Definitions - Conflict, Struggle and Resistance
From Single Motive School Talk #54
[from Marsha…..When I heard these definitions on a workshop tape, I realized that I had never thought about the meaning of these words. My teacher said that these are the only disintegrating factor within man and they come from within. ]
So if you have a purpose and a will, have you then eliminated conflict, struggle, and resistance--which is all the disintegrating factors of man.
If you’re in a struggle, you are subject to all kinds of emotions like anger, guilt, fear, apathy and the works because it’s according to what happens with it or which way it goes.
If you’re in a conflict, you are wanting to do one thing, but you don’t want to do it--and so you are constantly in turmoil within. It’s hard to go either way. I want to stand up; but I want to sit down. I say to people once in a while—can you stand up and sit down at the same time?--and that’s a little hard. I like to stand up when I want to stand up, and I like to sit down; but I don’t want to be in a conflict over it. Did you ever get in a conflict whether you were going to get a new job or not get a new job—going to give up the old one; or a conflict as to whether you want to get rid of this guy and get a new guy, or you want to get rid of this lady and get you a new lady? Have you ever been through all those things, huh? Course everybody nods “yes” slightly, not emphatically, but slightly-–everybody agrees. So consequently we call that conflict.
Now resistance is “resisting what is”. Now “what is” is whatever circumstances are going on in the present moment; and if we feel that our inner state is determined by circumstances--(which is a very common belief--which I would call a mis-belief)—well, it is a very common belief that you’re inner state is determined by circumstances. Is that about correct?
Now if everything is going like you want it—lah-dee-dah—you would be very happy; and if it’s not going just like you want it, then you could be very upset, is that right? So most people go around more upset than they do un-upset because things don’t usually go just like they want.
To be in free choice, you could feel any inner feeling you wanted to regardless of the circumstance. Then you don’t have to be resisting the present circumstances because you can feel happy under one circumstance as well as you can another. You can feel joyful under one circumstance as well as you can another. You “contribute to a pleasant mood whether everybody’s doing just what you want them to or not”.
It’s peculiar about people; they don’t usually do just what you want them to. Have you noticed that by any chance? Have you’ve noticed that such is the case? So if the only time you can feel good is when everybody is doing what they “ought to do” in your viewpoint, how often do you think you’ll feel real good, huh?
(Not very often.)
Not very often, so it would seem that we’re in a pretty pathetic situation if “feeling good” is dependent upon everybody else doing “what they ought to do”--according to me, that is. I don’t know what anybody “ought to do”; but we, most of us, have a pretty good idea what they “ought to do” and what they “should do” and what’s proper for them to be doing; and we can all find some kind of fault with the way they are behaving because obviously “they know better but they’re going on and being perverse anyway”—that’s about right?
Do you like to live without resistance? That’s what second force is--resistance to your purpose.
Now there are certain purposes you got no second force to.
I’ve never had anybody try to stop me from trying to contribute to a pleasant mood.
I’ve never had anybody try to interfere with me doing what, to me, is being a good guest. I’ve never had anybody bother me over that.
I’ve never had anybody interfere with me giving a service that somebody’s asked for.
And finally, I don’t go around trying to straighten people out or any of that kind of stuff.