Excerpts - The Boy/Girl Relationship

Excerpts about boy/girl relationships
from Experiencing Freely Workshop 

So you’re boyfriend says, “I’m tired of you”. “I don’t want to put up with you anymore.” Is that “good or bad?” We’re like the man with the horse -- I don’t know. [look for the Arabian Horse Story on the website] “I just know he said he’s not putting up with me anymore, okay?” So you’re “free to experience” being rejected to that degree. So what? It will decidedly change everything now and then; but you’ll see you can see it different in a few days, “Well, I’m glad I wasn’t stuck with that jerk.” Because then you have something a lot better, or it will all straighten around whatever the case may be. It will come along. 

The point is, you don’t know whether it’s “good or bad” because you don’t know the outcome of it a week from now, a month from now, or a year from now or anything else. When you take the “good or bad” out of the way you’re just looking at it and experiencing it freely -- then it can change.

 One case that particularly comes to mind over on the east coast this year -- a man felt he was horribly rejected by his lady who said she’d never be with him again -- no matter what! But they are together again; and they are probably having a better time than they ever had in their lives before. She’s being treated like a princess every day of the week; and he’s very happy to be treating her that way. 

Now had this so called “bad” event not come up, it probably would have been lumping along about like it had been for several years which was neither terrible or possible. It was just a situation that wasn’t any great shakes for either one. Now it’s fantastic for them. 

So who can say that that was a terrible situation to happen or that it was bad. All that got it straightened around was that we kept working and working with the person to experience freely what’s going on here now, which decidedly raised the consciousness level with the people involved and brought about an entirely, totally, completely different situation -- one of which both of them are delightfully happy and pleased -- more so than they have ever been in their life -- everything’s working for them better than it ever worked before. Now there’s more income coming in -- there’s more of everything. There wasn’t any great hardships before or anything, but just a lot of things are different, to a very decidedly degree. 

So I can highly recommend that we start an experiment that “I can experience this freely” saying that to ourselves and then acting upon it. I’m going to “experience this freely.” Now you wouldn’t get out of experiencing if you didn’t do it freely, is that right? You’re going to be in the same situation, but you will be experiencing it with much more turmoil than if you were experiencing it freely. You can see how that would be because you’re adding your conflict and struggles and resistances into it. 

[Later in the work shop .....]

Trying to be happy – find a “perfect mate”? 

A lady called me yesterday and said she’d been trying to be happy all her life and it was getting worse every day. I suggested that she quit trying to be happy and see if she could amuse a few people around her. I said, “After all, you can make a wiseacre remark now and then and somebody else will laugh”. I said “They all feel as miserable as you do”. Oh, she said, “I never thought of that.” 

But the point is, you see, that as long as she’s trying to be happy, she’s checking up constantly to say she’s not. 

So she just recently made total complete changes in her life -- in everything -- and she found she was more miserable than she was before. She threw the husband overboard because she had a perfect illusion all dreamed up. I guess a not “I” had laid it out that if she left the present situation where she was, she would be pursued by the ideal man who would pour great sums of money at her feet, and take her to all the beautiful places in the world, and ensconce her in a beautiful castle that cost at least a million dollars. In addition she’d have fine automobiles and furs and friends of the jet-set and etcetera. 

However, it worked out that it wasn’t quite that way. In fact, she had gotten her a new man; and he turned out to be a real drunk. He had even bopped her a couple of times which previously the one she had been married to some twenty-odd years had not. The first one had ignored her a few times, but he hadn’t bopped her. This new man was an athlete and was very interested in athletic behavior, and he came in and “bop” on the poor soul. 

So, of course, she was in a sad state of affairs -- what’s she going to do now? So I told her quit trying to be happy. Maybe the day she quit trying to be happy, she’d see that she wouldn’t want to trade places with anybody. But as long as she was trying to be happy, I guarantee she’d be miserable. Long as you’re trying to be happy……Well, why not just enjoy the show that’s going on out here. 

Relationships-boy/girl 

So if one is “free to experience” whatever is, whatever is the discomfort -- whether it is distortion, whether it’s being rejected by someone, whether it is some event that took place that you were totally unprepared for. If you’re “free to experience” it, you have gone a very long way towards changing it because higher consciousness always changes it. Only a person in a more desirable state of consciousness is free to experience whatever may arise today. 

So you’re boyfriend says, “I’m tired of you.” “I don’t want to put up with you anymore.” Is Is that good or bad? We’re like the man with the Arabian horse, who didn’t bother whether anything was “bad or good” – he just kept replying to the neighbors that he didn’t know whether the passing events were bad or good. So all you know is he said that he’s not putting up with me anymore, ok? So you’re “free to experience” being rejected to that degree, so what? It will decidedly change every thing now whether you would see it in a few days, “Well, I’m glad I wasn’t stuck with that jerk.” Because you had something a lot better, or it will all straighten around whatever the case may be -- it will come along. 

The point is, you don’t know whether it’s good or bad because you don’t know the outcome of it a week from now, a month from now, or a year from now or anything else. 

More about boy/girl from Role Playing School Talk 

Did you ever start going out with some guy or the guy’s going out with some girl and you acted like you were very much in love with her for one reason or another or same for him for one reason or another, that feeling wasn’t all together there at the moment. So you played a romantic role.

 How did you begin to feel in a little while -- rather romantic? It turns the whole “bod” on, it gets it all going, doesn’t it? Huh? I’m only offering as a demonstration that some of us have at least played one of these roles now and then, huh? Makes all this happen, doesn’t it? 

You “think and act and feel” and it all goes to work and very suddenly you are feeling very romantic, is that right? 

[Later on in the tape Role Playing #2 .....]

Did I tell you about the guy from California three or four months ago that told me that he came home from work one day and his live-in girlfriend relater of three or four years had left a note on the kitchen table and said, “It’s all over with -- I’m gone -- don’t try to find me.” 

He said that was Thursday afternoon when he came home from work. He said, “I didn’t sleep all night.” “I couldn’t work Friday morning.” “I was in a real mess.” Then about 2:00 pm Friday afternoon, I kind of got a hold of myself and said, “I’m not going to let this wreck my whole weekend.” 

I tell these people that call up with their sad woe-be-gone crushed love affairs that story; and none of them seem to think it’s funny. I think it is. I think that’s long enough to be torn up over a relationship -- from Thursday afternoon until Friday at 2:00 pm. That way you lost one night’s sleep and couldn’t work all the next morning -- then it’s time to get it over with -- don’t let it wreck your whole weekend. That tells you how important those things are, ok?