[from Marsha\u00a0\u00a0 How often do we have a conversation with somebody that results in a difference of opinion. Each side tries to convince the other and neither listens \u2013 the discussion can become intense.\u00a0\u00a0 Each tries to persuade the other of their opinion, conclusions, selected authority, and beliefs. Neither is open; and then here comes the defense, the arguments and hurt feelings.<\/p>\n
There are certain things we like and certain things we don\u2019t like. So we all have something called \u201cpersonal taste\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 If we\u2019re aware of it, we can allow others to have their tastes, their opinions, their conclusions and just allow it to be. There\u2019s just whatever\u2019s going on and you may not like it; but it is called \u201can event.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now sometimes we can liken the \u201cevent\u201d to a tiger.\u00a0\u00a0 So let\u2019s say If a tiger came into the room where you were; and you let him alone, chances are very great he\u2019ll turn around and walk out in a little while.<\/p>\n
But now if you don\u2019t like tigers in your house: and you grab it by the tail and try to get it out, I got news for you. You\u2019re gonna be involved with that tiger for quite some time because he will be annoyed by being grabbed by the tail; and he will start clawing and chewing \u2013 so you daren\u2019t let go. \u00a0You\u2019ll get clawed and you\u2019ll never be able to turn him loose. And so this is like \u201can event\u201d \u2013 and we have \u201cevents\u201d every day.<\/p>\n
So somebody comes to your house and says, \u201cYou just don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about \u2013 \u201cI know what\u2019s right and wrong; and you should agree with me or you are misinformed or simply stupid!\u201d \u2013 \u201cYou should see it my way because I have checked the internet and I know!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Instantly, you react inside and don\u2019t like that one bit!\u00a0\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t fit how you see it \u2014 so maybe you \u201ctry to keep your mouth shut\u201d; but they continue on; and finally you express your opposite opinion and the argument escalates.<\/p>\n
And so you could say that you \u201cgrabbed that \u201cevent\u201d by the tail\u201d and are hanging onto it. It goes over and over in your head. Sometimes we fight with that same little old tiger for a sleepless night or two which can carry on for maybe months and sometimes even years!<\/p>\n
This \u201cevent\u201d can be with marriage, children, business, neighbors and sometimes there can never be resolution. We are hanging on to our opinions, beliefs and conclusions and the contention and conflict is like \u201cgrabbing the tiger by the tail.\u201d We don\u2019t or can\u2019t let go.<\/p>\n
But if you just let an \u201cevent alone\u201d, how long does it last?\u00a0\u00a0 It walks out the door in just a little while.\u00a0\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to change it. Granted there are some events which require more consideration; but how many of these little events do we allow that keep us awake night after night, month after month, year after year. Who\u2019s hanging on to the tail — you?\u00a0\u00a0 Is the other person hanging on to the tail?\u00a0\u00a0 Do you have to hang onto the tail?<\/p>\n
The creator created a great universe, we\u2019re told and I read that he did it by this one thing \u2013 he let it be. He didn\u2019t \u201cmake\u201d anything. He just let it be. Did it say he created light or did it say \u201clet there be light.\u201d<\/p>\n
Let the earth bring forth all these things. In other words just don\u2019t interfere; and it\u2019ll take care of itself real well — it\u2019ll all work pretty good. What a wonderful experiment for each of us. Only thing is to remember that you didn\u2019t interfere and you watched how it was resolved without your control and perceived wisdom of what should be.<\/p>\n
So when you \u201cgrab it by the tail\u201d, so to speak, it\u2019s more like your inner state and well being that\u2019s being clawed up, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0\u00a0 So you can ignore it a little bit.\u00a0\u00a0 Why not? Why should you do anything about it — because it disturbs you? But it won\u2019t last indefinitely. As long as you\u2019re not trying to change someone or something in any manner, form, or fashion, then you can do what you want to do and \u201cleave the event alone\u201d.<\/p>\n
Now let\u2019s get to reality. Let\u2019s stick to our interpersonal relationships. Now we can carry this over into all other events, but let\u2019s stick to where the problems might be.<\/p>\n
Parable of the Captain and storm<\/strong><\/p>\n If a storm blows at sea, the captain, of course , is gonna do whatever he can to take his ship out of it, but he doesn\u2019t stand and scream at the storm.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re ridin\u2019 in an airplane and it starts getting very bumpy, the pilot will do whatever he can to get out of the bumpy air, but he doesn\u2019t stand there and holler at the bumpy air. He really doesn\u2019t fuss at it a bit. He takes a detour and flies higher or lower and that\u2019s about all he does about it.<\/p>\n But if you have an interpersonal relationship and there\u2019s a little bumpy air, you don\u2019t just go take a walk \u2013 you\u2019re gonna stand there and straighten it out. Right?\u00a0\u00a0 In that way you can have bumpy air for years. You see, when you \u201cgrab that tiger by the tail\u201d, you take the tiger with you no matter where you go or what you do. \u00a0So you want to straighten out this \u201cevent\u201d\u2019 and you still got the \u201cevent\u201d in here, and all the time you\u2019re thinkin\u2019 of right things to say to that tiger to convince; but all it does is keep the fight going on.<\/p>\n So when you can see the bumpy air, and get out of the storm, you pilot your ship away from the sea of contention; and that\u2019s the way \u201cit can be\u201d without making any big production. All your interested in is survival.<\/p>\n The real idea is if your interest was in survival and evolvement, wouldn\u2019t your behavior be decidedly different than if you\u2019re interested in having everything your way, keepin\u2019 all your opinions in order \u2013 makin\u2019 everbody else toe the line to fit your opinions. If you allowed them to have theirs and you just kept yours to yourself, would the \u201cevents\u201d be altogether different? \u00a0If you pilot away from the bumpy air, could that be called an act of survival?\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to change them no matter how hard you try, so why get all involved.<\/p>\n Man got himself so educated that he is conditioned to survive by having his way. It rarely happens that way; in fact it\u2019s absolutely unsure. But if you\u2019re awake and aware, you can respond adequately to the event as it arises. Defending yourself and trying to convince doesn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n So here\u2019s some alternatives:<\/p>\n Sometimes you just let the other person have their opinions, beliefs, and conclusions; and if they\u2019re too heated, maybe you take a walk or go to the bathroom and the subject can change itself when you come back.<\/p>\n And sometimes it\u2019s been said that you can just agree with them and say \u201cThanks for reminding me\u201d or just coo \u2013 what a wonderful experiment and practice that can be. Your body will thank you.<\/p>\n So when you observe that you\u2019ve grabbed the \u201ctiger by the tail\u201d and you can\u2019t seem to change it, what ideas can you come up with to let go of the \u201cevent\u201d you don\u2019t like?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [from Marsha\u00a0\u00a0 How often do we have a conversation with somebody that results in a difference of opinion. Each side tries to convince the other and neither listens \u2013 the discussion can become intense.\u00a0\u00a0 Each tries to persuade the other … Continue reading