School Talk 1 - Love
(audience participation in parenthesis)
4 words for love
Nothing nor nobody is to blame
Getting caught in doing the "right thing"
Initiative-resistance-form-and result-with example of nature
Self Improvement fallacies
Fallacy of "reason"
Blaming as an obstacle
I asked many people to give me what they wanted to talk about, so the most of them said, "talk about love". That must be a good subject these days, so we'll talk about love.
The one English word love has come from many Greek words, which seems to have had a little more concise meaning. So we talk about love in all sorts of ways. I love hamburgers, I love dogs. As you drive down the street today, you see jillions of bumper stickers with "lovin' everything under the sun". So then we say something about we love people; and then we love God--and all sorts of pretty words.
So I'm going to separate these a little bit. The first one is pia. That is the word the Greeks used which referred to love of your offspring, or maybe the offspring's concern for their parents. Now let's don't assume this is purely a human trait. If any of you grew up on a farm, you know if you make a little baby pig squeal, you got a sow to contend with very quickly-- and she's vicious in no uncertain terms. Same with the old cow. If you hurt the little calf and he squawks a little bit--or even an old mother chicken, if the little baby chicken squawks--here she comes, So pia is fairly known amongst all animals of any size or degree of evolving animals. So let's don't think this is strictly human.
And the next one is Eros. That's the way the little ones got here; so obviously. that goes around pretty well between all sorts of creatures both great and small. Humans have it; and they make more of a production about it than the others do. They even have ceremonies in churches and all sorts of things; but it seems to be based upon the same thing that results in little baby calves, and little baby puppies, and little baby kittens, and little baby birds. Eros is the mating attractions and it's very common.
And then there is Phelia which means "I like", in the simplest words we could use today-is "I like this". So we might say "I like chocolate cake". "I like boxer dogs'. "I like colonial houses." "I like antique furniture", we hope. And we like a lot of other things that comes along. So now that one is in the category of "I like"
Now all kinds of creatures, as we said, seem to exhibit these forms of love that the Greeks used--these three words instead of our one word love; but they all have been translated from that into the one English word love. So obviously there's probably a little confusion going on about the whole thing.
So the other Greek word they had was agape-you pronounce it whatever way you like. I say-agape--and I'm told all the time that it's wrong, so that's OK. But at any rate, that refers to a bit of understanding.
I UNDERSTAND THAT WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING--EVER HAVE DONE--OR EVER WILL DO, AND WHATEVER I HAVE EVER DONE--AM DOING--OR WILL EVER DO WITH WHAT LIGHT THE PERSON HAS, AT THE MOMENT OF DOING IS FELT TO BE RIGHT, OR PROPER OR JUSTIFIABLE.
Now justification is always breaking down on us--if you've noticed. It can feel very justified at the moment; but three hours later, the justification breaks down; and then we have quilt feelings--and all sorts of other emotions like that. Basically, this is the one where you have an understanding of other people and yourself as well--that whatever you're doing at that moment--that was the only thing you could do with what light you had at that moment.
Now, when one has experienced agape, one is in an advanced state; that one is an advanced state; and only human beings can have this form of love. So this one gets into humans--these others are not necessarily humans. Well, they are human, but maybe other things as well.
Now we would like to add one more word for love on here if we may. We will put UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Now unconditional love is where there is EVERY love or whatever means of concern (or right or feeling or delight in another human being) we have without regard to conditions or what that person does. So "not to set a condition" for a purpose is a little foreign to most of us. Most of us think of love as "that's fine as long as you're doing what I want you to, when I want you to and the way I want you to; but if you shouldn't do it that way, to hell with you." You know, you got all sorts of things in the way. So I think we'll find that most of the love (we know about) in personal and interpersonal relationships is very conditional. If he goes out with somebody and goes water skiing without asking me, he has to pay off or something like that--some little deal. So we got a condition set. Do you have any conditions set as to how your love will be reciprocated, Miss Mary?
(I don't know if I understand the question, I know that I'm in a situation where it's very conditional love.)
(I'm in a situation where everything is……)
…………..based on a condition. In other words certain conditions have to be met before things can be peaceful.
Ok. So that would be conditional love, ok? So we're talking about an unconditional one here.
Most everybody would answer along with Miss Mary that there are certain conditions set in order to have my reciprocated love, is that right? We'll say, "I love you"; but then we say, "Well, that's fine, but you gotta do this and you must not do that, and you must do this or else it's all over with." Is that right? That's why we have divorce courts, I think--among other things. That's also why we have wars and many many other things is because there is a "very definite condition set" in which I will reciprocate love.
Now let's see if we could conceive of having a "caring" or whatever word you want to use for love, for someone that we did not have a condition set. You think you could do that, Miss Mary?--that there would be no condition? No matter what they did, you still have the same feeling about them--think you could do that one? Probably not.
(In my heart, I feel like I could.)
Oh yes, in the heart, but when it goes into action--then that's a horse of another color, is that right? So this is what we've heard the word "divine love"--and the love of God. Well, I don't know what all those words mean, but let's say that we could conceive that an entity could so love you regardless of what you did.
Somewhere I've read that the rain falls on the just and the unjust--just alike. A thief has just as much adaptation to keep his body going as the "greatest goody, goody two shoes" person that is running around. Is that right?
Now if we could conceive of unconditional love--unconditional love leads to power. Now most everybody would like to have power-whatever the power is that you want--to do whatever it is you want to do is up to you--whatever your power may be. Some people want the power to heal. Some want the power to entertain. Some want the power to do a jillion other things, whatever it may be-maybe it would be to make a business go.
But we want power. The way to power is through unconditional love. So obviously most power is only struggle because we don't conceive of too many people having unconditional love. You think you've run into that person anywhere where there was un conditions--or was their always a bunch of conditions set.
There's always a bunch of conditions set. So unconditional love does lead to power, but without unconditional love there is only struggle--there really isn't any great power going around.
Now let's see if we can conceive for a few minutes "what is the obstruction to unconditional love". We maintain you have about everything if you don't have an obstruction to it. It is the nature of you to have it. So what would you feel might be some of the obstructions to unconditional love.
Mary, would you like to comment on that one a second please? What would be the obstruction to you experiencing unconditional love?
(Trying to get my way.)
That's back to conditioning, is that right? So in basic conditioning, "we want to have our way right now", and the way to get it is to complain--so "we want to have our way right now". We want to have other people do what we want them to--so we want a little control. Now if you don't have control, you can get awful ticked off at people right quick, is that right? Huh? Is that right with you too?-- "bout everybody else? So, if they would be very controllable; why, they'd be loveable, wouldn't they?
I'm sorry, but my tape that I wanted to play, to start the day, is called "Songs of Couch and Consultation." It's in my car, and the car is in California. So we won't play it today, but I will promise to play it for you one of these days. "Songs of Couch and Consultation," and there is one place in it where a little girl sings a song, "I can't get adjusted to the you that got adjusted to me". So he went through all the rigmarole to get fixed up the way she wanted him, but after she's got it--she can't stand it. She can't get adjusted to the him that got adjusted to her.
So we have all these conditions over here that we could run for hours and hours. We can set up that "what is necessary before you could have my love". Huh? What would it take before somebody could have your love? First off, lots and lots of money--then we'll go from there. That about right?
And he doesn't know how to dance well-so he's got to be how many other things? You want to run off a few hundred of them.
(There's a long list.)
There's a long list--all of which conditions must be met before he could enjoy your love, is that right? Huh? .
So that's not the way to power. It may be the way to conflict, struggle, and a lot of fights along the way, huh?
(Yes, and a lot of fantasies.)
There's a lot of fantasies, a lot of struggles, a lot of disappointments, and a lot of all kinds of other things that goes along in the realm called love. Is that right? Ok. Could you conceive that it would be possible to have unconditional love? That you could love without any conditions--regardless of what the person does or does not do? Do you think you could ever do that, or does that look about as remote as stepping on the moon's tail tonight?
(It's possible; I'm working on that.)
You're working on it. Ok. How would you work on it?
(How would I work on it?)
(By just being conscious that I'm that way.)
…..that you're which way?
(That I do put conditions on……)
Gobs of them, huh?--and you think maybe it might change it someday?
Hopefully, it probably won't; but you can hope, honey. There's always hope they told me--so you can give it a bloody go.
But at any rate, it's possible that we could by knowing "self" and seeing where we have our little bits of conditioning over here. First off, we think the whole purpose of living is to be non-disturbed; and I don't think any of us have achieved that state very long at a time except with the help of heavy shots of alcohol or a lot of drugs or something else for a little while; and then one wakes up in a while, is that right Glen? Did you ever try any of those non-disturbed states?
(For a little while, it worked.)
Worked fine for a few hours; but then, oh God, the hangover.
And so we have set up a bunch of little conditions. Number 1, if I complain enough, you're supposed to do what I want you to do. So there's a certain amount of complaining goes on all the time. Have you done any complaining?--not more than a few minutes ago. And next there is sticking up for our rights. That's when we get a little angry, you know, we think that we'll get them all straightened up. If I get angry with them, they're going to straighten up. I say, "You made me mad and that means you're going to have to change your ways in a hurry and get with it", is that right?
Did anybody ever make you mad?
How'd it go about it?
(The conditions they had of "what I should do".)
…or did you put conditions on what "they should do>"
(I've done that too.)
It's nice to shove it all over on the other guy; and then, of course, some places we've studied that maybe if we please everybody, everything will be all right; but the trouble with that is they're so hard to please, isn't it? In fact--they're almost impossible, huh? But what difference does it make whether they're pleased or not.
And then we have our authorities; and we quote our little authorities to every body else, and they should agree with our authorities. If they don't agree, there's something wrong with them. If they don't agree with my authorities, they sure are misinformed--real badly. Is that right, Mary? If they don't agree with my authority, they are just not fit to be around--that's all there is to it.
And we do the self-improving bit. We don't even have unconditional love for ourselves. We "ought to be improved"; and then I would like me. But how do you go about improving humans. Do you stick another arm on, or another ear, or another leg, or what do you do to them to improve them Glen?
(You read Napoleon Hills' book.)
I read Napoleon Hill's book; and it made me slightly nauseous.
(Laughter from the audience)
So I quit right there. Self-improvement is basically a fallacy that people think of-"if we could improve, we would more nearly fit some ideal we've heard of". Ok?
You know the manmade world puts out a lot of "ideals" of "what ought to be", is that right? Now if you fit all of those, how do you think you might be. How would you be if you fit all those many different "what ought to be's", "what should be." How you think you'd be Mary.
(I have no idea.)
I've got news for you--you'd be tied in more knots--we couldn't tell where your head was, where your feet were or anything else because those "ideals" all go in many different directions. I could sit here and rattle them off, but I'm liable to get close to somebody that's got some of them.
Then, of course, we have our little bit of blaming which means we see "the cause" of things, and obviously "you're the cause of all my difficulty". If you, and he, and she, and they, and it, would all straighten up and be like the "ought to"-you think you know everything would be just wonderful with you.
Also in the song of "Couches and Consultation" there's a lady sings the song that says, "When she's properly loved everything will be all right". So far she's been loved a lot, but not properly; and so that "great and bright and shining her" hasn't come out yet. But whenever she's loved properly, it will be. So then we can blame somebody else, you see.
Now all blaming is setting a condition that you must behave totally different than the way you are-straighten up and fly right, and do exactly as I want you to, when I want you to; or else you will make me cry, and It's all your fault, so there!
That's conditional. Now if we could look at these and say, "Hey, that doesn't belong to me". Those are things that has been kicked around and added on to me since I was a little child (in some ways or other)--they don't belong to me. We say not "I". That's a term we use for something that we have been conditioned with mechanically; and we no longer recognize it. It's a recording--just like is being recorded on that tape down there. It has nothing to do with really being you, but it's recorded there. It acts like you, in the present moment; and mechanically turns on and plays off every so often.
Now we could say, "Well, hey, wait a minute, this is keeping me in a turmoil--it's making all my personal and interpersonal relationships far less than I like it, and I don't have to have it." And maybe we could begin to form our own frame of reference about other people. We could, at least, go back after that form of love-agape--we looked at today. We can see that they're doing what they think is right, proper, and justifiable at the moment--and do you use any other method to determine what you're going to do? At the moment of doing, it feels right, or it feels proper, or at least it's justifiable, is that right?--any moment you're challenged, is that correct?
(It seems you're trying to reason with them.)
Well, that's when your "justifying", is the only time you use reason. So then we reason and reason and after while we wind up in a conflict over it. I want to, and I don't want to at the same time--is that about right? That leaves you in turmoil, doesn't it? You can't do two things at once. You can't stand up and sit down at the same time, huh? And you can't walk and stand still at the same time. So, we'll be doing one or the other, but no matter which one you've done, you'll wish you'd done the other.
Getting caught in trying to do the "right thing"
You get caught in doing the "right thing"
(I'm not sure.)
Well, you are unsure, possibly, because you have a vague idea that "if I do the right thing, everything will work out just right."--is that correct?
Mama told you that if you just always do the "right thing", everything would be just wonderful; but you never have figured out what the "right thing" is. So you assume that if it doesn't turn out wonderful, what you did wasn't the "right thing" and something else over there was. But you see that was a little trick that gets played on us-tell us to always do the "right thing". Who knows what it is? I don't know the outcome of what I'm doing right now--two weeks from now. I don't know the outcome of it a month from now-two months--or a year from now--so how do I know I'm doing the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't even be near this place. Maybe I should go out there doing other things--It might work out wonderful, who knows? I might buy a lottery ticket and win the lottery, or some wonderful something could happen. I don't know what; but if this didn't work out so well, what would I tell myself afterwards? I might unconsciously think I must have not done the right thing. Is that right?
We don't want to catch Mama in a big fib, but I done caught her there. So I don't know what the "right thing" is, and she didn't know--but she laid it on me to always do the "right thing" with the false promise that everything would work out right. I don't ever do what I think is "right" because I don't know what it is. So I just DO WHAT I WANT TO in the hope it isn't fatal immediately. So far it hasn't been-that's about all you can get with it.
Have you been telling your kids to do the "right thing" too?
(I don't know.)
You don't want to talk about that one.
How about you, Susan? Did you ever lay that on the kids?
(I started to, but their will is a lot stronger.)
I'm glad. I'm glad I got to them when they were babies. I told them--don't listen to her--she'll be telling you to do the "right thing". So if we could begin to just take a little bit of effort seeing that possibly the greatest thing we could ever come up with would be unconditional love; and that it's way is only blocked. The block is that we are believing all these things up here--that's the block. Now if we could cease to believe all that material, then I could "like you and care for you" no matter what you do or don't do, ok? That right? And you know I bet you wouldn't fight very much if you saw things that way.
As there is unconditional love, I have power because that's where power comes from--is through unconditional love. People want all sorts of powers; and then they try all sorts of things. They read, as Glen said, "Napoleon Hills"; and they read a jillion other books that all tells you how to do all sorts of things. Have you read any of them like the positive thinking book.
(I don't think I've read any of his.)
Well, I'm not talking about Napoleon Hills. I'm talking about the ones you've read.
You've read a few of them. How'd they work Hon?
(They didn't work.)
Ok. Did you ever hear of people working on positive thinking? You know what that is? If you have a headache, what do you say?
(I don't have any.)
Is that positive or is it trying to convince yourself of something you know damn well is not true, huh? You wouldn't be saying, "I don't have a headache", if you didn't, would you?
You don't go around saying, "I don't have a headache." "I don't have a headache." "I don't have a headache." You just take that for granted and go on, is that right? How far out can we get?
So we try all these many stunts. We never think about removing the obstructions, huh? Now if Linda should reach up over her head there and pull a button on the wall there, she creates an obstruction to the flow of current to this light fixture up here, right? Now do you think reading nice things to it, or saying positive things to it, would make it turn on. Would you think any 101 other things that we could do would turn it on? We might even pray about it. You think that would it'd turn it on.
……….Or would you remove the obstruction by using the switch? Then you don't have to do a thing, the light just turns on all by itself. So that's the "way of power" in the human being because the human being has Life. We will put an X there because we don't know how to define Life. Do you? Do you know how to define life? Do you know how to define life?
You know it exists-we can look at her, she's alive. If she wasn't, the body is all piled up there on the floor, isn't it? We can even look at a blade of grass and tell whether it's alive or not, right? Even a buzzard can tell a live tree from a dead one. He lights on the dead ones all the time. So this [X] is there; and it is power because it has any conceivable kind of power that you want to conceive of-that's where it comes from.
Then there's AWARENESS, which is my job, and here's the BODY and here's THE FUNCTION. [link to picture of man] Now if awareness has unconditional love, it can report accurately. If you don't have unconditional love, you are unconsciously, at least, blaming something. You ever notice that? You're always blaming something. "I didn't get this because that happened." "I'm not happy because of so and so."
"I've not got a lot of money because those big companies are all taking it", and "they didn't leave me much out of my own paycheck" and "everything's agin' all of us", or "the government is taking away more money from me than I can earn". You know you always find something to blame, don't you? So blaming is the expression of conditional love-blaming.
Blaming is a bar against doing anything about anything
Now there's a statement made which I have tried to check up on for twenty years and haven't disproved it to this day. Maybe I can tomorrow. THAT IS THAT BLAMING IS A BAR AGAINST DOING ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. Does that seem to be kind of reasonable? If you're blaming, you just sit there and wait until that changes; and I got news-you're going to wait a long, long, long time, huh? So if I'm blaming, there is an obstruction to power.
Now we may not consciously think we're blaming all the time; but more than likely "if you check up how it happens", we give "excuses" as to WHAT'S GOING ON. Isn't an excuse another way of saying a blame, but it sounds like a nicer word. I'm always looking for the "cause" or "why" something happened. Did you ever notice that-a little "why" did this happen? Right? Is "why" looking for something to blame--nothing else?
If you're going to find the "cause" of something--and "cause" is a rather respectable word--and blaming is not. Huh? Blaming is a nasty word, but "cause"-now that fits right up there amongst the scientific world. If I find the "cause" of something, have I found what's to blame? It's just another way of saying it--the polite nice way of saying it. But I'm still saying that's what is to blame. Huh?
("Cause" doesn't necessarily mean an object of blame.)
Well, tell me about it. Let me have it.
(Some things are uncontrollable.)
Like which, by emotions for instance.
(I can't think of anything right off the bat.)
My emotions--most people say, are uncontrollable, don't they? Is that right? Emotions are uncontrollable to most people, are they not? So I had an emotional binge and killed six people. So it wasn't me, I'm not to blame. You read that every few days in the paper where some guy goes berserk. He was temporarily insane; therefore, not to blame, is that right? He wasn't responsible.
(I've always wanted to ask you. You're driving along in a car and the car stops and you say, "Oh, I wonder if I'm out of gas." And you're out of gas. Now that's not really what's to blame, but it's a very important relationship.)
Well, I have been around where people kicked the gas tank. I have seen that happen. I've seen a person get out and kick a tire because it was flat. And I have seen some big family fights over the gas tank being empty. He gave her hell for not filling it up yesterday when she had it out; and she knew it was damn near empty. If you don't think it leads to blame, you watch it next time. If nothing else, you'll blame yourself for not having looked at the gauge.
(Well, I think relationships are valuable.)
I do too.
(I'm not throwing those out.)
I'm not taking a thing wrong with the relationship; I'm trying to put it in a different category-with a category of unconditional love in the relationship instead of all these conditions. No, I'm not throwing relationships out; I'm not nuts honey. People are going to be getting together a long time. I know that. Relationships are going to be around. People are going to be relating, but are they going to be relating with a set of conditions, or are they going to be relating without all the conditions. I prefer the latter if it's all right with everybody concerned. I don't want to set a bunch of conditions. Does that seem complicated to you?
(I think everything is "cause and effect".)
You do? On what do you base that?
(Well, the sun causes certain effects.)
(We have vegetation.)
Let's have the sun and what. Here's the sun, now where's the vegetation?
(All about us.)
Ok, there's vegetation here; but is there some water involved?
And there's also some earth, and a seed involved, is that right?
Ok, now we got a seed, and water, and soil, and the sun--now which one is "cause"?
(I didn't say there was only one cause.)
No, let's don't talk about "cause"--maybe there is no such thing. We've been taught that idea all our lives--I'm aware of that-that there's cause and effect, but it may be that there is no such relationship on this earth-maybe some other place, but not here.
Let's "put up here" that we take a very simple one. There's a sawhorse, and there's a board, and there's little Mary on that end, and little Joe over here on this end; and they're playing teeter-totter They get a game going, right? Now let's take any one of those four factors away and see what we have left? Do we still have the game or is it all over with? If Mary jumps off the end of the board and runs home, is there a game going on or is it over with now?
(No, that's finished.)
That's finished. If somebody grabs the sawhorse and runs back to the garage with it, that game's finished. If they take the board and go nail it on the wall, the game's finished, is that right? SO RELATIONSHIP POSSIBLY EXISTS, BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS FOUR FACTORS INVOLVED AND NOT TWO. We only look at one little side of it when we only see two factors and call it "cause and effect". IF WE SEE THE FOUR, WE SEE THE FOUR FACTORS INTERRELATING IN A BALANCED STATE, AND WE'RE PROBABLY SEEING A LOT MORE. SO BALANCE IS MORE LIKE THE THING THAT EXISTS ALL THE TIME; AND IT TAKES FOUR FACTORS TO ESTABLISH A BALANCE, NOT TWO.
(You're playing a word game.)
No, we're not playing a word game; we're seeing something that's very worthwhile. That there are four factors involved instead of two; and if I only see two, I'm in a constant state of blaming--and we're trying to get out of this state, huh? That's what we're looking at; and we have been conditioned all our life….(end of tape and going to other side-words may be missing.)
I met that "kook" twenty six years ago, and he was arguing that everything was "cause and effect"; and he's finally gotten so that he says, "Well, maybe it's not quite true now." Form and result is involved in everything; and if we look at the four factors, we're seeing much more clearly than we do if we only think in terms of cause/effect.
Now, we've all been taught "cause, effect" and we generally "believe and do as we're told by our authorities". I said we could get in big hassles if you don't agree with my authorities; and I didn't agree with John's authorities. He quoted me some very ancient books including Hermetic Philosophy and he drug 'em out and showed me right there in black and white that it said for every effect there was a cause and for every cause there was effect; and as above, so below--and a whole bunch of other good words out of Hermetic Philosophy, I didn't buy it, but he kept trying. But he finally gave up, honey.
So I think that you could "check it out" a bit. We put it down that there is INITIATIVE, RESISTANCE, FORM AND RESULT. Now you're talking about the vegetation and the sun; but all four are involved in there, and everything else is in there. And now you can see that that's kind of the way things work; and there is absolutely nothing, nor nobody to blame. SO AS LONG AS WE CANNOT COME UP WITH THAT FUNDAMENTAL THAT THERE IS NOTHING, NOR NOBODY TO BLAME, WE'RE GOING TO BE BLAMING.
We can blame children, parents, husbands, wives, dogs, cats, virus--you name it--the economy--the government--and the other political party. If you listen to any of the politicians-(I haven't turned on the TV in a good many days, but the last time I did, there was one politician after another; and his sole sounding off was blaming the other guy for the mess we're in, is that right?) The other guy's to blame.
So, as long as we go on with blaming, there will be no unconditional love; and as long as there's no unconditional love, there'll be precious little personal power in human beings--precious little power, if any--and as soon as there is an unconditional love (which comes as a very natural result of seeing that all these things are not going on), I can be unconditional with it. I don't have to blame anybody--there is nothing, nor nobody to blame. Now I wrote that down a good many years ago; and I've had a great number of challenges on that through the years. I've also had written challenges sent to me that it's not possible that there is nothing nor nobody to blame.
Now, of course, that is an unpopular idea. Can you imagine what would happen to the court system? Can you just imagine what would happen, huh?
(Lawyer's would be out of work.)
….and could you imagine a more horrifying thing. Have all those guys on welfare?--and they draw big money. Man, you don't get just a little bit. But everything's got to be based on something being to blame, is that right? How could you have a war without some country being to blame, huh? How could you have a depression without having somebody to blame it on? Could you do that? How could you get ill unless you had somebody to blame it on-or something to blame it on. But you see, along with unconditional love comes responsibility; and responsibility (the other side of the coin) is total freedom--and freedom, is power.
Now that's where we finally get down here to unconditional love--power comes through unconditional love. Now I don't think it's impossible-in fact, I think it's the most natural thing in the world to begin to see that nothing, nor nobody is to blame. I'm not to blame, but neither are you, and neither is she, and neither is he or anybody else--nothing nor nobody is to blame. Now then, I can begin to take charge of things and begin to exercise personal power; and that power can be very unlimited--but it starts by coming through unconditional love, and unconditional love comes when you can begin to see that there is absolutely nothing nor nobody to blame. That is a hard one to give up because that makes me responsible, doesn't it John?
(I used to have a problem with it.)
Yes, because in those days you knew they were to blame. If it hadn't been for them, everything would have been all right; but you "thought that obviously you can see it as plain as the nose on your face".
Ok, I've talked long enough, now let's have conversation. We got tables and chairs here, so we'll have an oblong table conference. We'll have a round table discussion. So who wants to make a comment, challenge, throw me down, knock me out.
(I've always envisioned power as coming from conditions-but you're saying that it is the other way around.)
I know that-that's what everybody thinks, so they're trying to get conditions. They work and work and work to control circumstances.
(To use the power?)
……….but they don't ever get the power. They try to control circumstances, and think that everything would be all right, wouldn't it?
(So it's not a question of being all right or not, it's.)
Well, you want it
(being in my favor.)
Well, it's all right when it's in my favor--any jerk knows that--you know if it's in his favor, that's not so good.
(Well, I guess I'm confused about how you derive this power from this unconditional love.)
Power comes from within-from this here [X], not from conditions on the outside. We ordinarily think circumstances determines power--that's another one of those like "cause and effect" and so forth. Power comes from here [X].
Let's say that we took a piece of potato and cut it up with three little eyes on each piece, and planted it in the ground. You've seen that done, haven't you? Potatoes grew didn't they? Where'd the power come from? I don't know what it is, but we call it X, and we say Life--is that all right. And if there was no Life in that potato, what happens to it?--nothing-it just lies there and rots, is that right?--so does everything else. So if you go out and take a branch off of a dead tree, put it in the ground; water it, put fertilizer on it; and do all sorts of things--do you think it will grow? But if you take one off of a living three and put it in the ground; and water it; and the sun is on it about the right time of year; and you're liable to get a tree, is that right? You know I've worked around nursery people and it's surprising what they do. They pull a leaf off a tree; and they'll have that thing growing. You and I would probably kill the thing, but they get it growing.
So it works, but where does it come from. It has to be here, this [X] is where the power comes from, not from outside. You have all been conditioned that power comes from circumstances, and so we're struggled and struggled to control circumstances; and they sure are hard because about the time you get one circumstance straightened out, it bows out somewhere else, doesn't it?
(Would you give an example of how one might express personal power.)?
……….any one of a jillion ways. Whatever way you want to do it. Well, let's say you're in the business of selling, or trading. You might have a lot more activity going in your direction.
Some people work at working with other people that are having difficulties. So say that they would have more ability to-we'll call it healing for lack of a better word, ok? Somebody else is running a big business and they could get their business to work better. You have power. Power directs things--it doesn't necessarily control; but it sure does have fun directing. X does the appropriate thing for the information it receives. So if it [X] receives that Charlie over here is to blame, well it [X] says go ahead and blame him. Nothing happens. But if Charlie says, "Let's generate this activity.", why it [X] generates the activity.
You've seen some of our experiments where the only thing we used was a good mood to keep things going, is that right--and the "good mood" got it going.
(So responsibility goes with the power, right?)
You can't have one without the other-two sides of the same coin, and freedom also goes with it--SO FREE TO PERFORM.
You know most people aren't free to perform, they have to get permission from somebody before they can do anything.
(So you're assigning power over to that other person.)
Well, yes, you always assign power to other people. If I say you made me angry, I'm saying "you got an awful lot of power over me"; and I'll be darned if I'll let you have that. I'm not going to let you have that.
(That's a good point.)
Right. I'm not going to give you the authority to make me angry. If I'm going to get ticked off, I'm going to do it on my own.
(Laughter from the audience)
I'm not going to let you have the authority to do it. Good Lord. If I'm going to be ticked, I'm going to do it myself, huh?
I don't see any reason to; but if I'm going to, I'm going to do it myself--I'm not going to give you the authority to annoy me.
(That's a good one.)
And everyday I see people giving other people the authority to annoy them.
I go in a restaurant every once in a while and sit down and light a cigarette and have a cup of coffee; and it's surprising how many people I annoy by doing that. They come over and say all sorts of nasty things to me; and I thank them and give them a greeting and then offer them a cigarette. I say, "Sit down and have one with me--it might be fun". "You know, you can't ever tell". They get along a little easier sometimes; but mostly they rush off, and they give me great authority over them. I don't want it, but they give me the authority to annoy them. Now I'm not going to give anybody the authority to annoy me, ok?
Next question, comment? Mary?
(By saying the conditions that we put on..)
…………….on seeing they have infantile behavior, ok?
(That we can see more accurately.)
We see that everybody's doing about the appropriate thing for what they can do. So if I'm not going to set all these little conditions up here, then I'm pretty peaceful, ok?
(And then the energy flows.)
Well, you can report accurately. It's not gong to flow unless you direct it-you determine accurately. You can't report accurately when you're complaining, sticking up for your rights, blaming and all this stuff. So then, I can get rid of all that foolishness and now then I can report accurately.
(So X can make the appropriate response.)
It always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives, but if it receives erroneous information, it will act as though that's true, and that's why we have so much chaos running around, ok? Does that help you see, Mary? You can report accurately when you are not looking at things through a big lot of fuzz of conditioning that you have to defend.
(So the trick is to know when we are fuzzy, and when we aren't.)
Well, that's no trick; it's pretty easy to see when you're doing it. It's pretty easy to see when you are blaming. It all winds down to that in the last analysis, it all winds down to blaming in its ultimate end. So you can see whether you're blaming somebody for situations, is that right?
I've seen people blame the stove because the cake burned. Haven't you? Did you ever do that?
That's what I thought. What good did it do? It didn't scrape the bottom of the cake off. But you blamed the stove for burning your cake. Have you ever done that?
Just wish I had one that would work properly. If I had a husband that was worth his weight in salt, he'd get me one of those. By the time we get through it, we got twenty things blamed, is that right? Not just the cake pan, ok?
(I was lazy.)
… and go out and get me a decent stove, then I wouldn't have all this difficulty. So we give the stove the authority to annoy us. We give the "old man" the authority to annoy us. So we got really torn up and probably have a divorce over it, who knows. Ok, next question.
(While you were talking, I visualized that story of the blind men--that each one was near a different part of the elephant, and each described it differently.)
That's about right.
(….Each blind man was describing what the elephant was like from his perspective of touching only one part on the elephant. So "cause and effect" is like that. It's part of our trap. We are deciding with what's right in front of us that things are in a particular way and not seeing the whole picture. Isn't that where the judgments of it come?)
Well, that's one of them.
(We don't see the whole picture.)
Yes, and you sure don't see the future, so how are you gonna say something is "bad" or "good" without knowing how it's going be five years from now.
(You know something beautiful.)
Well, I said how do you know that's not going to destroy you in a few months, you know. Some of the prettiest things in the world are slightly dangerous, I've noticed.
(Laughter from the audience.)
I've been around here looking at pretty women quite a while, until I know what goes on, ok?
Right. John got it, that's what's to blame-it's those pretty girls there, right John? If it wasn't for them, you'd probably be still looking like you were less than 60 years old.
(Well, it's the kind of work I do.)
Yes, and a few minutes was worth it.
(Let's consider the cake. So what shall we do with it--shall we say, "What the hell.")
Oh, I just scrape the bottom off and cover it up with icing; and nobody will ever know it was burned. I know how to cover up a multitude of things.
(What kind of a mental process are we going to go through here to alleviate this?)
Let's say--pay attention for a while. Let's say pay attention to see that nothing nor nobody's to blame. We don't pay attention. We blame mechanically. If I go ask somebody, have you blamed anybody recently, they say, "Oh no, I haven't seen that in quite a while," and if I follow them around all day--that's all they're doing. So most of it is unconscious.
So the first thing out, I would say, sir, is that we begin to pay attention--and that is easy. I will say it another way-it's simple, but it's not easy.
Have you visited with somebody recently that has been on a trip to a foreign land somewhere, and they had such a wonderful time. They found all kinds of delightful things about this foreign port they had been in, right? You know what?--they were paying attention. You go down the street, but you live here, you-so you don't see anything? We don't see all that pretty stuff; but somebody comes here that hasn't been around, they see palm trees. You probably haven't seen the palm trees on your street in years. They're still sitting there, but you never see one of the darn things--you just go on.
(How do you generate this interest?)
I don't generate it; I only think that I see the necessity of it. You see, when I see the necessity of anything, I get the power to get with it. When we increase our necessity; or somebody or something else increased my necessity; I begin to pay attention.
Did you ever drive in a country where you drive on the left-hand side of the road instead of the right? Was your necessity increased?
Ok, does that answer your question?
(No, it really didn't answer my question because you didn't tell me how I can go about increasing the necessity.)
Well, it's going to be there--if you pay attention.
(It will be increased for me.)
You increased it on your own--you started driving in it. If you didn't drive in that left-hand traffic, you don't increase your necessity. Ok, What was your motivation? You wanted to drive in that traffic so you could see new things, is that right?
(I want to live.)
Ok, that's what keeps me motivated all the time.
I like living, and I know "good and well" if I don't get motivated to pay attention, I won't be around very long--and I like it here. I'm better acquainted here than anywhere I can think of, and I want to stay here. I love all these beautiful people, and I like being here.
John and I used to work together believe it or not; and we had a bunch of instruments called meat saws--they're big ban saws. You've probably seen them-Butcher Boy and a few others with funny names on them. They run at very high speeds; and you can take a side of beef and go zap--and it whacks it in two like that. So every once in a while somebody comes to me and says, "How can I keep attention?" I'd say come with me. I'd take them back in that room where those big machines were and pick up an old bone out of the barrel and say, "Let's slice this up in one inch pieces here." I'd show him how it worked; and then I asked him if he can quit paying attention while he's got that bone in his hand and that power running there. So if you see it's a matter of life and death, you're motivated, is that right?
And this, too, is a matter of life and death. If you don't pay attention, you're going deteriorate, fall apart at the seams, old and decrepit and dead in a very short length of time. If you see the necessity of it, you're liable to be around for a long time. Are you ready to start paying attention? So I'm motivated from a "matter of life and death"; and that's what motivates me. Money doesn't motivate me a lot--prestige doesn't motivate me very well--approval and disapproval doesn't motivate me very well, but boy staying alive does. Ok? And that, to me, is the motivator--I see it as a matter of life and death. If you don't ever see it as a matter of life and death, I don't guess you'll be motivated very much.
(There are some non-threatening things that you do that doesn't seem to affect…...)
Oh some of those most non-threatening situations are the most dangerous ones. Some of those "seemingly non-threatening" are the most dangerous ones. So, I guess I'll pay attention all the time if it's all right with everybody; and if it's not, I'm going to anyway.
(Well, that's great if you learn how to do it.)
Well, you don't have to learn; you just see you're going to. You already know how to pay attention because you did when you got over there and got in that driving down the left-hand side of the road when you're used to driving on the right, is that right? You paid attention.
(Well, yes, you "have to" establish with motivation.)
Well, you are the motive, I've got the motive established-it's life and death to me; and that's my motive, ok? Maybe you don't see it as having any danger; so go right on--it will bump you one day--go right ahead.
(You gave me a thought there. I think you and I better stay alive as long as we can because I'm not too sure where we're going.)
That's for sure and certain. I doubt they have a place fit for you or me. I don't think they laid one of those out. The good people have a place to go, and the bad people have a place to go; but people like you and me don't have anywhere to go. So we're liable to be out there just wandering around in nowhere. I wouldn't like that.
(Remember that story you told that time. You said, "Well, wherever you're going, I don't what to go there.")
Yes, he was going to run the world as soon as the big flood hit California and knocked it into the ocean. I said, "Let's get on our way to somewhere else-now--if you think you're going to be running the world." I'd rather be anywhere than here. Ok. Next question.
(I'd like to hear a bit about the stress cycle, the physical.)
You got a mirror?
Ok. It'll show you. Just be in conflict all night and get up and look in the mirror the next morning.
Ever done that?
How'd it look?
You don't need a talk on it, you have the actual experience, is that right?
(Ok, what I was relating to is there might be some people here that haven't heard about the chemical.)
Oh, I'm quite sure there's people here that haven't, but we'll do it another time. See, we want to leave something undone so they'll come back another time, honey. Have you read a continued story once? You remember about that girl? The guy she married killed his wives the next morning after the wedding because he wanted to be sure they'd always be faithful to him. You hear about her?
(No, I didn't hear the story.)
Well, you go down to the bookstore and you buy the book called "1001 Nights" or "The Arabian Nights". She told him a story every night, but she always cut that story off with a cliff hanger come daylight so there'd be something to tell the next night because she liked to keep her head on her shoulders; and you know, she managed by just telling stories.
(I remember it well.)
It's a wonderful story to read. I have one that's nine volumes long, and it says the story is still going. The last one says there's another one coming in the morning. She gratified it every day; but she also started it over again. She always gratified it every night, finishing the story that she'd started--but cut off the night before--so she got that finished with a great gratification--but she left time to start another one that needed another night to finish, ok? So she did both, she gratified all wishes; but kept them going.
Another question, comment? Suppose we make a tentative arrangement to be here next Saturday afternoon. We'd be happy to have you.