Exercises - Getting rid of not "I's" (See NEW addition to this page below!)
Excerpt from Daytona Workshop 5/24/80*
(*Audience participation is in parentheses--notations in brackets have been added for clarification )
The following material is new for this section.
Excerpt Newport Beach Workshop second side #3 & 4
[Brackets for clarification, audience participation in parenthesis)
[My teacher went into some details about the not "i's" on this workshop You will notice that there are quotations around many of the words. This is to help remind you that not "i's" are separate from the real you. I put "they" or "them" in quotes so that you don't confuse "them" with the real you and will know that it is just bits of conditioning from within that are trying to get your attention and take you on a trip of misery. We join the workshop as he explains that not "i's" are little thoughts...............Marsha]
Not "i's" are all these little "thoughts" that go through people's heads that we all treat as though "they" were psychics or fortune tellers. Now I think we'll just call them "fortune tellers" cause "they" tell you "they" know everything that's going to happen in the future; and "they" always have it as being very lousy. Did you ever notice that?
Now "they" wait until the appropriate moment to "work on you". "They" preferably find you tired, or "they" find you a little sleepy, or "they" find you very busy where you are not watching things too closely; and then "they" come in with "their" little "suggestion" like you might hear in your head, "You are not entitled to this". There are two little things with not "i's".
The first thing to remember is everything they say is derogatory about you, another or circumstances. Now that's easy to remember and that's one part.
The second part is they always lie.
So now if you were around someone or some people who never said anything unless it was derogatory about you or another and that everything "they" said was a lie, would you pay much attention to "them?"
You would. You do it all the time. Now you know "they" never tell the truth, "they're" always trying to kid you; and "they" always tell you something derogatory about you or another or about circumstances. Would you buy it?
We all have. Let's change it a little bit. If you had yourself your favorite fortune teller; and you went to them and the only thing they ever told you was derogatory things, and none of it ever worked out; how long would you keep supporting "them?" Try that one on for size. Most of us at one time or another have consorted with a physic, huh? We've asked questions because we wanted to know the future and what was going to happen. Have you ever been to one?
(Don't they sometimes tell people things they think they would like to hear and that paralyzes them?)
Now those are the living, walking, fortune tellers. We got the ones that are inside our heads. "They" don't even bother to give you the good news once in a while. You see, most of the ones you pay money to, tell you a few good things. But I said, suppose every time you went to one, they told you something derogatory about you, or another or circumstances and they always lied, would you keep going and buying their services?
Now we all have some first class ones inside a whole slew of "them". "They" appear to have a pipeline inside your head. So "they" tell you all sorts of horrible, derogatory things about you or another. Now sometimes it's very subtle, "they" don't get real carried away with it until after "they" got you really listening. So "they" start with things that tell you that something's not going to work--somebody around you is very lousy. All these different things, right?--now this is the operation of control. "They" take charge of everybody around. "Their" whole idea is to make you feel miserable because "their" food to keep getting stronger and stronger comes through your "human misery". Your misery is not i's food. It makes them stronger and stronger. That's what "they" live on. If "they" can make you get anxious "they've" had a meal. "They" start on you early in the morning when you first get up and look out your window and "they" say, "I'm not entitled to all this", or "You're not entitled to all this Marilyn". Then you can feel miserable and "they" have a nice breakfast--not just a continental breakfast. "They" have a grapefruit and a couple of poached eggs, two English muffins and some orange marmalade, and four or five cups of coffee at your expense, OK?
And then "they" let you alone after "they've" gotten you up and on the ball to feeling miserable. Long about 10:00 a.m., "they'd" like a little snack so "they" are at you, "This won't work", or "So and so's gonna come in and that'll make things bad", or "The kids are in trouble". And so "they" get their mid-morning snack.
At lunch time,"they" come in with a derogatory goodie, and "they" get a very nice lunch. At 3:00 pm or 4:00 pm in the afternoon tea "they" come in with another derogatory goodie or suggestion to make you feel miserable. At 6:00 pm or 7:00 pm in the evening "they" have dinner--everything--steak, potato, salad three or four vegetables--all kinds of fancy sauces at your expense. And "they" settle down to an evening of beer drinking. "They" just keep bugging you with little derogatory things and telling dirty derogatory stories and drinking booze.
Now this is the way "they" live off of us. Now we can stop that any day. Now you cannot control "them" to keep "them" from telling you "their" bit. That you can't do. Because "they're" not you--so you don't have any control over "them". "They're" not really you, so you have no control over "them" to make "them" go away.
I talk to people all the time--the phone rings and people say, "What can I do to make them go away"--nothing--you can't see "them" to shoot "them". You can't hit 'em on the head with a stick--and I don't think it would hurt "them" anyway. But you can IGNORE them. If you had this theoretical "fortune teller" I was talking about a while ago--who always told you derogatory things about you, others and circumstances;--would you listen? Now all "they've" ever told you so far was a lie, so you wouldn't spend money going to "them", is that right? OK? So this is what we got. So we don't pay any attention to them. OK?
Now if you hear something derogatory about you, another or about circumstance, you ignore it. You put no value on it. Now if you don't put value on it, it's not yours. You can't keep all kinds of articles from being in the newspapers, and on radio and television. But only that which you pay any attention to has any affect--is that right?
So you can have no control over all this stuff in your head that is derogatory about you, or another or about circumstances. You can't control it to make it stop. You don't have the ability to do that; because they are, at this stage, independent of you.. It sounds so reasonable in the head; but if we verbalize it, it doesn't sound reasonable.
Did you ever try that--just talking all this derogatory stuff out loud--everything "they" said? Well, you do that, then you will see how funny it is. Now as long as it's inside your head and you haven't verbalized it, thoughts sound very reasonable. It's like an idea you get. You can make millions doing so and so. It sounds so perfect as long as it's running around in there. But when you start verbalizing it, it has holes everywhere. So if you would just verbalize, even in a room by yourself, everything the not 'i's are saying, you would see what holes it's got in it. OK? [I've found it to be to my advantage to verbalize (or what some would call venting) out of ear shot of others. When you verbalize in front of others, you wake up the not i's in them which can lead to a lot of contention, hard feelings and difficulty with everyday affairs. If you are with someone who is aware of what not i's are, you can preface your verbalization with a statement like: "Would you like to see how an anxious person acts." Hopefully both of you will be laughing shortly over how silly the not i is. You have brought them to the light and they don't like that--they disappear................Marsha]
The next thing you do is ignore "them". Now "they" get very persistent. Now, I'm well aware of that. "They" scream at you--"You're in great danger!". "They" pretend to be your guardian angels--and "they're" going to protect you--prepare you for the impending doom. "They're" not going to protect you, "they're" going to prepare you for it, huh? "They" lie!
So when we listen to "them", we get panicky, nervous, agitated, anxious or whatever, because we listen to "them". "They" have then conquered you. "They" have taken over your mental faculties and now are operating it. "They've" then taken away all your common sense. Now "they're" operating with all this derogatory jazz --this weird stuff "they're" suggesting to you.
What are some of the things that went through your heads today? What most wild thing have you heard today, Miss Ruth? Did "they" do a good number on you? Are "they" trying to make you feel a little anxious? Are "they" saying, "There you are off in Newport Beach at our workshop or somewhere else and not taking care of things at home". What did "they" say?
(.......just about wanting things.)
"They" say you want this, but you really couldn't stay with it long enough to get it. The not i is the one that says "You want it, but you won't get it". It always puts a "but" in the sentence.
(The not "i" is the whole thing.)
Oh sure, the whole bit. But if you really wanted something, you'd go get it, wouldn't you? If you really wanted something you wouldn't put the "but" in there. So "they" take charge of the human mind, and "they" wait for an appropriate moment when you're very tired, sleepy or you're just not feeling the best that moment, then "they" go to work on you.
(What about if you're anxious about something else?)
"They" already got you then. If "they've" got you anxious about one thing--"they" multiply. "They" want full control over you. The way "they" do it is to keep adding on. So if "they" can get you nervous, or anxious about one thing, "they" will build on the anxiety. So "they" start off with things like, "You are being mistreated". "Nobody appreciates you". "You shouldn't have this, you're not entitled to it". "You're getting old", and "You're doing this wrong", and "You're going to have a heart attack", and "What if you get cancer--you're the right age now". You name it, "they" can go with it. Now I don't have to go through 101 different things.
What do "they" work on you most Marilyn?
(I'm really so neat and so why do I have crud around me.)
If you are such a hot-shot wonderful person, how come you got all this junk around you, huh? Of course, if you really look, I don't know if it's junk or not? They're derogatory about everything. So "they" don't say, "Look, you're living in a fantastic home, you have a fantastic view, you're getting national recognition as a wine-maker". Not-a-one of "them" got up and said that!
(They did say that, then they went over.)
They said--BUT, you got a little "fly" in the ointment.
(Yeah, what about the "fly".)
Why did a "fly" even come in there? Well, "flies" are intelligent, they go to pretty stuff. They're smart. But you see the not 'i' says, "All right, you've got it made BUT. That cancels "You've got it made". And then "they" talked about the fly. (That's what we're working on now.) And you're buying it.
Let's quit buying it, OK? You are the luckiest lady in Northern California.
Even with the "fly" you're still the luckiest lady in California. Do you know how long it takes to get a "fly" out of the cold cream.
The "fly" is out just like that. Got a "fly" in your face cream, how long would you leave it in there?
(Not very long.)
They told me there wasn't any harm to find a worm in your apple. You only felt bad when you found a half a worm in the apple. So you're doing all right so far.
So when you look to see all the ointment you have around, now what kind of "fly" is in there and how long does it take to get it out. Besides the "fly" isn't in the ointment all the time.
So, most of the time you can just use it without the "fly". But you see "they" want to ruin everything because of one little nothing--a totally insignificant little nothing.
(But that "fly" has such tremendous effect.)
Well, that's what you accept. That's what you said, but "it' just flies. "They" really don't bother you if you just don't make an issue. If you make an issue then it gets very big.
So the not "i's" major occupation is to tell you that various and sundry insignificant things (which will pass away before too long anyway) are very very very important and very very very permanent. That the story?
(We've got this plant that's growing and this dog keeps coming and peeing and that burns the leaves. I don't like to have any......)
Well, pretty soon the dog will go away anyway.
(Well, that gets back to the time element.)
So remember one thing--this too, will pass away.
[The Not "i's" food]
"They" take all sorts of things and conquer us so that we are anxious. Now the only reason "they" do this is it's "their" food. Now do you want to feed the enemy?--it's the only enemy you have. Do you want to feed "them"and house "them"?
(I guess not.)
I guess not. Some people wouldn't make a flat statement no matter what happens. You want to feed "them"?
Quit! Now it's all that simple.
Now yesterday we talked about the fact that you could have any inner state that you wanted if you acted like you already had it. So if you act like you said--that you are the luckiest lady in Northern California--all the time, with the "fly" in or out of the ointment, you will feel fantastic. It really doesn't cause any difficulty, you might as well feel wonderful while "things" are around as well as when "they're not around".
I wanted to ask is there anybody that feels that there is something wrong with feeling fantastically wonderful at all times?
(I'm not saying that I always feel wonderful, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it.)
You don't think there is anything wrong with feeling fantastic and wonderful?
(I feel like I don't deserve anything.)
And you still feel that way?
(I can even remember days way back in the past when I heard, "Don't be too popular", "Don't have too many friends" Then last week it happened. Someone said, "Marilyn, look at you now, with the children." "I'll bet I'm going to have to raise them." So all that stuff still keeps going on.)
Do you buy it?
(I did a little bit--I did.)
Well, you bought it enough to kind of get you all tangled up.
But you see not "i's" also come out of other people's mouths as well as inside your head. They come from over there and over there. So you're gonna keep watch. Pay attention so that you don't buy these "pseudo psychic fortune-tellers" prognostications, ok?
(To illustrate that, yesterday we were talking about the wine, and I described a spanish dancer with big hips and bust. One of the gentlemen said, "Look at her lips--they are outlined." And I said, "Let me see." I took a sip of the wine and thought about what he had just said. I saw that suggestion had already come in. He said, "What are you doing?" I said I'm having to look past the suggestion you just gave me.)
To go on further and see what her ears look like. What kind of earrings did she have on.
(But doesn't it help to dig back and see where these authoritative figures came from.)
It is almost of no value, but if it aids you a bit, go ahead. You see, not "i's" are going to be in there anyway. The point is you probably have 20 times more; and so you could spend many years and dollars digging back to say "all this happened", but "they" still go on and talk--"they" don't care about your research..
The point is that you recognize them and say, "I'M GOING TO IGNORE YOU." I don't care where "you" came from. I don't care if I got "you" first from my mother, from the lady down the street, or from a peer kid that I was playing with who got it from his mother. It's second-handed anyway! So it doesn't matter. The point is that I recognize "their" nature. "They" are of a very simple nature--"they" always lie! "They" always say something derogatory about you or another or circumstance, ok? I ignore all that stuff, and then "they" don't get through to you. "They" try! "They" work! "They" might keep you awake all night kicking at you; and if "they" can't get you to listen one way, "they" might kick you in the solar plexus and make you have a belly ache for a while to see if "they" can get you down a little bit--and then "they'll" lay one on you.
Have you ever had "them" kinda kick you somewhere so that you felt a little physically rough; and then "they" get to you a little bit because our "resistance to listen to them" is a little low. If you're a day person "they" hit you first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. If you like to sleep at night, "they" hit you the last thing at night so "they" can keep you awake.
[Story of the lady who got fired]
The lady told me one time she had gotten fired through the day. She had not let "them" pick on her and tell her how lousy she was and what a failure she was. And just as she was dropping off to sleep, she heard "one" say to the other "She's going to sleep now, we can go to work on her!" And "they" did.
Now "they" really act this way. That's why in lots of literature there are lots of stories about "demons"and "imps" and all these things. "They" really are not. "They" are not entities, but "they" act like an entity; and "they" have only one purpose in mind, to make you miserable.
Now if I had that around, I think I'd bow my neck enough to say, "You're not going to do that." If I found out your sole purpose was to make me feel miserable, I'm going to cut you out. Ok? You're not going play that game on me.
How about that Phil? If you knew somebody's sole purpose in their existence was to make you feel miserable, Would you allow them to do it? Now we have that situation.
Now "they" might not get to you for three years if everything's going along pretty lovely. But if "they" catch just a rough spot someday--"they" are waiting. Now "they" have patience! "They" can wait, because "they" say we're going to get her sooner or later. Now you may go along for years and never hear any of that conflict stuff; but "they" are sitting and waiting. One day something will happen, and "they" get through to you. Now how about starting TODAY, that you will not accept as being true, anything that gets in your head that is derogatory about you, or another or circumstances.
(I'll go with #1-me, and #2-another, but I'm having trouble with #3-circumstances.)
Let's start not listening to that one either--circumstances. There's nothing derogatory about you, or another or about circumstances. Because as long as you allow circumstances to be blamed, there's nothing you can do. You get paralyzed in that department. You see, there's a bar against doing anything about anything when we have found something to blame for it.
So, if you still say circumstances has some blame--in other words, that's what the not "i's" are saying, that's what "they're" giving you--and if you buy that, then there's nothing you can do about it. You're hung up.
If, instead, you say "There's nothing to blame.", then you can see that...................
I can do SOMETHING about ANYTHING that occurs!
You can do something about anything which includes circumstances, other people or yourself, ok? So there's nothing, nor nobody to blame. Now that's where you have to start. Want to start there?
And so you don't listen to anything that offers derogatory ideas about you, or another or about circumstances, ok. Got that? And you're not buying it as being true.
(How can they sit and wait for three years?)
Well, "they're" just going along with you everywhere. "They're" assigned to your case, so "they" just wait until you do something. You get tired and then "they" begin to talk to you. Say you're feeling fine, everything's going along all right--kids are behaving, work's going along smoothly, you don't hear any of "them." But "they" wait until someday that you're sick, or one of the kids are out late at night, (and you don't know where they are), and "they" got you a little agitated; and so then "they" go to work. "They" can wait for years, honey. "They're" just stored in there. "They" are recordings, no doubt, in our brains, and "they're" triggered to act independently anymore. "They're" just stored there, and so they wait. So you'll never be entirely free of "them", but you can be where you're free to hear them "rattle" and put no value on them, ok. So you always remember one thing. "They" say something derogatory about you, or another, or circumstances and they are always lies.
(You were saying a little while ago that "they" thrive on human misery. Now "they're" there for three years and "they" don't pop up. "They" must be getting pretty hungry.)
"They" are and "they're" sure waiting.
(Are they getting pretty weak as well?)
Yeah, "they" sound a little weak to start with, but let "them" have one good dinner and "they" recuperate. OK? Yeah, "they" get a little weak. In other words, we'll say you go along and don't bother to feel guilty for a while. Then you do something and the guilt is there a little bit--then "they" can find 100 things for you to feel guilty about. "They" start really picking. And "they" begin to threaten you with all sorts of things--and it can go on and on. "They" can get a little weak, but I've never known "one" to die. I think "they" can hibernate quite well.
"They" go dormant, but "they're" waiting and watching; and "they're" going to reactivate the minute "they" can get you to pay the least bit of attention to what "they're" doing.
(I guess if I can't get rid of "them", I'd just as soon keep 'em dormant.)
Right! So let's keep them dormant--that's the easiest thing. So if you don't feed "them", "they" do get dormant.
(Is it possible that "they're" so clever with me that "they're" there and I don't even know that "they" are doing it?)
No, I think everything is going along real well for you Charles, and "they're" waiting and "they" are very patient. "They're" just waiting Charles. You'll know about it when "they're" working on you--you'll be miserable. I've managed to go along a long time sometimes and never hear from "one". And then some little something happens and "they" come up with the "same old tired story" again. "They" come by and talk to you. "They" say, "Remember us, we used to go around with you all the time."
(I find when I'm tired.....)
That's the time for "them" to start.....
(John, my husband, will say, "What are you looking at?", and I'll say, "I'm gone." "There is something in me that has gone to sleep--I better go to bed. Sometimes I'll say, "There is "something in me" that's going to start complaining and........")
Yes, "they" tell you that you need physical sleep, but, you see, "they" also tell you that you should work real hard and keep lots of activity going so you will get tired--because "they" know "they" can get to you then. "They" are really playing a double "whammie" on you. "They" won't let you rest, because you should be busy; and then when "they" get you real tired, "they" can really pull out the big guns. So are you're going to let 'em keep that up?
(I'm going to go home and rest!)
([.couldn't hear first of statement].....feed 200 cows. That got to me. What was that situation? I think "it ought to be different.")
Naturally, but it's not. So what you do is form two corporations, and each one owns a hundred cows. One guy can own two corporations, five corporations--simple.
It is as simple as that. But you see we want to complicate it and say it's very difficult and hard. Well that may be true, but (that cancelled that) then "they" start in with their junk again. "They" tell you it's impossible--it'll take years and years and probably never happen; and besides, by that time you'll be too old to enjoy it anyway and so why bother. So "they'll" convince you to do nothing about it.
Now that is one of "their" better chores to convince us to do nothing; but "they" also do it to everybody else in here. "They" continually say derogatory things about all this stuff I'm talking about. "They" say, Well, that sounds all right; but (They" now got rid of that idea by stating it.), and then "they'll" go on with this derogatory stuff like: "It couldn't work", and besides that, it's too damn simple.
"They" will convince most people in the world not to do a thing in the world about the ideas we are talking about. And "they" will go on and say "I tried." "I'm trying." Yes, very .................. Ok. Got it now.
[My teacher often said that six or seven months is a gracious plenty to study not "i's" which is called "self-knowing". After that we can use self-remembering which is asking the questions:
What Am I? Where Am I? What's Going On Here? What Can I Do?
And if we don't find a new purpose of living, he even gave us one to experiment with:
Keep the mood up and don't make anything important. .....Marsha]
[FROM DC WORKSHOP 3-18-78]
......last side of tape 1
You see that we create "by our effort to be non-disturbed", a tremendous amount of disturbance. Now if I was perfectly free to have a few challenges, wonder if anything would bother me?
There'd be challenges, but I wouldn't get all upset inside. As long as "it's" got to be "ideal", and everything "should be" a certain way--then everything and everybody bugs you, don't they?
So now we're not suggesting that anyone do anything at the moment. We are suggesting only that we be aware that there is programming in us which will talk. It actually says words and runs on and on--the programming generates thoughts. Whenever there is something out here that's disturbing--anything I don't like whatever it may be, it sets off these not "i's".
There's nothing wrong with "them" (not i's), "they're" doing exactly the appropriate thing for what "they" were designed for. We made "them", put "them in there", and "they" are necessary if we are going to be able to function. They are good for every day chores and things. You decided where you live, and you go there without any problem. Suppose you had to learn where you live every time you came home from the store.
You have learned "how to do" a thousand tasks by just thinking of it--typewriters--telephones--computers--run all kinds of gadgets. All those are the same sort of thing as this. You came to a conclusion as to how it worked and now it's spontaneous.
So you couldn't exist without these. There's nothing wrong with this principle, and that it's there. The only thing is that we put it there for a child; and we're no longer little children any more. So, this brings up the idea to use of a reevaluation of one's truth. One's truth is what you live by regardless of how many words you utilize. Truth to you and me is what we live by. No matter what we say, it might be the truth; but (it still comes back to what we live by) it might be the right time for us to reevaluate
……[some words missing]..privileges, I just love them. I want to maintain them and enhance them and get more. So then we could re-evaluate a little bit about "sticking up for rights", and about "complaining". We could possibly re-evaluate about "pleasing everybody" because I’m afraid not to.
Now that’s really the only reason we do that is because “I was afraid not to please them.” I didn’t want to please them; but I felt if didn’t, something terrible would happen, is that right? Now if I’m not trying to please you and not trying to have "my way", I can communicate with you and we get along pretty good.
So again re-evaluation of our truth is in order now and then. Now by the same token we don’t have to "depend on an authority". Our ancestors lived in a small little tight community, and so we were taught "what was right" and "what was wrong?" Kids would know "what’s right" and "what’s wrong" because everybody was taught it. But now with the tremendous interplay of cultures, there’s no way to come up with that "right and wrong" again, I don’t think--unless we blow it up and start all over again; and I don’t want to do that.
And obviously, you don’t need to be "different" because you’re still going to be you, and you’re still going to be you, and I’m going to be me.. We’re all unique works of art and would not need to be different—but we could live by a different truth, couldn’t we? What you live by is your truth--your treasure. We, basically, have not even checked up on it. We haven’t even thought about it—we haven’t been aware of it [the truth we live by] most of the time. I could possibly change that in a short order by just looking.
And obviously "nothing nor nobody is to blame". That even includes me. My parents aren’t to blame, society’s not to blame, I’m not to blame—nothing nor nobody is to blame. WE WERE ALL STUMBLING AROUND IN THE DARK!
It’s very much like playing pin the tail on the donkey—you have all the players blindfolded. All
are holding the tail and the long pin. They're then put them in a tight room. How would that go? How would you like to put that show on in the next day or two.
(I think it’d be fun to watch.)
It is fun to watch, and it’s basically what we’re watching when we go out and look at the world everyday, because the one who does the poking, gritches and complains at those other people for getting in his way and keeping him from getting the prize. The one that gets poked blame the poker for poking her and keeping her from getting the prize. So it may be fun to watch, but I'd rather watch the game than be an unconscious player.
So we could re-evaluate these--not saying any of them are right or wrong; but at least they are what I live by. If we check up just a little bit, we might see that "that’s what we're living by."--without condemning it or justifying it in any way. Any condemning or justifying is going up here and trying to establish "blame". There’s nothing "wrong" nor nothing "right" about--it just may be out of date.
One of the restaurants we operate has a big suit of armor, which we keep for curiosity purposes. I could put that on and go trompin’ around town in it. I would be very "out of date" and that is about how much out of date it would be to be running around with old truth’s. You would probably laugh to see someone coming down the street with a suit of armor on, wouldn’t you?
(I’d be kind of curious.)
And if he insisted on wearing it in the restaurants for dinner, and lunch, and going to work with it on, you’d think he was a little bit eccentric if he has enough money.
Now if we go around with these kinds of things [old truths learned as a child], aren’t they as much out of date as me running around with a suit of armor on? We’re not saying that the person "should", or "ought to" change these; we’re merely saying that we could re-evaluate them. We are saying that in all probability they were the most workable thing we could have used when we were little kids.
But when you were a little kid, it was in order for someone to tell you not to cross the street. They better not try it today! It was in order for folks to tell us to come in when the sun went down; but they better not try it on us today! We're grown up now. Now why should we have any of it going un re-evaluated. We’re not saying that IF after you get through re-evaluating, you feel that every one of those (six methods of seeking non-disturbance) is the best possible use of your time and energy that you can come up with today, have fun. I’m not saying they’re wrong. I’m just saying we possibly have never re-evaluated.
The study of the teaching material comes out and says this is included under self-knowing. Now there are two aspects or broad degrees of teaching: Self Knowing and the other aspect is Self-Remembering. Now one can’t have self remembering without first having self knowing. It is the first aspect of the study. As we study it, self knowing is not to condemn ourselves, justify ourselves, find fault with ourselves or anybody else. It’s just to see what is. That makes it extremely simple.
Now we find some people that will study for years; but every time they hear something that "makes me look like a child", they condemn themselves. Well, nothing much happens. But we also find some people that can work a very few hours with some very good material and come up as a total transformed individual.
So how about all of us liking ourselves enough that we don’t find any fault with ourselves. How about you?
We’re merely looking at a bunch of scientific material laid out that happens to be about human beings, ok?
When we get through with it, I think that you will find you can approach it purely objectively-- see that nothing is "right or wrong" and begin to "feel all terrible about it" and add "regret over ever having been that way". Let's simply see that this is the way it is, as objectively as we would look at a piece of paper with a line drawn on it.
I think you will find that what has been referred to through the ages as transformation--which is considered to belong only to the extremely elite--that can happen to each of us just as easily as if we’re a part of the elite. And possibly we are elite because we have material available to us that very few people do. I think that makes us very elite.
That makes me very lucky. That makes me possibly one of the luckiest people in the world. I think so any way. I have material I can work with without having any condemning of me--without justifying me--without any fault--without trying to make me over--without trying to be different. It's just merely to be able to see that I can check up on those things that have been made true through the years. And by only looking at that, everything undergoes a decided transformation. That looks awful simple, doesn’t it?
All below is old material for this section.
[We join the workshop as a question is being asked.]
(Sometimes the not "I's" get in there and they suggest something.)
They always do, not sometimes.
(Then the emotions take over.)
You identified with them. It was you doing the thinking, not the not "i."
(Then I say, "Ok, I can be in charge." But then something is still going on in my body.)
You still got it all torn up. Once you got all the conflict, you're all filled with adrenaline, thyroxin, pituitary extract, insulin and a whole bunch of other things--and a big charge of glycogen out of the liver. So it will take it several hours to calm down. It only takes you a split second to get it there. It takes a while to get it out.
(Even though I'm seeing……..)
Oh yeah, even though you're seeing it after the fact. You see if you go out here and walk in front of a Peterbuilt truck, and it runs over you, it only took you a split second to have it happen, but it takes you a long time to get over it.
So every time we allow ourselves the luxury of being all emotionally torn up, it's like walking in front of a Peterbuilt. The point is--don't get into it. It takes a little time to repair, you've been run over.
(It's really kind of funny, though, when you observe them playing against each other.)
Let "them" have fun, you sit back and watch. That doesn't hurt you. Let "them" fight.
(When they're doing that, you're still working in this life and there are decisions that need to be made at any particular moment.)
Well, what do "they" have to do with my decisions of what I'm going to do? Now I don't know whether I did the right thing by coming all the way from California down here to talk to you or not; but I decided that that was what I was going to do, so I'm here. I don't know whether it’s the "right" thing. I might have been wandering around the streets out there and picked up a few mil. I don't know. I haven't the foggiest idea of what would have happened. So what difference does it make.
(What about consequences?)
You're gonna have them. You are a big girl now, you can have them. You're gonna have them anyway. there's a consequence to doing it and there's a consequence to not doing it, isn't that about correct? Either way, what's the difference. A little not "I" says that if you do a certain something, things will be a lot better. It tells you if you do nothing there won't be any consequences; but there's even a consequence to doing nothing.
There are a whole bunch of other consequences--starvation for one. There are all kinds of consequences. So there's always consequences. You're not going to escape those either. But some consequences you like and some you don't. You're hind sight is 20/20. Your foresight is probably 0/90, so you just blindly go on. You get as much data as you can, say that's it, and go from there. There is always a little chance. Nobody guaranteed us safe.
(Sometimes when I go to the movies I feel awful afterwards, what's happening with that?)
Well, you're allowing yourself to feel awful because you're identifying, instead of with the not "I's" in you , you're identifying with the not "I" that the movie maker had--it's their not "I's". It's just some pictures on the wall. No use getting identified with that guy's stuff.
(So you're saying if I see it I won't get……)
Well, if you see that you go down to the movies--I'm going to look at somebody's imagination, and there isn't a thing happening--it is purely illusion. There isn't any some poor soul being left out; it's just a gothic novel. Then you'd sit there an laugh about it. I don't go to movies because I found out what the "joke" is. Why should I go down there and spend money to look at colored pictures. If I was going to get involved in them--I'd make 'em.
[after the break]
Let's talk about a few things so we can clarify so that the not "I's" don’t take what we said in the last hour or so and make a problem out of it. Now, they're very good at taking any teaching idea you get and using it to beat you over the head with. They're very good at it. They know exactly how to go about it. So let's try to box them off just a little bit before they get to you. We'll head them off at the pass if at all possible.
One of the things that they do is set up an "ideal." Now about everything starts with an "ideal". Now let's don't get a misconception about what an "ideal"is. An "ideal" is the way things "ought to be", "should be", or "have to be" or "must be." We talked this morning about not letting a not "I" run your affairs--take over, that you could ignore them.
Well sometime you won't ignore them, and one of them will jump up and say, "You didn't ignore that one."--so therefore you're a dirty bum. So don't let them get by with that. They'll do it. They're very expert at it.
The way they use an "ideal" is to make an expectation out of it. So they will tell you that starting at this moment, that you should expect to never even hear one of them again. Now remember, we said you'd never get rid of them--they'll be around. But somebody will have a not "I" that will jump up and say, "You should never let any one of us talk anymore." Now they're going to, and you may decide several other things. The "self improver" jumps up there and says, "You should never have let anything like this happen."
So when you have an expectation based on any "ideal"--any "ideal"--and an "ideal" is what "should be," "ought to be," etc. I was talking to a lady in the office the other day and we were talking about "ought to be's," "should be's" and such; and she said, "Do you really mean that we "ought never" to have an "ought." It's almost impossible for people to talk without using these terms because we have been solid with them. Now there's nothing wrong with it again, but a not "I" will pick it up and beat you over the head with it--so let's try to stop them if we can.
So when you have an expectation based on an "ideal"--it doesn't matter what that expectation is--that's the way you expect it to be. It'll all work out just as nicely as can be as it is--you can always feel serene, once you decide without an "ideal". But sometime if you don't feel serene, dear, then you have missed seeing the "ideal," ok?
So when you set up an "ideal," there always comes a "disappointment." Now we could say sooner or later, but it's usually much sooner. Now what we're going to put here is how the human mind works.
What we put up here takes several minutes to talk about, but it happens in a split second. So first off you have some "ideal" set up that from now on you're going to be serene regardless of what anyone does. So you'll sooner or later be "disappointed" and when you're "disappointed," you feel "hurt." We really "should have" everything we expect.
A lady came by the other day and she had recently divorced one man and married another one. She divorced this one--I've known him for several years. She divorced him because he was always disappointing her. He did not buy her for birthdays what she expected. She had built up diamonds or cruises around the world and etc. He was going to come home one day and say, "We're going to do this for your birthday." Instead he went down to the store and bought her something, and it wasn't what she had expected. So she was horribly disappointed, she was hurt and her husband was the biggest dog you ever heard of--just a "no good." So she divorced him and got another one.
Do you know what? The new husband is doing the same thing! He doesn't know what's going on in her head either; and, of course, to her he's stingy. The other one wasn't. She's got troubles.
So when we feel "hurt," what happens next--instantaneously--we look for "blame." Now you know if we could just know what to "blame,' we'd be all right. Basically we call that knowing the cause of something. You probably never thought of that--finding the cause for something is a nice way to say that's what's to blame.
The airplane crashes up in Chicago and they're still trying to find out what's to "blame" for it. Now everything will be all right--all these people will get up and walk off if they can find what to "blame" it on. And of course, if another plane crashes they'll have to find what to "blame" for that one; but it won't be the same as it was for the first one.
So you look for "blame." Now blame is a bar against doing anything about anything. Once you find blame, all you can do is sit and blame. But if you said, "Well, here's something I can do something about." "I don't like the situation like it is, I'll go to work on it and build something up anyway." But if you found something to blame, all you can do is sit and blame--so that is a bar against doing anything about any situation is when you find what to blame. If it's the "old" man, what else can you do but sit there and blame him. You just sit there until he does different, that's all there is to it.
But you know we think we've really settled things if we found what to blame or the nice way to say it is: "What's the cause."
So when we look for blame, we generally find it.
If I find it was you, now I'm angry.
Once in a while I find it was me, now I feel guilty.
When I can't find what it was and I'm still wondering about it, now I have fear.
(If you know what is happening, it's a startle. Fear is when you think something is all bad and you don't know what it is. The world's coming to an end. What's it going to be like. Now you're fearful all the time. Do you know what a "world coming to an end" is? It sounds terrible, doesn't it. Did you ever notice that it does it every day. You're "world comes to an end" every day of the world. The world that was, is no longer.)
When you have been expecting things many times over and they don't happen which happens frequently, one gets a sense of insecurity.
Did you ever feel insecure?
(All the time.)
All of those together we put under the one general term of "stress." Now "stress' is when you were prepared for something and it didn't happen. You got all prepared to fight or run because of all these things you were blaming or fearing or angry about or insecure. So then you've mobilized a whole lot of energy in the body from all these emotions. We call these emotions. All the others are feelings--things you like--feeling of joy, peace--you love everybody, every now and then. Anger, guilt, fear and insecurity are emotions; and man was never designed to have them. He's designed to have a challenge and respond to it. The other is an imaginary challenge and there isn't anything really there; so stress is chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension for the present time, place, and circumstance because they are inappropriate for now because there is nothing to be running from. Did you ever sit and feel fearful. All of us have. There isn't anything attacking you; if there was, you'd run and use up the mobilized energy.
Red Skelton played a role of the lying little boy saying, "There's a bear in the back yard." His mother scolds him for lying and he gets upset. He starts crying and she says, "What's the matter." He says, "I scared myself." So we can paint us quite a picture and scare ourselves, have tremendous chemistry built up to fight or run, but no fighting or running takes place; so we have chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension. That requires adaptation to burn it up. Those adaptations are all the symptoms we experience so much which brings about more fear, more energy charge and then begins the vicious cycle. They are sure profitable to the medical profession.
Then the "ideal" is if I spend a few dollars to the medical profession, I would expect that all the symptoms will be gone in a few minutes. All I got to do is go and get the proper diagnosis and the proper prescription and everything will be just fine in a few minutes.
It doesn't work that way, so again we feel hurt, look for blame and go through all the same cycle again and call the doctor a "quack" and sue him. Now doctors have to practice a system of "defensive medicine." That means tell you the worst possible diagnosis they can think of; cause then if you find out it was something else, you're better off. Meanwhile it scares you to death. Now you take every conceivable test known because the doctor might miss something if he didn't run all of tests. That will keep you from suing.
Now this all happens in a split second. It is interesting to watch it, slow it down and watch the process a little bit. One begins to discover that we're going around basing our expectations--not on a reasonable amount of data that we might have, but on expectation of an "ideal" always being around. The ideal is an illusion.
A great man said that the struggle towards an illusion is the total and only disintegrating factor. Now mankind as we can all see ages rather rapidly--60, 70 80 years, you're wiped out. Now he says all of that is due to the struggle towards an illusion. That is the only disintegrating factor. Now if we weren't struggling towards an illusion, an illusion, of course is what "ought to be", and we think that because I dreamed it up, that makes it so it would be there.
It would be as though one of our artist friends painted a picture and we felt, "I ought to be able to walk into it." Not many of them work that way. It is an illusion of three-dimension on a two dimension surface. You can't get your feet in there. But that is the illusion that we all put up. We struggle towards what "ought to be"; and of course with no effort on my part. I'm entitled to it simply because I was born.
The not I's will tell you all sorts of things that you should feel disappointed about. I've had people who have attended a talk or had a private appointment and felt they should never have another problem--but they go right on and make all the "ideals", so then they have one.
Now actually there is no such thing as a problem. There are challenges. If you car needs gas, that's no problem, just go to the station and get it filled up. You're hungry. That's no problem, go get something to eat. Somebody calls you dirty names, that's no problem. What difference does it make.
If we didn't know what "ought to be", we would never have a problem. And does any of us know what ought to be? Do you?
DeLand Workshop 4/8/89 [I think]
(It seems I'm not always successful at it; but it seems one way to deal with the not "I's" is to become vitally interested in something else.)
(It works almost instantaneously)
You need to be awake to use that method. We're talking about people that are not "awake". That's the easiest way to deal with not "I's" is to keep yourself vitally interested--then you forget all about them. It will last as long as you stay interested--whether it's a day, or a week or a year. OK?
[I caught on pretty quick that there were such things as not "I's and that they are experienced as thoughts. The part that was harder to catch is that "they" lie--they sound so logical! It's really a challenge to not believe what's going through your head. I added this excerpt because most of us don't realize how fast it occurs--a split second! I entitled this excerpt "getting rid of not 'I's, so that if and when we're caught, we can quickly find this page and cut those "suckers" off before they make a mess of the moment.
Sometimes as the thoughts go through the head, and I discover that a not "I" is replaying some old past experience; I think of watching TV with a remote in my hand. If I don't like what's on that channel, I just switch it? I can do that with my thoughts too! I switch the direction of my thoughts and start thinking of something I want to create..........Marsha]