Workshop - Playing the Victim Role - Albuquerque, NM 1990 - Part 1 of 2
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(Audience participation is parenthesized and separated from his words.)
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PLAYING THE VICTIM ROLE CD #1 of 4
Good mornin’ to everybody I haven't said, “Good Mornin’,” to so far, okay?
(Good morning!) (Good morning!) (Morning!)
Have a good one and while we're at it, okay? So, I guess on the first thing we'll talk about is a fundamental. That’s always well to review for those who have heard it before and it's invaluable to those that haven't heard it.
[to someone entering] Come in and have a chair. So the first thing we'll talk about is the Picture of Man. I don't think anybody ever gets enough of it. Even though they've heard it many times, it's still somethin’ new and different ever’ time. So we will try with the Picture of Man to start with, okay? So we'll just draw a nice little diagram… doesn't look much like a person, but that's good. We’ll divide it off into circles.
And the first one down here is the Physical Body. We're all acquainted with those. We see them all around us and everywheres. So that's the Physical Body.
The next one is an Awareness. We can tell by talkin’ to somebody that they can hear us. If you talk to somebody in a coma, you know they don't hear you – their Awareness is not workin’. So we put “Awareness” in this one. [he’s drawing all of this on the board]
And in this one we'll just put an “X”, because it is something we don't know exactly how to define, but we can see it work everywheres it is. I don't know how to wiggle a finger. I can be aware I want to wiggle a finger, and then I can wiggle it. But this [X] is what wiggles the finger. I don't know how to wiggle a finger. And if you've seen people that had a little paralysis, they couldn't wiggle a finger; it’s just there.
So there’s always then, while we're alive, we have a Function goin’ on. Some sort or other – we're eating’ or sleepin’ or dreamin’ or doing somethin’ or other; we're always doing somethin’.
Now this exists in an Environment. This is the environment out here. [draws it on board] And from the environment we receive Impressions. We're aware of ‘em – of impressions of various kinds. Now, when an Impression goes to Awareness, then there is a Feeling that happens immediately and the feeling goes to X. And accordin’ to that feeling – whether it’s true or false or whatever it is – X does the appropriate thing with neuroendocrine impulse to the Physical Body, and the Function is carried out.
Now if everything worked like that, we'd get along pretty well. But unfortunately it don't work quite that well because we've got a lot of things in here that colors the picture, colors the Awareness and we have all kinds of ideas about it. So, we'll now try to put in, in the Awareness, the things that impede it a little bit.
So, here we'll make a nice little thing and we'll call that a decision, or a conclusion. So, this one down here in the bottom of it was probably formed when we were born. Bein’ born is a traumatic experience. Mama knows about the traumatic experience, but the baby knows more about it. It's pushed, it's squeezed, it’s out of breath and all sorts of other things. It's short of oxygen because all of its oxygen was supplied through a little tube in its tummy, and its food was supplied. It never got hungry; it never got out of breath. It just went along la-de-dah. And then one day all this birth process starts. And it gets squeezed and pushed and all sorts of things.
So, it decided that the whole purpose of living, the WHOLE purpose of living, is to regain that non-disturbed state it was experiencing a little while ago – non-disturbed state. And if we look carefully, that's about what we've been workin’ for, ever how many years old we are. We may be 60 years old, but for 60 years we've been trying to be non-disturbed. Don't always work – in fact it seldom does; but we're tryin’, tryin’ hard, to get it non-disturbed. And it doesn't work but we keep on trying just the same because this decision was made with feeling and not with words. So it's not easily to recall it. If it was made with words you could recall it, change it and say, “Well, I’ll work for some relative non-disturbance – but not total.” But if we don't have total, we get all kinds of complaints. You ask a person, "How are you?" and you hear an organ recital usually. It tells you all the things that are not working right; it’s bothersome here, there, and elsewhere.
So the first thing that the child did very shortly after it was born was deciding on a method to gain the non-disturbed state. So it found one that worked pretty well for a while. It said, "It's important” – now we're puttin' words on feelings – “It's important to have my way right now, not after a while, but right now. Not after while, but right now. So, the way to get it is to complain.”
Now if you've been around a little child, a little one… on up to 90, (laughter) you will find that it complains in order to get its way. That's about the last way to get your way, really, but that's the one we use, is we complain, okay? So a baby cries. And the crying is a very unpleasant sound to adults, so they do everything possible to get the child comfortable – right now! That about right? No matter what it takes, right?
So you first get it dry, you get it fed, you get it comfortable as possible and try to get along with it. So for two years, at least, this method works pretty well. When you are not comfortable, you complain, you cry out loud; and people get with it to try to straighten it. So that gets pretty well impressed. So you can find this still going on at age 90. You know any 90-year-old ladies? Do they complain? In no uncertain terms, is that right?
(Yes! Worse than when they’re young!)
Oh yeah, worse than then because they’ve had more years to practice. (laughter) Good Lord! The more you practice, the better you get at somethin’. So, they've been practicin’ at it for umpteen 90 years and they've got it down to a pretty fine art, right?
So, when another two years goes by, the child decides on another method. This one gets so it don't work totally. They can cry and the folks can tell a difference between the cry: are they crying because they're displeased? Are they crying because they're uncomfortable? And now they're getting so they can cry angry and you can tell that. Is that right? They can tell when they’re cryin’ angry. So they say, "I must stick up for my rights.” Again we're puttin’ words on feelings: "I must stick up for my rights.”
Now did you ever stop to consider what your rights really are? Was most of us born about the same way? We was born helpless, toothless. About anything and everything we couldn't take care of ourselves, somebody had to take care of you – almost totally, is that right? Now that doesn't give me a lot of rights that I can see, do you? But the child feels that he has all kinds of rights. So he's got to stick up for ‘em. This is when he begins to cry belligerently, and most people can tell it. So the family says they've had enough of that in a little while.
So they force another conclusion. He didn't make this one voluntarily – it was kinda forced upon him: "It's important to please them." [Bob had been coughing and was offered water.] Yeah, somebody’s got some sittin’ around, thank you. Important to please them. Now the reason it's important to please them is that they're going to make you uncomfortable if you don't.
So now the child has conflict. [he stops to sip water] So that brought about a split in the personality, into the Awareness; it split it right down the middle. So, here's one bunch going one way and this one’s going another way over here. So, we got a conflict. Now conflict is unpleasant and you have to have a “chooser” when you have a conflict. So, it fragments still further, and this [“I”] becomes the “chooser”.
So the “chooser” gives this one the nod – says it’s gonna have its way, or it’s got to please these people over here. And this one, then,makes them feel guilty – right away. So they didn’t like that feeling, so the next time a situation comes up, they give this onethe nod. You’re gonna stick up for your rights and please; so you try that one. That one don’t work so well. You feel guilty because you were trying to have your way and everything else, so you feel guilty. Now then you have a choice. You gonna feel guilty, or are you gonna feel self-pity? Which one are you going to have? Huh? (laughter) So either one's uncomfortable, right?
So, the folks then decide that they better train you in the ways of the world, so they take you to see “the authorities”. They take you to church, and they take you to see the policeman on the corner, and they teach you to see various government regulations, and they say you gotta please all these people.
I don’t want to please them! I don't like to pay taxes, do you? Huh? Do you like to? No, I don’t. But you got to, and they got to do what everybody else says, so then this one says, "It's important to believe and do what I'm told by my authorities."
Now my authorities is probably a little different from yours, so we have a contention with each other about what's supposed to do. “You gotta live by this authority.” “No, I say you got to live by that one over here!” So then there is conflict there, with the "outside’ world now. Before then this it was all an inside job. Now then it's getting’ so it's on the outside. We have conflict with each other as well as with ourselves.
And then we hear about somethin’ called “self-improvement”. So we decide we're gonna improve ourselves. That’s a beautiful job – to improve yourself. How would you improve yourself? Put another head on there, another arm, another leg? Did you ever try to walk with three legs? It’s terrible! (laughter) Ever try to use three arms at the same time? It won't work. But you got to improve yourself, so, we try the inside improvement: “I'm gonna quit complainin’.” They’ve noticed that they did complain a lot. But the more they decide they're not gonna complain, the more they complain. Right? The older they get the more they complain. So they decide that they will not live up accordin’ to authorities. That’ll get you in jail. So, all sorts of things goes on here and the person's in a considerable big conflict.
So finally he decides – he or she decides – “I know what!” They’re gonna make a decision here that's gonna straighten everything out. “If he, she, they, it – and various and sundry other things – were all different, I'd be all right. I'd be okay.” Now then they start out tryin’ to improve everybody around them, or to get them to do what they want them to do. Now that is a chore, a real chore, because the other person is doin’ the same thing. They’re trying to get you to do what you ought to do. So now here you have a tremendous conflict going on that no matter which way you turn, you’ve got a conflict.
Now sometimes you try to please these old folks, is that right? How much good does it do? None. So we decide they're just contrary, or whatever. We decide that this person here is uncouth. They're just not doin’ what they ought to do. And we work on and on and on so the conflict goes on day and night. Now we've only found one little method that works. Now it seems very, very simple; but just because it seems simple, I'd like for you to use it for… oh… two weeks. You could do that, couldn't you? You could use somethin’ for two weeks. Huh?
So anytime you look at this, it looks like I'm a victim of something or other. I'm a victim of these old folks, I'm a victim of other people, I'm a victim of little children that’s crying. “I can't keep ‘em quiet,” a woman says. “I got four kids in diapers” and raa, raa, raa, raa. And we try to please the government, and we try to please the various and sundry other authorities, and we all feel we're victims of these people, okay? So now every time you observe this, let's just report, "I'm playing the victim role." Now that's simple, that's easy. Now you don't try to quit playing the victim role; it's useless because you'll just get tied up on one of the others. One or the other one, what difference does it make.
[a latecomer arrives] Hello – how you doin’? Come in, stay awhile. Somewheres there’s chairs, folded or unfolded, ready for you. Took a lo-o-o-ng time to get from Santa Fe this morning. Right?
Okay, you got it, you made it – wonderful.
So we have simply that we recognize we're playing the victim role. I'm a victim because people are complainin’. I'm a victim because people are stickin’ up for their rights. I'm a victim because I can't please everybody. I'm a victim because I can't live by the authorities totally, ‘cause there's so many of them, there’s all kinds of conflict. I can't improve myself, so I'm a victim of self-improvement. I hear somebody ever’ now and then say, “I'm going to quit smokin’,” – as if that were an improvement. I don't know whether it is or not, (laughter) maybe it is, maybe it's not, so what.
(I'm beginning to wonder about that!)
Yeah, I am, too. (laughter) So you’re gonna quit after a while and so that's gonna be a great improvement – people will accept you in certain places. I notice a lot of people go in a restaurant and I’m sittin’ there. And there’s a lady comes in says, "Smoking or non-smoking?” You know that routine. And she says, "Non-smoking,” so she sits down and eats lunch. As soon as she gets through she pays her check, runs out and gets in the car, lights a cigarette, puts the key in the switch, and then starts the car. Now, she is playin’ a double role; she’s tellin’ people she don’t smoke in the restaurant, as if it mattered, but she’s sure gonna smoke the minute she gets in the car. So, it's all right. But she’s tryin’ to improve herself. Why not go on and we all smoke. (laughter) So, what’s the difference. Did it for years.
They tell you if you eat this, you'll die; and if you eat that, you'll die. Somebody else tells you another thing. So I have an article out of the Arizona Republic that says, "YOU EAT, YOU DIE." (big laughter) That looks like a reasonable assumption. May take you a hundred years to do it, but you'll do it. So it's always correct, you know? You eat, you die. So what – why not just eat what you're hungry for and be done with it and die whenever you die. But that's not the way things work these days. So, we put it here that you have this and you can say, "I'm playing the victim role." No matter what you're doin’, you find you're doing this, you find you're stickin’ up for your rights, just say, "I’m playin’ the victim role.” ‘Cause somebody invaded your rights so you’re a victim, so now you can stick up for ‘em.
Somebody gritches over your complainin’ and you talk to ‘em about complainin’; and they never complained a word in their life. And that’s all in the world they do! And some of ‘em here are stickin’ up for self-improvement, and they’re workin’ at it so diligently. They’ve been at it for years and years improving themselves, but they still have one head, two arms, two legs, the usual setup. And their behavior is very similar to what it was – except they're a bore. (big laughter) Because now they're trying to improve themselves – that’s all. It just makes yourself a bore, which is another way of being a victim.
So we've found that if you repeat – and you will be surprised how many times a day there is to repeat it – "I'm playing the victim role.” Now, you're not trying to stop being a victim, not trying to change a thing, you're merely reporting to your Awareness. Simply state, "I'm playing the victim role." Nothin’ mystical or obvious about it, you're just sayin’ to your Awareness, "I'm playin’ the victim role.”
Now, you can only keep this up –
(Bob, your cord.)
[he’s interrupted by trying to reconnect his lapel mic] This don’t fit. I’m a victim of all these new-fangled things. (big laughter)
Stop complaining. So you merely state, "I’m playing the victim role." And you'll find you'll do it many, many times a day once you begin to pay a little attention to it. It's not just somethin’ that happens here and there. You're playing the victim role and you play it a lot. So, every time you find yourself playin’ the victim role, you merely state, "I'm playin’ the victim role." In about a week, it may be five days, it may be twelve days; but somewheres in about a week, you will have had enough of it. You see it didn't do any good. It just was somethin’ for you to exercise. "I'm playin’ the victim role."
So you quit, okay? Now you don't do it on purpose or anything; it just automatically comes to a stop. And people tell me, “Well now my head's totally quiet. What do I do with it now?” Let it be quiet. So what? Some people say that they can't find anything to complain about – so what? Don’t bother – just go on. Head's quiet, just go on and be quiet. But you don't have to complain, you don't have to stick up for your rights. All of these are ways of being a victim as you look – gotta improve… “I’m a victim of circumstances, or early training.” Ones that say, “I've got to believe and do as I’m told by authority. I'm a victim of all authorities.” One says, “If everybody else was all different, I'd be all right.” Well, we’re a victim of everybody, you know, so what? Some says that, “It's important to stick up for my rights. Well, somebody's constantly steppin’ on my toes of my rights.” You know that. Everywheres, right? So I just say, "I'm a victim, playin’ the victim role." Not saying, “I am a victim.” “I'm playin’ the victim role”. And the one that says, “It's important to have my way right now,” and that's usually impossible, but you can just go on about your business and don't tell anybody what your way is, they won't usually notice it. But the point is that you just say, "I'm playing the victim role." And when you do that, you will find that there is a transformation in your inner state in approximately a week.
Now some folks are a little more intent into this act than others, and it might take ‘em ten days. Some get over it in five days. But somewheres in about a week. So it's the simplest and easiest way that we know to go about havin’ peace. Now, I didn't say you were improved, I don't know whether you are or not. But you have a peaceful mind. It’s quiet. And you can respond to whatever the challenge is and do it – awake. Doesn’t keep any big problem goin’ on.
Now, I've talked enough on this. Let's have everybody's comments, and suggestions, and questions. Whatever you like. Let's all get involved in this so we kind of know what we're talkin’ about, okay? Who's the number one to ask the question? I don't have my friend Leland here today. Okay, Miss Barbara, you can be Leland today.
(I got a list.) (laughter)
You got a list. Okay.
(Okay… [she quickly reads a very long, unintelligible question she’s written down] )
Now, that’s a good written question. Now, why don’t you just state it out in simple terms for me, Barbara? (laughter) Come on, just talk to me – I can’t follow your writing.
(I’m talking about Soul and Essence. I understand you have an Essence with a potential to be developed. But as long as my psychology is conditioned, I don’t have a Soul.)
Soul is the Awareness Function kind of developed, okay? The Essence is already developed; it's just waitin’ to be used. [he chuckles amid laughter] Okay? It’s just waitin’ to be used. It will be used when the rest of the mind is quiet. It is very polite. It doesn't interfere while your Awareness is going blah-blah-blah-blup. It just sits there, okay? But when the Awareness is quiet, X operates; X or Essence will operate. In the meantime it's very polite; it just sits there.
But it doesn't need any development; it seems to be fully developed. But your Soul, which is the Awareness Function, can be developed. And that's what we were just talkin’ about that you could say, "I'm playing the victim role." And in a few days it will develop until it’s a fair observer of “what's going on”. The impulses from the environment will come in and it does the appropriate thing for ‘em. And the more you do that, the more it does it, and that is development of the Soul. The Essence is doin’ fine. We don't need to fiddle with it, okay? Is that all right? That all right?
Okay, thank you, Barbara. Now the next one – some question here, comment. She got something straight by asking the question. Yes, sir…
(We talk in terms of personality, which I assume is conditioning, and individuality. Is individuality in those terms the same as Essence?)
Individuality is the same as a developed Awareness, one which has gotten all the complainin’ out of it, and the stickin’ up for its rights, and its playin’ the victim, okay? That is the one that will develop, okay?
(That the same as awake?)
Yep! Stayin’ awake. That’s a good question for it. The rest of the time we're asleep, dreamin’ we're a victim. Okay? Okay, another comment. Thank you for that one. Yes, ma’am…
(What is our individualized expression of an X?)
That's when X and Awareness are functionin’ as one unit – not totally one, one immediately responds to the other one. Instead of a long conflict to decide what you're gonna do, it’s decide you’re gonna do it, it happens. Okay? That's being one, okay? Simple enough? All right? I'll draw you a little picture of it over here in the comer. [he draws on the board]
An impulse comes in: immediately a feeling, immediately an action, and a function. That's it. That's all being one or, shall we say, integrated. That all right? That's the way it works. Now ordinarily you got to stop in here and contend on this for days as to which one’s going to get the word, isn’t that right? You decide to give this one the word; but then you see, “We'll I'm gonna feel guilty,” so you put it back over here. And that don't work so good, so I get back over here. That's the way the usual one works, okay?
This is the way you'd work if you were integrated or one. And as we said the easiest way out is saying, "I am playing the victim role.” Not bein’ a victim, you're just playin’ the role. Okay? Got that one all right? If you don't, we'll come back to it in a while. Okay? Yes, ma’am.
(Bob, maybe my question is similar to hers and we can help each other out.)
(Pretend you have two transparencies of these two images that you have. With the statement that, “I am playing the victim role,” you are transposing one over the other then?)
No, you're just seeing what you're doin’. You're still playing the conflict. I said you wouldn't try to stop it, you're just stating the fact; and when you see that fact for a week or ten days at the most, it all quits, okay? Don't try to change it when you see you're playin’ the victim role, just keep on playin’ it – to the hilt, okay? But it will come to a stop in a very few days if you really see it. “I'm playin’ the victim role.” That's correct. That’s all right for you. [she nods]
(When you have, like, a certain conflict going on in your mind, what do you report?)
“I'm playin’ the victim role.” (huge laughter and clapping) That's what your conflict is; you're a victim of conflict, right? You’re not unaware, can't be peacefully aware. So you just go on with what you’re doing but you state, "I'm playing the victim role,” okay? And you'll find it all comes to a quit, Joe. Okay? Thank you for that one.
(I’ve got another one.)
Okay, good! Not readin’ it, now, just state it. (laughter)
(Is Vanity having a false picture of self, and Pride is the defense of that picture?)
(Okay. What I would like to ask is, how does this make us become a victim of other victimizers because we’re not victims, and would you comment on self-esteem?)
Okay, you can't have self-esteem while you're in conflict. That’s obvious, isn't it? So you just state, “I’m playin’ the victim role.” Now the first part of your question was what?
(Vanity and Pride.)
Okay, Vanity is that you’re having to tell yourself that you are a superior being of some sort, right? But you really don't feel it – you're just trying to tell yourself that. So you're a victim of circumstances then. And Pride is sticking up for it, which is another way of saying, “I don't believe it, but I’m gonna pretend to do it anyway.” (laughter) Right? So you're playing a victim of, “I'm really inferior but I'm gonna pretend that I'm great,” and all this stuff. Self-esteem is something you have naturally when you get through playin’ the victim role. As long as you have it you don't have much self-esteem, you're just putting on a good show. That all right? Okay?
So Marilee, there's one thing that you need do: simply state, "I'm playin’ the victim role," and really see you are and let it be. Don’t try to change it, ‘cause if you change it, you'll change it into something worse, (laughter) and perpetuate it. So just say, “I'm playin’ the victim role,” okay? Simple. One of the things I see people gettin’ themselves in the victim role is, "I'm gettin' old." You know that one?
(Don't look at me when you say that.)
Oh, of course not! I wouldn't even think of it – you're 16; wait ‘til you’re 40. There’s somebody back there… yes, sir…
(The corresponding label for the upper circle on the left side there would be?)
Self-improvement. I’ve gotta self-improve myself. I gotta practice self-improvement. I'm going to get more self-esteem. I'm going to have more pride in my work. I'm going to do more; I wouldn’t ever call it Vanity, but I've got to get some activity in here. See? So really it comes out very simple. Okay? Next comment, question, criticism, challenge? Anything! Let's just get everybody involved, okay?
(If those arrows are going on and you're reporting "I'm playing the victim role," and that Awareness is reporting that to X and X is going to do the appropriate thing for what you’re reporting, when does X say, “I don't believe this”?)
When it says, “it's playing”. That’s the key. You don't say you are a victim. You say, “I'm “playing” the victim role.” And it gets enough of playin’ that game in a while, you know.
(The Awareness then begins to diminish and X takes over.)
Right. So then this one we said, we only report to this, to the Awareness: "I'm playing the victim role.” And be sure you’re saying “playing”. Not reporting to X, we just say to the Awareness, “Man, I'm playing the victim role to the hilt here,” okay? All right?
(So actually, we're reporting to Awareness, not to X.)
Right, not to X, you're just reporting to Awareness, “I'm playing the victim role,” – no effort in it whatsoever, just saying, “I’m playing,” and keep on playin’ it. Just let it roll until it quits of its own accord, which it will in somethin’ like a week to 10 days, okay? Yes, sir?
(So game-playing or playing the role, is that partly an addiction?)
Yeah, you can be addicted to anything you want to. And if you tried to quit, you feel you're a victim of it, is that right? Huh? Just go on and say, “I'm a victim.” If you drink a quart of booze a day, you just say, "I'm playin’ a victim role," okay? And it’ll quit.
I had a gentleman who drank a half a gallon of whiskey a day. That's a pretty good addiction. (laughter) Pretty good!
(He might have been addicted to lying, too, sir.)
No, he wasn’t. He had the two empty bottles at the end of the day to show it. And he had the hobnail liver to show it. He didn't drink it all at once; he just nipped all day long ‘til he kept it goin’. So he decided that it was a matter of life and death, he’d better quit. And he tried all the official rules and the detox systems [he chuckles] and what-have-you. And I talked to him and said just say, "I'm playin’ the victim role. I'm addicted and there's no help for it. I'm just addicted, so I'm playing the victim role." In a week he quit drinking booze. Really. Quit! He said, “I don't have any urge for it, I don’t want it.” That's all. He's still got hobnail liver (laughter) and a few other things. You know, his liver looks like a bunch of hobnails. But he's got enough liver to function anyway, okay? So, he can do it. And all he did was say, "I'm a victim." He said the first day he must have said it 150 times, the second day 130 and so on down. But then in a week, he just quit. So now he didn't try to stop drinking. He just went on drinking the first day, but said, "I'm a victim. I'm playing the victim role – playing it.” And the “playin’” got him to quit, okay? Whatever, it works…I don’t know, it works. Anyway, give it a bloody go; it won't take too much effort to play it for a week or 10 days, will it? Might as well be doing that as sitting, feelin’ in conflict, okay? Next question, comment? Paul?
(Bob, what was that comment you made a few moments ago about aging. People who are being victimized by ...)
…by just livin’ too long. (big laughter) One way to die without aging: die quick. I haven't seen too many people that’s interested in that routine. So, you know… aging is not anything great, it's just a few grey hairs, Paul. That’s about the only thing that shows on you, right? Huh?
(Hmmm, yeah…that I care to show!) (laughter)
That’s all right. It looks very distinguished on you, Paul. You'd a never gotten distinguished lookin’ without getting that grey there. So it’s all right. No sweat.
(That's what I keep telling myself.)
No sweat. Don't tell yourself that. Just say, “I’m playin’ the victim role,” (laughter) and it just won't matter a durn, okay?
(Bob, I have been trying to find a way to work with my grandchildren. Watching them as they pick up these things as they go along. How can I improve them?) (laughter)
Well, sweetheart, they're all gonna form all these conclusions. When they're old enough you can talk to ‘em very gently about one at a time, okay? But don't try to do it now, you'll just frustrate yourself, and aggravate them. (laughter)
(I'm watching them at a year old, and they're starting to.....)
They’re start makin’ ‘em. Right when they’re a year old and they will start makin’ them the day they're born. So you just let ‘em make ‘em as part of growing up process. So when they get 14, 15 years old, you can start gently on ‘em, okay? You got to wait awhile. Don't get on to these grandchildren and tell them what they ought to do and try to be their authority down here, you see, okay? Just let ‘em be. Look, we all grew up in spite of all of it, didn't we? We all grew up. Yes?
(Is her question perhaps, if she’s no longer playing the victim role, that will reflect to the grandchildren and the messages that they get in their Awareness won't be as ....)
Maybe it won't be as strong, but it's gonna be there, dear. No, let’s just let it alone. Okay. They'll grow up in spite of you and me. Just like you grew up in spite of your parents [chuckling] and everybody else around, okay? You finally grow up. Then we can begin to look at it. I think you'd need to be 15, 16 years old before you get bothered with it too much. Okay, another question, comment?
(You know how I feel about adding years? I’m lucky that I can add on another year.)
That you just survived another year. Wonderful for you. Wonderful for you.
(It doesn't bother me.)
It doesn't bother me either. Yes, sir.
(Okay, I'm sitting here. I’m getting the, “I’m playing the victim role”, coming across loud and clear. Now, in the famous words of Peggy Lee, "Is that all there is?")
Well there may be a little more, but we'll get around to it. But we're talkin’ about a lovely place to start, okay? You can't start at the finish line. You have to start at the starting line, not the finishing line, okay? So don't try to know about the finishing line first. We'll see about that when we get there after while. Okay? Well, we've been at this for a few minutes here. Has anybody else got a question? Okay, let’s take about a 15 minute break and we will start at about five minutes past 11, okay? Somethin’ like that. Take a break, walk around.
[END CD #1 of 4]
Playing the Victim Role &
The Vicious Cycle
Albuquerque, NM 1990
[Beginning CD #2 of 4]
Guess we'll start again. This time I thought I'd talk about the Vicious Cycle. It's the natural outcome of all the other things we've been doin’, so we'll talk about the Vicious Cycle. The
Vicious Cycle kind of counteracts the idea of cause/effect. So we’ll proceed to look at things that don’t go accordin’ to cause/effect.
We'll say the first thing is a misconception. Now the biggest misconception is that I'm a victim. Not just playin’ it, but “I really am a victim!” So the natural outcome of being a victim is to have a False Feeling of Emergency. Do you know what a false feeling of emergency is? That's when I'm dreadin’ something going to happen that isn't happening now. But it might, you can’t ever tell! Huh? Never has, but it might this time, who knows? (laughter) Never has happened, you're still survivin’, right? So it hasn't happened so far, but it might this time.
So the false feeling of emergency results in the body being prepared to fight or run. And the way it does that is that X produces neuromuscular tension and chemical imbalance. In other words you got a bunch of chemicals – adrenalin and all sorts of things – started up in the body to prepare you to fight or run and you don't do any fighting or running and the muscles are all tense, ready to go have a big fight or run, and you don't do that. You just sit and stew. That's about all we do. Wait for this doom that's gonna come up on us very shortly that we've imagined.
And so that results in a state which the body has to adapt to. Now it can't survive long with this state of chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension without some severe symptoms. So we have adaptation. Now, adaptation takes two forms.
We'll take the physical one first which accounts for about 90 per cent of all of our physical difficulties. When somebody says, "How you feel?" you tell them. It comes out first there’s unusual cellular activity. Now that always produces unusual sensation. So now you have a little pain here, a little pain there. And of course with our misconception that everything's gonna happen in the worse possible thing, this no doubt is the first signs of cancer or some other dreaded disorder. We never have it that it’s just a little uncomfortable. We really go into self-diagnosis, with a terrible pain. And you, of course, know what diagnosis means.
A diagnosis is a condition of “two not knowing”. “Di” means “two”. “Agno” is "I don't know". "Osis" means “condition of”. So you have both sides of your business going on it and you came up with all sorts of things. Then you go to the doctor and he will tell you some things and that further increases the misconception.
So now the misconception is that I've got some terrible disorder. And that goes down and that produces more false feeling of emergency. That produces more chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension and that requires more adaptation. Now finally when this adaptation – this is purely a functional disorder here; there's no symptoms, no pathology anywheres around, it's just the cells are doin’ a little something they don't ordinarily do and we feel a little uncomfortable – but now if you keep it up long enough, you get tissue cell alteration or breakdown.
Now you have a pathology and the good brethren can find something to do about it. They can cut it out, they can radiate it, they can chemotherapy it. Aw, there’s jillions of things you can do. All are very interesting, you know. And, of course, now you know you've got a chronic disorder that will go on; that makes more misconceptions, more false feeling of emergency, more chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension, and more adaptation.
Now the other way of adapting is used by some people. It's more unpopular. People send you flowers and get well cards and everything for this [referring to the physical] one. But the other one they don't. The other one is called “unusual behavior”. Now, unusual behavior is peculiar. And people don't like it and they ignore you. And maybe they will put you in a mental hospital, or they may even put you in jail. But whatever it is – or you’re just very unpopular in the community – you don’t get any get-well cards, they act like you don't exist. So this one don’t leave too many physical scars on the body, but it is a little dangerous from the standpoint of society.
So you can look at which way you want to adapt. You can adapt with unusual behavior, or you can adapt with unusual cellular activity, the unusual sensation, and the tissue cell alteration or breakdown. Now that's very respectable – if there is such a thing as being respectable by being sick – it is very respectable. But this other unusual behavior is not at all acceptable. You just don't get any sympathy. You don't get any anything here except criticism or being ignored, totally ignored.
Now the way out of the Vicious Cycle is to see “what I'm doin’”. The Vicious Cycle is saying, “I am playing the victim. I'm a victim of circumstances. I'm a victim of disease.”
You know that word disease is kind of peculiar if you look at it. It spells dis-ease; I'm “not at ease,” which is simple. But they call it disease and give a name on it and are you in trouble. Really. It really is all the same thing – you are not at ease.
So if you stated, "I’m playing the victim role," you'd probably get at ease pretty soon; but that's not very dramatic, is it? You know, you can think of all the things you can get out of and all the things you're not responsible for if you got this: unusual cellular activity, unusual sensations, tissue cell alteration or breakdown. You're not responsible, are you? It’s just one of those things that happen to me.
They have a saying in the health insurance business, "You never know when illness will strike." Illness is a thing up there on the ceiling. Gobs of ‘em up there. And it says, "Well, there's Carolyn, I think I will attack her. And there's somebody else, I will attack them. There's Paul, I’ll attack him." It's just by the good grace of these diseases that they don't attack you every minute. They're just waitin’. "You never know when illness will strike." Did you ever hear of that?
Yeah. You believe it?
You can have it to strike any time you start puttin’ on a false feeling of emergency, and that's very easy to do in the present day and style is that it's very easy to have a false feeling of emergency. Now, if you first go to somebody with a false feeling of emergency, they give you a pill like Tylenol, some aspirin, some of those good things. And that's supposed to calm you down so you don't build up all this neuromuscular tension and chemical imbalance. Of course, it does. And you get up here and you have some symptoms. They're just delayed for a little bit, or maybe you will go into unusual behavior. Maybe some of these pills you can get addicted to, and is that a doozy when you get addicted to it. You've got to have it. It makes you feel weird, but you got to have it ‘cause if you don't take it, you feel more weird. And here it goes, around and around and around.
So now the Vicious Cycle is a very good demonstration of something you can keep a little picture of around; and you can see that I’m havin’ unusual cellular activity and therefore unusual sensation, ‘cause unusual cellular activity always makes some sensation. Now you can see how you're gettin’ along. Now, maybe there’s a good time to stop and say, "I'm playing the victim role. I’m believing that illness is striking me right out of the ceiling. It's picked on me,” or out of the sky if you’re outside. It says, "I'm going to attack old Paul." And he's got it. There isn't much he can do about it. He can go to the doctors, but they only manage these disorders, they don't treat them to heal them. They manage ‘em. They keep ‘em to a minimum – as long as you take lots of pills. Okay?
And then after about three years, you'll need an operation because you've gotten tissue cell alteration or breakdown. Now this was something you had absolutely nothing to do with. It was just that disease attacked you. “You never know when disease will attack you.” So we have this sad and mournful situation of the Vicious Cycle goin’ on. Now no one of ‘em is “cause”, no one of ‘em is “effect”; they just follow one sequence after another around and around and around and around.
Now! You don't want to have it? You still go reporting, "I’m a victim, playin’ the victim role. I'm not a victim; I'm just playin’ the role.” And as you play the role of the victim and announce it a few times, you will see that you get tired of playin’ this thing and it’ll quit.
Now then, they say, “You didn't have what we thought you had. You're havin’ a spontaneous remission, but it’ll come back!” (laughter) Any number of good things will be given you to explain it. You know what explain is? It was plain until someone started to explain it, now it’s ex-plain. (laughter) Like you had a wife and you got rid of her, she's an ex-wife. So somethin’ was very plain if you look at it; but when you fiddle with it a while, it's ex-plain. Not plain at all anymore, it's all complicated, got lots of explanations in it and all sorts of things to try to tell you how it came about, instead of just fallin’ out of the ceiling on you. Because you never know when injury will strike.
Now then, let’s have some good honest conversation on this Vicious Cycle. It's somethin’ everybody here has gone through with to a certain extent. So let's talk about it a bit so we got it really in our head, so we can use it. Okay? Got a question? Yes, ma’am.
(We have one particular issue that forms into our Mind, our Awareness, as a misconception, and it goes to our circle and we decide, “Uh-uh, no more, I am playing the victim role and we –”)
Now, you don't decide, “No more.” You just say, "I'm playing the victim role."
(You just decide.)
Yeah, just one simple thing. You don't go into all the good positive thinkin’ that “I don't have it”, because then there will be somethin’ within the next few hours will prove to you that you did. (laughter) So just leave that off, okay?
(The second part of my question: I know that nature, of course, is active, so that when you no longer have that particular Vicious Cycle, will your old programming come up and say, "Ah-ha! But I've got another one for you!")
Oh yes, “I've got a beaut here that you hadn't thought of before!” (laughter) You stick to one thing, "I'm playing the victim role." Don't say, “I'm not gonna do it anymore!” because I guarantee you, you will. Okay? You'll find another sign within an hour or less that you can say, "I'm playing the victim role,” again. So let's just stick to the one thing – simple, easy, precise and that's it. Don't say I'm not gonna have it any more, because you'll have some of it in an hour or less, okay?
(How do you stop the void from being refilled by all these wonderful things that you can be so worried about?)
You merely say, "I'm playing the victim role." (laughter) I can't repeat that often enough, okay? I will repeat it 50 times if it's needed, 100 times if it's needed. That's what does and don't try to do anything about it. Just report it to your little Awareness that, "I'm playing the victim role.” You'll go ahead and have some of this adaptation for a few hours, so don't say I'm gonna cut this off right now. No – not that easy. But it's very simple; it'll be gone in a week, okay? Okay, that answer that all right, satisfactorily? No leftovers? Come back with it again. Okay, next question, comment?
(I've heard it said that if I'm enlightened, I will never get sick, I will never have a cold, I will never have a negative thought.) (laughter)
Don't buy all that crap, okay? (big laughter)
(It comes up that I must be doing something wrong. What would you apply that to?)
Well, because in the first place, the first statement was totally incorrect. You're not gonna become a superhuman being because you were enlightened, okay? You're still livin’ on planet Earth. You'll still pick up a little bacteria, a few of this, that and things; and you might not feel 100% ever’ day of the world. You'll feel pretty good, but not necessarily 100%, okay?
So then you start in, "What's wrong with me?" That's the good not-I, and that you can have you a false feeling of emergency in a minute. "I'm doin’ somethin’ wrong or I wouldn't be doin’ this. I wouldn't be havin’ these terrible symptoms. I wouldn't have this headache from stayin’ up all night last night. I wouldn't be doin’ this and I wouldn't be doin’ that." So don't buy the first one, okay? And ignore the second one. (laughter) Okay? Did you have a question?
(A man is lying in the hospital bed due to tissue cell breakdown and so on and he makes this statement, he's going to be maybe able to walk out?)
Maybe, if he's not too far gone. Sometimes he's so far gone that Life says, "Why bother." But basically if he's just layin’ in bed being "tested" and etcetera, as they say, he'll probably get up and walk out, yes.
(Well, this is the best tool I've ever been given.)
That is correct. It is the –
(I have three hospital calls to make next week.)
Okay, go make ‘em all. And if the guy's an extremist as it's called, don't call. (laughter) It's not your business, okay? Just leave him alone because he’s got himself in a precarious position, we'll say. So I'd leave him alone, but the rest of ‘em I'd be there working with, yes.
(I'm playing the victim role ‘cause I can't see what you're writing on the board up there.)
I'll tell you about it, okay? (laughter) What I wrote on the board here was “misconception”. Over here was “false feeling of emergency”. Down here was “neuromuscular tension and chemical imbalance”, which is the state your body gets in when you have a false feeling of emergency.
(All the disorders and everything are adaptations, is what you’re saying?)
Yes, all these are adaptations. Now we said there’s two ways to adapt. The respectable way, which is to have unusual cellular activity, unusual sensation and finally tissue cell alteration or breakdown. Or you can adapt by unusual behavior, which nobody will send you flowers or come visit you or any of those things.
(We put them in institutions.)
Yeah, institutions that's not really respectable, okay? Yes, ma’am.
(Bob, you said that 90% of the physical is adaptation, so what’s the 10%?)
The other 10% are physical also, but they're from adaptations to gettin’ jolts, jars and falls or gettin’ you an oversupply of bacteria or eatin’ some good tainted food. Did you ever try that? No matter how integrated you are, you get sick. (laughter) You get food poisonin’, in other words. Most of those are acute, okay? They get over with in a few hours without anything. Yes, ma’am.
(You said that we report we are “playing the victim role”; and I have heard it said that children are sometimes victims.)
(Are there any other exceptions to that rule, as in elderly senile people?)
No, I don't think so. You could see anything as bein’ a victim. You could be in a nursing home and you was neglected three minutes and you could say you were terribly neglected, you were mistreated, you were a victim of the circumstance. But really they were doing about the best they could, okay? And children are not responsible for their state of being and they can be somewhat victimized, or shall we simply say it, “mistreated”. Most of ‘em simply mistreated, not victimized, okay. Yes, ma’am.
(How do you treat the elderly, senile person in rest homes and so forth?)
Keep ‘em in a rest home, give ‘em as near comfort as you can. What else. They're senile; they don't know the difference anyway. That’s right, just treat ‘em as nice as you can and see that they have as good a care as possible and let it be. Not everything's fair in this world, you know, according to our idea of fairness that everything's lovey-dovey. Some of it is not, but that doesn't mean you’re a victim; it means you are in that circumstance for a little bit, okay? I wouldn't worry about it. Okay? Yes, sir, Paul.
(Bob, I’ve always associated unusual cellular activity with, of course, cancer as being the biggie. But what are some other expressions?)
A boil would be one; a good sized pimple on your face would be one. (laughter) According to how much trouble you had and it would be how big it would be and so forth. Cancer is the ultimate one of where the tissue cell is altered. That’s when there’s severe adaptation to make, it makes a severe adaptation. A cancer is cells that enlarge more rapidly than usual, then they finally break down, okay? First it made a “two-more” [tumor] – you know, two more cells where there should only be one. (laughter) And then they break down finally because there's too many of ‘em. Paul, that's cancer.
Now if a person reversed that procedure early on, they'd only have a little scar. In post mortem exams, there’s umpteen cases where they find a scar that had been cancer, but it was in total remission. They never got a diagnosis so they got all right, okay? That goes on all the time. There's a jillion of ‘em that people never know they had ‘em, okay? They had spontaneous remission. In other words, somethin’ nice happened and they forgot all their stuff over here, so everything healed up and got all right, got along fine. Okay? Now then, we’ll have another question, another comment. We’ve got lots of time here – we got all afternoon here. Come on… here it is! Okay?
(You mentioned jams, jolts and falls; where do accidents come in? You know, like terrible ones?)
That's part of ‘em. You get a bad accident, you’re liable to get an adaptation to it. The more severe the accident, the bigger the adaptation can be. Yes?
(Before the accident, you must have been building up to that.)
No, an accident’s an accident – just happened. Don't try to put cause and effect on everything because there is no such thing as cause/effect. There is a relationship of four things. And there is such a thing as an accident, okay?
For instance about two years ago, I was down in Texas givin’ a talk on a podium. You know, they had one of these built up things so you're up above everybody and can look down on ‘em? I was up there doin’ my number and started to get off and they had a sealed molding went all the way around this podium, but in one place it turned loose, stickin’ up about that high and I hung my toe on it and I fell all over the floor. And it hurt my knee and it's still hurtin’ a wee bit – nothing like it was. I couldn't walk without a walker and all this jazz; but now I can get around fine. Okay. Sometimes it gets a little stiff. But that’s all it happened from – it was an accident. I was feelin’ wonderful, havin’ a great time, everything. I wasn't preparin’ to have an accident, okay? It just happened. Okay?
(Bob, you talked about the physical adaptations as a result of the Vicious Cycle. What about the non-physical adaptations like getting fired, getting divorced, having a child move away from home?)
All those good things; so we say those are unusual behaviors. They're all lumped in together. And you usually don't get flowers for gettin’ a divorce. (laughter) Very seldom people send you flowers. Some say, “She's taking it rough,” but so what. You know. They don't send you flowers or candy or get well cards or anything, right? Okay, they’re just unusual behaviors. We lump a lot of things together. It saves a lot of conversations. Yes, sir…
(Bob, a lot of times I see patients that have been in an accident and have injuries, and then they start into this cycle – they get into the victim. And we start gettin' them well, or they’re getting well on their own, but they go into the victim.)
Oh yeah, because they already decided there was something terrible wrong with ‘em that was totally incurable, and they can never get well and so forth. Yep, they do that. They go from just an ordinary accident, which usually causes a little unusual cellular activity, and they carry it all the way and get in a mess. They said, “Illness struck right out of the ceiling on me,” okay? All battered up with it. Okay? We're doin’ good, let's keep this goin’. Yes, ma’am…
(Can I have clarification? X responds to feeling and Awareness responds to reporting?)
Well, in just plain statement. If I say, "Barbara, you look kind of puny this morning," you might buy it. And then you'd begin to check to see why you was a little puny this mornin’, right? (laughter) And you'd decide you didn't get enough sleep last night and this and that and the other. You could feel pretty crappy before the day was over, okay? (laughter) Huh? Okay. So I just set up an artificial misconception, got you to have a false feeling of emergency, got you to have neuromuscular tension and chemical imbalance and you had a little of this [referring to “adaptation” on the board]. You'd probably get over it by tomorrow, but that's all right, okay… Tuesday, anyway, you’d get over it. Pretty simple enough. Yes, sir…
(So Spirit or X responds only to feeling – is that what you’re saying?)
Yep, It responds to feeling, not to words.
(And Awareness responds to what?)
Awareness responds to words, right – words, and can look at it how it goes. So these words like, "I'm playing the victim,” we just simply state it in words without a feeling or anything – just seeing it is; and that's reporting to Awareness. And Awareness gets tired of playin’ that game pretty soon and it quits.
(When you use the term “value”, is the feeling the value?)
Yes, when we do, but usually we don't value too much. We just put that word out. It sounds good. Good soundin’ word. (laughter) I just ignore it.
(I came across it in some of your literature, sir.)
Yes, it's in lots of the literature. It says, see the misconception and see the value of it. It has none, okay? That's the joke in it. (laughter) That was the joke. It has none, okay? Sometimes we try to have a little fun when we write. (laughter)
(What is “it” that is reporting to Awareness through words? Another part of Awareness?)
Yeah. In other words, Awareness can report to Awareness on a misconception. So here you been doin’ somethin’ by habit for 40 years, so now we do it intentionally and it has a big effect, okay?
Okay? Okay, Miss Tina…
(Could you talk about the two places of interference: psychology, and the medical profession?)
Would I do what?
(Talk about the two places of interference on the Vicious Cycle – the psychological and the –)
Okay, psychologically we look for the misconception. Okay? They're fairly easy to find if we look for ‘em. The general treatment system is to put a block in between the False Feeling of Emergency and the neuromuscular tension and the chemical imbalance. It don't usually work, but it does change it a little bit; and so we have less feeling over here and probably less of this adaptation for a few days ‘cause we're adaptin’ to the chemical interference that was given. That easy enough? Okay.
(So, Bob, is there something that even gets to that, higher, where it doesn’t even …. unclear] )
It goes in the cycle. There is no higher. Okay? It goes in the cycle, or you don’t say it and it don’t go in the cycle. Okay, yes, down here… somebody had a hand up… I don’t know whether you was stretchin’ or askin’ a question, or commentin’ or somethin’. Okay?
(So in other words, if you interrupt the cycle at some point, that creates ease for a little bit. But the misconception has never been dealt with, so it –)
So it just keeps on startin’ again in a minute, so far ‘til the body adapts to this interference, okay?
(And the interference is, like, a doctor’s prescription or something?)
Oh, yeah… it can be a doctor’s prescription, or it can be one you went to the drugstore and bought over the counter like Tylenol or some of those good things, you know. I know people who take endless number of painkillin’ pills a day – every time they feel a little symptom. Well, finally the things are producing the symptoms. And you tell them that if they will leave it off, they’ll get all right, but that’s a hard chore because they’ve got themselves convinced that they can be comfortable at ALL times. [tongue-in-cheek:] Integrated, you know. So they take a pill – quick. And it numbs it for a little bit, but it soon starts again and finally the pill itself produces headaches or whatever it may be. So then they’re really hooked, okay? So, just quit it and live without it for a few days. It’ll all be all right. Okay, any other comments, questions? Yes, ma’am…
(When you told this young lady the misconception that she looks kind of puny today, she could evaluate and say, “No!”)
She could refuse it or I said she could probably accept it and she allowed she would. Okay? [he’s chuckling]
(So here if we look at the very bottom of this, we had the choice all along.)
Why, sure. I could say, “You’re lookin’ wonderful,” when I think you’re… creepin’. But you begin to look a little better – the usual thing. Now some people you walk up and say you look fine and they say, “Why are you tellin’ me that for? I’ve got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peelin’?” (laughter) you know, and all that kind of crap. But, you know, you can say it in a way that most people will accept some of it. But we’re not responsible to get everybody in the world to feelin’ good. We’re only responsible to look after ourselves and have a little duty to look after the others – if they’re open to it. They’re not open to it, forget it, let ‘em go ahead in their misery until they get over it. Okay? Okay, another comment, question… here it is.
(On the same vein, are we taking too much control if we tell the people something?)
Oh, I don’t think we’re giving ‘em any control – they got a free choice to accept it or reject it, you know. I’d rather give a little complement here – not overdo it, nobody’ll believe it if you overdo it, just gentle, okay? [he speaks in quiet voice] Gentle. “You’re lookin’ pretty good today.” That’s all right, nothin’ wrong with that. They do look pretty good… most of the places. (big laughter) Only their face, and their shoulders are slumped over and woebegone, but their feet look pretty good, their knees look pretty good. They look pretty good today, I’m not fibbin’. Like people say to me, “Robert, how you feelin’?” I say I couldn’t feel better! If I could I would. (laughter) Couldn’t be better. I’m not lyin’, I am – I’m feelin’ the best I can today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better, but I’ll still say, “Couldn’t feel better.” I’m not going to give you an organ recital every time you ask me how I feel.
Okay, no more questions? We’ll take a noon break from twelve until two o’clock. I’ll be here at two. In the meantime, I will be here for approximately an hour and I’ll have a private word with you here and there if you need it. If you don’t need it, don’t bother. (laughter) Okay? But if you need it, I’ll be here and available for approximately an hour. And then I’ll go out and see if I can find a bite to eat or somethin’ like that. [addressing someone] You’re number one. Okay? How about one o’clock?
[END CD #2 of 4]