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How To Be Successful at Raising a Delinquent
(Or How To Avoid Being a Good Parent)

By Robert Rhondell Gibson

1) Keep the child comfortable at all times.  Put up with their little complaints, whims, etc., etc.

2) Be permissive at all times.  One must not break their little spirits.  They are just bundles from heaven.

3) Always find some justification for their unruly behavior.

4) Always take away their personal responsibility by blaming their behavior on their associates or on their environment.  Never ask that they be responsible in any way.

5) Be sure that they have all the things that you did not have as a child.

6) Be well read on all the authors of child raising.  Read plenty of books on psychology and how to be a good parent.

7) When the child has difficulty at school, always blame the teacher or someone else in his environment there.  After all, the child is not to blame in any way.  Stick up for his rights.

8) Be sure to teach them that all officials and elders are their enemies.

9) Let them choose their own hours to be in at night.  Let them choose their own associates.  Don’t pin them down.  After all, supervision might impair their little psyche’s development and they might not like you.

10)  Give them no chores at home.  After all, they are only children and that is only a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

11)  Let them eat, drink, and do whatever they like – and sleep whenever they feel like it.  That way, you are developing their tastes they choose later.  The idea of a balanced diet is for household pets.

12)  Don’t bother the poor dears with the facts of everyday life or the dangers of society.  After all, they will have plenty of time out in that cold, cruel world later.  Let them have plenty of fun and pleasure.  Don’t bother to clutter their minds about sex, drugs, etc.  So what are a few run-ins with the law, and your heartaches?  Is not the child’s freedom and his spirit more important than yours?  After all, isn’t Life about having fun and all the pleasure you can get?  You certainly don’t want them to not like you and to spoil all their FUN.  Why, you mean, terrible parent, you…

So your life and the child’s life are ruined. 
(He has had fun, which anyone can obtain as a result.) 
You may use only one or a combination or all of the above if you choose
and you are guaranteed success in raising a delinquent.