Excerpts - My Inner Feeling
Excerpt from a portion of a Maryland Workshop 12/78*
(*Audience participation is in parentheses--notations in brackets have been added for clarification )
The tape is discussing a movie with four-letter words as we join the discussion.
Dr Bob says, "If I don't like it, I get up and walk out."
(If you are contributing to a pleasant harmonious way of life, do you feel these words contribute to that?)
I'm going to contribute to a pleasant harmonious mood--and I said I can't make the whole one; and I have no reason that anybody else should. I'm just contributing to a pleasant harmonious mood. If somebody else is contributing something else, why I can't help that--my contribution is still going on. In other words, I can't say that I would be upset because somebody uses foul language, ok? I'm in charge of my inner feeling, not those words out there--because to me there just sounds, ok? It's there, I don't even bother with it--why bother with it, it don't have any affect on me. I know them all, so do you--they're not shocking me, I went out back of the barn and tried those when I was 7 or 8 years old. I got 'em all learned and then I went away and was through with them.
(Because probably we don't mind hearing them, we just don't want somebody else to hear the bad language.)
We'd be embarrassed. Well, that's possible; but I said, I'm not going to let somebody else's behavior or mood or even a not "i" determine my inner feeling. Now I experience my inner feeling. Isn’t that what you're experiencing right now is your inner feeling?
(We particularly don’t the children to hear those words.)
I know children. Kids all got to try 'em out. No matter what or where, I'm not going to let some little kids behavior determine my inner feeling. This is one thing I am responsible for is my inner feeling. Now I cannot choose what I will sense. We have senses out here--we hear, we smell, we taste. I cannot determine that entirely, because then I would have to control everybody in the world and nature and I'd have to take over; and I don't want to be bothered with it, huh? It doesn't matter what I sense, does it to you? You got a sensing organism here and it's nice to sense that and so on down the line. But I cannot choose what I'm going to sense. I'll hear sounds that I'll have no control of--I can't prevent sirens up and down the street. I can't help if somebody blows a whistle, or plays piano real loud. But I am in charge of my inner feeling. And that's the one thing I experience, the other I just sense anyway. I sense people using four-letter words, ok?
(There are people close to you, though, and you know there's a certain violent mood that's created by that. Can you be so detached as to ignore such things?)
I can, I don't know about anybody else. I don't see any reason to let anything, any person, or a not "I" or a circumstance be in charge of my inner feeling. I think that's the one thing I'm responsible for, and I determined a long time ago that I was going to feel serene, or delightful or thankful or something inside--I kind of vary it around according to the day--and I've been taking charge of that. Now I can't lay that on you and say, "Well you did something wrong and my inner feeling went to hell."
(When you are dealing with children, you feel a responsibility, to make a good input.)
Yes, you can make an input, you can give a "for instance" or set an example in front of them all the time, ok. But they are also with their peers; and I'll tell you, they're going to get a lot more input from their peers than they are from you. They're going to accept more, ok? I know that. But you can present an example and keep on with it--but you cannot control.
Now you are not responsible for children. Responsible is what you are for yourself. You have a duty to set an example for the kids, ok? To use whatever things you can. You can present an example of not using such words, ok?
You cannot be responsible. You cannot tell what the kid is going to accept? You can't do that, can you? You cannot eat for one of them. You can't drink a glass of water for them, that right? You can't study for them?
(Shouldn't they be the ones that take the..........)
Well, that's totally immaterial. I'm just talking about that which I can do with the least bother. I'm interested in my own ease; and so it's much easier to get up and leave than to run any people off. You are not responsible for your children. You cannot think for them, eat for them, study for them, go to school for them, choose what they're going to be interested in. You have a duty, because you birthed them--to see that they have food, clothing, shelter and transportation and opportunity for education until they're 18 years old.
(What do you think of the approach of telling them, you don't approve of that and you don't want to hear it; but if they do it on their own and do it somewhere else.)
You say that it's offensive to me, but if you want to go out back of the house and practice on four-letter words, have at it; but they still might forget and use them in the house.
(Would that take away the desire to do it.)
Anything that's forbidden, we want.
(But that's an attention getter too.)
Naturally. People use four-letter words because they're around it: and they don't even know they're using it. They're around it all day with a bunch of kids they are with at school or play. Pretty soon it's just there. We complain and don't even know we're complaining. If I work in different parts of the the country and I know that if I stay in the south for a while, the southern accent gets very pronounced. If I go up in Boston pretty soon I put the a's on the ends of words or r's on the ends of words that end in a--like Floridar, and Georgiar--all that stuff. It just tends to pop out. You can't help it. It's not because the kid is being obnoxious or anything, it's just they're around it. They're around their peers more than they're around you--and they're going to accept more from their peers than they are from you.
(Don't you think there's an aggressive or violent aspect to it that's harmful--if it becomes a habit?)
Oh, it's a habit. I know some sweet little girls that use every four-letter word and a bunch of others that aren't four letters, and they never harm anybody. They don't even know what they're doing. I don't pay any attention to it. I'm not going to let a sound disturb my inner feeling because that's one thing I'm responsible for. If I feel nice and serene within me, I can handle about any situation that arises. I would recommend that you take charge of your own inner feeling--then you can handle all those situations.
If you depend on circumstances to determine your inner feeling, you're gonna be aggravated an awful lot of the time--that correct? And you've been allowing circumstance to determine your inner feeling. This is one of the lies of the not "i's"--that circumstances determine my inner feeling. The not i is in there finding fault with the environment that I happen to be in. Take charge of your own inner feeling and you will see that you can be serene. The more serene you are, the more it becomes contagious around you.
(If you find yourself responding to someone else's not 'i's with anger; and you decide you don't want to develop that state of being, then what can you say to yourself?)
I've been asleep and lettin' the not 'i's take over. I "wake up" and kick 'em out. I used to live out in the country when I was a kid and sometimes you come home and the chickens got in the kitchen. Well, you run 'em out and shut the door. With the thought process, you run these intruders [the not "I’s] outta of there and shut the door.
(The person doesn't stop.)
Oh well, they will get to feeling that you're not very delightful company. The not i likes to talk to not 'i's; and it doesn't care much about talking to humans. If you start acting human or being human for a few minutes, they won't want to talk to you.
The book says "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF", it never said love him more, dear.
In the first place, most of us don't love ourselves. We have let a not 'i' tell us we're no good. If we don't like ourselves, then we can't like other people. So the first person you want to love is you. Don't accept any derogatory statements about you from within or from without as being true--and then you can easily not accept any derogatory statements about anybody else from within or without as not being true. But you got to start with Number 1, ok?
Any other questions.