to make out of an event? Future? It hasn’t even been an event yet, man. So it’s strictly what? Illusion. And that is what we generally have to worry over is illusions, huh? we struggle with. And when there is no struggle and no conflict what kind of state is your mind in, Teako?
(It’s peaceful.)
It’s peaceful, it’s pleasant. And in that comes everthing that’s wonderful. There is nothing to gain and struggle for and to achieve and all these things. Now, when we’re trying to achieve, we’re trying to achieve a “thing”, is that right? Is a state a thing? You know… And if you’re not strugglin’, why it’s all right, right now, hmm? Without any further knowing. Worry is about the past and the what? The future. And we treat past and future as though it were a “thing” instead of a series of events. And every event is unexpected, is it not?
(Every one?)
Try one and see.
(There are, uh…)
Similarities once in a while.
(No, we… I’ve been to the ballet. Now that’s an event.)
The ballet is a thing, isn’t it?
(Oh… My being there, at the ballet, that was an event ______)
Especially if you got in it. (laughter) Hippo ballet.
(I think she’d be beautiful in it.) (That I thank you for.)
You’re welcome.
So we sometimes anticipate and it’s somewhat similar but it never works out exactly that way. Hmm? That about right? So we anticipate events and sometimes it tends to make them happen; but can you just experience an event that comes along?
A man said he had a ring made that kept him conscious. He had a ring designed like a wide-band ring and he had inscribed on it, “This too will pass.” You know, every event goes away. So if he was overly delighted he read the ring and of course got down to size. And if he was all depressed, he rode the experience – and so that’s the road or the middle ground, maybe, is to have a ring inscribed on it, instead of “I Love You,” or “Darrol loves Anne,” to put on it “This too will pass”. (laughter) This, too, will pass.
[lady chuckling] (It sure did.)
And all events only come, to pass. Hmm? Including the events called marriages, the event called success, the event called failure, the event called what?
(Disapproval.)
Disapproval. Whatever you want to name the event it comes only to pass. Some of em takes a little longer, but each event passes moment by moment. Ever moment is a separate event and ever moment is now and now has no beginning and no end. So where do you spend life? In eternity? Or in time? Darrol?
(Usually I’m in the future...)
So that’s in “time”… that’s in time then – never in the timeless state of being without beginning and without end which is now, which is to be “living the event,” which is the only living there truly is, right? The rest of it is illusion.
All right? There will be dinner served at six o’clock, I believe. Mr. Kenny asked if you would go in and sit quietly in the auditorium for 20 minutes to see what kind of “covering” you wanted to bring with you at eight o’clock. (laughter) That way, you will know exactly what you require and we will not tell you it’s hot, cold, or otherwise. Go down and experience it and see what you want to bring. He said anything would be in order – that you could bring your own electric blanket if you could find a place to plug it in, your own sleepin’ bag or whatever you could wrap up in if you like. But the play will be the same – somewhat, I think you might discover, having read the script – be very similar to the first talk we had this morning. So there will be a duplicate acted out. The Four Dual Basic Urges will be delightfully flitting across the stage letting you try out all the means you have attempted to achieve the Four Dual Basic Urges. And he might jolly well encourage you in them. And if you do, follow him. And, cause he and I are gonna meet very shortly and split the loot. We’d like to have a few souls to chew on and cause we might be short of loot when we go off. Okay?
And have a very, very pleasant evening. We will start in the mornin’ with some sort of a discussion at 10 o’clock. Now, at 11 o’clock in the mornin’ we’d like, if you would, to leave here a written question or topic that you would want discussed. We have been doing these for some length of time because obviously when I get up and talk, I talk about what I wanna talk about. And we’ll reserve the last hour for your written questions. They do not need to be signed or anything else. Pitch em up here, whether it’s a question or a topic that you want some discussion on, and leave it for the last talk in the mornin’ at 11 until whatever time it takes us to get through with em. And I hope it goes on till two or three o’clock. If you’ll put down enough questions, we’ll stay with em. If you only throw one, we’ll get through in 10 minutes. And drop the questions up here, written out, the topic or the subject you want to talk about and we’ll attempt to talk on it. If I don’t know a thing about it I won’t let you find it out. Okay? (laughter)
[next morning]
Hello, Justine. How’re you doing, pretty one? [side talk]
Quite often we are busy asking questions and we would like our questions answered. Now, we put the questions to number one. We put the question to the brain and try to get answers and we go to and fro looking for questions – somebody to give me an answer to my questions and then everything will be fine, I will be happy, what-have-you.
Instead, Life seems to put questions to us, and we never listen to those and possibly it might be time better spent if we listened to the questions that life puts to us. Now Life puts its questions in different forms than we do. It doesn’t verbalize very frequently as I’ve noticed. Like if it wants to tell me that to get some food for the body, it doesn’t say, “Hey, Bob, get some food.” It just offers sensations, and I jolly well know what’s needed. When it wants some water to liquefy some of the tissues or work with in the body, it doesn’t say, “Hey, Bob, go get some water.” It gives me a certain signal, which I’m well acquainted with. Are you, John? “I want water.”
End of CD 5