Workshop - Santa Ana 4/3/1977 - Page 1 of 4
Since this Workshop transcription (even in this edited form where I have included relevant materials) still came out to over 50,000 words, it is included here in four continuing parts for the facility of loading these pages. There is no particulat relevance or topic to each page as it just continues from one page to the next via the links at the end. As always I have edited minimally in some instances for clarification. Much appreciation goes to Tian who has joined me in the transcription and proofreading of some of the vintage teaching tapes from Dr. Bob - Marsha
We will start to work, ok? Many of you have been to discussions we’ve carried on before and some of you have not. So, for the benefit of those who have not, we will not be working at trying to improve ourselves. I like everybody just like they are. If you misuse it, it may not be the most pleasant thing you ever did because some people will try to use it to improve themselves, and that turns into a disaster. Our whole purpose is to understand the human being and how they are put together and how they work so that we may use it in any way that we see fit and nobody can choose your values for you except you.
Now we will talk some about value today; but I’m not putting out any that says this is the right one or the other one—it merely says that you’re a valuing creature and can choose your own value. And I would like you just as well if you choose one value as another because there is no right or wrong values that I’ve ever heard of.
So this is not an improvement bit; and it is not trying to make you over, but sometimes it does produce a change in a person’s lifestyle. Now some people don’t tolerate sudden changes in lifestyles well, so if you’re one of those, don’t try to change it very suddenly—let it do it by degrees. You know they don’t raise taxes from nothing to 50 per cent overnight; they do it by a percent a year and that way you hardly notice it. But you can have a sudden change in lifestyle and get along very well.
So the first thing that we will talk about today is how a human being is designed. After all we are somewhat “designed” and so our first study will be as to how a human being is designed—just any one you want to find. So first off we will start with a little diagram that represents a human being. Now the human being has various aspects. He is a unit but has aspects. An aspect means that with our limited ability to look—we have to look at one thing at a time and that we can’t look at everything at once -- so we study from an aspect.
The first aspect we’ll look at is the Physical Body. We are most familiar with those. We can see them all about us and experience the one we live with all the time. Now the physical body of itself, as some of you have probably seen when it’s not activated with something, is merely an inert piece of material lying around somewhere.
The next thing that we will see is that there is an Awareness Function. Now we don’t use the word ‘mind’ because it’s been so confused by so many people using it in so many different ways; we will not talk about a mind. So say there is an Awareness—you’re aware of the temperature. You’re aware of each other. You’re aware of your inner feelings. You’re aware of the environment; and then of course you’re aware of how you value it sometimes—all these different things. What value you assign. And you are the only one that can make a value.
Now the next aspect that we put here, we draw a letter X. I was told in algebra that X represented something that was known to exist, but you didn’t know exactly what it was yet. So there is something called Life, whatever that may be, and I never found anybody who could define it. But we can certainly tell when it is present and when it’s not. You know dead bodies are not alive—you don’t have to be too technically trained to achieve that.
So whatever Life is, we will refer to it by the letter X. Now obviously it is not a material something, but it is one of the more real things in the world. Now everyone, of course, has some Function whatever it may be—it may be sleeping, it may be eating, walking, working, or whatever but there is always a function in a living being.
Now the living being exists in an Environment that each of us feels to be the center of—everything is out from me; and from that environment there are Impressions that we’re aware of. When there is an impression to Awareness, then there is some feeling about that Impression. So there is a feeling and that feeling goes to X, and X always does the appropriate action in the physical body to carry out the function that one feels is appropriate for whatever that stimuli, that impression, is one receives from the environment. Now whatever value and etc. is put on here - that determines the feeling. If we were simply practically here and something happens, then we would see how we would respond to it, right? —according to our particular values. So if a new Rolls Royce drives by and somebody was interested in one, you’d probably put considerable value on it. And somebody else might put no value on it—or see it at all. I have been with people that suddenly got very agitated about traffic on the street as to how noisy it was, when somebody else in the same area hadn’t even noticed there was traffic out there—they were interested in something else. So this comes to the value. So all the Awareness does is sense and value. It is aware of things and its function is to assign value.
Now, we could put that in a cycle. We could say there was a projection of something in the environment, and if there was no conditioning there would then be a true feeling about it. Now, it would not be the same for every one of us. It would probably be different for each of us, but that would be all right too. And then there would be immediately that X would carry out and raise the chemical balance and neuro-muscular tone which would be the appropriate thing to do for the feeling one has; and then there would be a creative act for the individual. Whatever that act may be would be creative of that particular person.
Now, as we observe human beings much we see something has happened that has considerably changed this design and formula here, which is a complete arrangement and would result in the person having a considerable different existence than most have experienced today. There wouldn’t be any conflict. There wouldn’t be any struggles. If something showed up, one performs it and that was it—you didn’t wonder, “I should have done something else.” Did you ever do something and then wonder, “I wish I had done something other arrangement?” Did you ever do that?
When you looked back at it. And of course, that puts us in a state of conflict; and before we do anything, when there is something that’s happened, we want to do the right thing. And of course, that can sometimes get a person in considerable turmoil.
So we will next take this same structure of man and see what the function in the usual every-day direction is. How it happens that things are somewhat different than the free-wheeling existence that we were designed to function with. Now we’re not saying that one should change something all of a sudden. We want to merely see where it is, ok? If it changes, it’s spontaneous not because it should be or ought to be. We have no “should’s” or “ought to’s”. Now, we’ll draw this same diagram. We’ll put the Physical Body in it. We’ll put the Awareness here with it’s function and we’ll put X here and the function out here. We’ll also draw our cycle to see how it works.
Now in the process of being born—suddenly there is one of those changes in lifestyle. Floating around in the uterus before birth is a rather ideal state to most of us. The phone doesn’t ring—if it does, it’s very muffled and we don’t hear it very well. Nobody is frettin’ at us moving over. Nobody is complaining to us. We’re never hungry. We’re never thirsty. We’re never too hot. We’re never too cold; and there really isn’t anything to do and nobody to have to put up with. So that’s a pretty good state.
But birth is a very sudden change in lifestyle and that sudden change was that we began to have tremendous experiences from the environment—a bombardment of impulses coming to the Awareness. And those bombardments, being unusual, we call pain or discomfort. So, suddenly the complete supply of oxygen was cut off and there was a suffocation experienced for a little bit. There is tremendous pressure. There is the indignity after you’re born of somebody sticking their finger down your throat and feeling around and somebody else checking you over like you’re a piece of merchandise. Somebody pouring a little silver nitrate in your eyes which burns a little bit. And a number of other things. And besides that, suddenly there is a need to do something and one is helpless. So one begins to feel that the whole purpose of living—the whole purpose—now we said “feel” not “think”, or anything else—the whole purpose of living is to regain the non-disturbed state.
Now, when we attempt to regain the non-disturbed state in the earth plane of existence we obviously fail because there are continual challenges arising on every side—every day, right—all day long? So you’re never going to be non-challenged or non-disturbed, that right? And so then one begins to feel one is a victim. Now that’s when we really get this thing going feeling I’m a victim. I’m a victim of circumstances. I’m a victim of parents. I’m a victim of everything around -- a victim of the temperature, a victim of the energy shortage. I’m a victim of government. I’m a victim of about everything—most especially I’m a victim of the past and I’m a victim of you. You made me mad; and therefore I’m a victim and you are in charge. You’re the victimizer and I’m the victim. And this is the world we have been wound up that we’re all a victim. Now we’re victims of the past—“I had an unhappy childhood.”
I used to work with people that told me stories of their life and they always started their problem off: “Well, of course, I had a very unhappy childhood.” I said, “Well, join the human race, so did the rest of us.” Childhood is durned unhappy time because we’re simply being frustrated. So everybody’s got themselves a continual role going that “I am a victim”.
So it starts off with trying to regain the non-disturbed state which means to gain constant, complete pleasure and comfort. And really I don’t have to gain it. I’m really entitled to it—have you noticed that? I’m really entitled to it. And I’ve got to escape all pain and discomfort.
Now pain, of course, is any sensation I don’t like. There is no set of sensations we could say is painful because some of us may like a sensation that another one would find painful, right? So if I like Tabasco sauce on my eggs and you don’t, then you would have pain from using Tabasco and I’m doing fine—I’m having pleasure. So it’s the same sensation, probably, I don’t know. So the only thing you could say about pleasure and pain is that pleasure is a sensation I like, and pain is a sensation I don’t like—is that about right? So we want to gain pleasure and escape pain, and feel entitled to have it that way—and, of course, when we don’t have it, I begin to sense that I’m a victim.
Now, if we would care to look at that, most of us would see that we play a role of being a victim; and you have it reinforced by various articles you read that there are certain people that are victims of arthritis, another one is a victim of poverty, another one is victim of ten thousand other things, right? Some people are victims of all sorts of things that comes along; and then there’s gobs of things we don’t think about but we act out being a victim. “I was made unhappy by that girl I took out and she was supposed to have made me happy, but she didn’t and therefore I’m a victim”. I’m a victim of about anything you want to mention, is that right? I’m a victim of circumstances on top of that. So the little guy, each of us, determined that the first way to gain this non-disturbed state was to complain. Now the baby complains in about the only way possible—it cries. (But each of us are maintaining that one for an emergency situation.) We have learned a few thousand other very sophisticated ways of complaining. So basically when we feel we’re a victim -- we’re not non-disturbed -- we’re disturbed, what’s the first thing we do? Complain morning, noon and night. You complain a little bit once in a while?
Does it ever really fix things up or does it just let you be convinced you’re a victim.
It never really straightened things around like you want it; but nevertheless that’s one of the first ones. And when we complain and nobody pays us any attention, but what we want from it is some attention when we complain, right? And when nobody pays any attention to my complaining—I’m ignored or rejected - do you know what you call that feeling when you get rejected? Did you ever complain, Jess? So do you know what you call it when you’ve been rejected? You call it “love” is the word somebody said. Now you know that is what is generally called “undying love”. Somebody has been rejected. I get frequent calls from various places around the United States that somebody tells me they’re desperately in love. I say, “Who rejected you?” (Laughter) You’ve heard about the word love and it’s supposed to be some kind of a feeling, I think; possibly it means an understanding of some sort, but most people generate it as a feeling. And when they’ve been rejected by someone, they have a terrible feeling and that must be love. If it wasn’t for that, we’d run out of songs in a very short order. Did you ever get rejected, Michael? What’d you call it? Michael has told me a number of times about his desperate love when he was rejected. So that, of course, is the work to gain attention and approval.
Now, the next way that we discover when we’re growing up from total infancy to a little bigger is that we “stick up for our rights”. Now I must be a victim or I wouldn’t have any rights and so I’m trying to get these rights and we’re usually doing that by getting a little belligerent. Did you ever get a little angry or belligerent by sticking up for your rights? And of course we think that’s the way to get it. Does everybody get with it and give them to you right away? It didn’t work either so you’re more frustrated, more of a victim and really caught up in our little bit then that we’re really a victim because everybody’s put the thing on me, huh? And even with all my complaining and sticking up for rights and they still didn’t treat me right—they still went on and treated me wrong—they victimized me.
Now, it is interesting to see what our rights are. We were born into this world helpless, toothless and basically totally incapable of taking care of ourselves at all, right? And we found a world well equipped: there were all kinds of fruit trees, and farms and ranches, and everything to provide you with every conceivable necessity—all kinds of highways built—all kinds of transportation—everything was here when you got here, is that right? And as far as most of us were concerned, as far as our parents were concerned—they found out we were on the way and really weren’t totally invited, is that about right?
Was the last one invited or did you find out it was on the way?
(I wasn’t too happy.)
You kind of found out they were on the way. And so when they arrive one fine day, we suddenly had the rights here. So it looks like I’m somewhat of an intruder and was given tremendous privileges, right? How about that, Jane? I have no rights here, but I have tremendous privileges and I don’t stick up for privileges because that, I found, is the best way to lose a privilege - start mistaking it for a right and sticking up for it—did you ever try that, James? How did it work? You lost the privilege, didn’t you?
So if I should see some day that I have no rights but I have a tremendous amount of privileges and that by my own efforts I can maintain those privileges, enhance them and get some more… and if there’s anything I like, it’s privileges. But I’m not entitled to a one of them—a privilege is not something I’m entitled to, right?
Now about this time after a goodly amount of our complaining and sticking up for rights, the people who looked after us decided they’d better change it because they wanted to have their non-disturbance and they wanted their rights and that was for me to behave differently, huh? So they set up a little pressure and forced me to come to the conclusion that the way to be non-disturbed was to please them. Did you ever have that feeling that someone should be pleased or is a danger to you—you remember that—but you still want to have your way?
Yes. So that brings about a little split as to how to gain this purpose that the infant set up as the purpose of living. Now, then we have a conflict—we have the agony of decision every time something comes up. That begins when you begin to say, “I” in your life, and “I” have to decide whether to complain and stick up for my rights or be a pleaser. Now if this one should get the nod and you do your complaining, the pleaser will come up in a few minutes and make you feel guilty. Did you ever have guilt feelings? That was when you gave the complainer the nod and the pleaser waited a few minutes until you did the complaining, so then you felt guilty and it made you feel very miserable. So the next time you reversed it so you wouldn’t feel guilty so you come out a pleaser, but that didn’t settle the situation because these came up a few minutes later and said, “We don’t ever get to do anything we want to do, we just have to do what they want us to do.” In other words, I’m really a victim. And that is called self-pity.
Now understand, I never have self-pity myself, other people have that. I have “attacks of depression”. I’m depressed—that means you’re feeling real sorry for yourself, right? Did you ever have that? Which one do you have - depression or self-pity?
Yes, because you can get a pill for that. For self pity, there’s no pill; but for depression there’s prescriptions that will elevate the mood. Nobody goes down and tells the doctor, “Look, I’m having a good attack of self pity -- why not give me a pill.” So obviously you don’t get anything for that.
Then we’re in that quandary and now this is constant conflict going on which then has altered this situation very decidedly. Now there is a perception and then there is a false feeling of emergency because now you feel you’re in danger. Now you feel you’ve got to make a decision as to which way you’re going to go. Shall I please them and wind up feeling sorry for myself later or will I get angry and feel guilty a little later? There’s not much value in either one of them. So then every time a little choice comes up, one feels a false sense of emergency and in danger. Did you ever have that agony of a decision that you work for days and weeks deciding what you’re going to do?
Then, of course, with that indecision, X always does the appropriate thing for the feeling that it received over here, so one is in a state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension because X prepared you to fight or run - get to doing it. But you didn’t because you’re afraid to and so then you’re charged up with chemicals in the body to do a bunch of violent physical activity and nothing happens. And that’s pretty miserable and then that requires an adaptation to burn that up. You’ve got to use it up some way. So then there’s two possible ways.
Now, if you’re a real good person, you work on this one trying to please everybody and keep it all bottled in. Then comes that the body has to go through some procedure to get rid of this built up energy that was mobilized and not used, so there is unusual cellular activity. That’s just a group of cells that X uses to do something violent to get rid of this mobilized energy. Now all unusual cellular activity produces unusual sensation. The unusual sensation and pain—soreness, stiffness, whatever -- and then you know you’re sick, right? So you have a feeling you’re in danger. That gives more false feeling of emergency because it is at least cancer—could be something serious, but at least it’s a type of cancer.
I had a little old lady one day that went in to see the doctor and he told her she had cancer of the spine. She said, “Ok, I thought maybe I had something serious, I can take care of that myself.” So she went trotting off. You know, so at least we’ll have something serious here. And that puts more of this mobilized and unreleased energy—the body is in a further state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension -- and that requires more adaptation. So this increases and after a few trips around that, it gets pretty serious. The tissue cells finally have to alter or break down.
Now the other way of adapting to this mobilized and unreleased energy is the people that are more apt to work on the “A” side of complain or stick up for rights. They will have unusual behavior patterns come in. You read of some of the more drastic ones. Some guy takes an ax and kills the whole family with it—chops them up. Or he goes on a shooting binge, shooting them all. Most of us just go on some little binge like we go out and get drunk or we do some other thing—we scream and holler at somebody and have a fit. Or we’ll take off to the hills for two weeks. So just unusual behavior can burn it up—some little binge.
(What about eating binges?)
For Darlene’s special interest at the moment, most people go on eating binges and then they are a victim of obesity, and it’s totally uncontrollable—it was no doubt due to their heredity, right?
Then I got something to blame it on and if my genes had been different and my ancestors had been different, I would never have got all that stuff; but I’m a victim again, see? So I still got to play the victim role over here.
So there’s all sorts of unusual behavior and we could go through them for years, so you can pick your own. Most of us have our own pet ones. You have a pet unusual behavior you get when you get a little tangled up?
I knew one guy would walk into his office in the morning and say, “Don’t anybody say anything to me. I’m in a rough shape today.” He kind of prided on that; he was a victim that day.
So the fourth one we get in here, a new way to try to achieve this infant purpose of living, is to believe and do what we are told by our authorities. Now various ones of us were raised up with various people and they told us if we always do the right thing we’d get along just fine. They gave us various and sundry rules and regulations and we are pretty loaded down with these rules and regulations—in other words we have very little freedom in our behavior pattern because we were taught to live according to these little rules.
Now, there are certain groups of people that refer to freedom as “space”, which is quite all right because it means exactly the same thing. If you have sufficient space to move about, it means the same thing as freedom. So each of us requires a little bit of freedom and we also can give other people a little bit of freedom to be themselves. You can’t think exactly like I do and you don’t have exactly the same taste as I do, and you don’t have the same interests as I do, right? But that doesn’t mean that mine is right and yours is wrong. So we can either grant to ourselves and others a little space or a little freedom to be ourselves—but this says, “No, you’ve got to do it like the authority says” which puts one in a prison cell that’s about the size to barely stand up in—you can’t sit in it much less lay down. And so we have very little space or freedom to function in our likes and dislikes according to our taste. And we have very little because there are taboos on it—you have a taboo about certain things, is that right? Now you can get in a big conflict over it because you want to do something that there’s a taboo on, and which one do you wind up doing? You just stay in a turmoil inside, right? And then you have to do one form or other of adaptation.
So that’s a constant conflict. So then we decide that if we were just different, then I could be non-disturbed. Now this one is where we start off on all the self-improvement kicks. We begin to think positive and obviously you know what positive thinking is—it’s trying to convince yourself of something you don’t believe long enough so you hope you’ll finally believe it. If I really know that I’m a smart ass, I don’t have to go around saying, “I’m a smart ass”. I already know it and I don’t even have to say anything about it—so I don’t have to think positive about it. But if I didn’t believe it and wanted to, then I could repeat to myself all the time to make myself believe it. You never will.
Besides that, every time I ever checked up on me, I was what I was at the moment; I’m not different. Now I may be different than what I was 50 years ago—but that wasn’t me anyway. That was somebody else. That was one of my ancestors because he’s not around anymore, right? So I’ll never be any different so I might as well like me like I am.
And the sixth one, of course is when we really solved it all up and we started truly being able to blame. We could see what was to blame for about everything we ever set out. In other words, I see what the victimizer is and I’m the victim and everybody else and every thing else is the victimizer. So now I know what to blame. I can blame you for upsetting me. I can blame them for coming in late. I can blame Darlene sitting on the front row with the biggest tape recorder in the house. So I can go over and over and find something to blame about everything, right? And that proves to me that I’m a victim.
Now most people play the continual role of being a victim. Did you ever play that?
And, of course, we experience exactly as we act out our bit. Now you might say that one could only define each of us as, “I’m a human being.” Anything beyond that gets to be pretty fuzzy out there. I’m a human being—that’s factual, is it not? I’m a human and I’m “being”.
Now next question is, “What can a human being do?” A human being can act out innumerable roles. You can act out innumerable roles, but most of us have only acted out one role all of our life, the one we got cast in automatically as an infant—a victim. So I’m a victim of family. I’m a victim of the past. I’m a victim of heredity. I’m a victim of circumstances. I’m a victim of the government. I’m a victim of you because you make me mad sometimes. Now there’s sometimes I’m a victim of you made me laugh. (Laughter)
Everything I claim, “I’m a victim” of. And everything and everybody else is a victimizer. So now I got the blaming down pat and we have this cycle which instead of a Living Cycle like the first one we drew, it’s a Vicious Cycle and I’ve run into people 70 and 80 years old and they are living this every day of their life. They lived it all their life—some days it’s more intense and some days less intense. Some days it’s very intense, right? Other days it’s just moderate where you can kind of tolerate it. So you say, “How are you?” And somebody says, “Well, not too bad—could be better.” Just a little bit less victimized today.
So when we see that this is our bit, now whatever way we act all day (and after all it is an act—I think it was Shakespeare says the whole world’s a stage and I’m one of the actors up there) so whatever act I’m putting on is how I will feel. Because if you get up any one of us here, right now, and started acting very angry, shoving things around, even though you started out as a “put on”, how would you feel in five minutes?
Mad as a wet hen, right? And if you were kind of “down in the dumpies” and you got up and started acting like you were the luckiest lady in the world, how would you feel in a few minutes?
You get up of a morning and, “Oh my God, there’s another day.” So you’re barely able to stand up. And then you start acting pretty good after a cup of coffee or two, why you feel all right. But if you stayed in bed and said, “I don’t feel like getting up”, you could probably lay in the sack all day long feeling miserable and feel terrible and horrible and all kinds of weird things. You imagine yourself as having a brain tumor and 20 other items before the day’s over, huh? You do that—nothing less than a brain tumor.
Now, this is something to kind of look at. It is not something to try to change or alter, but it’s to observe oneself playing the role of “being a victim”. Now there’s nothing wrong in that role. I think there’s many people I know should win academy awards for their performance. They are excellent as actors, and they experience every drop of it to the fullest.
Now there’s nothing wrong with it and there’s nothing right about it. It simply is. But the whole point is that inasmuch as I’m a human being and therefore capable of playing innumerable roles, it might be fun to try on another one once in a while. We’re talking about fun. It might be fun to try on a few other roles. Now you don’t have to give up the victim role forever—if you want to go back to it, you can play the victim role any minute, anywhere, anytime. There’s not a thing in the world to keep you from going back to it. So I won’t lose it just because I experimented with some other role for a little bit. You can always go back to it and try it on again.
But did you ever try playing other roles, or did you think that was the only one available?
(I thought that was the only one available.)
That was the only one available and you didn’t believe that you were playing the role—you knew it was circumstances made you that way and you weren’t playing a role of being a victim. You REALLY are a victim, huh? (Laughter.) All these people that pick on you morning, noon and night…
Now we made a remark in drawing the first drawing that X always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives. Now if you’re going to record something or make a note, put that one down: X always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives from Awareness. Now it doesn’t have to or anything of the sort, but X so loves the Awareness Function it built that it always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives from Awareness. Now if I’m telling it I’m a victim, you’d better believe it’s going to do the appropriate thing and I would experience it in the fullest—in every conceivable direction.
Now that isn’t anything to blame X for. It so loves me that it’s doing the appropriate thing for the information I gave it. Now, if I give it the information that I’m the luckiest guy in the world, just for instance—it also does the appropriate thing for that.
Now, there’s one big hindrance to making up our mind to play another role and that is, of course, that I’m responsible for writing the script, directing the part and playing the lead. And we don’t want to be responsible because then I couldn’t carry out my victim role well. See, victims are non-responsible. And for some reason or other, it seems that we are frightened of the idea of responsibility. I am responsible, I am doing this, but there is no freedom or no “space” or whatever word you want to use unless I am free. And there is no freedom unless I am responsible. I can’t expect you to make me free. Now of course, this has been kicked around that we should be free—somebody else should give it to us. But you can’t have it—you’d never feel free until we ourselves, each of us for number one, says, “I’m going to do so and so.” Of course I cancel it out by saying “but”. I have a friend who has been wanting to go into business for several years. He started out with several hundred thousand dollars and he kept wanting to go into business. I said, “Well, start it.” And he said, “but I don’t want to get tied down.” Well, that’s really making up your mind to go into business see—for about 20 seconds until I get out the “but I don’t want to be tied down.”
Now, I’ve been in a few businesses in my life and occupations and I’ve never found one I didn’t get tied down with. You got a job? You got to be tied down with it. If you haven’t got a job, you’re free to run around, but you don’t have any money, right? So the point is, do I want it?
Now, most of us make up our minds many times a day for a period of approximately 3 to 5 seconds. As long as it takes us to get out the word “but” and make something that is totally contradictive. So I would like to have a companion, but I don’t want to be possessed.
Now, I want security, but I don’t want to give up my freedom—whatever I got, huh.
You can be secure as long as you’ll commit a small crime and get yourself committed to federal prison for the rest of your life—you got security, friend. You got free medical care, free services, free everything. I was back in Washington D.C. not long ago and there was a small group that said that what they were interested in was that we would have a revolution and that we would have free food, free transportation, free housing, free medical care and free education. And I said, “Well, we’re running one of those in west Texas. We have a few at this moment of over three thousand inhabitants.” And boy they jumped up and they wanted to come. They said you mean everything? I said they have free food and the best we can get, and free housing, the best we can provide, and they have free medical services and they have free transportation and free education.
So all of them wanted to come. I said, “Well, maybe I should further elucidate—this is a cattle feed lot and as soon as we give them all this free food, free education—because each of them has to go through the right slot—go up the right ramp and we provide free medical services—the best veterinarians we can get, then we provide free transportation to the slaughter house. How many of you want to join?” Have you ever thought about it with all that free business?
So if we want to, we can look at another role that I might want to play—nobody says you can’t, but you would have to be the one responsible for making up your mind to play the role. Now doing the victim role, you don’t have to play that because you started off in that as an infant—that comes natural. And you never really thought of it as a role. It was just the way things are. “Poor unfortunate little me—caught up in all horror in the world and nothing I can do about it. Maybe somebody sometime or other will change it for me. If not, maybe death will gratefully release me.” (Laughter.) That’s about it. But do you have to do that?
Now, I like to be non-disturbed as well as the next guy, but I’ve also determined that there is maybe a little bit easier way to do it than complaining, sticking up for my rights, blaming or trying to please everybody or live by a bunch of taboos or constantly be trying to change me.
There might be other ways. I think most everybody could stumble into them—there is no right way. Is there any question, comments, points you want to make?
We looked at for a moment that many people have played the role of being a victim unknowingly most of their life. The favorite thing we do when we set out to improve things is to set up an ideal. Now we’re generally unaware of that because we say it many times a day---like what ought to be, what should be, what should have been and what ought to be in the future. You got that all figured out and you know exactly what it should be and if it was that way, wouldn’t it be wonderful—but it never has been that way.
So the ideal is expressed as what ought to be; and of course, what ought to have been if I’d had a different childhood---everything would have been fine. If society would have been put together different, everything would have been fine. But it’s not, and so I’m a victim of this malfunction of the way things ought to be.
And then, of course, there is what is. Now, “what is” is pretty bad—we don’t like that very well. (Laughter.) It’s pretty miserable stuff. If you live with it, it’s all right; but you compare it to what ought to be. If I had a little statue and I rolled it in here and said, “Now this is my ideal woman and we lined you all up and walked by it, some of you would not quite fill out in certain places on it, so you would have a lack or an omission. And then there’s others that would bulge over in certain places and they would have acts of commission—so nobody would fit it. And nobody seems to have caught onto that the ideal is pure fiction—what ought to be is pure fiction. It’s an illusion. The ideal is an illusion; but of course, we’re taught by society when we’re growing up to have high ideals. Have you ever been taught that? Reach for a star and all those things. Have you felt that way? And of course, all life has been somewhat of a disappointment, hasn’t it? Because nothing fit it. And we got to thinking that the ideal was real and that “what is” was faulty in some way or other—creation is a mess; and I ought to be the one to straighten it out.
So “what is” is simply it exists, if nothing else—that we could say. It does exist, is that right? Now what ought to be does not exist, does it? Or it wouldn’t be what ought to be, it’d be what is, wouldn’t it? So what ought to be does not exist. And if it does exist, you would have to say that it is a fact. And we’re here, the temperature is what it is, the space is what it is, you are what you are, you’re what you are, you’re what you are, you’re here—that’s it. Now, what ought to be simply is not a fact but a false impression that we’ve all gathered up somewhere along and we compare everything to it—a false impression with which I compare all reality to—a false impression that it really ought to be that way.
Now if it exists and it’s a fact, you’d have to see it’s real also, would you not? So if it’s real, then of course what ought to be is unreal. And anything that’s real we would have to say is true—it exists, it’s a fact, it’s real and it’s true. Everybody says they look for truth. I find all kinds of truth seekers. But do you know where they’re looking for it? Up here in the haystack. It’s not real and absolutely false, but that’s where everybody is looking for truth. Now, obviously they’re not going to find it up there. You’ve been a truth seeker for quite a while, haven’t you?
And where have you been looking for it? Over here, huh? And you were struggling and working hard to get there, but it’s been sitting here in front of you all the time. I think it was old Winston Churchill said everybody stumbles over truth once in a while, but they usually get up, dust themselves off and go on like nothing had happened. (Laughter.)
So anything that exists and is fact is real, is true, is Life—it’s here, it’s dynamic, alive because it’s ever changing every moment—all this is changing all the time, right? But this one over here, it doesn’t exist, it’s a false impression, unreal—just a picture in the mind. It is dead, static, nothing changes because you got the same “what ought to be” you had 20 years ago, is that right? (Laughter.) And you’ve struggled so hard to get from here up to there—it’s called the stairway to the rainbow, ok? The stairway to happiness. Now that’s all the struggle we ever have—all the conflict we ever had. It really is all the resistance we ever had.
You know we talk about second force a little bit, but really the only resistance I ever experience is because something is not like my false picture, my fallacy. My fantasy is the way it ought to be. Now you don’t have to struggle for those that exist—the facts, the real, the truth; and the things that are sitting here. You don’t have to struggle for that, do you? Not a bit. But man, how hard you struggle for this. Did you ever see the joke that it absolutely does not exist? It never will exist, and it’s a total illusion.
So some man said that the total disintegrating factor in man was the struggle toward an illusion. The only thing that makes us fall apart, degenerating and old and decrepit and falling apart at the seams, is the struggle towards an illusion. Now, the illusion is always what ought to be, what should be, what should have been and why wasn’t it that way. And if we weren’t struggling with that, there’s nothing to tear you up.
So when disintegration comes to an end—when you quit falling apart, integration or wholeness or completeness is what remains. You don’t have to hunt it up—you already got it. It’s already here. If you just quit falling apart, what’s left? “What is” is all right. You’re old, you’re in one piece and you’re all at one. But instead we stay in this constant conflict and struggle—here’s what ought to be and here’s what is and what is needs to be changed into the illusion. You can’t quite do that one. It won’t change because it’s going on to be what is every day; and what ought to be—the ideal that some of us dreamed up – doesn’t exits. And of course your ideal is probably different than mine. I don’t have one. I found out that was one piece of baggage I couldn’t afford to tote around. I like to travel light. That was one I couldn’t afford to carry.
But you see if you listen to yourself (I’m not finding fault and saying that it shouldn’t be done or any of these things) but if you listen to yourself all day, you talk, you talk, you talk. Listen to yourself and see how many times you’re hearing what should be, what ought to be, etc. coming out of your mouth. You will find that you are bogged down in an illusion and struggling towards an illusion—struggling and in constant conflict and you’re experiencing all kinds of resistance. Resistance only comes when you’re not getting ‘what ought to be’.
Now there’s no resistance to what is, is there? None whatsoever—there’s no fight, no struggle, no effort, right? Just float on and enjoy being. And it doesn’t mean that you become a beachcomber and sit out by the beach and wear rags or anything of the sort because ‘what is’ you can do quite well with every day of the week. Pick up everything you require and a whole lot of things that you just like to tote around because you’re not in a struggle.
No,w the things that tears us up is the belief that the ideal is for real and that the ‘what is’ is very faulty, shabby and that we need to work it over, huh? That make any sense to you? Have you got a bunch of ideals that you’ve been struggling after all these years? The ideal is that “you ought to be different”, is that right? I like you just like you are. Why should you be different? You wouldn’t be you then. I don’t think there ought to be three of you and none of me; and if I ought to be different, I’m liable to turn into you. (Laughter.) You’re just like you are, but one of you is enough, is that right? One’s enough, we don’t need another one. And there’s enough of him, so you and me don’t need to turn into him. I like me just like I am, how about you?
But you see most of us don’t like ourselves very well because we’re comparing ourselves to an ideal. You like yourself Susan?
(Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.)
And the times you don’t is when you’re comparing yourself to some illusionary ideal and, “Why aren’t you this picture instead of you?” But you’re a lot more fun. I never could talk to that picture you carry around. I kind of like talking to you, ok? But I can’t see the picture even—I don’t know what you’ve got dreamed up there. But when you don’t fit it, you don’t like you the real person.
You like you?
(More and more.)
More and more, and the ideal is less and less huh? Ok. But you see, I used to know Darlene when the ideal was very parallel and she was a mess according to her. I thought she was all right just like she was, but she couldn’t see it that way at all—she thought it all ought to be different. And you’re never different because whenever you wake up every day, that’s what you are that day, right?
Aren’t you all right just like you are? I like you just like you are. I don’t see that you need to change. So do you need all this ideal and everything to compare yourself to? When you’ve survived this long, what is—even carrying on this long while fighting with it—and without that load on you, you’re liable to come out just fantastic for the next few hundred years, right?
You see, the human body is beautifully designed and well made; and it can tolerate constant conflict, struggle and resistance for about 70 years. So think how long it could go if you didn’t put all this wear and tear on it.
If you got an automobile, you would probably drive it a block with no oil in the pan—might drive it a little further. But it will wear out very quickly if you don’t have oil in the pan. But we wear out very quickly with all this friction and resistance that we put on ourselves comparing what is to what ought to be. Now it puts terrific wear and tear on the human motor function—you might say what the body is basically is a motor function. It really has very little other uses—it’s a motor function—it carries out whatever the Awareness tells X to put the first value on at this moment. So it’s a motor thing—somewhat mechanical in it’s whole nature—in fact, very decidedly mechanical. And if you treat a machine fairly well, they last and last and last. And if you abuse them, they don’t last very long—that correct? So would you say there is a terrific use of the human body when everything you look at, everything the Awareness tells X— is a mess? And so X prepares the body for violent physical activity and you don’t do anything, you just sit there and stew because things aren’t like they ought to be; and that’s a terrific wear and tear on this beautiful instrument called the human body. You got any particular argument about it—you want to tear it up or would it be all right to let it function on for a few centuries?
The next world is probably better but you’re better acquainted here so you might as well stick around a while - without the constant wear and tear of the struggle, conflict, turmoil that goes on within one, struggling towards an ideal.
Now Darlene asked me a moment ago to remind everybody that some people went on eating binges, right? And I will also remind her, now, that I like them just like they are even though some are rounder than others, ok? I don’t think there’s any standards or ideals. They’re all beautiful just like they are. I wouldn’t want everybody to look like a post. You’re pretty.
So let’s all consider for a few minutes some of the ideals that you hold out for you. We’ll start with you. What is your favorite ideal of what ought to be—a jillion of them, but what’s you’re favorite—the one you work over most for you?
What does success mean?
(Money, as much as I can handle.)
Well, that’s something that if you’ve never handled a lot of it, it would be very dangerous. You remember when we said this morning; we said that a sudden change in the lifestyle was more than what most people could handle, huh? Now, somebody who’s never had very much money and suddenly has a whole bunch of it, I have found to be extremely disintegrating to them because they can’t handle the sudden change in lifestyle.
By the same token somebody who has had considerable amount of money and suddenly is without it can’t handle it. But it’s just as dangerous to suddenly have a lot of it. But what do you mean by success? Success is gaining your ideals or is it being?
(Gaining the ideals, right.)
Which is, you catch an illusion by the tail and you have caught the illusion and therefore you look at yourself as what? Unsuccessful - because you have an ideal. But merely “being”, if you weren’t struggling over here, no telling how much money you’d have to carry around because it’s fairly easy to make when you don’t have all this friction going on over here. The obstruction to having the lifestyle you’d like to become accustomed to - that success - is due to the fact that one is obstructed by constantly being unable to do things.
It’s like we were talking a little earlier. The person says, “I want to make a lot of money, but I don’t want to be tied down with a business.” Now that’s what you call the ideal, you see - two of them. And if you didn’t have all that struggle… There used to be back in the depression days—doesn’t look like many of you remember those, but I do—where people had a big scheme that they could really make a lot of money if they could just get $25 to get a bus ticket to get out of town.
I know a lot of people today that got schemes laid out that they can make millions if they just had $500 or $5,000 or $50,000 or whatever it is. Recently there was a treasure hunt in New Mexico. I don’t know if it got into your newspapers or not. But it was solid for us for a few days that there was a man a number of years ago who died many years ago who was out wandering in the desert one day and supposedly fell in a hole and found tons and tons and tons of gold bars. And of course, for many reasons, nobody could ever get back to get the gold out, so it’s there. In the meantime the government has taken over the area—it’s a proving ground and all the people were kept out. But for years before the government took over, they still couldn’t go get it. It wasn’t the right weekend or the pick up had a flat tire. Millions! Couldn’t get over there this weekend; many little things that weren’t just right. So the story kept going and finally some attorneys got in on it and they got lawsuits going, and they finally got permission to go for one week onto the White Sands Proving Ground and dig this stuff out. Well, they went for the week and they hadn’t even found a piece yet. So they got an extension for two weeks and they started digging a hole and the hole just was like all holes—going nowhere and after two weeks they had to leave. The government said, “You had your chance, goodbye, get out,” and they’re all gone. And now the legend is that they were within 8 feet of it. Now if I know there is umpteen millions of dollars of gold down there, I’m going to get a hole in there some way—I don’t care what. But there were so many little things happen.
And one of my little friends down there said that if they found it, it would all turn into carbon because they were very greedy people. You know what carbon is—that’s a little kind of charcoal. He said that if they ever found it, the gold would disappear and it would turn into carbon. So anyway there’s still millions of it down there in that mountain if anybody wants to go get it. They dug the hole and it’s within 8 feet, so you have very little distance to go. But this is about the way your success has been, right? It was always just over yon hill.
Do you work?
That’s what everybody works for all their life; so they get so they don’t work. That right, Steiner? That’s what everybody’s working for so they could retire and not have to work.
(No, I was born tired and just had to realize it.)
Well, I know. I said these people want to be successes. They all want to make a lot of money so they can retire and not do anything.
You don’t work, you’re living, you’re here, man; your doing all right. If you ever wanted to go to work, no telling what would happen. I don’t see why you should work, you got it made anyway, is that right? You got home, food, transportation, that’s all anybody’s got, you know.
Now what’s your big ideal?
(I consider them preferences.)
Well, what are they, some of them—what’s the top line? The ‘ought to be’ that you see as a preference.
A new lifestyle, right?
Well is there anything preventing you from doing it today?
(Getting from here to there you mean?)
It was something you said you wanted to do. Why aren’t you doing it? If you want to be self-employed there’s nothing to keep you from it, is there?
There’s no resistance except that it ought to be what?
(It’s got to be sooner.)
Well, can you do it this moment? What’s the obstruction to you doing it immediately? I’m just trying to clarify it. What’s keeping you from it? You want to be self-employed, but what’s the “but”?
You don’t need any money to start.
(My ideal of self-employment is it has to be on my terms. It has to be properly given to me.) (Laughter.)
(He writes on the board) “I want to be self employed, BUT not this way.” In other words, you prefer to remain as you are—you’re a victim because you don’t have enough money. You were born in the wrong family. If you were, they’d have a sufficient amount of money right now. Is that correct? So not this way, because I might have to scratch a little bit to do it, that one being that it wasn’t the ideal. Now if you wait long enough you’ll probably die and never get there. What you have been saying is that if you wait long enough, maybe the money will show up. But if you ever make up your mind to do something without any of the conditions on it (we talk about people being conditioned—condition means we always set up conditions) so, if you just made up your mind, “I’m going to go work at being self-employed” and you made up your mind to do it without all this clutter down here, you know it would all work around very nicely—you’d be surprised. But as long as you set up conditions, it seems that X will say, very nicely, “Well, if you’re so smart, let’s see you do it.”
We put out a little statement a while ago for everybody to kind of make a note of that. That “X always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives from Awareness.” You said, “I want to go into business, but I can’t because I don’t have enough money.”
Now, the reason to go into business is to make money, I heard. Is that right? If you already got it, why bother to make it? I read in a book one time where most every paragraph in it started, “and it came to pass”. So we won’t tarry here.
So let’s have a question or two or three or four.
(I have an ideal. I want to know what I need to do to feel the way you do NOW.)
Well, I’ll tell you how that is. I know nothing and I feel wonderful because I don’t know that. I don’t know what ought to be and so I’m fine. I can do that immediately—right now. That’s all I know - that I don’t know what ought to be. I know that and as the outcome of that, I feel marvelous, ok? Now do you know what ought to be?
(No, I don’t think____ unintelligible ____.)
Now if you feel you know what ought to be, that you ought to do whatever it was you just said, then you made an ideal out of it because you assumed a whole bunch. You see the only thing I know is that I know I don’t know what ought to be so I’m very pleased with what is and you would feel marvelous right now. So do you know what ought to be?
Then you’re miserable.
(You’re right. I didn’t know that though.)
Well you do now. Now you can quit knowing what ought to be. And is everything all right just like it is?
How do you feel?
(I feel marvelous.)
Good. That was simple, wasn’t it?
(I’d like to go back to a statement you made earlier and this is positive thinking -- the idea of getting up in the morning and saying “It’s a glorious morning and I feel great”.)
IF it is a glorious morning and you feel great. Now, if you didn’t do that and you got up and you’re really feeling, “Oh God, it’s morning again,” and if you say that, you’re trying to kid yourself. Now the other thing you could do is start acting like it is a glorious morning and you felt wonderful. There’s a difference between thinking and acting. I believe anybody here will agree.
(Label, all right.)
No they’re not labels—thinking and acting are two different functions. You can think, you can act and you can feel. Now I don’t know how many other things you can do. They are not interchangeable—they’re different activities. Those are the only things we can do.
Now ordinarily what happens is that we get up of a morning and we feel a certain way, we act like we feel and then we think to explain why we feel naturally miserable. Is that right?
We could think first, “How would I like to feel?” And then, “How would I act if I already felt that way?” and start acting that way, which is positive action and not thinking. You’d begin to feel that way in a little bit because these two—feeling and action -- are a two-way street. As you act you will feel; or as you feel, you have a tendency to act if you don’t take charge. And most of us live by acting like we feel. That’s what’s called being a “fathead”. (Feel – Act – Think)
(If you, the I, is complaining and trying to please others and you have the chemical imbalance making you sick or the unusual behavior, is it all going at the same time?)
Yes, usually it’s all going at the same time. You want to go both ways at the same time and you get in trouble, is that right? Now, you don’t have to go either of those ways, or you can go one or the other one. Did you ever notice people who just climb out and like to please everybody and have no qualms about it and get along fine? And an old reprobate who doesn’t want to please anybody gets along just fine? And then there are a few ones under the table that figured out another route, but we’ll talk about that later. But none of those are ‘should’s’ or ‘ought to’s’—you can’t do two things at one time. You can’t stand up and sit down at the same time. When you try and attempt to do it, you tear yourself to pieces. There’s nothing haywire in my book if you want to be a reprobate and give everybody a hard way to go, fine—you’ll be healthy. And if you want to be a doormat and really enjoy it and not resent it by wanting to go the other way, that’s fine. And if you want to go out and just be a good guest at this party and have a good time, you can do that, too. But you can only do one thing at a time without turmoil.
If you will observe, again, we’re not saying, “It’s right, wrong, you should, you should not,” but if you observe, you will see that you’re wanting to go two ways almost about everything. You can’t do that because that’s struggle, conflict and resistance and that’s the disintegrating factor. That’s the only thing that disintegrates people—struggle, conflict and resistance. And the only way you can be in all this struggle and conflict is that you have an ideal set up. ‘What is’ you don’t like; and you’re struggling towards the ideal which means you want to go two ways at one time. Now, you can’t travel north and south at the same time. You can go north as long as you want and you can go south as long as you want, but you can’t go north and south at the same time. You can’t stand up and sit down. You can’t be joyful and sad at the same time, but you can do either one. That make any sense to you? Now just because you started out with one, doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it forever and ever. You can change any time you want to. But anything I want to do, I want to do it with all of me; but when I quit, I quit with all of me. Is that easy enough?
Now, the fact that you would make up your mind to go into business doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it forever and ever. Maybe you run the business for two years and sell it, give it away or do whatever you want to with it. But the way you have been operating is what? You want to, but you don’t want to. I don’t want to do this, but I can’t do that and you go back and forth, you poor little kitten.
(If I have an aim or direction ________ unintelligible ____)
From a medical point, you don’t have to justify what you’re going to do.
(Ok, it falls under ‘what ought to be’.)
(It’s not what is now.)
‘What is’ is you’re aiming. Did you ever shoot a gun?
You were looking on down the barrel and doing what they call aiming. You were aiming. You’re doing it now, aren’t you?
Now you’re not knocking the cat over down there, you’re just aiming. If you say what I want is for the cat to be knocked over, but I’m afraid I can’t hit him, then you’ll stand there and worry around. But you can be aiming at something at any time. Now, the outcome is immaterial, isn’t it? You’re in motion. You see most of us when we’re in a conflict don’t get into motion except on the inside. We get, then, what’s called emotion—anger, guilt, fear, insecurity, turmoil, upset all around. As long as you’re doing something, you’re in motion and don’t have emotion. Now, what kind of aim would you want to aim at?
(Well, I just want to work in a business.)
(Motion picture business.)
Ok, where does the first _____ go?
(Reported that I want to work in the motion picture business.)
Report is fine. So you make up your mind and you act. So there is making the decision of what you want. Now there’s an act. One time I was off out here in the desert and we wanted to build a dining room; and the building inspector’s weren’t in favor of me building dining rooms and stuff without drawings and permits and all this stuff. So we knew when he came by—then he wouldn’t come back until the next Thursday. And so, on Friday we started piling up material out there and I got a couple of guys that were supposed to know how to build things and they started measuring. And they measured for two days and nothing happened so I go out there and say, “Have you figured out where the first board goes?” They said, “Yes.” I said “Where?” They said, “Well next to that post there?” I said, “Well, get it up there.” So number one board got up. I said, “Well, where does the second one go?” They said it goes in a certain place. I said, “Where does the third one go? Put it up.”
In 24 hours that room was complete and finished and the building inspector came by and said, “How’d that get up there.” I said, “What do you mean how’d that get up there?” He said, “I don’t remember that room being there.” I said, “That room’s been there forever.” (Laughter.) I didn’t argue with him that we’d built a wall with a roof on it, but the room had been there forever, we’d just enclosed it. (Laughter.)
Now the way you get there is you start. There’s two things go. In using certain terminology they call it faith and prayer. That’s pretty words for it. Now faith is the ability to make up your mind and prayer is the ability to put up the first board. Steps towards whatever you’re going to do, ok? So if you don’t ever take that first step, you don’t ever initiate because X is only going to do what you say is of first value. So you say I want to into the motion picture business. Ok, it says, “Fine.” Now there must be some first step to get you in that business. Is that right? I don’t know what part of it you want to do—like Michael and start at the top—be a producer or start at the bottom and be an actor or whatever. But there’s got to be a first step somewhere for what direction you’re going. You got an aim. The first thing is you got to get the gun out, is that right?
Now, what’s the first step? Point it at something.
(Well, I pointed it at getting the craft.)
Ok, what is your craft? Ok, you’re a beautiful actor, you’ve been doing it all morning. You’re very beautiful. So you can start putting on the act, ok? Now the next step will have to show itself and then that becomes the first step in line. So you see, you always make up your mind and then you do the first step toward it. What’s the first step that you would take?
(Accepting what is, I don’t know.)
Well, there’s something that you would do, you don’t just sit and hope that somebody comes down and says, “We need you for an actor in our movie.” Right? That hardly ever happens. I’ve been sitting around for years and nobody’s ever come ask me to play a part in a movie yet.
(Well, you know I have all the necessary things like an agent and my craft down. I don’t know where to go.)
Go bug the agent.
(Which I did yesterday, but …)
Well, I’d bug him every hour.
(The squeaky wheel gets the grease.)
I’d bug him. You got an agent and he hasn’t booked you.
(He’ll drop me.) (Laughter)
That would be the first step then is to get an agent. But you see there’s always something you can do besides wait.
Go bug him.
(I’ll find another one.)
(Sometimes, isn’t it appropriate to wait?)
Well, I don’t know—I never wait. Sometimes I sit around and rest a while, but
(I don’t mean waiting—I mean passive.)
Oh you can be passive if you’re going to do something. Once you make up your mind and take the first step, then you can be passive for a few minutes.
(Passive is doing then, waiting is………..)
Waiting is waiting and he’s been waiting a long time, haven’t you?
Patiently waiting, right? It’s fine.
(The inertia bit there………….)
Yes, inertia is one of those good ones. That’s what we get as soon as we can’t make up our mind to act. Now we can make up our mind we’re going to have all these great things. I’m going to be the world’s greatest actor. I’m going to be the greatest person in the world; but if we don’t start, that’s inertia. Now they have another name for it, which we couldn’t repeat here, but I’m sure everybody knows what it is.
(Is there any pre-decided idea that you’re going to have resistance?)
You never have any resistance unless you have an ideal. If you have otherwise, it is a growth procedure and there’s nothing to it; but if you have an ideal as to how it ought to be, then you experience tremendous resistance, don’t you? And then that proves you’re really a victim because you had so much resistance in the last two weeks. But it’s only because you have an ideal.
(Say I feel a certain way now and I want to feel a different way, so I would act that way.)
(Now I did confuse between that and the 5th decision to be different.)
No I don’t want to be different; I’m just going to be because I like to be. I don’t ‘ought to be’. The 5th decision says I ought to be different, doesn’t it? And this one says, “Look, how would I like to be?” You know, ‘like’ has nothing to do with what ought to be. So if I get up in the morning and feel kind of weary and tired and hung over from yesterday’s work, I want to feel how I like, not how I ought to be. The 5th decision says, “I should be different”—and it should just happen—I’m entitled to it. This one says that I want to---I like to feel pretty good today. I got a lot of work to do that I want to do today and so I want to feel good.
So then I will start acting it out. And there is a decided difference between what I like, and what ought to be. In fact most everything that I like, I was told it not ought to be. Did you ever notice that? What I like ought not to be; but I still liked it and I’m going to do it. But, you see that those taboos remove freedom or space in which to function. So if I like to feel good when I go to work, then I’m going to act a certain way for a few minutes, so I begin to feel that way. It’s not because I ought to or I should; it’s simply because it suits my taste. I much prefer to feel vital and alive and ready to go.
(What is it with aim?)
If one doesn’t have any aim, one is usually just floating around and that’s whatever the chips fly in.
(If you don’t have any aim, then your life has no direction.)
It’s just what comes along and bumps you. Any wind.
(Is it that what comes along and bumps you, that which you collect?)
Not necessarily—it’s what you do about what bumps you. It’s according to what you report to X as to the way it functions. You might move out of the way.
(If you’ve gone through the vicious cycle and have unusual cellular activity and adaptation, then what do you do?)
I’d quit. I get tired of it. Who wants to go around again? There’s no reason to go around again—the same loop.
(You can’t change the adaptation.)
What do you mean change it—like what? Scars?
(Yeah, leave it that way.)
You couldn’t possibly change scars; however they do fade out I’ve noticed after a long time. But all the adaptation would cease. If you have unusual cellular activity and unusual sensation and the tissue cell alteration and breakdown may leave scars. I tell people if they’re going to adapt you might as well do it by unusual behavior because it leaves less scars.
If you like the world and then you don’t require all that adaptation and you’re not bent all out of shape. You feel pretty good. You might be achy once in a while.
(Dr. Gibson, my favorite ideal is not to have an ideal.)
Well, maybe that would be fun. Some people have to make an ideal out of anything, no matter what. So if I made an ideal never to have an ideal then I would make a conflict over the possibility that I might make an ideal out of having the ideal. It’s very much like the man that couldn’t step in the same mud puddle twice. Did you hear about him?