School Talk 3 -Creativity
Finding fault with others
Being "free to experience what may arise in my way today"
(audience participation in parenthesis)
A person said they had a great urge to be creative. I said well, what do you want to create? Well, I don't know, I just want to be creative. This has been a great urge for years. We tried many different categories as to what would be creative-none of them seemed to have had an appeal.
So the point was, everybody has an urge to be creative, believe it or not, everybody has it. the urge is to create integration or oneness from duality, at least, and maybe more. Maybe we are three people instead of two, but at least we're two. We have one that is given considerable credence in today's world as the INTELLECT which is wonderful and is fine, but the intellect has been taught to deny all this feeling mechanism that goes on next door [or beneath].
Now I think the intellect is to be in charge, but it cannot totally eliminate this other stuff-the feeling mechanism breaks in and comes through all the time--and in the old days they called this being creative. It is creating a "soul". I don't know much about that word, but at any rate, that's what they called it a long time ago. It said that the person was split down the middle, and we've drawn the picture of man on numerous occasions-there's one over here [A-side], and one over there [B-side]. The intellect is the one that is accepted by society, but there is always a lot of feeling going on.
Now the feeling that goes on a considerable amount of the time (if we allow it to get through and pay any attention to) is usually a little bit on the obnoxious side. Not that that's the only thing it does, but it's the one we pay attention to.
A lady was in here one day this week and said that she had discovered that she had a very nasty side to her--that she was a bitch. I said, "Well, I've known that for years; but did you just now catch on." She said, "Yes," this week was the first time she'd ever seen it; and she noticed that her whole facial features changed--her body features changed when this came up; and she was very upset by having discovered this--to such an extent she got herself down here to talk about it. So I convinced her, maybe I hope, that that was the luckiest thing that ever happened to her because now, maybe, she could look at it and accept it.
We've talked about this for years; and as we say, we neither condemn it, nor justify it--we do neither one. It just is. So if anybody has the potential of being a murderer, why then every one of us in here has the potential of it. If somebody has actualized it; then we, also, have the potential. We may never actualize it-hopefully, but at least we have the potential.
If somebody's a thief, we have the potential--even though we may never actually do it; and again, I hope we don't. But if one can begin to see that all of this obnoxious stuff does exist as an aspect of man; and that it is a little-bit primitive, I suppose you might say; but it is also very powerful feeling wise. If it is recognized and brought into consciousness along with the intellect, it makes it conscious, and intellect can accept it as being there--then it makes it very, very useful. In fact it does become very creative because all art and all that kind of stuff comes from there too.
Creativity comes out of that area--so it's not all the "baddy" bad guys; but that's the only kind that we allow to get through once in a while because the rest of it we don't pay much attention to. So if we can allow everything that's in us to come to the surface without condemning it or justifying it, we can bring about a unification or an integration. Now we used to use the word (considerable number of times)-integration-and it finally it got to meaning black and white sleeping together or living together; and so I quit using the word; but anyway, we'll use it again with the meaning of being whole, complete and one.
Everything in us has a value and can be expressed. Now most of the time we keep it hidden away and the only way that it expresses; and so it's well to become acquainted with it; and one way we can discover this, is attributes we attribute to others.
You know we had a friend here not long ago, who visited with us for several days, who kept saying that everybody in the world besides him was a "stupid bastard". Now that's called projecting. In other words, that's the way the intellect feels about himself; but he'll not allow that to come out--so then he was projecting that on everybody else. So it's been said that all the fault finding we do with others is that we feel it in ourselves; but because we're criticizing and judging it in ourselves and also hiding it, we project it outside onto other people.
Now I wouldn't say that's 100% correct; but it is, basically, a fundamental that when you sit around and find fault with everybody, that basically you have the feeling that that's going on in you; but you don't allow that feeling to be there, so I'll "put it on" that "Mary does all those things" or "John does them" or "Judy does them" and so on down the line.
So when you find fault with others, it is an excellent way to become acquainted with this, shall we say, obnoxious side that is not verbalized or used in words; so inasmuch as we think in words, we call that the subconscious or unconscious. I prefer the word unconscious much better--that we're unconscious of the obnoxious side--but that "it is there"--in no uncertain terms. So let's observe for a while what we fault-find about other people.
Now as all of this stuff finally comes up to the surface--and we can look at it without condemnation or justification--that is called being integrated. So all of that material that was formerly a little bit on the vicious, primitive side becomes civilized because the intellect absorbs it into itself. Now we have one being, and that being is far more productive, creative, whatever word you choose to use--or shall we say more alive.
Conflict comes to an end because the basic conflict in a human being is between intellect and all these emotions that we have next door that makes a lot of noise in there. That's where the real conflict comes in, that I want to be the "goody good two-shoes"-that's what Mama, the church, authorities and various and sundry other people taught me to be--and there's a lot of those "should be's" comes up.
A writer some 2,000 years ago named Paul wrote that the things I would not do, I find myself doing; and the things that I would do, I find myself not doing them. So all those things make the conflict; and as long as we're in conflict, we're not one person--we're two people having a war in here. It is a little rough on the body, and it's a little rough on the abilities in everyday living--in everything that we do. When conflict comes to an end, we have basically come to the place where we are one being. A person always has a feeling of having unfinished business as long as he has conflict.
Did you ever notice that, Mary? There's always something else needs to be done; and if you have the occasion, as I do quite frequently, to find somebody who is in the last few months of their existence in this world-12, 14 months--they begin to realize what is going on. It's a very sad situation to see a person who realizes that as they look back over their whole life, they see the conflict they've been in all of their lives. I don't care how many romances they had, how much money they made--how much prestige they had--how much acclaim they had, they feel they "blew" it--they lost the whole "friggin" deal-they didn't get accomplished what they were about or what there was to do. I think about the last minute they begin to realize that that conflict is going on; and now they're too sick--too near dead to do a darn thing about it; and they have a very upset feeling.
I have the sad occasion to be around those people quite often, and it's kind of pathetic. I wouldn't say kinda--it is-probably the most pathetic thing I run into in all the efforts that I work with--a person who sees I'm on my way out; and I "blew" the whole deal--I missed it--because I think that if you go out of this life in a conflict, it probably is the end of the show. If you got it all together, you're probably around. I don't know, but it seems to me they seem to feel that they're around; and they can talk a whole bunch of different games.
So I would highly recommend that we begin to allow and encourage all these inner feelings and emotions that arise in us (that we hastily try to put out of sight most of the time)--allow them to be there. Now if we are highly conditioned to be what we call "too good, good, good", we'll probably be upset by what we find; but we can be free to feel about any way. That's the first thing you have to start off with--is freedom.
I'm free to experience anything that "may arise in me" today. I put it is a slightly different term. I'm "free to" experience whatever "may arise in my way" today. So that stuff is going to come up; and if we're "free to" experience it, very shortly you can have it all up; and the intellect takes it and absorbs it. Then we don't have a whole unconscious area anymore-and then conflict comes to an end.
Now if we're in conflict within ourselves, sooner or later we're going to be in conflict with those around us; and that's kind of a tedious chore (all day long) to be in conflict with this person, that person and another person. I don't see any reason to be in conflict with them; but if we're not very conscious of it, and it comes up within; we do get conflict--it's just a natural outcome.
We're in conflict with the environment--with other people--with situations we find ourselves in--whatever it may be; but if we're free to experience "whatever may arise today?--I don't care whether it arises from within or comes from without.
Frequently somebody calls me up and calls me very dirty names; but I'm free to experience those because I recognize they're all true--potentially at least--and so what; it's the way they see me; and it's what they are projecting. It's the way they feel about themselves. Why shouldn't I allow it to come to me? They project that on to me.
Now when I used to do "day-in and day-out private appointments" all day long with people, I'd start off with somebody and they would go along real well for a few weeks; but then they would begin to accuse me of having every conceivable derogatory attribute you could come up with. So I would just accept that and go on-I'd just agree with them.
Some of you were in Fountain Valley the last time we had a talk out there. There was a young man who made a long dissertation to "put me down". He said that I was this or that; and I had made a big "boo boo" in some of the written material back down the road. Well, I let him run all the way through it; and then I asked him if he would please repeat the question. He couldn't quite do that because it was too long and complicated. Incidentally, I got a letter from him today, and he sounded quite different. He's back in a mental hospital; so he's doing better. They always do better in mental hospitals than they do out; but in that case, the feeling thing had run rampant all over the intellect. It just chomped down and ate it up. So the intellect has to gain a little strength; and the only way it can do that is, again, to be free to experience whatever goes on there.
Now have you ever had a feeling arise in you, Mary, you didn't want to feel?
(Oh, I'm sure.)
….. like guilt, or anger or frustration? What'd you do about it? Try to get rid of it just as quick as possible, right? May I highly recommend you don't do that? Let it stay up there-it's not gonna hurt you-just look at it-it belongs around. And if you look at it and allow it to be there, very shortly, the intellect makes it over into a very creative--useful thing to do. Try it and find out.
Every invention that's ever been made in the world comes because that aspect of the man was free to work. That's why very few people make inventions because very few of them allow it to ever get there. The minute you have it, what do you want to do with it, Mary? Get rid of it, right? It's unpleasant, so we are not free to experience whatever may arise in "my way" today-from within or from without.
So the first step towards creativeness is to assume a freedom. I am free to experience whatever may arise in "my way" today, and I don't care what it is-inside, outside, what-have-you Let's face it, I wasn't overjoyed to see nobody show up at our business last night; but I'm free to experience that. So what. It's what's there, so we might as well experience it.
Now we could have fallen on the floor, rolled up in a ball, stuck our thumb in our mouth and wet all over ourselves if we wanted to, but so what-all you'd need was a new set of dry cleaning. So I don't see where anything has been achieved by that; and the same with every other conceivable thing. So the purpose of a school and working together is to be free to experience "whatever may arise in my way" today."
Now I don't have to arrange for things to happen. I could, but I don't have to because nature, life brings us along enough of those situations anyway. So there are enough incidents come up that challenges everybody to be "free to experience it". Now that includes physical discomforts, mental anguish, turmoil, thoughts that come in your head, feelings, emotions, and attitudes that you don't approve of and other situations in our everyday existence.
Now if we tried to operate a school without some sort of a business arrangement going along with it, we'd have a half-school because we would have to theorize a lot about situations and events. It doesn't matter what kind of business it is--whether it's a furniture business--or whether it is a restaurant business--or whether it is a department store--or whether it is a farm--or whether it is a kennel raising dogs--it wouldn't make any difference--as long as there is a business involved. There's going to be a lot of situations because that business allows this off-beat side in us to come up-that off-beat side starts projecting itself out there, and that's what we usually try to get rid of.
Now all I'm suggesting is that we be conscious that it's there. We find no fault with it--we let it come up and take a look at it. We can "check it out" pretty well by seeing what attributes and fault finding we "lay off" on everybody else. That's the best way in the world, I know, to look at it because it does do a fare-you-well job of projecting.
We used to do a technique which I never use anymore--but techniques are kind of interesting. We used to run a person through the entire tone scale-apathy, fear, anger, held resentment, boredom, contentment and vital interest. We'd run them through it in like an hour and a half. Well, when you got them up to fear, they were afraid of me. I was going to do terrible things. When they got to the resentful stage, they hated me. When they got to the angry stage, they wanted to kill me; and when they got bored, they sat there and yawned and yawned and yawned and yawned and yawned; and then they would get interested--look fairly comfortable for a minute; and then they would get very vitally interested.
Now there's only one thing wrong with that. As soon as I quit working, they went -- psst-- thataway back down to apathy or some other lower state-- and that was kind of a hard jolt for them. So I quit doing that stunt, but it was interesting to do it. Every once in a while I have those urges to do it, but I sit still for a few minutes until it goes away because I've seen too many people bump off the bottom pretty hard. It was fun, but it was more my fun than it was theirs. But anyway, it's worthwhile; and I try, when I'm working with people, not to indulge my joys. I'm trying to work for them.
Ok. I'll quit talking for a little bit. Let's have questions. Let's have a round-table discussion with this enormous crowd we have here.
(Are all these feelings and emotions that are "coming out" for a purpose?)
You'd better believe it, and instead of seeing how fast you can run from them--push them away--take a pill and make them disappear--or use alcohol or drugs to get you unconscious of it, the point is to se yaeh -- that's there.
Some guy, with a "poetic state of being" along years ago, wrote a book and called it "The Dark Night of the Soul." You know it sounds real poetic.
(Well, what about think, act, feel, the exercise you gave us to choose an inner state that's to our advantage?)
That's the same difference. So when you use the exercise of think, act, feel is when you want to use some creativity, but there's a lot of those obnoxious emotions arise in between times, is that right?
(Yes, and I've discovered that the think, act, feel exercise does not take care of that.)
No, that doesn't get those, that only works when you're sitting here feeling kind of blah; and you want to put a little enthusiasm in the business or what-have-you -- you can do that, ok? And I always use that exercise every morning and every day of the world.
But the point is that this other stuff comes up in the wee hours of the night; and let's see you get up and do a little think, act, feel at 2:00 am, 3:00 am in the morning. I'm not talking about on Friday night. I'm talking about Thursday and Wednesday and Tuesday.
(You mean when there's no distractions.)
There's no distractions then, is there? Those feelings and emotions need to be out; and if you shove them away, you're not doing yourself a favor, honey, ok? Let them be there, and see what all they have to say. You neither condemn them, nor justify them; but you can by letting them be there--being aware of them--being aware how they do intellectually, can "take charge" of them; and then you can use them the way you want to be. They make fantastic servants; but otherwise, they're very much tormentors.
(It's like opening Pandora's box.)
They are tormentors, ok? Everything in Pandora's box got out, ok?
(So that's how the intellect…)
(That's how it absorbs them by taking charge?)
It takes charge of them once they're out; but you have to be "free to" look at them. As long as the intellect is fighting them, and trying to make them go away and judging them as "bad", or having to justify them--nothing happens. You see, when you can say "that's me, too, over there--that's part of me--that's an aspect of me"--let's get it all together and integrate it instead of having it in a conflict.
Basically the intellect is in a heavy conflict with all that stuff, isn't it Mary? We stay up all night fighting with it-all week fighting with it-all year fighting with it.
(Yes, and unfortunately, I've noticed that they get bigger and bigger.)
Right. So there's conflict within; and that's the problem; but the problem we make out of it is that we will not be "free to experience that conflict" long enough for it to be absorbed and made over--and that's called creating a soul.
I've said, that's what they say in the books. Now, I didn't say that. It sounds good. It sounds almost like that "dark night of the soul" stuff, you know--good poetic stuff. So let's say it's integration-being one--whole and complete-one person instead of three people running around inside this skin we got here. Now there are too many within whenever we got more than one. That's one too many. It's there now, so let's let it come out until such time as we can be totally aware of it.
Now Mary, you and I worked one time on some little something and the only thing I could tell you to do was to be "free to", is that right?
And when you started doing that instead of fighting with it?
In other words you can then be integrated. But as long as you're fighting something, there's no chance to integrate it, don't you see?
Now to be "free to" is the very antithesis of what mostly we have been taught all of our life-we're trying to be "free from" something. We're trying to get it gone. We take tons of pills. I read the other day of how many tons of valium is sold every year in this country; and it was in the millions of tons; and you know, you take a tiny little old pill of it; and it looks like it would take a long time to make a ton of that stuff--but regardless, millions of tons are sold.
Now every ounce of that stuff (of those millions of tons) is used to prevent integration from taking place. Trying to be "free from something" instead of being "free to". In other words the whole market for Valium could be destroyed if everybody could get it in their head to be "free to experience whatever may arise in your way today". The whole market for Valium would be over with. That'd be a financial catastrophe for this country. That'd be a sad state of affairs if that came about to happen.
"Free to" is the technique if you please. "I am free to experience whatever may arise in my way today." If it's a feeling of anxiety, fine, I'll "experience it freely". Now if it's guilt, I'll "experience it freely". If it is physical pain, "experience it freely". You're not going to run it off by bitching at it--I'll assure you of that. If it is staying awake all night, "Well, I'll experience it freely". I don't have to jump up and down and have a fit and take a ton of pills in order to knock myself unconscious-"I'm free to experience it."
Now, saying "I'm free to" is truly a freedom. To try to be "free from" something is no freedom at all because even if it's gone this minute--then the thing might come back. So I'm still in a turmoil over it. So the only approach is to be "free to". Now that takes--as they say in New York-balls! But, so what! I think they say "guts" in other places; but either way, it's "free to experience" something that may be, to you, unpleasant at the moment. But who guaranteed us that everything would be pleasant in this world. I don't remember getting a warranty to that effect when I arrived, did you?
They didn't give me one; and they still haven't sent it. I have applied for a warranty a few times, but they didn't give it. So I don't think we'll come up with it. I don't think it will be here. So we can be conscious, and we can be one person; and the only technique I can lay-out for you is I CAN BE FREE TO EXPERIENCE THIS.
Now I will also tell you that if you're fighting it--trying to be "free from it"--no matter what method you may be using, it won't work. I've seen people use drugs. I've seen them use distractions. I've seen them use religion; and I've seen them use a jillion other things. I've seen them try to use "what we talk about" for the conflict, but it won't work either. Nothing's going to work until you use the material--you're "free to experience it". Now, being "free to", you're totally free; but if you're trying to be "free from" something, you're just running. So, even if it's gone this minute, it might be back, huh? It might be back; and I'll guarantee you, it probably will be back--and back many times over.
So the more we try to be "free from" something, the more we're involved with it; and as soon as we're "free to experience it"--no matter what it is--it begins to take shape and pretty soon it is integrated into an intellect. Then it is much broader and more complete, and has far, far more capability and talents and attributes to it than it did when it was in conflict and was trying to fight.
Conflict is a very disintegrating thing. It has been written, by somebody who supposedly knew what he was talking about, that said--CONFLICT IS THE ONLY DISINTEGRATING FACTOR. That's what keeps you pulled apart. With absence of conflict, you are integrated, without conflict--you are one; so the way to start the think, act, feel exercise is to be in non-conflict-it is to be "free to experience whatever may arise today".
Another question? That's the end of the tape. Got anything that needs to be added to it? I don't think so. That's why we all stand around here working on it and trying to do something about it. So let's use it a little bit, ok?
Have a nice evening and we'll see you on Monday.