{"id":295,"date":"2020-10-13T08:09:43","date_gmt":"2020-10-13T12:09:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/?p=295"},"modified":"2020-10-13T08:09:43","modified_gmt":"2020-10-13T12:09:43","slug":"catatonic-stuck-in-indecision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/?p=295","title":{"rendered":"Catatonic \u2013 Stuck in Indecision?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

From\nworkshop \/ Malibu 6\/69<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[From Marsha:\u00a0 Have you ever been unable to make up your mind — felt catatonic? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Here\u2019s a definition from the dictionary.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. characterized by a marked lack of movement, activity, or expression.<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have noticed at times when I\u2019m unable to decide what to do that I\u2019m in a catatonic state about a certain situation. I experience inner thoughts that say \u201cdo this or say this\u201d; and then immediately there\u2019s the diametrically opposed thoughts saying \u201cNo — do this or say this!\u201d\u00a0 I unconsciously base it on \u201cdoing the right thing\u201d or want to express pure reaction that is often detrimental to and about the other person and not to my advantage. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So Dr. Bob gave a description of \u201cwhat\u2019s going on\u201d \u00a0when this happens. So we begin with a question from the audience.]<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(What happens when we have two \u201cauthority figures\u201d giving directions on what to say or do; and they don\u2019t agree?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[For \u201cBelieve and do what my authorities say\u201d is #4 in the picture of man which is illustrated on the website.]<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then it\u2019s in conflict within itself; and if they are of equal strength — you can then have a catatonic — one who can\u2019t move in either direction \u2014 they just sit.\u00a0 You would like to get up and hit them because one authority figure said, \u201cKnock \u2018em down.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 And the other one said, \u201cLove \u2018em.\u201d\u00a0 The poor person is so tied up — he wants to knock \u2018em down; but the other side says, \u201cYou must not because you got to love \u2018em.\u201d\u00a0 So one sits there in tears.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the things we find in very sensitive people is that they are taught, \u201cYou ought to love your enemies.\u201d\u00a0 And so they see him as their enemy — and they\u2019re trying to love him too?\u00a0 Now they believe him to be their enemy, but they\u2019re trying to love?\u00a0 This is an excellent way to produce a \u201ccatatonic\u201d.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(You love and hate at the same time?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What we are really saying is not to love your enemy, but to understand the enemy; and then he\u2019s no longer your enemy — you see him as human being.\u00a0 But you don\u2019t look to understand him — understand that he\u2019s conditioned and is unable to do anything other than what he\u2019s doing.\u00a0 In other words he\u2019s doing what he sees is right, proper or justifiable.\u00a0 It\u2019s the only light he has.\u00a0 It is all you can operate by also.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you continue to \u201cbelieve and do\u201d what you have taken on from some authority — to \u201clove\u201d them which is included in what we call *sentimental feelings\u201d.\u00a0 In other words, you\u2019re thinking of this joker as someone you feel is going to stick a knife in your back if you get close enough to him — and so you truly think of him as an enemy.\u00a0 You hate him for all he\u2019s done to you, but you\u2019re going to love him if it kills you — and I\u2019ll tell you this — it jolly-well will. \u00a0I have been around people who are paralyzed with hatred for a neighbor or someone they are blaming.\u00a0 \u00a0This puts more people in hospitals than anything I know of — mental hospitals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[From Marsha: I have discovered that at times I have found myself catatonic and was not conscious of it. Perhaps the first sign is I\u2019m angry, frustrated or fearful of someone. The thinking mind won\u2019t let go of it because a decision can\u2019t be made of how I want to handle myself when I\u2019m next involved with this person . The idea from this excerpt gives me a place to look.\u00a0 If I discover which \u201cauthorities\u201d I have accepted in the past, it gives me more understanding of what\u2019s going on within me.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I even had a living example this week. I have company every Thursday. It started out as a fun, laughing, sharing thing; and we cooked dinner together. As time went on, it comes out that the person has many ideals in eating whether real or imagined, I can\u2019t say — can\u2019t have too much fat, can\u2019t have fish because it\u2019s too strong, can\u2019t have brussel sprouts or cabbage because they\u2019re gassy, \u00a0can\u2019t have this, can\u2019t have that and it has to be prepared in a certain way ie only romaine lettuce with no spine in the salad, only feta cheese, only certain spices that are the best.\u00a0 I reached a place of intolerance and couldn\u2019t decide how to handle being a gracious hostess.\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I asked myself \u2013 what are the \u201cauthorities\u201d fighting wit<\/em>hin.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One is from childhood \u2013 \u201cYou will eat what I fix or not have anything at all \u2013 just go to bed hungry.\u201d \u2013 an old parenting strategy \u2013 A side became an accepted unconscious authority for handling finicky eaters.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another one is \u2013 \u201cIf you come to \u201cmy\u201d house and I cook, then eat it or bring your own\u201d.\u00a0 Truly an A-side comment. Seems I made up my own \u201cauthority\u201d from the anger I felt or maybe I unconsciously took it on from a friend\u2019s comment.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other one sneaked in from the \u201cpleaser\u201d [see picture of man] \u201cI should be understanding of and considerate of them and find out what they want and how they want it cooked; and do it that way.\u00a0 So it is catatonic. It comes to \u201cWhat can I do?\u201d and at this moment I still have no answers. And of course, I can\u2019t begin to know what I will feel, say or do this coming Thursday. I want to see it as not important \u2013 hum, easier said than done.\u00a0 Dr. Bob talked about using simple good manners; so perhaps I\u2019ll see if I can play the role of a gracious hostess despite the chatter in the mind.]<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From workshop \/ Malibu 6\/69 [From Marsha:\u00a0 Have you ever been unable to make up your mind — felt catatonic? \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Here\u2019s a definition from the dictionary. 2. characterized by a marked lack of movement, activity, or expression. I have … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=295"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":296,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions\/296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marshasummers.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}