Workshop - Life and Living(Lake Whitney 1982)- Page 3 of 4
(Is the achievement of the state of clear seeing a real possibility or not?)
Well, I would think so when you are not trying to accomplish anything other than that. But you can look at something and see it pretty clear. Before you would probably have that, it might be well to undergo a bit of self-knowing which we have covered in a number of written materials as well as oral and tapes and so forth. You can get those around. And then a little self-remembering which is the two subjects that we deal with. The two aspects: self-knowing and self-remembering. Self-knowing is to know the way we were conditioned, be aware of it and see that it is no longer valid for me. It was valid at one time when I was a little child, but it's no longer valid now. Self-remembering is to remember what I am, where I am, what's going on here and what you can do. Ok? Now when you get that done, I think you'd find that you were pretty much in the self-knowing right here and now and self-remembering here and now, ok? And it's very clear seeing. But you have to have a little something in order to see clearly with I would think. You know we were all kind of born facin’ a wall; we didn't see much except reflections and those very poorly. Yes ma’am.
(One of the – it's coming – one of the little pearls that you tossed out that I did not accept the first couple or three times I heard it...)
Well that's all right...
(…was that there is nothing in this life that's important.)
Right.
(It's only interesting.)
It may be interesting, but it's not important ‘cause you're not important anyway 'cause if you got out of the world today the world will get along just fine. They'd forget all about us in a few days.
(The will… is there such a thing as us knowing or the will of the Host for the guest?)
Well, it seems to be that it is to be a good guest, you know – maybe it's trying to.... What would you have a will for a guest in your house?
(Just be a good guest and....)
Would you want ‘em to be sure they were good servants and everything?
(No, and I'm sure it's the will of the Host for the guests to work with the other guests.)
Well, I would think if they asked each other. But don't get in their way; don't go over and try to straighten 'em out. You know, they're doin’ all right like they are. The Host finds ‘em interesting just like they are, so....
(As far as – )
And it's quite all right for them to have war games apparently.
(You think it makes no difference to the Host just as long as whatever we're doing, we're a good guest.)
What to us is a good guest. Or even if we're not, I don't think it makes any difference.
(You don't think it matters to the Host.)
No you… did you ever hear the stories about how we got to be guests anyway?
(Tell it.)
Ok I'll tell that and then no more questions 'cause we said we'd finish at 12:00 and we've been sittin' here continuing at it.
There's a story told in the teaching stories that there was a man who, a very rich man, decided to put on a big party. So he sent out invitations to a number of people and said when the great feast was ready he’d send his servants out to bring them in. So he got all this feast all prepared and the barbeque was done, the cows were cooked, the potato salad was made – the whole works, you know. And he called in the runners and said go get all these people.
Well, the first one he went to see said, "I can't come, my father just died and I gotta go bury him.” And the next one he went to said, "I just bought a new John Deere tractor and I gotta go out and try it out." Another one said. "I just bought a new farm and I got to go out and have it surveyed." And this went on… Another guy said, "I just got married, I got to take my wife on a honeymoon." And without exception, all the guests turned down. So when the runners came back and said they all gave these excuses and they told what they were, it said he was very “wrought up” which I think in plain language means pissed off. So he said, called them in and said, "Look boys, go out in the hedge rows and the lanes and the back alleys and down skid row and my house is gonna be filled!" And here we are. (laughter) That's makes us double reason to be thankful. (everyone claps) Have a real good lunch folks. (end of CD 4)
Beginning CD 5
To start off this afternoon with the subject and I'll talk about it, ok? Richard did you lose 'em or somethin’? Lost ‘em.
(Motivation. You hear that a lot.)
Well, I hear it a lot. Motivation is when you suddenly decide there's somethin’ you wanna do. So one good way to notice motivation is sit in a room that catches afire and suddenly you're motivated to get outta there, is that right? Now what is happening? Motivation – you suddenly had a first value, not three or four equal values but one first value: “Could I get out of there before I got burned up?” is that right? Now that's a powerful motivator. I knew a man who set in a wheel chair for several years and all the physicians that examined him said he was not paralyzed except psychologically. So one day a man moved in next-door who enjoyed havin’ pet boa constrictors. One of 'em got out of its cage and slipped through this guy's slightly open door – about a 12 footer – and when it started across the floor suddenly the guy was motivated to no longer to sit in the wheel chair. He run like hell and got outta there. Now that's motivation.
(That's first value.)
That's first value was to get outta there. So now when you have a first value you're already motivated. We all hear about the term "willpower", is that right? Well the term "willpower" is a fancy word for conflict. You see, you wouldn't have willpower unless you didn't wanna do it. And you wouldn't have willpower unless you wanted to do it. So when you're trying to do something you don't wanna do and do at the same time, you're exercisin’ willpower which is as I said is a fancy name for conflict. Now if there's somethin’ you really wanna do you don't have willpower; you just will to do it and you're on your way and you don't even think about willin’. You know if you wanted to go fishin' this afternoon, ok, you wouldn't have to practice willpower would you?
(Right.)
Mmm? You'd just go do it. So willpower is a pretty word for conflict. And will is something you wanna do and it's very much like motivation. Motivation's something you really wanna do. Now you know people have been tryin’ to motivate others for ages – you know that – with very small success. They've tried money and money works good for a while and then that get so it don't work and money don't motivate you any more right?
(Right.)
And titles will motivate people for a while – you're aware of that also, huh? I've been associated, or been a consultant for some sales organizations. One of the major things they do is sit down to dream up titles to give people, huh?
(Makes you work hard.)
Yeah, so you get this title. They dangle a title out in front of you. But the only thing that really motivates a person is something they really want to do; and all the others is just games at it. And willpower is something when you have a conflict you try to do. You know, somebody told you ought to quit smokin’ and you want to smoke but you've been trying to listen to the authority says you don't smoke. Now then you have a struggle with willpower, right? And I'll tell you who wins in the long haul – will. [he laughs] You want the cigarette so you go get it. Willpower was going to overcome the will to smoke by using an opposing power and you had a good conflict over it. That's why New Year's Resolutions, which is somebody decided to do something they don't wanna do, only lasts less than two weeks as an average deal, ok? That answer your question about motivation? You really want to do it you're motivated.
Yes?
(Ok, how would will power and, say, discipline work together?)
You're disciplining yourself or somebody else?
(Doesn't matter.)
Well, I would say yourself, if you're gonna use willpower. It's a synonym. Self-discipline and willpower is one and the same thing.
(Ok.)
It's just a fancy name. You know there's lots of words that all mean the same thing.
(It would be the way to execute your willpower.)
It would be self-discipline, which is another way of saying willpower – self-discipline. One part of you wants to do something. We'll say, “A” wants to gamble and “B” is saying we're not going to allow it and you'd practice self-discipline and willpower. But one day when you least expect it old “A” is gonna get its way and you'll go gamble a little bit. Self discipline, willpower are all things to the contrary.
(So you're really settin' up a game to force yourself to do somethin’ you really don't want to do.)
To fight with yourself. Conflict – we had it over here on the board all morning. Conflict, ok?
(But if you're lovin' what you're doing you don't need –)
You don't need any discipline, you don't need any willpower, you just go do it, isn't that right? I don't do anything that I have to practice willpower and self-discipline on and all that stuff. Now you know when I get up of a mornin’, I discipline myself to drink about a pot of coffee and smoke a half a pack of cigarettes, get my toxicity level up ready to function. And it's no trouble at all ‘cause I like doin’ it, ok? (laughter) You ever gonna discipline yourself, do it over somethin’ you really like to do, ok? Yes?
(Explain the difference between love and agape.)
There is no difference; they are synonyms. There is the one word in English has been translated from four different Greek roots and one of 'em was agape.
(Four different Greek?)
...words. The Greeks were a little more precise. They said pia for the feeling you have for your child or family members. They said eros for the feeling you have for a lady that looks very interesting to you – at the moment. And they said philia for things you like and persons you like and brotherhood and etc. And they said agape – and there's another pronunciation or two or three for it – for the understanding that what other people are doing that at the moment of doing they feel it's right, proper or justifiable. And it's nice to have some of it for yourself.
(Ok. In other words it's...)
It's a synonym for one of their Greek roots, ok? The English put it all up. You know, people say in the same breath, I love you and I love chocolate cake and they use the same word for it and that literally doesn't make too much sense and, of course, you know the English version of I love you is really most of 'em haven't completed the sentence 'cause they are usually referring to agape or brotherhood or somethin’ like that and they say, “I love you.” And the rest of the sentence is, “Therefore you are now obligated to me and must do exactly as I want you to, whenever I want you to or else I will be hurt and then I will cry and it's all your fault, so there!” That's the rest of the sentence. Yes, Richard?
(What are your concepts on expectation as or I have a problem of expecting things like… well, what did you expect when you came here today?)
What did I expect?
(If you came here and no one had been here and if no one came to the meeting, that would probably set up a conflict.)
Oh, I don't think it would. I would have been relieved and went on back home. (laughter) Think of all the work I would have avoided, Richard. I wasn't expecting that there would be a whole bunch of people here. In fact there come up a storm yesterday and the thought crossed my mind maybe nobody will come.
(Should we have expectations?)
I don't know what anybody should or should not do. Most people have an expectation. I have an expectation that most of the people I meet will behave as infants with grown bodies and technical educations. I'm never disappointed on that score and I have had a number of very pleasant surprises. And I've never objected to havin’ a pleasant surprise. I have learned to base my expectations on fact rather than on ideals; that's the only thing I would go by. And I wouldn't tell anybody what they should do 'cause I'm glad that most people still base their expectations on ideals. It makes it easier for me to make a livin’, ok? Makes it much easier for me to make a livin’. You know somebody says, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody in the world were fully conscious and fully awake?" And I say, "I'd have to go to work for a living then." Forget it. [he laughs] That'd be rough. And you know you can fool 95% of the people 95% of time. Abe Lincoln said you can't fool all the people all the time, but he thought about that 5% and havin’ been in business for myself a lot of times through the years, I only want and expect to please about 95%, 95% of the time – that'll keep me goin’ real well. But if I spend all my time tryin’ to please those un-pleasable people, I'll go broke. So when the 5% comes along and they don’t want to be pleased and they blip, blip, blip, let 'em blip and go on. Who cares? I'm lookin' for the 95% ok?
So what would I expect had I been a payin' customer to come here today? Oh I probably would have expected that I'll hear a bunch of claptrap and I'll go listen and see and find out and I can always get up and leave – nobody makes me stay. So I have solved that years ago, Richard. I don't go to talks unless I'm doin' it. [he laughs] I solved it a long time ago. I went to a few of 'em and I didn't go anymore unless I give it, ok? But if I give it, I'm gonna be there.
(I thought you'd come expecting to contribute to what you had previously mentioned this morning – to expect only to give a contribution and –)
No I didn't come to give a contribution. I come because I was requested to come. How long ago did you holler about that?
(Months.)
Months ago. I was in Albuquerque then and it would cost her more expenses for me to be here 'cause I only came from Houston this time. But I did remember because I told you I'd be on time. I called you Friday or Thursday and said I'm around, that right? I only came because I was asked ‘cause I have no urge to straighten out the world, Richard. I love it just like it is and I like all the people just like they are. And I have no missionary, not one missionary cell in my body. Not one.
(How'd you get rid of it?) (laughter)
Well, I saw that it was an awful lot of hard work to try to do it and being a very lazy person by nature I quit, you know. I don’t care… I like everybody like they are. I don't have to have ‘em changed. If they want to ask something, why I'm available but I'm not busy makin’ a contribution. My contribution is a smile at the waitress in the coffee shop when she gives me a cup of coffee and tell her I appreciate it or what-have-you. All my contributions are very small, Richard, ‘cause I don't know how to make any big ones, ok? And as far as I'm concerned this may or may not be a contribution 'cause I don't doubt that some people go out upset. Somebody will misconstrue what I said enough to be upset about it, so I doubt if it's a contribution. But I'm here strictly because I was asked to do so. I will do things like that every once in a while. And they ask me to come here about once a year. When they get all serious and everything's solid and things are gettin’ heavy, why they call for Robert to come in and get the thing livened up again. Let's get back to basics and have a little fun and enjoy this thing. It's such a beautiful place you might as well enjoy it. But you know I go away and there's a bunch of people come by here and they get in all the shoulds and ought to's and have to's that you gotta get involved in and everybody gets all heavy and they're carrying grievous burdens on their shoulder. So I come in with my pick and crowbar and start kickin’ the burdens off, ok? Get this thing lightened up so we can have some fun. Is that right Miss Donna?
(Right)
That about what you get done, isn’t it. So Donna knows about how long it takes to get serious, so she makes arrangement ahead of time for me to get here and loosen things up a little bit. Right Donna? That's my only bit here. No, I didn't have any great shakes. I'd just as soon sit down in Baytown or went to Albuquerque or somewheres else today. I'd a had a good time wherever I was. Ok. I'm havin’ a good time here too, Richard. I enjoy coming here very much. I suppose… I don't know the reason but I do like to come here. I think people are easier to get lightened up a little bit. Everywheres I go, they're heavy when I get there, especially Salt Lake City, Utah. (laughter)
Ooh is that heavy. And I go in and get those good folks all lightened up and they're havin' fun, pull their garments off and everything. (laughter) And they get 'em back on before I get there again. You know about the garments up in Utah? Oh, they're horrible lookin' things. But I get 'em off of 'em. They get 'em off.
(They do? They do take 'em off?)
Oh Lord yes. They get liberated when I go there. But they don't stay very long – the general authorities get back on the job and get 'em all straightened out pretty quick, you know, but I get the thing lightened up. I get Utah where it looks like a decent place to be for a while. So I just like to liberate things and turn them a loose and all that good stuff. I'm not tryin’ to settle all the problems of the world. First place, they don't have any – just believe they do because they're fightin' with things as they are.
I put on the board just as some fun if anybody asks the right question. I got up in the corner of the “Ideal” and off down here “what is.” Would you like to play with that one just for a minute or two? It's kind of light, you know; it's nothin’ very serious about it. So let's start off. “What is” is creation. That's here, isn't it? That's creation. That's what is, is that right? That's here. Now what ought to be, the ideal is what ought to be. That's the other word for the ideal, isn’t it? What ought to be. So by definition, it isn't yet, so it is uncreated. That about right? Would that be of necessity correct? If it's what ought to be, it isn't here yet, so it's uncreated. Creation, of course is real. We can kick you, poke you and you're there, ok? Now uncreated things are unreal, is that right? They're just pictures in our heads – unreal. And if it's real it's a fact. It's a fact you're sittin’ there; Marge is sittin’ there and Marci's sittin’ there and so on, is that right? That's real. If it's real it's a fact.
Now if it is uncreated and unreal, obviously it isn't a fact, is that right? It's illusion… illusion. And I think I told you one time along the way that the struggle towards an illusion was the only disintegrating factor. So if it's a fact and it's real and creation, then it's true. Mmm? Nobody's gonna argue with us about that. And if it's all these things, of course it's a false impression; it's not true. And if it's all these it's created and it's real – it's a fact, it's alive, dynamic, changing all the time, huh? Live, living, changing every moment. This [pointing to the word “ideal” on the board] of course doesn't change, it's static: keep the same old idea year in and year out of what ought to be and we're fightin’ with it because it isn't that way. We can put a lot of other words, but that's enough.
So what basically everybody's doing that's in struggle, conflict and resistance with what is and if what is you feel all ticked off, you feel ticked off – that's it – so you're free to be ticked off. And if you're tryin’ to be always fit some standard or ideal, you're tryin’ to get from here up to here – that's called the stairway to the heavens, you know. And it takes struggle, conflict, resistance whichever word you prefer. So that's what everybody's trying to do that's gonna straighten the world out. I'm not straightening it out 'cause this what is looks good to me. I like it that way – the whole bit. Now do you want to get on that stairway, have fun. Struggle, conflict and resistance which is the only problem we have. If we're not struggling with somethin’ and not in conflict with it or not in resistance to something, you don't have a problem do you? Huh? You may have a little challenge; there's challenges every day. But wouldn't this be a weird world if we had no challenges? I wouldn't like that. I like challenges. Ok, who got the next word here? Marge?
(You made a comment last night when you were talking about… I'm not sure exactly where it came from, you made a comment –)
Good, maybe somebody else said it. (laughter)
(–about, I don't… at the party and all the other guests, I don't have to be involved with any guests that I don't want to.)
I don't have to associate with them very long.
(I don't have to associate with any –)
I don’t have to form an association. I may meet ‘em here, there or on the highway or something; but it don’t take me long –
(What?)
I said you may meet 'em somewheres on the highway or something, but it wouldn't take me long to pull a Hank Snow, you know. “I'm a movin' on.” I don't like being around ‘em. I don't find any fault with them, it's just they don't fit my taste so I move on, ok? You're under no obligation to fit with anybody's guest list.
(Why do they keep showing up?)
Why do they keep showing up? I don't know any –
(If they continue to show up, you continue to move on?)
I continue to take a walk every now and then. You know, you don't have to walk very far to avoid a person. Sometimes just across the room or through the door.
(Is avoidance......)
Good, bad, or indifferent?
(I can't even ask a question, can I?) (laughter)
It's nothin’; it's just your taste. If you don't wanna be around someone why not walk away? I don't see why I should sit around and sit and talk to somebody that I have nothin’ in common with if I don't want to. I sometimes like to listen to ‘em. The only person I really hurry up and pull my Hank Snow on is a bore. Somebody who mrm, mrm, mrm [imitates muttering] and bores me, then I pull a Hank Snow in a big hurry. But all the rest of ‘em I kinda find it interesting, you know. I love to watch a con man work. They're smart. I like to watch ‘em work. I take a walk at the appropriate moment before I give him my billfold. I walk, but nevertheless, I like to watch him. Yes?
(I think Margie's talking about people that come to her that want her to work with them, is it ok to just say –)
If I don't want to work with somebody, if I'm not enjoyin’ ‘em, I'd rather not work with ‘em because I probably won't do much for ‘em, honey.
(Oh, I hear you.)
In other words, because somebody comes to me and says, "Will you listen to me in my tale of woe?" if they don't have something that I feel some simpatico with that person I tell ‘em I'm too busy or something else. Because if I can't feel real good about ‘em, I probably wouldn't do nothin’ for ‘em anyway. And they're very rare. I meet one or two a year like that. And I tell ‘em that I don't think what I could do for ‘em and what it would cost would justify their trouble and expense comin’ to see me.
(That's a problem I could stand to have.)
You'd give it away. But whatever the excuse you want, why it's something… I just don't wanna work with certain people ‘cause, but I will try to refer ‘em tosomebody that I think might be a little simpatica with them. But they just don't… I have a feeling of I like you and [unclear]. I don't feel obligated to work with anybody, so I work with the ones I enjoy and that's about 95% of ‘em.
(That's what I was waiting to hear.)
Ok. You're not obligated to work with anybody just ‘cause they ask you to. Ok?
(Right.)
In other words, you're not obligated to. You're doin’ it out of your free will because you want to. Now it doesn't matter what their condition is or anything. It has nothing to do with it. What does have to do with it is whether I feel a certain rapport with the individual. If I can't feel a rapport, which is in Spanish “simpatica”, I don't want to be doin’ anything with them, ok? I'm in no obligation to them. If I want to be super nice about it I would suggest they go see you. (laughter) You know I can always think of somebody I'd like to wish this one off on. Yes sir?
(Let's carry this a step further. Back when you were in the healing arts, where do we go with the responsibility we have relative to our professional responsibilities in say in that case the case of the patient. Where did you find the line?)
Well, I usually didn't bother to find the line. I didn't look for it. But if there was somebody that first I didn't feel confident in my particular being to take care of that particular case, I referred to a specialist, ok? Second, if the person was utterly obnoxious I referred them out of the office.
(What did you do about the one that hooks into you when you’re halfway far into the therapy program....)
Oh well, then I'm obligated unless I can find somebody that I feel is very adequate to refer. Because once you accept the case and take it then you gotta stick with it come hell or high water until you can gracefully and legally dispose of the person. I could find somebody else to refer ‘em to or I'll go ahead and take care of ‘em whether I like it or lump it, ok? Once you accept the case. But usually I could tell before I accept it and there's very few people that I don't, can't form a rapport with. There has been a few. But I can usually find a rapport with almost anybody. But some I couldn't and those I let go. And probably in the many years that I worked I probably never sent more that five or six or seven on their way ‘cause they were just… I could not get a feeling of rapport at all with them. Now after it starts, then I'll hang in there come whatever, ok?
(Did you ___ in on becoming the responsibility in general ....)
Responsibility – I am for this one person right here [pointing to himself] and that's the only person I'm responsible for. I can assume duties for all sorts of other people. But a duty is something you can pick up and therefore lay down. Responsible is what you are for yourself. Now I could cook you a beautiful dinner and set it in front of you but you're responsible for eating it. I may take on the duty of providing you with one lovely meal every day for two years. That would be a duty. So let's separate duty and responsibility. As you mentioned, a physician takes on a case he has a responsibility to continue with that case until he feels that he better refer it to somebody else, a specialist or whatever. But not just to not be available and say, "Go hang it up." You can't do that – that's his duty that he accepted.
In all kinds of work, we assume duties. We assume duties for families and all these things, but any duty can eventually end. A child finally grows up after… it used to be 21 years, now it's about 38, but they finally can buy their own cars and pay their own bills and so forth, ok? Then your duty is over with, right? If you pick up a lady and you get married to her and as long as you're married to her, you have certain duties and you can go to the court and get a divorce and that ended your duties except what the court laid on you. I had a friend who went to court – a man who got a divorce recently and got child support. It was a totally non-contested case and the judge said, “How much is the mother gonna pay child support?” He said, “Nothin', I'm takin’ care of it.” The judge said, “I will not allow that. She's gotta pay $30 a month child support.” So he said there was a good reason for that was that if she didn't pay it, she'd be in contempt of court and she couldn't come back after awhile and say, “I wish I hadn't of made the custody over to you,” and so now she has no grounds to get it. Anyway that was the judge's legal bit.
So now this is where duties, we can pick up any kind of duty and lay it down, ok? For persons, for anything else. But responsible is what each of us are for ourselves. I'm the only man that can eat for me. I'm the only one that can drink a glass of water for me. I'm the only one that can go to the bathroom for me. I'm the only one that can take a nap for me, is that right? So then that's responsible. Duty and the word responsible merely means able to respond. Now infants aren't able to respond for themselves, invalids are not able to respond so many of us many times take on duties for those people, ok? And duties you can pick up and lay down. That's the difference in the definition and I think it's wise that we don't use the street term, which is interchangeable, but that we be a little technical about it in our own mind. Duty and responsibility is a separate entity, ok? Does that help with your question? Ok, next point somewheres around. Here you are Miss Margie.
(I have a problem. It's listening to people criticize me or others and...)
Well, in the first place....
(Sometimes I can do what you say....)
What's that?
(Well, I talk this over with myself and decided what you would tell me.) (laughter)
I'm not sure you did. I'm not sure you come up with the right one.
(You don't pay any attention; you know who you are and what you are and....)
Well, I would be very quick when they're criticizing me. I have a quick answer.
(Well, what is it?)
“You have very poor taste.” You know if anybody criticizes me, they just have very poor taste. Now if they're criticizing somebody else, I just listen 'cause really that don't matter much unless it's somebody around. You know if I heard somebody criticizing you, I'll tell ‘em they had poor taste too. Heard somebody criticizing Marge, I would tell ‘em they had very poor taste. And if they're criticizing Mary Karris, I say well you're on the borderline. (laughter.) Things like that you know, I'd get along with but keep it that way. Yes Ma’am.
(Don't you think there's such a thing as good criticism?)
Oh yes, the criticisms I would make are very good. The ones you would do are not so hot; and the ones other people do are simply atrocious. Now my criticism is all constructive, honey.
(That's what I'm trying to say.)
I said all the criticism that I would do (if I did any) would be constructive criticism.
(I know, but can I assume that someone else, say my husband, would have some constructive criticism for me?)
Well, I hope you assume it, but don't believe it. (laughter) It's a good assumption but I'm not in favor of criticizin’ people because I've found that I’m just expressing my viewpoint and I don't have one that's very worthwhile. I have to have an ideal to compare them with. So I've heard of constructive criticism but when it comes at you, it don't sound very constructive does it Marci? Huh?
(Sometimes it hurts.)
Well, that's what I'm talkin’ about. And why should I practice something hurtin' somebody? They didn't ask me to. Now if somebody came and specifically said, "Bob, will you observe me over a period of time and tell me what you observe in my activity?” – not about them, but in their activity. Because all I can observe about anybody is that they're a human being and they're pretty wonderful things in my book. Now your activity could be quite different and I have told a few people – on their insistence – what I observed in their activity – but not about them. You see I'm totally incapable of telling you anything about you. If you ask me how your activity goes over in general I could tell you about it. But that's not criticism, that's just telling you how it works. As far as I'm concerned you're a unique work of art and there's not another one in all the world like you and any unique work of art is perfect for that particular one. And I could not find any reason to criticize any person. And only if they insist on me tellin’ them how their behavior goes over with other people, I would do that. But they gotta insist on it for quite a while so I'm sure they mean it. Yes ma'am.
(All right, but what you're saying is you're practicing unconditional love.)
That has been mentioned. That has been mentioned, yes, 'cause what you do is not necessarily you… it may be somethin’ altogether different. Yes Ma'am?
(Sometimes people are insisting on criticism. They don't actually come to you and say, do you think that I exist with that fix. When I've noticed people doing criticism, they're either trying to push their way –)
...on you..
(Or if they say nothing at all; they have a haughtiness.)
Oh yeah, well they're above all this stuff here. So I just like people like they are so I don't get caught in either one of those pictures, honey. I like you just like you are. I like everybody else just like they are. And if I don't like 'em, I'm not gonna be around very much, ok? I'm gonna be in other places. I have no place I'm addicted to so I can be some other place. Yes?
(A person that is a critical person that criticizes you or others....)
That is a critical person did you say? Ok.
(Would you say they're one of those infants in grown up bodies?)
Well, naturally. They're just goin’ around criticizin’ because what else is there to do today? You know. If I find fault with people continually, I am insistin’ that I'm not bein’ treated right and all this good stuff. Is that somewheres close to right? So I just consider it's poor taste and go on. If they wanna criticize me, they just have very poor taste and what have I got in common with people with poor taste?
(Sometimes I can do that when I'm awake, and when I go to sleep....)
.....when you remember...
(I get hooked.)
Oh but when you go to sleep, yes you're like anybody else, you'll get hooked up there. But that's what I said – if we value being awake as much as you would your lipstick or I would a cigarette why you won't forget. You don't ever go very far without your lipstick in your purse, do you?
(Shakes head no.)
I didn't think so. So let's put as much value on being awake as you do a 10 cent store tube of lipstick, ok? Yes, Beth?
(If a person criticizes my friend and it bothers her, is it all right for her then to say, "Why do you feel the need to criticize me?")
Well, anything's all right, but I hate to ask why questions even of critics, you know. So I would probably just look at 'em and say, "You have very poor taste."
(laughter) And you know, that has a tremendous effect on folks. Somebody starts criticizing me, I just look 'em straight over and say, "Man, you have poor taste."
(Bob, then why are they criticizing me and then I'm ____.)
I don't want to get caught in that little trap. So just say, "You have very poor taste." Criticize their taste a little bit, not them, but their taste, ok? And, you know, it usually breaks the ice and somebody can find somethin’ to laugh about then and get it goin’ good.
(It's easier to say, "You may be right.")
Oh I probably could. In fact I've told ‘em a few times they were absolutely right and that really shakes them up too.
(I've done that too.)
When you say, you know, somebody comes and says, "You're a very greedy individual." You said, "You better believe it." When somebody says, "You talk too much," and I say, "I know it and I’m gonna keep on talkin’ too much, ‘cause I make my livin’ talkin’.” One way or another, you know. So the more I talk the better living I make so why not. And it can go on. Yes, to agree with people when they're criticizing you seems to have the effect of they start defendin’ you almost immediately because it has an awakening affect on ‘em. And I wouldn't tell ‘em they may be right, I'd say you're absolutely correct, ok? Absolutely correct – then they start defendin’ you unbelievably, you know. Even when we mentioned a little while ago that in a restaurant anywheres you can please 95% of the people 95% of the time, when one of these folks came in that couldn't be pleased no matter what and they started criticizing company, we told them they were absolutely correct: we were building our business on chiseling people. And immediately they would start defending us. And they'd be there from then on all the time. So, you know why not get your detractors to defend you if you want to? Agree with them that you are the lowest class person around, ok? Yes sir?
(What is the underlying motive for gossip?)
Who knows… there's probably a thousand reasons for anything. I never try to work on what a person's motive is. One thing I have observed is one of the motives, ok? I don't know what the underlying is, but one of those things I've observed that a person who has a feeling of inferiority has a very decided tendency to gossip and criticize everybody else in sight. Ok? If you have a big sense of inferiority you gotta try to get over it. If you wanna see that in action, go to a rooster fight somewheres. When one rooster gets the other one down he jumps up on top of him and crows even though he falls dead a split second later. So you know when I can gossip about you or criticize you I am crowing so to the effect that I got you down, ok? There's probably gobs of motives. Tryin’ to figure out any given motive for any given action gets pretty busy because I think there's a multitude of motives involved in about everything any of us do, ok? Next point if we may. What's the subject?
(Well, taking that one step further, best not to have that feeling of inferiority. And that...)
I don't know whether it's best or not. I don't see any reason for you to ever have a sense of inferiority. You're a privileged invited guest here and if you have anything.... So I don't know why you could feel inferior you see. Now when we stop to think of it, you know all of us are inferior to somebody else in one way or another. I can't fly a jet airplane but I can sure ride in it, ok? And I'm glad I don't have to fly it. I'm glad there's a guy up there doin’ it. I can't weave my own clothes so I'm sure glad that I can go down to the store and get some, ok? That some other weaver did; but I'm inferior to him. I don't know how to dig oil out of the ground and pump it out and get it processed so I can make it into gasoline for my car, so I'm inferior to those people; but I'm sure glad I can drive up to the tank and put it in. But I can do some things none of those can do, ok? So then I'm a unique work of art and quite pleased to be me with all my little limitations. And I'm not interested in being anything else so I'm glad they're here doing their thing and I'm doing my things, ok? I can do three or four things, do ‘em quite well. But I can't do everything. So I'm dependent on other people and so we're all unique works of art. And the first time I find somebody walking down the street with their feet about 6 feet in the air and their head on up 6 above that and I'm having to walk with my feet on the ground, I'll feel inferior. But until I meet him I won't, ok? Him or her. I see one space walkin’ right down the street, I'll be wonderin’ about that just a little bit. I'll go tip my hat and bow a little bit. ‘Til then, "Hi, how are you?" We're all walkin’ with our feet on the ground and that's good enough for me, ok? Yes dear?
(Affirmation? Meditation?)
Keep talkin’. You're sayin’ pretty words.
(I know. I want to what your thinking is and I'm sure....)
I don't bother to think about either one.
(You don’t. You don't do either?)
Well, I certainly don't go around making affirmations because I've heard people make ‘em. Somebody got a bursting headache and they say, "I don't have a headache, I don't have a headache, I don't have a headache." Well you wouldn't be makin’ the affirmation if you didn't have a headache – crap – you know, so why be kiddin’ yourself that you're tryin’ to make yourself believe something you know to be untrue, is that right? Every affirmation I've ever heard a person makin’ was they were trying to convince them of something they knew not to be true at that moment. Otherwise you're not affirming about it, you already got it. Right?
(What if I want it?)
Well, why not go get it then? There's a magic word by which all things have been accomplished. Very simple.
(What?)
Work. Dirty four-letter word. W - O - R - K.
(Work. I don't understand.)
But to get whatever you want.
(Well, that's what I'm affirming.)
Well…
(To get what I want...)
Well, I know, but mama told me if I spit in one hand and wished in the other and see which one got fulliquated… That wasn't exactly the word she used either, but you can figure the other one.
(I don't understand that parable.)
You don't.
(No.)
Well, when you want something, you put forth a reasonable amount of effort you will get a return for your effort. That seems to be one of those balance things we talk about, ok? And if you’re just affirmin’ it you're expectin’ it to fall out of the ceiling by some miraculous means, you know? And so why not just go out and expend a wee bit of effort and get whatever it is you want. You can always get it, you know, if you put forth the effort.
(All right, you're talking about programming this morning, things that we want that were very little.)
Yeah and that was probably one of ‘em.
(And that's been pretty well deeply ingrained in me.)
Is to what – affirm?
(What?)
To affirm for things.
(No.)
To work for it? It's a good way to get it – it works good, it works pretty well. When it quits workin’ well, let me know. Now what do you mean by the word meditation?
(I'm not through with affirmation.) (laughter)
Ok, well, all right, let's hang in there. What do you want to affirm?
(I want an answer.)
Well, I gave one but what other answer do you want now? What do I think about it, you said; I don’t think about it.
(You haven't let me finish my thought.)
Ok, I'll be real quiet and let you finish it.
(Now the programming that we got when we were very little, that I got, that I had to please everybody to be worthy. And that was my programming and I'm aware of that.)
Ok.
(All right. Now I'm 38 years old, almost, and I....)
...and nobody would ever believe it.
(Thank you. I am still affirming that I love myself.)
You are.
(But I'm not there yet.)
Because you affirm it. That's what I said. We only affirm things we don't believe.
(That's right.)
Now may I offer something that would work a lot faster?
(What?)
That you're perfectly free to feel that you don't like yourself. You're perfectly free to not like yourself and let's see if it don't happen very quickly instead of this long drawn-out trying to convince yourself of somethin’ you don't believe.
(Right. That I understand.)
That you understand. Ok, now you feel a certain way. That's a fact. It's not a fact that you're inferior, but it's a fact you feel that way, is that correct? All right, let's just report that – that you feel inferior.
(All right.)
And let's let it alone. And we don’t affirm anything about it because all the affirming only reinforces the idea that you're inferior because you're talkin’ about it and thinkin’ about it every day of the week. What's wrong with anybody feeling inferior for a few minutes? Good Lord we all are. So let's do it another way just as an experiment 'cause you've been doin’ this for a long time and you still feel inadequate and all this good stuff, is that right? So I maintain that affirmations only reinforced this feeling, which really is not factual. But you believe it from childhood on.
(Right.)
I think it only enforces it.
(All right.)
Now have I finished with it all right? Now have I finished with that one? Now we'll go to the next word. The next word is meditation. Now I have to know what you mean by the word meditation ‘cause I know many definitions for it. Which is the one that you subscribe to? What definition for meditation would you describe it as being? (end of CD 5)
Beginning CD 6
Ok good. Sure will. Ok now, the question was to start with would we talk about how to get rid of stress. Well we wouldn't want to get rid of it, just kind of slow it down. So we said that one time, one good way of lookin’ at it was like a little seesaw board and here's the sawhorse and here's the board and here is the person's thing they're going on: environment, inner feeling, activity, and nutrition. Now you cannot conceive a person doesn't have those four states goin’ on around them all right, is that correct? And the next one here is this is your state of being. Now if these over here are very far from optimum – if your environmental stresses are heavy, your inner feeling is all in a dither and your activity is very erratic and your nutrition leaves a bit to be desired… nobody knows how it oughta be. But let's say if you tried to live on pancakes, white syrup, and oleo why you'd probably need a little bit of assistance on your nutrition, huh? Think so?
(Uh-huh.)
So the closer these are toward optimum – all for 'em, not just one of 'em, but the whole bit – if we take 'em toward optimum. Now I don't think anybody knows what optimum is because it varies with each of us from moment to moment. But let's say that we started (he writes on the board) O - P - T - I – M – U – M, I think, so we were going toward optimum. So possibly the optimum inner feeling would be, you know for good every day activity (I'm not talkin’ about for delightful states for weekends of ecstatic states and so forth, I'm just talking about everyday run) probably vital interest or enthusiasm. Let's say enthusiasm… be about as high as you wanna get and still work. After that you don't wanna go to work, you want to stay home and enjoy it. So enthusiasm would be that.
What would be the environment would be wherein you were not in conflict with anything in the environment. Now obviously we live where there's lots of Anopheles mosquitos chewin’ on us, we're liable to come up with a little malaria and I wouldn't call that a nice environment. Neither would I wanna live where there was a lotta static and noise and etc. They went in a slum area in LA and took head counts of how many alcoholics. And it was near the airport so they decided the noise made the alcoholics. Another guy went in and studied it and he said it was their economic situation and it was the only place drunks could rent apartments. So I don't know. All according to which experts you want to buy. So I figured they got down there together.
And activity, I think that the best knowledge I know of activity would be that if every day you moved every joint and every muscle at least once you'd probably do pretty well in the activity. It's surprising how many days we can go and not move certain ones. I watched a television show the other night about women bodybuilders; you know, the big muscle width, the weightlifters and all this stuff. And Arnold, the guy who has won more big things than anybody else – six Olympics, Mr. Olympics, in a row – said that having all these muscles didn't indicate that you were healthy. And he said in fact you would not be healthy if you did it. That made me feel a lot better, you know, so I don't have to go around swinging the iron anymore. But he said you had to choose between bein’ healthy and winnin’ competition and he wanted to win competition so that's what he did.
But obviously anything in extreme is not very well whether it's body-buildin’ or anything else. But certainly a little keepin’ the body in tone is very desirable as toward optimum. So if you kept the body in tone, eat what you were hungry for, but be sure you got hungry before you decided to eat what you were hungry for. You know, I can think of a hundred and one things that might taste nice this afternoon. But if I do without eating about 36 to 48 hours, then I get hungry. And at hungry, you're always hungry for something and if you do that you'll eat what's good for you, not what's necessarily right for somebody else. There's a jillion books out here tellin’ you what to eat but that's for that person, maybe, but maybe it would kill me… cause most of 'em include drinkin’ sweet milk. And if I drank that you would have to get hooks to pull me down off of the ceiling up there, you know. It don't set with me at all.
So you could find out for yourself what's good for you; but get hungry and then you will know. And of course very few of us have ever really been hungry. We just went past our usual time of eating, that right? You may do that and you feel a little agitation. It's like going past your usual time to have drink or whatever it may be – you get all agitated but that's not hunger you see. So if you're really hungry.
So I would say that one check the environment to see that it was pleasing to themselves and reasonably sanitary, you would relieve environmental stresses. Inner feeling: get enough comprehension that you could be in a state of vital interest or enthusiasm most of the time. And that you indulged in enough physical activity to at least stretch once every day all over. Maybe a little more might not hurt anything but we're not talkin’ about going to extremes on anything. And nutrition, we're certainly not talking about going into faddist stuff and so forth. Go down and talk to Beth in a few days and she will tell you what's good nutrition, right Miss Beth?
(Right.)
It'll be what she has for sale. (laughter) That's the only kind she's buying, right Beth? And I will refer all of ‘em there, honey, and you take good care of 'em – don't knock 'em out, ok?
(All right.)
Beth's gonna start operating a health food store selling only organic food. Now of course I have never seen any inorganic food, have you? You ever seen an inorganic tomato? (laughter) Well, I'm just promotin’ your business Beth. Huh? With my kind of promotion, you don't need any detractors, is that it? Well, I'm sure if it goes through Beth's place that her mood will add to the value of the nutrition in it. I will guarantee that. Even if she took the same potato they sold at the grocery store next door and it come out of her place, I'll guarantee you it'll be charged up better. Now I'm not gonna give us any of these wild esoteric ideas that she shoots extra energy and all that stuff into it. But you know I can go in a restaurant and if the cook's feelin’ lousy and he's upset I get a bellyache if I try to eat his stuff. And if the cook’s happy and feeling good and the waitress that brings it, it sure does set a lot better. I don't know what else goes on there but I don't like to eat when a cook’s not feeling well. I'm very concerned with his well-being, especially his mood. I’m very concerned with that. So I think that way we can kind of keep up, just keep in mind these four things and go toward optimum, not trying to get there, ok, just in that direction. Yes sir?
(Dr. Bob, there’s a subject that we all think about but don't talk very much about and that's sex. Could you give us your....)
Oh I don't think about it. But what do you want to know about it? I think it's here to stay. (laughter) That's the first thing and about the only thing I know of it. What else you wanna know about it? They have a book out of all you ever wanted to know about sex and was afraid to ask and it'll tell you. But what do you wanna know and what do you want me to talk about? I just know it's here to stay. I think. The bees got so organized and so communistic that nothin' but the queen bee has it anymore, so all the workers got kicked out, so you better be careful.
(Bob what I was thinking about, you consulted many people that are –)
I have talked to two or three people on their matter of their sexual being. Right, sir.
(And why does it cause so much trouble amongst....)
We said we wouldn't answer any why questions.
(All right.)
Not answer any why question. What's going on here I will try to talk about. What's going on is that most people try to make sex provide something that it cannot do, ok? They want it to make them happy and they want it to be eternally delightful and zapping and all that kind of stuff and you know, at first it may be that way but after a while it gets so it's a little more gentle and not quite so exciting. And some people are disappointed it goes that way and they keep on lookin’ for that stage. Just like I have talked to many people who early in life somewheres along had their first drink of alcohol and they got a wonderful glow and a great good feelin’ and then they're tryin’ for 40 years to get that feeling back again. And never did quite get it, ok? I know. So then you see it's the same sort of thing. So hunting for the ideal or for the new and the exciting has made into a tremendous lot of problems. So, of course everybody tries to blame everybody else because their sex life is not quite as exciting as it used to be. Another thing, I don't think your hormones will ever be quite at the intense level they are when they were say 16 to 18; I don't think they'll ever be there again anymore, ok? And we might as well recognize that the years certainly improve what used to be called our morals, ok? (laughter) Now it's caused your drive and so forth; but certainly recognize that the years certainly improve what used to be called your morals, ok. Any other questions on that, comment? It’s a great and wondrous thing, but don't try to make it do something that it's not designed to do – make you happy. It's not important – but it is very, very, very interesting. But it's not important and you don't have to have it to survive. At all. And somebody asked me a minute ago about boy/girl relationships – man/woman, right? I have noticed that they have the same trouble in boy/boy relationships and girl/girl relationships 'cause I have more of those come see me than I do have the other kind. And they really get in problems over it in a big way… and, oh, it's so devastating. And they break up and they have another one tomorrow night, so it's all right. But man, they don't bother to let it ruin the whole weekend. Just don't ruin the whole evening. (laughter) And be so devastating for a while. You know the word devastating…you just fall apart.
(Will you talk just a little bit about how to report?)
Simply. Ok, I will report.
(Not-I's or...)
No, just report anything that comes along.
(If you're happy you report that.)
Why not?
(Attitude and...)
And if you… Don't report things about yourself, preferably, ok? Let some friend do that for you. Report about somebody else. Don't try to use esoteric or spiritual methods for yourself; those techniques are for use for other people. They're gifts. And so many people try to use ‘em always for themselves and they got ingrown attention and so it's always used for somebody else; it tends to get your attention outwardly. And the ingrown attention is more painful than an ingrown toenail or an ingrown whisker. So you report – let's say that somebody comes and tells me that they have a very severe pain in their shoulder, for instance. Which shoulder? Right shoulder. Ok, I would simply report that Susie Q has a severe pain in her right shoulder. Now I forget about it, ok? Somebody is havin’ delusions of conflict about somethin’ going on in their head, why I would simply report that the same way. You report like a reporter was and you don't go into bein’ a propagandist and saying what should be done about it, ok? Just simply.
(I misunderstood that. I thought that the way to do it was for me to report about the not-I's that were...)
Oh well, you do that about somebody else. If you got one buggin’ you, tell me and I'll report for you, ok? I'd rather not do anything for myself. I only have one grounds to be and that’s to be thankful, ok? For myself. I can be thankful for me but any reporting I'd rather it's one or the others of you would do it. I don't care who does it as long as you do it accurately, ok? Works pretty good doesn't it, Miss Linda? Just report simply and that's it. Works real good.
(I'm not sure I understand.)
I'm not sure you do either. That's two of us.
(What do you mean, I want someone else to report for me?)
Well, I would much prefer for anything for me. Let's say that I had a pain in my right elbow. I'm already aware of it and reported it, but I’d probably make it a wee bit important 'cause it's on me. Now I can't be too objective about it there.
(Ok.)
So I'd ask you to report it and you're not feeling pain, you’d be very objective. Huh?
(To…? I didn't...)
To the Host I guess; that's a good enough word.
(Ok, ok.)
To Life. Just report it and don't tell them what to do about it 'cause, you know that's an insult to me to try to tell Life what to do. I think it's smart enough to figure that out.
(You said if I have a pain in my elbow, I have the pain because the very fact that I'm aware that I have a pain means that I've already reported this thing.)
You've obviously reported, but you're also making it a little important to get rid of so you better let me do it to be purely objective about it, ok?
(Wonderful.)
Or you do it for me so I will be, so you can be purely… you can be objective about any discomfort I have, right? Cause you're not feeling it, ok? Good. That's why we say don't be goin’ around doin’ things for yourself. That's another reason I wouldn't make an affirmation – you're workin’ for yourself. If you made an affirmation for somebody else you might even believe it; but when it's for you, you wouldn't do it. See?
(Can I get someone else to make one for me?)
I'd be happy to make one for you.
(Bob, am I hearing that if you, by whatever means try to project in this case a healing for this other person, are you then taking on a godlike role?)
Nope, nope, nope, nope. Life's doin’ the healing; I'm only reporting it to Life that such a condition exists and I'm not attemptin’ to treat, heal or cure. I'm only reporting the situation as it is.
(Then you ...)
Then I go on about my business and then I'm not, I can't come along after while and say, “I healed them,” cause I don't know. X, Life, Spirit did that – I didn't do it. And certainly I respect it enough to know what to do when I report something to it, ok? I don't have to give it instructions.
(Is that an esoteric process?)
What? Givin’ it instructions?
(Report for somebody.)
Oh it's unnecessary, but it's kinda nice I guess.
(I don't understand what you mean by not-I.)
Well, I went through it a while ago, but if you like, I'll do it privately with you after awhile. It is pretty well… You got that little book again? You know we might want to sell a few of these things. They're all lined up here. That's the crowd.
(All right.)
And it tells inside here step by step that what they do, ok?
(Ok.)
And I think it would be well, while you'd understand very clearly. It's a phrase we use: there's the sticker up for rights there and there's the other.... No you can't have this one, you got to buy ‘em downstairs. But they have ‘em for sale. Miss Donna has ‘em down there. You have that little book downstairs?
(Five bucks.)
Five dollars and it would be cheap at half the price.
(4%.)
No, it's less that 1%, really because the books cost us almost… and they cost $3.80 to us from the printer. So I'm not even making 1%, much less 2% on 'em, but I would like to make 4% on ‘em so we'd have some for $20 to get that. And it'd be worth it, ok.
(You said that I have a pain, ok.)
Yeah, say your left shoulder’s just having ringtail fits.
(I just report it.)
Oh, you already know it's there.
(Ok, then I can be still in the pain and the pain goes away…or the energy takes the pain.)
Whatever.
(All right.)
You can do that but you're pretty apt to make it a little important and when you do, all you do is get the anxiety. So I could be very objective about a pain in your shoulder, Beth. So it's nicer when somebody else does it. But there's no law against you doin’ anything. You can do anything you durn well please. But it works a lot better if somebody else does it. They can be objective about it and only report and not say, “Make poor Beth's shoulder better.” No we're not tryin’ that routine. Just simply reporting Beth has a pain and severe pain in her left shoulder. That's enough. Then quit, let it alone, go away. Forget about it, don't ever repeat it, just go on, ok?
(Don't diagnose?)
No, you know about diagnosis don't you?
(Oh tell that one.)
(Do that again – the word diagnose.)
Well, go look in Dorland's Dictionary; it's the best place I know of to look for it. It says that "di" is a Greek prefix meaning two. "Agno" is a Greek root word meaning “I don’t know” like an agnostic. And "osis", of course, is a condition of. Like tuberculosis is a condition of having tubercles all around through you. So diagnosis is a condition of two not knowin’. (laughter) The patient didn't know and went down and told the doctor in English something and the doctor translates it after many tests into technical language and says, you have thus and so. So he didn't know and the patient didn't know. Now that's in Dorland's dictionary. It's not somethin’ Robert makes up to be funny. You know even Dorland's Medical Dictionary's got some pretty good jokes in it if you know where to look, so look under diagnosis. That's just one – I'll give you a hundred more. That's real good. I like that. Did you look it up Doug?
(What?)
I said did you look it up in Dorland's?
(Last year?)
You went back and looked at it and it said just what I said it did, didn't it? It's right now in Dorland's Medical Dictionary.
(“Di” which is through and "gnosis" which is knowing.)
Where'd you get that book?
(It’s Dorland’s.)
Now not Dorland's you didn't unless there's a new edition. It's not from "gnosis" it's from “agnosis”. "Diag" – look at it, it says it's got the "a" in it. If you spell diagnosis without an "a" you misspelled it.
(That what I said "dia" is through… D - I - A.)
Naw, not right. You got it wrong. You read the wrong book. Ok, next question. Times up. It is now 4:15. We went 15 minutes overtime today so we'll start 15 minutes late tonight.
(Awwww. (and laughter from the audience) We had a 15 minute break.)
No, we only had 10. (end of CD 6)
Life and Living Page 1
Life and Living Page 2
Life and Living Page 4