When I asked a fellow student of the teachings about somebody who I saw as \u201codd\u201d in their behavior or ability, he said, \u201cAw, they just showed up that way.\u201d\u00a0 It seems that I \u201cshowed up\u201d with an obsession to being a \u201cpleaser\u201d<\/p>\n
See #3 in the picture of man.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n With the introduction to the teachings, I observed the \u201cpleaser\u201d running much of the day\u2019s activities.\u00a0 It seemed the only way I knew to function with people.\u00a0 I felt even though I was \u201casleep, it was better to be B sided than A sided.<\/p>\n As the observing \u201cself\u201d went along, I realized that unconsciously, I was being controlled by the four dual basic urges.<\/p>\n See Four Dual Basic Urges.<\/a><\/p>\n I could certainly see that one motivation to please was to escape disapproval; and that only led to jumping around in the picture of man.\u00a0 I would flip to #5, wanting to \u201cself-improve\u201d, or \u201cact differently\u201d, and if that didn\u2019t work I was tempted to A-side #2 and to \u201cstick up for my rights\u201d<\/p>\n Pleasing (whether I wanted to or not) also lead to a desire to be appreciated (which if wasn\u2019t expressed back to me) led to disappointment and an urge to #5 \u201cblame and judge\u201d.<\/p>\n But the one that I was very glad to finally observe is that when I pleased some people, all it engendered was their asking for more, better or different.<\/p>\n Someone mentioned to me about \u201csetting boundaries\u201d, and I found that a very good idea to work with.\u00a0 So, I began to look at what I wanted to \u201cdo\u201d as opposed to what I thought I \u201chad to do\u201d for others.\u00a0 If I felt overwhelmed, I began to remember to decline graciously.<\/p>\n There is another idea that knowing my weaknesses could be my greatest strength, and I learned that when I overextend myself, I drop into a state of \u201cheld resentment\u201d.\u00a0 I now see that \u201cholding accounts\u201d makes for a tenuous relationship which, to me, has no value for either of us in the relationship.<\/p>\n See states of consciousness.<\/a><\/p>\n Recently when I was asked to play a job, I accepted.\u00a0 When the music arrived, I discovered that there was too much, and two of them were too difficult to accomplish within the time limit and my limited sight.\u00a0 I got that dreaded emotional turmoil in my belly and decided that I must do something about it.<\/p>\n I wrote an email explaining that I understand that it is impossible for a sighted person to relate to the challenges of a partially-sighted person reading complicated pieces of music.\u00a0 Thankfully, with the communication, it was changed to only one difficult piece and 6 hymns that were pretty easily executed.\u00a0 I felt I \u201ccould do\u201d that\u201d and also have a small enough challenge that would make life interesting.<\/p>\n The challenge of the overall picture was to see \u201cwhat I could or could not do\u201d, \u201cwhat she would do without\u201d and \u201cwhat was possible for the job\u201d\u2014in other words I was able to see \u201cWhat was going on\u201d and changing the \u201cform\u201d for a more positive \u201cresult\u201d for all involved.<\/p>\n See the four forces.<\/a><\/p>\n This experience turned out far better than if I had succumbed to reaction by \u201cblowing off steam\u201d \u201cquitting\u201d or \u201cholding resentment\u201d which thereby\u00a0 creates imbalance in the body that must be adapted to.<\/p>\n This experience and the observation thereof has helped to tie in many of the illustrations of the teachings and shown me how beautifully they can aid me in seeing \u201cwhat\u2019s Going On\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I asked a fellow student of the teachings about somebody who I saw as \u201codd\u201d in their behavior or ability, he said, \u201cAw, they just showed up that way.\u201d\u00a0 It seems that I \u201cshowed up\u201d with an obsession to … Continue reading