[From Marsha\u2026.Often I find myself in conversations which may begin companionable and then some difference of opinion or conclusion arises and the conflict begins.\u00a0\u00a0 I can easily get caught in trying to convince someone that I\u2019m \u201cright\u201d and at the end of the conversation, I haven\u2019t convinced him and he hasn\u2019t convinced me.\u00a0\u00a0 The thinking in each of us doesn\u2019t change one iota, so what\u2019s the point of tearing myself up in the effort. \u00a0A change in topic can make for a more congenial time together.]<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s an exercise from a workshop that certainly is challenging, but certainly can make for more harmonious relationships both within and without.[ Here we go:<\/p>\n
Do you see what it means to awaken \u2013 to wake up. It means to go into another state of being which is not subjective \u2013 to be purely objective is to be fully awake. To be subjective is just a little more awake than being in a \u201cdream sleep\u201d — most of us have a lot of those \u2013 day dreams, night dreams etc.<\/p>\n
Now where would you like to go on that? You wanna stay in the dreams and dream all these beautiful dreams about all the rewards you\u2019re gonna get for being good, and all these horrible punishments the people you don\u2019t like\u2019s gonna get for being bad? Or do you wanna wake up?<\/p>\n
(Wake up.)<\/p>\n
Good.\u00a0\u00a0 And if you do, then you see all these thoughts and ideals and dreams as what? \u2013 fantasies, and you refuse to get involved with them, you just see them without trying to change them, without judging them or without struggling with them in any way. And they go away. It\u2019s like standing on the bank of a flowing river and an old inner tube comes floating on down. Do you think \u201cOh that would sure ruin the appearance of the river — I\u2019ve gotta fix that\u201d and so you wade out there in the water because you just know it\u2019s the \u201cright thing to do\u201d and get yourself tangled in the mud and maybe be pulled into the undertoe and get drowned, or do you just \u201clet it go.\u201d \u2013 \u201clet it float on by.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you can let it go, it just floats on down the river, is that right? And isn\u2019t this just about the way thoughts and ideas and ideals come through the head? They\u2019ll go on down the \u201ctransient stream of the mind\u201d if we\u2019ll just let \u2018em alone.\u00a0\u00a0 But instead when something comes, we grab it or we blame it and say it grabbed us, huh?\u00a0\u00a0 So did the old inner tube only come to pass?\u00a0\u00a0 Have you ever noticed that thoughts just float on by and then you don\u2019t get caught fighting with them. They goes on by. Thank goodness, huh?<\/p>\n
And isn\u2019t this the way of everything. Somebody comes in and is all mad and pushed out of shape; and if you just don\u2019t pay any attention to them, what happens to their anger in just a few minutes? It just flows on. It just went on down the river, right? But if you start defending or trying to \u201cfix\u201d, what happens then?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Thoughts are like a river and it just flows. Each person is full of all these conditionings \u2013 the thoughts, the ought to be\u2019s, the opinions and conclusions. \u00a0it\u2019s just a river, so what difference does it make what comes by \u2013 it flows on in a few minutes if you don\u2019t try to reason with it.\u00a0\u00a0 So when you\u2019re seeing that it is just things flowing by, are you a little more awake than you are when you jump out there and grab on to that old rubber tire, or some thought you don\u2019t like? You see what to do \u2013 just let it go by, okay? Direct your attention somewhere else \u2013 perhaps something that uses the mind in a creative way.<\/p>\n
(Most of that river is sewage.)<\/p>\n
Well it\u2019s got sewage in it, yeah, but you don\u2019t have to hop in it, do you?\u00a0\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to get in it.<\/p>\n
I read a story one time about a man who lived on the bank of a river and he got kind of short of funds.\u00a0\u00a0 So he decided he would appeal to higher powers and he prayed for food. So everyday he saw a big block of something come down the river; and he went out and got it \u2013 to him it was a delicacy \u2013 maybe a pastry or a candy-type thing. The next day at the same time, more came down. So he\u2019d eat that; and the next day more would come again. This went on for many months — being graciously provided for by these foods. And of course, he felt that he had greatly advanced into the states of the powers of the invisible world.<\/p>\n
But one day he decided he\u2019d see how they produced it. So he travelled up the river. First day all that happened is he found the food earlier in the day because he was further up the river. The next day he got even still farther \u2013 the river got smaller, but here come the food which would have been down the river at the same time. The third day, he discovered there was a castle built on a little island in the river; and he found that this food was clunkin\u2019 out the side of the castle.<\/p>\n
So he went into the castle to see what was going on; and he found that the lady threw away her bath soap every day when she finished taking her bath.\u00a0\u00a0 He had felt this was great stuff, you know.\u00a0\u00a0 So it all depends on how you see it. What was trash to her was manna to him.<\/p>\n
So it seems that you can look at trash and be deluded into thinking that it\u2019s manna; however, we can wake up and see that we\u2019re ingesting a lot of trash from our thoughts. Being awake is to be objective about all the thoughts and suggestions that come to us from within and without, huh?\u00a0\u00a0 When we are subjective, what is our inner state of being at that point?<\/p>\n
I think it\u2019s to my advantage to let the sewage go on down the river.\u00a0\u00a0 Some of it we put fancy names on like \u201cI have a right\u201d or \u201cit oughta be like this\u201d or \u201cshe ought to know better\u201d \u2013 like the man\u2019s manna from heaven was really somebody else\u2019s sewage, wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
So if a thought comes by, is it necessarily to latch onto it? Maybe we could see it as neither \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad\u201d — why even define it. Maybe we can see the fantasy.<\/p>\n
(Dr. Bob, I can\u2019t imagine anybody eating soap and seeing it as manna. What does the soap represent. )<\/p>\n
You have made or created many ideals of what ought to be, is that right?<\/p>\n
(Yes.)<\/p>\n
(Well Dr. Bob \u2013 nevertheless if he was partaking of this food \u2013 well he considered it food \u2013 will that keep him alive?)<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t keep him alive, he kept himself alive with soap.<\/p>\n
(Soap rather. He didn\u2019t think it was soap, he thought it was real food.)<\/p>\n
Oh yeah, and after he found out where it came from he couldn\u2019t eat it anymore \u2013 and that can be applied to the not I\u2019s that float into the thoughts through association.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve read in many esoteric literatures where it says judge not lest all sorts of havoc come upon you, is that right?<\/p>\n
(Well the not I\u2019s judge so fast; and they\u2019re so strong ..)<\/p>\n
Yeah, while you\u2019re asleep \u2013 sure \u2013 you judge; but if you were awake you wouldn\u2019t. Now you have a reason for waking up? You see the minute I see a reason for waking up, I do. If I\u2019m going to work at 6:00 in the morning, I see a reason of waking up just before 6 am. If I\u2019m not gonna work until 9, I don\u2019t see any use of waking up at 6 am, huh?<\/p>\n
(I have a lot of reasons for waking up, I know that.<\/p>\n
And one of them would be that you\u2019re subject to many thoughts and suggestions, is that right? That you obviously would not be subject to if you were awake. You wanna be a subject to all that turmoil or do you want to be awake?<\/p>\n
(I wanna be awake.)<\/p>\n
Okay. Then if you\u2019re purely objective nothing has dominion over you. Do you give things the authority to annoy you?<\/p>\n
(Yes I do.)<\/p>\n
And is it pleasant to you or aid you or is it just a bad dream you\u2019re having \u2013 a dream you don\u2019t like. The remedy is to wake up. You wanna wake up?<\/p>\n
[from Marsha:\u00a0\u00a0 In working with this idea, I discovered that I think I know what the motivation is for someone\u2019s behavior near to me; but when I asked, the motivation was completely different and I was completely wrong.\u00a0\u00a0 It certainly changed my attitude when I found the motivation they were using.\u00a0\u00a0 And Dr. Bob has often said, we don\u2019t even know all the motivations we have for what we say and do moment to moment. In this case we can possibly remember to let those thoughts float on by and put them in the \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d department.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s certainly more objective than thinking they meant something derogatory. Just another little exercise to wake up to what\u2019s going on.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[From Marsha\u2026.Often I find myself in conversations which may begin companionable and then some difference of opinion or conclusion arises and the conflict begins.\u00a0\u00a0 I can easily get caught in trying to convince someone that I\u2019m \u201cright\u201d and at the … Continue reading