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About sex and it's meaning-4 kinds of love (Tape 44)

One of the subjects that most people seem to, sooner or later, develop a problem over is sex. They speak to some of us about these problems they have; and seemingly it is because they do not understand the very nature of sex. SEX IS A SYMBOL OF UNION. It is the urge to union within man. Without it, no one would ever consider the union of "Spirit and awareness". In much symbiology, awareness is the female and Spirit is the male; and until there is the union of this--there is no new man. Of course, in the physical aspect of sex, the urge to union can result in a new man-a baby.

The union of many things produces a new substance. The union of sodium and chloride produces an entirely new substance called salt. This goes on in many different things. The union of a resistance or a (passive agent) and an initiative agent will result in a new pot--for instance, or a new casting of some sort or other. Before one can make a cast iron pot, one has to have the initiative of the molten metal, and then one has the resistance or passive agent of a mold. One pours the molten metal into a mold; and one brings about an entirely new object that has a certain duration; and the new object, [form], of course, has a use--there is a result from it.

But sex has been misunderstood for many ages, and it is a powerful force. Being a force, it has many taboos built up around it, much as lightening has taboos built around it; and about any other force that man does not understand. So many people cannot see it as an aspect of union--they see it as something that is dangerous. It leads people, {when it is in control without the aid of intellect}, into many species of violence and other unusual behavior.

Now, of course, today we see that man is almost totally occupied with sex. You can barely go through any village that one doesn't see Eros theaters and innumerable magazines and books--all telling how to gain more pleasure from sex. Now, the fact that there is pleasure in sex is only a byproduct--a symbol again--of the union of awareness and Spirit, which is a very ecstatic experience. But any union that man can achieve, always has a pleasurable, joyful, or ecstatic experiencing along with it. This is what man, in his urge to gain pleasure; and escape pain, has misunderstood about sex. He has seen it as a source of pleasure; and mammon, of course, puts forth great effort to have man gain all the pleasure one can. Sex, being practically the ultimate pleasure that man can experience, has been pursued as a source of pleasure--and its whole aspect as the symbol of union of Spirit and awareness has been totally forgotten.

Now Eros, as experienced in the human being, is simply a force; and like any force it is blind. All forces are blind. Electricity is a force, and it is blind. It must be used with intelligence or else it will be very destructive. When used with intelligence, it is a great source of value to mankind. Eros is selective--but it is not exclusive--and it has been called "love" for many long years. It was one aspect of love in that it is an attraction between people. In ancient Greece anything that had an attraction was considered to be love; but they, at least, divided it up into the kinds of attraction. The attraction between a parent and child was called PIA; the attraction between male and female that appealed to each other was called EROS; the attraction between friends and the attraction to objects, tastes and situations was called PHILEA; the attraction for Spirit and awareness was called AGAPE; and the attraction of man for understanding was called AGAPE. So Eros is simply a force, and without the use of intelligence with it, one is lead into many blind paths.

Now, many people have just turned their lives over to Eros, thinking that it is an infallible guide to mating--to what they call love. So a person meets another, a male meets a female, and they are attracted. Eros is active. You know, formerly Eros was considered to be a funny looking little creature called "cupid" with a bow and arrow; and it shot the arrows--indiscriminately sometimes. So there is an attraction, and they call this love.

On the basis of this love, and without any Philea--without any Agape--many times what is called a marriage takes place. Now, the word marriage symbolizes union; and unless it is a union of more than Eros, it really shouldn't be called marriage because that is only a mating--and it could be even temporary that it has any effect. Once Eros, the force, is gratified, it ceases to be an attraction. However, when Eros is used, and when each person feels that "Eros is the infallible guide to mating", to union; then of course, many times there is a marriage. They have really no other form of attraction other than Eros. This Eros is soon gratified; and they find they are utterly bored with each other. They are not friends. There is no attraction of Philea, and there is no understanding of Agape. So then there is a "problem". One says, "I no longer love the other person." They never did love; they were only attracted by something that Eros demands which is to bring new people on the face of the earth - new bodies, not human beings, but the bodies which are instruments for X. Seemingly there is little regard as to how the body is brought about.

Man has built up a society in which he CONSIDERS MATING TO BE PERMANENT, and he has made the marriage ceremony the symbol of the union, which is very fitting, into something beautiful and quite possibly one of the most outstanding events of many people's lives - the marriage ceremony and all the attendant pomp and ceremony that goes with it. It comes from the idea that there is great joy in heaven over the union of awareness and X.

It is much like the story of the prodigal son. There was a great feast made when he who had been dead returned to the Father. The union took place and there were many gifts exchanged and given when that which was lost. was found.

So man is looking for union. He has lost union with Spirit, and it is very fitting that there would be the great celebration of the union. However, when this is only based on EROS, it is doomed to early chaotic conditions.

So when sex is seen as an attraction--that it is a blind force--then one would cease to see sex as a guide to one's existence in forming unions and relationships with other people. By the same token, a person may have had Eros for a given person having united in marriage on the basis of Eros alone, and sooner or later when that particular union has been adequately gratified, (and there is then lack of interest)--and then somewhere along the way, a person in marriage may see another person and experience Eros again, and again, the person in marriage jumps to the conclusion that one is "in love" with another person, and that one no longer loves the other. Then we have the well known triangle, and the frustration in human minds.

Now, when one recognizes that Eros is a blind force--that it is interested only in attraction; and that it is as blind a force as electricity is, then one would see that intellect must oversee the work of Eros. When intellect--intelligence, and awareness are brought to play on it; then it is seen that there must be, at least, along with Eros, the addition of Philea--that two people would be friends. It will be seen that Eros is going to appear in varying degrees of intensity, varying degrees of frequency, that it is easily gratified; and that it may announce itself in relationship to another person.

But if awareness and intellect, has taken charge of Eros and is overseeing its performance, then one has harnessed a great force. Somewhere in THE WAY, it is said only a man who has gained control over the various forces of his existence could he be considered a master. When one does this, one then sees that all the tricks of Eros are useful, very pleasant, they are very desirable; but that one would not think of turning one's existence over to the whims of a blind force called Eros--or sex. Then one would see that Eros sounds off and says, "This would be an attractive person over here." This causes so much difficulty in people who feel that Eros is the infallible guide to their relationships. When this is seen, one begins to take control over Eros--direction possibly would be a better word. While it is seen that one feels attracted to a given individual, it is simply not to one's advantage to allow Eros to determine one's behavior or one's relationships. Then there is no sense of guilt or frustration--no sense of being in a dilemma. It is freely recognized, that yes, Eros says, "That person there would be a desirable erotic partner."--that it would be enjoyable, pleasurable and all the rest of it; but one does not allow one's life, one's daily existence to be taken over by a blind force.

Getting in charge of Eros

While one recognizes that Eros is present, that Eros makes these statements to I, that there is something wonderful--one recognizes that the attraction of Eros is a blind force. So one then begins to see that Eros has its purpose, but also that AWARENESS is KING; and that awareness determines whether or not Eros will exercise in a given area or not. Then there is no sense of guilt. We know of many people, who having experienced Eros for someone other than the mate (they have been married to for sometime), feel very guilty that such should arise; or they feel they have "fallen in love" with another person--and that feeling of love is a great demand. Once one recognizes that Eros really has very little, if anything, to do with what is called love; then one begins to understand Eros. One understands that love first is Philea, (the simple act of enjoying another person's companionship, regardless of sex), and then that one would have some completion in love, which is agape. Only as two people understand each other, (understand that the other is always doing what they feel right, proper or justifiable), can the friendship continue. Only in the state where there is understanding and friendship, can Eros be continued over a long period of time in an intimate relationship called marriage.

Having these few ideas about the nature of this force called Eros, (which is so frequently referred to as love), one begins to have some basis for discussion with an individual that is in what is called a "problem." You see, the problem always comes from the ideal, the ideal being that one should have Eros arise--and that it should continue forever in its excited powerful state of force. However, each person, who has lived very long, knows that Eros is very easily gratified; and that when Eros is gratified, unless there is friendship, Philea and Agape, that it is doomed to be in a state of two people in conflict, because each one feels the other is in some way to blame; and that without having this constant ecstatic state of Eros--they no longer have love.

When one begins to understand the nature of Eros, one begins to have a balanced existence--seeing that there is available a great symbol--a symbol of the union of intelligence and awareness--of Spirit and awareness. Then one begins to see the value of it, and see that while it is very ecstatic, very joyful; and can be very pleasurable, that if it is misunderstood (and is allowed to run the life, and is not seen as a symbol of union, but merely as a source of gratification for pleasure), that it probably brings about the most damnable agony known to man. It brings about such things as jealousy--when one has only used something as a source of pleasure. Then, of course, one is afraid that one will loose that source of pleasure. If one sees that, maybe, there is an attraction of the mate somewhere else, one feels this attraction is under "free will or agency"; and then one feels that one's source of pleasure is threatened--and jealousy arises. When jealousy arises--violence arises--resentment arises--hate arises, and then of course--all is kill.

So if we can get across (to the various people who come to us discussing their so-called sexual life)--the erratic behavior of this blind force called Eros, then we may be of some value to the person. It is not that anyone is immoral, or that they are any other adjective that one may want to apply to them. It is that they have not understood a blind force that exists in all peoples, (and that not understanding this blind force--having been influenced by many taboos of all the things about it--and having much false information that Eros is to be called love-believing that it has a lasting quality--that it is the source of pleasure--and that its whole purpose is to gain pleasure and to maintain that pleasure), then one is expecting much of Eros that cannot be delivered by Eros. Of course, expecting some "ideal", results in disappointment. When there is a disappointment, there is a feeling of being hurt, and when one feels hurt, one begins to look for blame. Of course, one usually finds the sexual partner as being to blame; and that is the end of human relationship--and the start of violence is on its way. Some of the most rude violence in all the world originates from the misunderstanding of this force called Eros.

Furthermore, if one observes the natural creatures, (such as animals that are relatively unconditioned), that they are simply what they are--specialized creatures. One will notice Eros is only there on various occasions--and that the female always initiates Eros. Of course, man has been conditioned that man is the "supreme being" in the universe, and that the woman is a secondary creature, and that woman should be subject to man; and of course, he always thinks subject in sexual matters. However, this leads to sexual union when the female is not in accord. The female is cyclic. She has intensities of certain bodily hormones that bring about an intense increase in Eros. In other words, Eros very nearly could be said to be a chemical attraction. When certain chemicals called hormones are in "full state" in the female, (when she is most apt to conceive), then there is an intense increase in Eros. But the man is not the cyclic creature - he is there to be the servant of the demand in the female. When the man begins to see sex, Eros, as a source of pleasure and something he has a "right" to, then he begins to desire the gratification of this particular sensation that he has experienced before--whenever and as often and under whatever circumstances he so chooses as his "right." Consequently, many times the female has very little, or a low degree of Eros at that particular moment. She is, of course, very disappointed that she didn't receive the great ecstatic sense of union or the gratification that she previously had sometime or had been lead to believe might be possible. Now, when this comes about, she is disappointed. She feels hurt, she looks for blame, and begins to upset the whole thing.

So in the human relationship called marriage--there can be a certain intelligence, an awareness of WHAT IS. First there is a recognition that Eros is merely a blind force--an attraction--an urge to mating, and it is a symbol of the inner union of X and awareness. One recognizes that awareness must be involved in all things concerned with Eros; and that unless Eros is controlled, (like a horse is led by a bridle and a bit, or an automobile is controlled by the steering mechanism, the braking system, and the accelerator), then Eros is running rampant. Every time Eros, in the history of the world, has been allowed to become a ruling force--without awareness to direct it, control it, to put it into its proper channels, and to understand the nature of the force, it is very destructive.

Lightening which is electricity, can be very destructive, but if electricity has been put in wires, and harnessed, and put under control, then it is a great servant. Such is Eros. It is a great servant. It is the symbol of union. It brings about a new body--the symbol of union of X and awareness which is a new man.

Many parables and stories use the sexual symbology in order to bring about the awareness of this INNER STATE OF UNION--which is the real nature of man. To have and experience this union brings about an ecstasy that makes the ecstasy of sexual union seem inconsequential. However, sex is here to stay; but like any other great force, it is to be understood.

If we buy a simple thing like a coffee pot, electric toaster, electric range, refrigerator, or a simple little clock radio, we get a book of instructions with it that tells how not to destroy it--how not to misuse it--how to use it so that it will perform as it is designed to do. The human being, (a much more complicated, much more sophisticated organism, or state of existence than any of these simple appliances), does not have a book around its neck when it is born. This is the reason for pushing the study of what we are doing-the Teaching ideas--to provide that book that "would have been made" had man been "manufactured," as the complicated creature he is.

So man is left in this world to discover that book of instructions about self--about his organism--and about his state of being so that he can evolve. The simple appliances we buy cannot evolve--they only wear out in a while. If man has the ability to understand the mechanism, to understand the self, the way it works, and the various relationships in it, he has the possibility of writing the book for self--to know how everything operates. This is one of the purposes of all teaching about man--is to know WHAT HE IS. It is the reason for the Science of Man. Having recognized this, man can begin to work intelligently. If he doesn't recognize it, he simply wears out like an appliance because many things are done and many things are practiced that are destructive to the organism.

Sex without the use of awareness to harness it, direct it, guide it, to put it in its proper relationship with friendship (Philea), and with understanding (Agape), is a very destructive force. It's like having bare electric wires running through the house. It would soon burn the house down. Very shortly, it would short out and bring about utter confusion and violence--and likewise Eros, (not understood--not seeing its proper relationship in the human economy) if one is not seeing what is necessary to direct it; turns one's life entirely over to the whims of Eros--which is selective; but certainly not exclusive. When one does this, one has invited utter chaos into the existence of everyday living with these blind forces.

Pointing out these few simple things to many people begins to give them a direction. First, the partner is a friend; second, that the partner is understood--that whatever they are doing they feel right, proper or justifiable; and only thirdly is Eros a symbol of union between them. It is a symbol of the individual union that makes each person complete within and brings about a new being--a new person--a new man - the UNION OF AWARENESS AND SPIRIT.