Workshop - The Fourth Way - Part 1 - Phoenix, AZ - date unknown
Audio available at https://www.dropbox.com/sh/bjsnni9menko397/AAAXm9X-MKTl3XGsaXmrSq08a?dl=0
Marsha does the original transcribing from cassette tapes or CD’s and others do the final proofreading. We strive to give as close a verbatim transcript as possible, making this a companion to the audio files found in the “Links” section. Dr. Bob’s interesting vernacular is retained – not correcting his grammar and laid back “Kentucky-ese” makes reading it sound like he’s actually talking. He’d say “everone” for “everyone”; or “somewheres” instead of “somewhere” – and much more, all part of his dialect of which we’ve tried to remain true. Notations have been added
where there was audience (laughter) –
he was a master at keeping the mood up!
(Audience participation is parenthesized and separated from his words.)
Emphasized words are in italics.
[Clarifications regarding Dr. Bob’s references, words, or actions are italicized inside brackets.]
CD #1 of 2
Living by Patterns
Okay, we will start off and if somebody else walks in, why we will ignore ‘em for a while, okay? We’ll just act like they’re not here for a few minutes. Most people that I talk with as I travel about the country and that they come in to see me (from when they do the travelin’) give a story that they live by a pattern – that the same things and the same general situations kind of reoccur either year after year or ever’ two years or somethin’ like that – kind of live by a pattern. Did you ever have that happen, Ralph?
Once or twice – just kind of the same old pattern comes around, the same problems come by, slightly different names and sizes on ‘em; but the same patterns reoccur year after year or month after month or whatever the case may be. So we will somewhat talk about these “patterns” to start with today. In order to kind of understand the patterns, we kind of have to know what we’re working with that recreates the pattern. Now, basically most of us live either by ideas or feelings – and they probably are about the same thing ‘cause I have an idea, it produces a feeling; I have a feeling, it produces an idea, most often. So let’s kind of see what it is that we have to work with. Now, in order to do that, we will kind of look at our little picture that’s called the Picture of Man.
The Four Attributes or Functions
Now, man is a four-fold creature or shall we say has four major attributes or functions. One, there is always something goin’ on – so there is some Function that you are doing at all times. There isn’t possible for us to be existin’ without doing something – we’re breathing, eating, talking, living in certain categories and doin’ the same things over, more or less, year after year. Right, Ralph?
(That’s about right.)
That’s about it, about the same thing. We have a Physical Body, which is in various states of disrepair at most of the time. You know, anywheres from minor little discomforts into complete fallin’ apart; but it’s all we have to do things with. There is an Awareness Function, which is aware of the things about us. And that gets filtered through, of course, many ideas or conclusions that we have along the way about everthing about it. We don’t usually just experience something; we have an opinion about it. And, of course, there is something that is the Life Principle which seems to keep us goin’ as long as it possibly can, that you can look at a person and say, “That’s one’s alive.” And another body you look over and say, “Here lies the remains,” very graciously when it gets to that point. Before then we give it a hard way to go, but we get very sentimental about those that don’t have any Life in ‘em for some reason or other. I guess they won’t bother us anymore so we can be… They’re just expensive to get rid of. So we have these things to work with.
Now, we live in an Environment of sorts that we are continually receiving Impressions into the Awareness. Constantly those are comin’ in. We also receive Impressions from the body. Now, about every impression we have, we form a idea, an ideal, or a conclusion about it.
The Master Decision
Now, the first thing that we use as our judging method is the state of being which we would like to have at all times, which is to be “non-disturbed.” Now, of course, if we could exist as non-disturbed, we’d be extremely sound asleep at all times because there is everthing that comes along. You feel thirsty – that’s a little disturbance; you feel hungry is a little disturbance; if you feel tired, it’s a little disturbance; if you feel restless, it’s a little disturbance; if somebody says hello to you, that disturbs your non-disturbed state. So everything is constantly there but we want to be, to regain some sort of a “non-disturbed state.” [He writes that on the board.] Now, that non-disturbed state would mean, of course, that I had nothin’ but pleasure and comfort; but even that can be disturbing after while because it gets to be old hat, you know. And we want to escape certainly every sensation we don’t like, which we call “pain.” So if some of these sensations are (shall we say vibrations from the environment come into us) we have a conclusion that if they’re not all some sort of pleasure and comfort, attention, approval, and appreciation, that in some way there’s something wrong, is that correct? You’ve had that somewhat of a feeling – if somebody comes up and criticizes you a little bit or somebody disapproves of something you did or somebody totally ignores you, how do you begin to feel in a little bit, Donna, huh?
So if you walked into a restaurant and sat down and/or you stood there waitin’ to be seated, and everbody… they seated other people and they left you just standin’ there. They come up and said to the people behind you, “Well, you come along; we’ll give you a table,” and then another table. And you’re just standin’ there. How’d you feel about that?
(I’d take that hard.)
The Six Decisions
You would start complainin’. So the first routine that we have in the pattern that we have is to handle anything that I don’t like (and of course, anything I don’t like is painful; I believe that’s generally the way we have it raised out, isn’t it? If we don’t like it, it’s painful), the first routine we go through is “complain,” is it not? I wouldn’t want to embarrass anybody, but I will ask the question if anybody will stand up that hasn’t complained in the last 24 hours? (laughter) Now, see, nobody got embarrassed ‘cause everybody can stay seated. But now if we’d asked for people to stand up that’s complainin’, I think everybody would’ve had to stand up, is that right, Ralph? Have you complained any in the last 24 hours?
(A little bit.)
A little bit. Now, everthing that we’ve set up is to complain. Now, why is the reason that I would complain? What’s the reason I would do any complainin’? Everbody’s supposed to straighten up and fly right and do what I want to, isn’t that right? Now, when I was six months old and I complained, everbody jumped to and they tried to make me comfortable – tried to get me to shut up, I mean, so they would be comfortable was the main thing, I think. Is that the reason you always tried to keep a kid from cryin’ – so they quit disturbin’ you, Donna, huh? Is that about right?
So we complain. Now, of course, if we’re going to approach everthing that comes along with the same approach that we used as a little child, we’re going to have the same pattern because what is other people’s response to you complainin’? Do they suddenly decide how terrible they are and get with it and try to please you or do they start complaining, defending, and so forth? I notice the big one is to be “on the defensive.” Somebody comes up and complains to you, are you apt to go on the defensive that you’re not to blame for it? Hmm? Defensiveness, we’re gonna defend our self. Well, of course, then the fights on because I’m challengin’ them.
So the next thing we do, of course, is to “defend” or shall we say, “stick up for our rights.” [He writes it on the board.] ‘Cause I have a right to have you to be to blame and I’m not responsible and you’re the cause of all the difficulty. And if you won’t hold still for it and start defendin’ yourself, I’m really going to attack you. Huh?
Now, it would be interesting to notice that if at any time you ever agreed when somebody said you were to blame (you really agreed with it), now, did you ever think about doin’ that? Huh? Did you ever do that, Perry – really agree with the person when they complain? “Yes, I’m the cause of all your trouble and you oughta see what I got planned for you next week!” (laughter) And, you know, they suddenly begin to defend that you don’t have that kind of power. Because you see if a person is complainin’ about me, they’re saying I have tremendous power. Now, they say I have the power to control your inner feeling. If you were complainin’ at me or blamin’ me for anything you’re saying I have charge of your inner feeling, is that right? And they say, “I have charge of what you’re thinking and what you’re doing,” why, I’m obviously going to accept that. They’re saying I have far more power than I really have and if they want to believe that, then I’m gonna take advantage of it, aren’t you? [Break in the recording.] Now, I might even make you laugh and feel good…so you’re really a puppet in my hand. I have total charge of you. How long would it take you to start tellin’ me that I can’t do that? About a split second there, you know, you begin to tell me that I can’t do that. So if you want the people to quit blaming you or complainin’ about you, the thing to do, of course, is to say that you have (did all the things) instead of defend yourself that “I’m not to blame.”
Now, that would certainly be a change in pattern, wouldn’t it? Hmm? Would that be a change in the way you usually approach things? That’d be a break in the pattern. But now I’m going to experiment through the day sometime or other and blame somebody for something. I’m gonna do that – tell you ahead of time – I’m gonna do a little complainin’ or blaming that you are the cause of some difficulty, and I’m going to watch to see if you really heard or are you just goin’ on and start defending that you’re not to blame, huh? I’m gonna do that somewheres along the way today – I’ll find somebody that’s really bright and alert and ordinarily wouldn’t get caught in my tricks and see if they do. (laughter)
So, the other thing that is our pattern is that we – in order to try to be “non-disturbed” over here – that we will “please.” You know, we’re just gonna try to please everbody – not because I want to please, you understand, but because I don’t want you to complain at me or stick up for your rights or do any of those things around me. And I’m afraid not to please you, least you ignore me or reject me. Have you ever been on that routine of tryin’ to please somebody not because you really wanted to please them, hmm?
(A question. On your idea of accepting and saying, well, it is, you know, “You’re right” and –)
I did it.
(Won’t you then maybe become somebody’s doormat?)
Oh, no. They’re saying they’re your doormat to begin with and accept that you’re walkin’ all over ‘em. Now, isn’t what I said plain enough? Did you hear what I said? I said you would ordinarily if I blamed you, you’d go on the defensive. Suppose you said, “Yes, Bob, I made you miserable. I made you not sleep any last night.” Huh?
(What if they go, “Yeah!”?)
Well, you try it once and see if they go “yeah,” okay? See if they don’t tell you, “No, you can’t do that – you don’t have that much power over me.” And that really is getting’ it kinda straightened around where we can associate with each other. So we try this “pleasing” a while and that don’t work and so then we’re still trying to make things work.
And so we go by the pattern of “quoting some authority” and saying the appropriate words when somebody challenges or what-have-you. Why, we always come up with some nice little statement like, "Honesty is the best policy.” (And that sure is not true.) And, you know, there’s a jillion more of ‘em that they come up and quote a little work to you, you know, somethin’ outta Poor Richard’s Almanac or something.
Then, of course, we all go through the old bit of trying to “self improve.” Now, this is probably the one I hear people most upset with – that they’re trying to improve themselves. Now, that you’re not gonna do. Now, we’ll display that one real flat – you’re gonna end up with one head, two arms and two legs and a bod, just like you’re doin’ now. You’re not going’ to improve it – you got what you start with. So you can’t improve yourself. But there is always the urge that “I could have done different or done better under some other circumstance and it would have worked out.” You know, the person usually assumes that if you followed a certain line of behavior (if you even know what it was) and it turned out to be unpleasant in one way or another, you say, “If I only hadn’t a done that, everything would have been wonderful.” But do you know how it would have worked out had you did something else? Do you know or do you only assume? You don’t know what it would have been like. In other words, nobody knows where you would be at this moment if you hadn’t a come here this morning. You may have been a basket case by now; and you may have stumbled over a case of, an attaché case full of cash, long green – I don’t know. But you don’t know what would have happened had you’d not been here, is that right? Right here, right now – you don’t know what would have happened anyway. So you can’t say that it would’ve been altogether different and you don’t know what “improvement” is.
Next one is, is to place “blame” or to see “why” – [writes this on the board] – that’s, you know, everybody wants to know why somethin’ happened. “Why did I do this?” – assuming that if you knew why, it would change something but it wouldn’t; it would still be the same thing. If you knew that the big log fell on your leg and broke it, you know why your leg broke – a log fell on it. Will that make your leg grow together real quick? Or will it still be broken for the usual length of time? It really doesn’t matter “why.” What you want to do is see what you can do about it.
Now, these are the patterns and we refer to these by a common name of “not-I.” Now, they become little personalities and so the “complainer” is really not that you complained intentionally, it’s just that there is a little personality that runs around in there that its first response is, is to watch everthing and complain. Now, there’s another one ever’ time it complains, jumps up and says, "You shouldn’t have done that." Over here [“B” side], you know, you’re told to not complain and everything. So then they have a battlefield inside our heads. One tempts us to go ahead and do something and the other one condemns you about it. Now, have you felt real fine about goin’ and do something such as gettin’ revenge, tellin’ somebody off, or doin’ some other thing? And then when you did it, another little thing who you hadn’t heard of before jumps up and gives you a fit for doin’ it. Have you ever been along that road? In other words, it felt fine until after you accomplished it and then you felt guilty. Now, these we refer to as “not-I’s.”
So, the first thing in order to break a pattern is to be aware of it. Now, I can’t make not-I’s go away and neither can you. I can only paint you a little map so that you can see what’s goin’ on. It’s up to you to do it. Now, the not-I is a liar. Period. It never told the truth in all of its days and it cannot – because everything it says is something about either changin’ the past or it knows the future and it don’t know any one any more than you do. But they play this game and so they come up and tell you how wonderful it’ll be if you’ll do so-and-so. And then when it does that one (it told you all the wonders) it’s nowheres to be found – it’s gone over to get a short beer some place. And the one that gives you a torment, suddenly you hadn’t heard of before, he’s there to give you advice as to what would’ve happened if you hadn’t of done that and you shouldn’t have listened to that.
Now, this is generally what’s called “thinking” in our head. Now, we call it another name – we call it “constant talking.” Now, if you’re ever by yourself, do you notice (and usually with other people) that there is a conversation goin’ on in your head all the time? Is that right? There’s a conversation goin’ on in there. It never ends, especially if you’re alone – whether you’re alone in a car, whether you’re alone in the house or whether you’re sittin’ down and there’s another person sittin’ across the table but they happen to be bein’ quiet, listenin’ to their conversation. There’s a conversation goin’ on which you call “thinking,” huh?
(And there’s a picture show goin’ on in my head.)
Well, that’s right – a picture show – most of us have the picture show, but you really can’t see both real well because one’s talkin’ over the picture. It’s like goin’ to the movie with somebody that’s sittin’ [pantomimes:] yakking: “Do you really know about...did I tell you about so-and-so today?” They’re goin’ on constantly, but the picture show’s goin’ on. Now, they [the not-I’s] made the picture show also. So, now when we see that this stuff is not true (now, you can’t make it go away because it’s a part of the mechanism of the human brain) but you do not have to put any value on it. Now, thank goodness, there’s always a little tiny bit of us that is conscious enough to be observing what’s goin’ on if you pick up the job to do it – I can always watch it, there is always a little thing. Now, if you’re aware that all of this is nothing to do with you…the easiest parallel I could think of: it’s like sittin’ in an office buildin’ or a home and lookin’ out in the street and there’s traffic goin’ by out there all the time – there’s a car, a green car goes by, and a yellow pick-up goes by, and a van goes by, and six Cadillacs go by, and a Lincoln goes by, and a Honda goes by, and a motorcycle. Now, all that doesn’t have any effect on your existence, does it? Now, all this stuff that runs through the head is merely traffic – that’s all it is. And there’s no reason to get involved with it. Now, it’s goin’ on, but if you put no value on it, to you the traffic slows down because if you’re not paying attention to anything, it goes away.
A few weeks ago I had occasion to spend the night in some friends’ house. They had insisted I spend the night, so I did. Well, I got up the next mornin’ and they said, "Did you get any sleep last night?" I said, "Yeah, I laid down, went to sleep, got up this morning at 7:00. Why, what?" “Well, all night…we had to call the police – the people next door had their stereo so loud we couldn’t go to sleep.” Well, I heard the stereo but I turned it off – I went in there to go to sleep, not listen to their durn stereo and it wasn’t big enough to run pieces through me. So why should I bother with it? But they was up all night just miserable – called the cops. The cops come and try to quiet the people down, come tried to get these people to sign warrants and all that about these other people makin’ such noises at 3:00 in the mornin’. I didn’t hear it. I didn’t hear a bit of it. I went to sleep – that’s all I thought I was there for, you know – lay down and go to sleep, get up the next mornin’ and leave. But you see, if you pay a lot of attention to the noise you’re absolutely disturbed by it, is that right? You’re terribly disturbed by somebody else’s noise. You’re also disturbed by these things [not-I’s] – they can run all night and they can keep you awake if you will listen to ‘em, can’t they, Donna? They’ll tell you all kinds of horrible pictures, they’ll paint some of most gruesome pictures up there, and they have conversation goin’ on. They tell you what to do about those pictures. And the pictures are pure amazing, stunning. So then the first thing that we do is want to be aware – that is if we want to break out of this pattern that goes on year after year – is to be aware that these things that run through your head, which we ordinarily call thinking or worrying or bein’ agitated or bein’ upset or bein’ jealous or bein’ whatever word you want to put on it – I really don’t care, but it’s just a bunch of stuff that goes through the head. I prefer to call it “noise.”
Now, if you put no attention on it, you put no value on it because you recognize what it is, it definitely quiets down. And they’re very much like we are – they won’t go anywheres unless they get attention. Now, if you went to a restaurant three times and they gave you the ignorin’ treatment every time you was there, I don’t think you’d go back, is that right? Huh? About right? I wouldn’t go there anymore. So these little not-I’s – when they are no longer given attention and put value on everything they say and we listen to ‘em like they were internal fortune-tellers and listen to everything they do, (we’ve got us some mystic in there givin’ us first class information; (laughter) course they’re tryin’ to destroy you, but that’s what we’ve got and the way we treat them) – now, when we see that, we put no value on what they say. They have no reason to stick around your house anymore. Now, their food is human misery; and if they don’t get some misery goin’ today in you and get a good upset of some kind goin’ – they’re goin’ hungry. And if they go hungry, they leave after while – if they keep goin’ hungry long enough.
But most of us fatten ‘em real well ever’ day. They come along about the time we get up and say…[sighs] “Oh, you got to go to work again today." (laughter) And so we can feel sorry for ourselves for a little while and they have a nice breakfast. Then along about 10:30 in the mornin’ they want a mornin’ snack and so they come tell you a little somethin’ else. And you feel sorry for yourself and you’re victimized by the boss and by the work and these stupid customers that come in. And then about noon, they really get with it because “We got to go eat at that durn greasy spoon over there.” And, “We’ve got to go out to eat and they won’t treat us nice and the food’s lousy and besides that it’s way too expensive,” so then they get a good lunch. And they go have a beer or two and let you alone ‘til about three o’clock in the afternoon and then you have that low swing – you’re so tired, so exhausted, you need a vacation, there’s no way you can get away, and you can feel sorry for yourself ‘til about quittin’ time. Then when you get home, they’ve got everything to point out to you. If you have a family, the family’s been lousy while you were gone. If you went home without a family, look how alone you are – it’s so pathetic, you’re all alone and everbody else has companions and friends and etcetera, and here you are stuck alone. And they can keep that up ‘til midnight and they’ve had a banquet.
Now, if you want to feed ‘em, that’s your business, but you don’t have to because you can choose what you put your attention on. And I think about the last thing that’s interesting to put your attention on is what a not-I is saying ‘cause it’s a lie. They are demons – they’re the kind of people you don’t want to associate with, okay? And they want to destroy you, make you look old and decrepit and sick and all the things they get goin’, and they can do a very, very good job of it. So number one, let’s see that we can recognize a not-I for what it is. Now, if we cease to listen to them, we begin to be in charge.
Now, the greatest thing a person does
is to take charge of what your attention is going to be on.
Now, your attention is the one thing you can be totally in charge of; and I think it’s probably the only thing in the world we can be totally in charge of because everybody else got a lick at everything else except your attention. Now, if you want to put your attention on a spot there on the front of that box, you can do so. If you want to put your attention on your elbow, you can do so. If you want to put your attention on what a wonderful state of affairs you have in this world – that you arrived here with everything set out for you, you can do that. Or you can put your attention on what a terrible victim you are. Now, most of us spend a considerable amount of time on seeing how much we are victimized. Now, generally that’s not choosing your attention. So if a noise comes along and you put your attention on it, then the noise is in charge of what your attention is on. And, of course, what your attention’s on determines your inner state of being today – your inner feeling – what you’re really experiencing. So if you want to put your attention on a certain incident or a person or a memory… you know, I could recall up a memory and I could think how terrible I was treated that day, and how I had a very unhappy childhood, and how I’ve really never had a chance.
Now, I could go on with that all day and be miserable if I wanted, is that right? Or you see most of us don’t take charge of what our attention’s on. And then some writer said it was like a chip tossed to and fro by ever’ wind and wave. So if you can imagine a chip thrown out in the ocean and some of the waves go this way and the wind blows that way – the chip has nothin’ to do, it’s just floatin’ to and fro; but it’s not a living being and certainly not a human, right? But you can determine what you put your attention on. Now, first you gotta know that this [indicates not-I written on board] is gonna try to take over your attention. So – [writing it on the board] “Direct attention.” So I can put my attention on anything I want to and I can keep it there for a reasonable time – put it over on somethin’ else. You can put it there a split second or longer time, whatever you want – you’re in charge. Nobody else can tell you what to have your attention on, is that right, Ralph? Now, of course, we’re…a lot of people around suggestin’ you do this, do that, look at this, buy this, do this, and if we’re not in charge of our attention, it is floating all over the place all day long, is that right?
But you do have the capability, right now, to determine what your attention is going to be on. Everybody here has that ability that you can determine what you’re gonna put your attention on right now. Now, I can stand up here and talk as much as I want to and you don’t have to pay one bit of attention to me ‘cause you can put it far away on anything you want to. You could make you a little movie run in your head and never hear a word I was sayin’, is that right? You can put it anywheres you want to; and that is why we are truly capable of being what’s called “human.” Now, I can put my attention on anything I want to or I can leave it just layin’ around and a pretty car goes by and my attention’s on that. A pretty girl goes by and my attention’s on that. A good-looking guy goes by and my attention’s on that. I see somethin’ in the window and my attention’s on that. And a little not-I comes through and says, “You’re pathetic, you can’t buy that last thing you looked at in the window today.” And so then I can feel miserable and all these things. So a feeling goes pretty well of what we have our attention on. Now, maybe that is a little bit of work. We call this study “The Work" ever’ once in a while and The Work is admitted to be a little bit of work, but it’s very worthwhile. Do you ever feel miserable, Miss Donna – in spite of being a very beautiful, attractive lady? Have you ever felt miserable?
And it was because you weren’t directin’ your attention – somethin’ else was grabbin’ it and runnin’. Now, if you directed your attention, there’s always somethin’ around you can put your attention on and do pretty good with it, hmm? If your attention’s on certain things, you’ll feel pretty nice, won’t you? ‘Cause your inner feeling is pretty well hooked up with what your attention is on. So we can direct our attention. Now, these are little “suggesters” that are constantly tellin’ us to direct it here and then direct it here and direct it here. And they can get you pretty well suggested into following what they want you to have your attention on, which is always somethin’ that will produce misery so they can have a banquet, huh? I don’t choose to feed ‘em. I don’t want to. Because I don’t like to feel miserable, do you? I really don’t. I’d rather feel some other way.
So we do have the capability and the possibility right now to direct our attention and if we direct our attention, that’s the way we will have an inner feeling. Now, did you ever stop to think that what you really experience is your inner feeling? You sense all sorts of things around you – you can sense noise, you can sense the heat outside, you can sense the cool in here, you can sense people comin’ by you. But what you’re really experiencing is your inner feeling. Now, you can feel resentful, you can feel angry, you can feel bored, you can feel jillions of ways…or you can feel delighted all the time because if you have your attention on certain things, you’d always feel delighted, wouldn’t you? Hmm? So you can have any kind of inner feeling you want.
Now, of course, your outer state of affairs goes along pretty well with your inner feeling. Did you ever notice that if you went through a stage of a while of kind of being bored, that pretty soon everything around you looked “blah”? People, things, houses, cars – “I live in Phoenix, nothin’ ever goes on here, you know… especially Mesa.” But I’ve seen people that live anywheres and everwheres and they tell me the same thing – “Nothin’ goes on.” Very recently (or recently to me is a few months) a lady came in, breezin’ into town, came to the office where I work in Newport Beach some, and told me that she was so glad to get out of Salt Lake City ‘cause nothin’ ever happened in Salt Lake City and everything was happening here in lovely Orange County. Okay, I’m listenin’ – I make no comments. Four weeks later Orange County’s beginnin’ to lose some of its glitter. (laughter) Six weeks later, Salt Lake City is beginnin’ to glitter again. Eight weeks later, she moved back to Salt Lake City because “there’s nothin’ goes on in Orange County.” There’s nothin’ there for a person of her capabilities and etcetera. There is no jobs for her – there’s far more jobs in Salt Lake when she came down. There’s bound to be 10 jobs here for every one in Salt Lake. Now, I don’t think that the powers that be have rearranged these cities that much, do you? I don’t think so. But now then Salt Lake City is all aglitter. Now, that’s the pattern. Now, I’m going to probably be in Salt Lake two months from now, approximately, and I will then be assured the same person will tell me that Salt Lake City is a dull, boring, nothing. And “there’s no jobs for people with talent” and that we better go somewheres else. Now, I don’t know where the next place will be – they probable can’t try Orange County again, but who knows? There’s a lot of other places in the world. Maybe Phoenix will be next, or Mesa or Tempe, or somewheres. Is there a lot goes on here? Hmm? (laughter) It’s really a delightful place to be, huh? Huh? Right. So there’s no place in the world quite like it – is that it?
So this is the patterns that goes on in people that we all know, and not maybe quite that dramatic, but nevertheless it goes on that way all the time. So we go through our periods that we have nothing that we are in charge of. Now, we feel we are then (if I don’t take charge) I’m bound to feel I’m a victim. “I’m a victim of circumstances, I’m a victim of your lack of wisdom and understanding.” I know one guy who’s a victim everywhere he works of the “stupid management.” You know, they’re so stupid they don’t know how to run a business and here he has to work with these stupid people. And of course, he always gets fired in a few weeks – and they were so stupid, you see, that he just couldn’t work with ‘em. Well, I’ve asked him a couple of times, “Well now, this is a big chain you’re workin’ for; they have millions of dollars invested in workin’. How’d they get that money if they’re so stupid? You haven’t got any money to invest in even one place – you haven’t got one store. But they’re so stupid, how come they got money? Maybe we all better get stupid, then we can have a big chain or somethin’.” (laughter) But he don’t ever catches on. He’s still got it – this little guy here…[points to the “blame” not-I] says that, “If they weren’t so stupid, they would make me the entire boss and give me the company.” So the “blamer” goes on. And he goes on year after year bein’ broke, ever changes jobs three times a year, gets in, gets kicked out, gets another one. And the same thing is always the case – a bunch of stupid people that a brilliant genius has to work for. Isn’t that terrible? He’s a victim – really is a terrible state. So we go through these things over and over.
Now, we said we’re drawing a little map. I’m not givin’ advice, I’m only saying you can go this way. And there’s one sure way you can find out – you can check up on it and do it and certainly haven’t wasted much time. It won’t make you any more miserable than the general run has, so you won’t have lost anything. If it shouldn’t work, you haven’t done anything. So you’re not takin’ advice; I’m not tellin’ you what to do. I’m showin’ you only that if you followed I-10 goin’ south, you’ll get to Tucson after awhile. That’s all you can really say about it – you’ll get to Tucson after while. I’ve tried it several times and I can draw you a little map of it, tell you everywheres to turn, and I can tell you where the better coffee spots are. But I can’t go for you and I can’t go down there and do it for you. I can only say this is the way and wherein Tucson lies down the road. I’ll also tell you to keep on goin’ a little longer, you’ll finally get to Wilcox…but there isn’t any good coffee spots there, period, so you just go on through, okay? Okay, now we’ve talked a bit, let’s have your questions, comments, challenges, whatever way you want to do it, why we’ll talk on it a while. This is a discussion, not a lecture. I’ve only drawn a map a little ways and then we will stop and we’ll all talk about the map if you want to go to Tucson or Wilcox this week. Yes, Genevieve?
(Okay, you talk about ideas and then feelings…you get an idea and then a feeling –)
It makes a feeling – the feeling makes an idea, yeah.
(I’m sure that when you said…I’ve heard you say two things: When there’s something that needs to be done or some kind of direction you’ll need in order to accomplish this certain thing. If you want to know the difference between an intuition or a feeling so you’re kind of being directed –)
Let’s say you have intuitions and I have feelings. You have visions and I hallucinate a lot.
(laughter) (Well, I’m not saying that I’m, uh –)
Well, I know, but this is the way that everybody works. So I have intuition, you get wild hairs in your head, you know? This is the way most people work – there’s really no difference – except mine are better than yours [chuckles]. That’s the way everybody works.
(I don’t get any meaning out of it.)
I wouldn’t figure you would because you told me to start with you were “sure.” So you obviously wouldn’t get any feeling out of it.
(If I were sure, I wouldn’t be asking you, Dr. Bob.)
Okay then, an intuition and an idea and all these things is the same thing. Treat ‘em all the same. They’re not to be depended on. You can check ‘em out to see if they look, you can experiment with ‘em, but don’t accept ‘em as being absolute fact before you start on one, okay?
(Well, all right, you, um –)
You accumulate a lot of data about things rather than assuming that you have intuition. You see, most intuition is still just an idea, right?
(All right, let me just give you a “for example” –)
Okay, let’s have a “for instance”...
(Many years ago I was down in a residential area – I used to go down there every other day –and I when I went back out, I went back up to the corner and you could never see what was coming…and it really didn’t matter ‘cause it was residential, 25 miles per hour. Okay, while I was driving out I had a…something –)
Feeling or intuition or a premonition.
(Whatever it was. And it says, “Now, when you get to that sign, you stop,” and I did because I just had to. And if I had continued, there was a car going down the street 80 miles an hour, and I’d have gotten right in front of it. Now that, I feel, was a very fine thing to have.)
I think it’d be a good idea to stop there every day, honey. [he chuckles]
(I do, too. Now, I’m not trying to be funny.)
No, but I know…but you see, we have these things happen once in a while. Now, if you try to give an answer to them, you don’t know – ‘cause you’ve had all these years to think about it. You don’t know whether that was coincidence you thought that mornin’ to stop or whether some “voice out of the heavens” was lookin’ over you and says, “Genevieve, you’re gonna get knocked off on the street if you run out there in front of that car comin’.” You don’t know that, so there it is, so let’s stop every time.
(Well, then you ignore all the feelings that you might get inside cause they might be not-I’s –)
Oh yes, honey, because they will try to give you one like that – remind you of it for 20 years – so that you will begin to pay attention to ‘em. And if they can get you to pay attention to them, they’ve got you. So they’re always trying to point out and remind you, “You remember that time that you so-and-so?” and “You’d better listen to us.” And then they tell you another little goodie and “You better listen to us.” And pretty soon you’ve got it – and so then you begin to listen to these “premonitions” and etcetera and they will give you a bunch of ‘em that will cause you nothin’ but misery in this world. I have occasion to work with people quite often and (about 14 hours a day is the average bit) and they call from all over the country. And there’s one young man who’s been callin’ me for about nine years now, somethin’ like that. How long ago was we in Albuquerque?
Eleven years he’s been callin’ me.
(It was longer than that.)
For about 11 years he’s been callin’ me. He got in some area where there was a “master.” The master told him that if they would learn to listen, there would be a voice come out that would always tell them what to do. And they would be forever then set up so that they could always know the right thing to do ‘cause this voice would tell ‘em. So my little friend started listening. And he listened. And finally he got a voice to tell him what to do. But then there was another one came up along with it – one told him to be a good kid and don’t eat meat and don’t drink coffee and don’t smoke cigarettes and don’t drink beer and don’t look at girls. And then there was another one come up that said all those things was to be done. And now which one are you gonna listen to, hmm? So pretty soon he was in a tither. Well, he’s been in a tither until sometime last week on the third call one day he interrupted other “conversaters,” things that I was talking to people, and so I really laid the point down without any mercy – “They’re all blankety-blankety liars and if you’re gonna listen to ‘em don’t call me anymore! I’ve been tellin’ you for 11 years, you’re listening to a bunch of lies.” And one of ‘em will come back after I told him it was a lie. And the next day give him some evidence that it oughta be right and he really shouldn’t eat meat and he actually felt better the day he didn’t eat meat and he felt better the day he didn’t drink beer. But then two days later the other one’s tellin’ him that look he’s not gettin’ anything out of life and he’s not doing any livin’ and blah blah blah blah blah. So if you listen to one thing they tell you, you’ll listen to another. And so pretty soon they will point out that they are your great ally and they’ll make you miserable.
(If you do get an impression of what you want to do and you get up and you… –)
Go do it!
(Well, what’s the difference between impression and –)
Well, an impression is settin’ somethin’ up to do it. Now, there’s another way of saying, “I want to do this” without any impressions and etc. You see, the greatest thing the human being wants to escape is responsibility (which happens to be my next talk in a little bit – maybe we’ll talk about it in a while) but we want to escape responsibility. Now, if an impression or a voice or somethin’ told me, then I’m not responsible. I’m like Eichmann: [Hitler’s organizer of the Holocaust] “I was just carrying out orders, shouldn’t blame me.” So as long as we’re trying to escape responsibility, we’re going to find something that says – told me to do it – and that’s the way it’s gonna get done. Why not just choose what you’re gonna do? Yes, you can get an impression and you can go do that and once in a while it works out fairly well – sometimes it does, sometime it don’t, who knows. But why not just choose what you’re gonna do? You are a responsible being. I don’t want anything “let me.”
I heard that when Saul became king of all Israel or the first king (I read this in a little book somewhere; I wasn’t there but that’s the way I read it, and of course, each of us has a chance someday to take charge of this kingdom that we call the individual being, which is a kingdom of jillions of subjects) his first decree as king was to throw out all astrologers, soothsayers, people with familiar spirits. (You know, those little talkers to you.) And all this stuff was thrown out of the kingdom because that was everything that he didn’t want in the kingdom and he wouldn’t even be king… somebody else would be. So we’re all designed to be the king of this kingdom here. And I wouldn’t want an impression or a voice or a thought or a feeling or anything to take charge, even though it worked out pretty nice now and then. Because if you do, they’re gonna give you a lot that don’t work out very well, and they’re gonna make you miserable and they’re gonna have a banquet at your house every day of the week. Now, if you don’t want to be responsible for yourself, then obviously you’re gonna look for these things. And you will no doubt find excellent reasons to live by impressions, by voices, by intuition, by inspiration, and all those nice things. But I prefer not to live with ‘em – I’m pointing a map how to get along without them. And they are very undependable, as you know, because sometime when you need an impression the most, you don’t get one. Is that right, Lorene?
(Don’t you still have to have an idea – work on an idea of what you want to do first before you go do it?)
You could if you want to. You can do it, but I just say, “Well, there’s somethin’ – I’m gonna go do it!” I don’t know.
(You direct your attention to it.)
Well, you direct your attention to what it is you want to do. I don’t know. But you’re not gonna let it run your life; you still have choices. Say, “Well, I’ll look at it and I don’t choose to do that one.” You don’t have to let it lead you down the road, you see. You don’t have to become obsessed with an idea. They do obsess people every once in awhile. I tell people ideas are just wonderful but they’re hell to fall in love with. Can you accept that all right, Lorene? You see, you can get an idea and you fall in love with it, it just…like anybody else you’re in love with, they have no faults, you know, they’re just perfect. I think ideas are wonderful things, but not to fall in love with, okay? ‘Cause they’re just to be checked out – not to fall in love with, okay? Another question?
(Yeah, back to that other one where you said “pretending.”)
(Okay, when you do say, “Well, yeah, it’s completely my fault that ...” –)
I wouldn’t say it was my fault, I’d say, “I did it.”
(Oh, you did it.)
Okay, a person says, “You made me mad.” You said, "Yes, I make you mad, I have total charge of your inner feeling – I can do anything with it I want to."
(Okay, it’s just how you word it. Because you can say, "Yes I made you do that." And they’ll say, "Yeah, you did." And they just keep on agreeing with you and you don’t get anywhere.)
So just say, "Yes, I have control." ‘Cause if you say, “I made you mad,” you’re saying I have control over your inner feeling. And I would say, “Yes, I have control over you.” Now, would you agree with me that I had total control over all your thoughts and feelings and etc.? Would you agree with that?
(That’s fine.) (laughter)
Then I’m bound to keep on doin’ it because, man, I got me a Zombie and I’m gonna keep it. [He laughs] Anybody getting’ a grin? I’m havin’ a ball, okay? Okay, questions, comments? Okay, let’s take a break for about 10 minutes and when we are ready to start I’ll…[hammers on the podium]…hammer on the thing up here and we’ll start again, okay?
[Resuming after break]
I Says, “What”. X Takes Care of “How”.
Along with other things that apparently that from hearing people talk, most people feel that they are functioning below their potential. Does anybody around here ever feel that way, that you’re functioning a wee bit below your potential? Ralph, you think you’re up there? I have a cartoon on the desk that said, “My only fear is that I’m living up to my full potential.” (laughter) That’s really somethin’ to fret about.
So we have, as we said a little while ago, an “Awareness Function” – Awareness. And there is something we refer to as “X” or “Life” or you can use any word you like. Some people prefer to use “Spirit.” You use what you’re comfortable with. But it’s whatever it is that as long as a living being is around, it’s there; and when they’re no longer living, it’s not there. So whatever it is. ‘Course along with it always goes the Awareness I’ve noticed – it departs first. So then, of course, there’s a body down here that is the mechanism with which it’s carried out. So to make it somewhat easier to look at, let’s say that this [Awareness] is what says I. I don’t know whether that’s correct, but we’ll just say that’s what says I. You’re aware, you’re saying “I am,” whatever – I’m doin’ this, whatever. X is the Life (whatever it may be) and let’s say you have a perfect partnership goin’. You got a partner.
Now, if you were in business of some sort or other and you brought in an order (doesn’t matter what the order was for – was to get a car out of the ditch or it was to deliver 10,000 widgets or whatever it may be) you brought in an order and your partner could always deliver without botherin’ you at all about it, would you take on that kind of a partnership? You bring in the "what." [Writes it on the board.] That’s what I does – I says "what" and your partner takes care of all "how.” You don’t say how, tell him how to get the car out of the ditch, you don’t tell him how to dig the ditch, build the road, make 10,000 widgets and get ‘em delivered or anything else. You merely say this is what the deal is. And then the deal gets taken care of. Would you join in that kind of a partnership?
(Is that where the impression comes in to say maybe put a block of wood underneath the tire to raise it up?)
No, I don’t know. You can try all that, I don’t know. Most often we don’t believe that we have this partner is what I’m trying to point out, Lorene. We don’t usually think we have it. So when you get the widget, you get order of what you want – say “what.” [Writing it on the board] So I am going to do whatever – whatever you want to put on that line. Say, “I’m gonna do it,” okay? Now then, when you start trying to figure out all the “hows,” you get in all kinds of jams and hang-ups and laws. I’ve known people for years that had some big something they were going to do – as soon as they could get the financing for it, or as soon as they could do this other, as soon as they get enough money to get out of town and get started or whatever it is they’re going to do. And nothing ever happens. Have you ever been involved in anything like that or know about any such thing? Leo, you know about quite a number of those, don’t you? So if a person could know that they had the partner – now, that’s the hard thing of knowing, I guess – we don’t really see that it works with us every day. Now, say after while you go eat a ham sandwich – now, you merely see what you want to do, you don’t know how to do any of it – and the partner takes care of converting, transmuting the ham sandwich into you. Do you know how to get a ham sandwich made into Perry? No way.
(No, I don’t think so.)
You sure don’t. But it takes care of it every day. You don’t know how to pick up a glass of water and drink it, you don’t know how to stand up. Now, there’s no way theoretically that we can stand up – like theoretically there’s no way a bumblebee can fly. There’s no way you can stand up; you got too many squiggles in the way. And now the only way we could brace up and stand some limp being would be to hang it from its head down just far enough to reach the ground. That’s the only way to get it upright – did you ever think that? You can’t put blocks under it, you can’t push it here, you can’t even put props on it outside. You can’t do it – it’ll just fall over. It just keeps fallin’ and fallin’. The only way you can get it upright is to put a rope around its neck or a pair of tongs through its ears and pull it up far enough just to reach the ground…and then it don’t look very good – it don’t stand straight. So you have this ever’ day in the week – that you decide “I’m going to stand up,” we’ll say – and immediately your partner takes care of all the effort, okay? You don’t know how to do it.
You’re going to eat a sandwich; it eats the sandwich. You don’t know how to do it. And it digests it, converts it into, after a while, it’s pretty Donna, okay? You don’t know how to do that, do you? Nobody else does. All the scientists in the world could get together and they couldn’t change a ham sandwich into a piece of skin on you; but it does it ever’ day of the week. So when you say, “I’m going to do…” whatever it is – “I’m going to build a business,” we’ll say – X takes care of the whole show. It’ll do it all. Now, it’ll keep puttin’ little pieces in front of you and you keep sayin’ “whats” all the time, but it goes if you will go along with it.
But now let’s say that you were out and you had an order for 10,000 widgets. You been fillin’ those for years and so you wouldn’t think nothin’ of that. But come along the least thing unusual – say you got an order for 550,000 widgets. Right then doubt would arise and you would say, “But I don’t think we can do that.” Now in that case, you would never deliver the order to your partner. And then, of course, the order wouldn’t get filled, would it? It’d be just hung there. So doubt rises up almost constantly. Now, some man said (and, of course, because he said it doesn’t make it so but you can check up on it) that anything you would say you’re going to do and didn’t have a doubt, it would happen. Now, there is a few people in the world who have experimented with this, and it’s always worked out that way – that they go ahead and do it. But now, once you come up with the idea that you have to figure out – the little educated Awareness over here with its simple education and everything you’ve got. You don’t know how to even stand up. You don’t know how to walk, you don’t know how to talk – only aware of what I want to say and somethin’ takes care of it. So if you could see the “what,” then the “how” gets taken care of. Yes, dear?
(What do you – when you discover your doubt – you find out you –)
…are doubting all the time. Well, you make up your mind to quit that. You don’t know how, but you see here again, you’re asking “how can I quit doubting?” Is that right?
That’s really what your question said, wasn’t it? How can I quit doubting? I don’t know. I don’t know how to do anything. Neither do you. But you can decide what you’re gonna do. So suppose you said, "I’m gonna quit doubting." Or "I’m gonna start being confident," I think would work a whole lot better than sayin’ I’m gonna “quit” something, okay? I’ll start being confident from right now. Now, I don’t know how you get to be confident, all I would know is that you would act confident. How would you act if you were real confident, Diane? How would you be acting? In other words, anybody can see somebody walkin’ along and you say that person looks like they know what they’re gonna do and where they’re on their way. Is that right? And you can see somebody else and you never think about ‘em being confident, you know. They’re creepin’ along and hangin’ down and everything’s down and fallin’ apart. You wouldn’t think of them as being a very confident person, is that right? Hmm? That correct? Now, if you said, “I’m going to be confident from now on,” (I wouldn’t say I’m gonna quit doubting, that was kinda on the wrong end of the pole… doesn’t leave anything to do except go to sleep) if you said, “I’m going to be confident,” now you would at least start acting that way. That would be your intention to do that, is that right? And if you acted that way, very shortly you would feel confident and as you feel confident, you’re givin’ the order to your partner. Now that’s not so difficult is it, Diane? Except that we don’t want to be responsible. ‘Cause we always feel that if I don’t do something, then I can never fail, is that right? Hmm? Is that right, Ralph? If I don’t do it, I can’t fail.
That’s why you can have a lot of deals all worked up and the guy says, “I better go see my accountant or my attorney.” He can’t make up his mind, he is not confident, he wants to depend on somebody else. And Leo, did you ever have one of those deals go through when the guy throws up “I gotta go see my accountant or my lawyer?”
(Rarely. The accountant or the lawyer or someone else.)
And the lawyer and the accountant or someone is not gonna take his responsibility. So there’s no deal, no dice – you’re through. You’re whipped before you start. When he says that, you better go look for another prospect, is that right? Don’t look for him to get on the “be-back,” book, and be back in a day or two ‘cause he’s not gonna do it. Because you see that most people don’t have any confidence and they look for somebody else to have the confidence for them. But the person who has confidence is not gonna have it for you and me. He can’t, is that right? He’s just gonna go do it. Yes, sir?
(You don’t think there’s a correlation between the mental and the physical? Is that what the “what” and the “how” are?)
Well, the physical is always used by both of ‘em. You gotta have the “what” and the “how” both before the physical goes into effect, okay? The body is a Motor Function. [Starts writing this on the board:] So let’s say there is Life, and Life has an Awareness Function to determine “what” and a Motor Function to express it with, and this one [X] always takes care of the “how.” But it likes this one pretty well and so it’ll let it say “what” – this can say “what.” This is “how” and this expresses the union of those two. Then the body goes to work. Did you ever have a wonderful idea how you could make a couple of mil?
Did you ever have a wonderful idea of how you could make a couple of million dollars? Or just one?
(I thought I did.)
Yeah, but did you act upon it?
And so the body never went into function there, you see? But once you could agree that you knew “what” and your partner took on the “how,” then the body would ‘a went to work and you would ‘a had the mil by now, okay...except what the government took out of it – take most of it.
(Yeah, sure – pay bills. I mean, you could have all kinds of imaginations of how you’re going to make a million dollars in your head. But then you stop and realize, I’m not capable of doing that.)
That’s when the doubt came in and said, “The partner can’t do it,” and so now we don’t ever deliver the order. That’s what I was just talkin’ about, huh?
(Say, for example, you have this thought of going out and lifting this car – say you didn’t stop to realize you’re body is not capable of –)
How do you know that, sir? I have seen it done so I’m not sure that you’re not capable. A little old guy, not near as big as you or me either one, did it.
He got... that’s true; and you know about “assume”, don’t you?
Makes one out of you and me both. [ass – u – me]
(I think there’s certain things that I need to assume in life to carry on.)
Well, you probably can. Now, we’re talkin’ about a slight assumption – it really is an assumption – that you have a partner who can carry out anything that you can say you’re going to do now, without a doubt. Now, you just told me about all the doubt. All I gotta do to is have the doubt is one of those little not-I’s we was talkin’ about a while ago jumps up and says, “But you don’t know how.” And you don’t. And I don’t. And Leo don’t. Nobody else in here knows “how.” But you have something in there that does. Suppose you never eat until you learn “how” to digest food and convert it into human flesh and blood? Now, you do that every day. You don’t know how, you don’t have any data on it. You may have read a physiology book, but that’s far from doin’ it, isn’t that right?
(I wouldn’t last too long.)
That’s very true. Now, if everybody only did what they knew how to do, everything would come to a standstill today. ‘Cause if you didn’t stand up ‘til you figured out all the sequences of muscles to tighten up in sequence so you could stand up, you’re gonna be paralyzed the rest of your life, man. So let’s don’t wait ‘til we know “how.” You see, the “how” comes from after you’ve watched it bein’ done a time or two. Is that right? So would you say you know how to stand up? You experience standin’ up many times a day, right?
And you take it for granted. But if you ever begin to doubt and said, “Well, what’s the first muscle that you’re gonna move if you were going to stand up?” Just the first one – don’t take all the others, just take the first one. Can you tell me what it is?
Well, I can because I’ve watched it a lot of times – not that I know how to do it, but I have watched it. Now, you wanna watch the lady in front of you, and I will ask her if she will stand up. Now, you watch her standin’ up. So do you see what’s tightened up first? The back of her neck tightened up first. Now, let’s watch her stand up. Do you see there? She pulled herself up by the head just far enough to reach the ground. Now, that really is what happened. You watch it again. See? Watch. See if you can leave your neck relaxed and stand up. No, you tightened it up. (laughter) Got to get your head to lead it right on up. Now, the next one and the next one I have no idea. I lost track of it after that. I do see before you stand up you got to tighten your neck up and get your head and neck and the head pulls it up. It’s weird, but that’s the way it works. (laughter) Real weird, but that’s the way it works.
So as long as you feel you have to know “how” to do something before you do it, you will be very limited, okay? Now, after it’s done, you can watch X do it and you can figure out – well, part of the way, it went to do this. But all sorts of strange things occur. Now, if you said I’m going to do so-and-so, you’d begin (and didn’t have any doubt about it, you don’t know how you’re gonna do it, but you know it’s gonna happen) you’d see all sorts of fun little things come in and it would all be going in that direction. They just start happening. And, of course, whatever you see, you go along with it; but it’s the way it happens. But you see, most of us want to avoid responsibility so we find a reason not to say I’m going to do so-and-so. Also we like to avoid embarrassment. So the minute you say you was gonna do somethin’, wouldn’t a little voice jump up in your head or a little thought and say, “But you don’t know how!” Almost immediately, is that right? “You don’t know how to do that.” So we go along and listen to it and we go through functionin’ far below our capabilities and our potential. We’re not talking about just makin’ money or anything you want to. Most people feel far less well-being just in their physical well-being than you’re quite capable of. Most people don’t feel they’re extremely healthy. Is that right, Ralph? Hmm?
Always way down there. Now, I grew up with a lot of people who always wanted to know how you was feelin’ and checked every little thing to see if you were bound to have somethin’, an ailment wrong with you. So it was kind of "in," you know, to have this and this and this. In other words, people who had ailments got a lot a more attention than those that didn’t have. And I had about everything in the book. And one day I decided I had enough of that and I said, “I’m gonna feel good.” Now, I didn’t know how, but very shortly I was feelin’ all right, kept on goin’ that way all the time. So if you really make up your mind you’re gonna feel good, you will. But if you are fearful that you’re going to come up with cancer in a few days, you may not do it in a few days but keep it up for a while and you’ll manage to make some severe illness, okay? Just keep it up. ‘Cause most people do feel very sick all the time. And the hardest thing to sell to somebody is feelin’ good. Ask your husband this today – the hardest sales job there is (and I’ve tried to sell a lot of things in my time) the hardest thing to sell is to sell a person on feeling good.
(Because being sick means you get attention.)
Oh, it gets attention, it gets approval, and above all – “I’m not responsible.”
(This guy I knew was telling me all about his medical expenses. Here it is February and he told me all the medical expenses he had last year. And he said, “They’re gonna be more this year!”)
(And sure enough they were – he died!) (laughter)
Right! And all those expenses were his funeral expenses. Were they deductible, too?
(That took care of that.) (laughter)
Are funeral expenses deductible?
They’re not? Durn. This is too far with these expenses!
(“And they’re going to be much more this year!”)
Right! So you see that’s when a person says, “I want to feel good,” you’re being responsible for how you’re feeling. And that’s about the last thing we want because we’re told, “You never know when illness will strike.” It’s one of those things floatin’ around there in the ceilin’ and it says, “There’s ol’ Perry, I’m gonna bite him next week.” (laughter) He’ll be a victim of arthritis or whatever it is next week – he’ll catch it.
(If you feel good, the first thing that little voice in there says is, “Yeah, but it ain’t gonna last.”)
Right, ain’t gonna last long.
(“It ain’t gonna last and I’m going to pay for feeling good today!”)
Right! You run up the stairway and you say, “Wait a minute, I’m supposed to have a pain in my chest. Right now!”
You forgot you’re supposed to have a severe pain in your chest, you’re supposed to be breathin’ hard and your head dizzy, is that right? Right. It’s really surprisin’ if it’s not.
Really throwed me! So what can you make up your mind to? Do you want to feel good, Lorene? All you gotta do is make up your mind that’s what you’re gonna do, but don’t try to figure out “how” because if you do, you’re lost. And you’ll also be about like Leo said: we got doubts – “Well, I am feelin’ pretty good this mornin’,” but what might happen, Ralph? Somethin’ liable to go terrible in just a little bit and then, oh man, we’re in a mess. But you know the human being is rather “plastic” – and whatever you can really make up your mind to, that’s what you get. Would you like to feel good all the time, Donna?
(I must not because I sure don’t make up my mind.)
But you just have never decided, “I’m gonna feel good all the time.” Is that right?
(No, I haven’t. I haven’t sat down and decided that, no.)
Well, how about startin’ right now?
Huh? Just start right now. Wouldn’t you rather feel good than get a lot of attention because you got so many achies, and pains, and all that stuff? Huh? Wouldn’t you?
Okay, let’s just start. You’re gonna feel good. Now, it has nothin’ to do with the “how” or – of course, the little guy will jump up and says, “Well, how do you know you’re gonna feel good.” (laughter) I know about it – these little guys are intent upon you being miserable; and they say, “Well, but what if this happens again?” and so on. They’ll go on, won’t they, Ralph?
Yeah, all right but “what if” this comes up again? But it won’t come up unless you’re sittin’ there makin’ yourself do it. But most of us are constantly expecting that we are “victims of circumstance” and, who knows, “illness may strike me tomorrow” – it may even before the day is over, huh? May do it, you can’t ever tell – that’s what the little not-I said. But there is a few people in the world who feel good all the time. Did you know that, Donna?
(Is that right?)
Yeah, they’re like that all the time. Now they don’t get much attention, you know. People that get sick gets all the attention and everything.
I + X (Union) = Accomplishing Whatever You Want to Do
So when you have [writing it on the board:] “union” – I plus the Friend “X,” which uses the body, you equal accomplishment of whatever it is you want to do. Now, nobody can say what you wanna do. If you want to be a hermit, that’s all right, as long as that’s what you want to do. It’s not something that somebody can set up and says, “Well, you should be a howling success and make millions of dollars” or that you should do anything. Now, some people might want to feel sick. It gets a lot of attention – makes people stay at home and do all sorts of things. I had one lady I knew sat in a wheelchair for 18 years ‘cause her husband was a very handsome, good-lookin’ guy and she decided if he went off truckin’ around in the business world (which he did – had a travelin’ position) that she would probably get left. So she decided that he would stay home if she was sick all the time. So she sits in a wheelchair. She’s paralyzed, too. So she got what she set out to do – works that way. She finally told me what she’s doin’ one day. And since, I quit botherin’ with her ‘cause that’s what she’s gonna keep on doin’. No matter what I did, that’s what she’s gonna do. So that was it.
[Referring to writing on the board] (Dr. Bob, that ‘I’ down there, is it another not-I?)
No, that’s the I that says what I’m gonna put my attention on, not the not-I. The not-I will… argues with this one all the time and is interested in conditioning or hypnotizes it to believe what it says is true – the not-I. This is the real one.
(That’s the one that is I and the other one says, “no, it isn’t I.”)
This one up here says, “But you’re supposed to do” so-and-so. In other words, they’re constantly trying to hypnotize it into believing that this one is on the ball and in charge. Now, if this one is not takin’ charge, then these do take charge. And this one usually has been afraid to take charge because he’s been intimidated until it doesn’t wanna take charge. In other words, a person will say, “I don’t know what I want to do.” Now, that’s not true, Miss Diane, that is not true, ‘cause you do know. But if these up here said but if you do say that, they’re gonna fight you. Now, you do know what you wanna do, don’t you? Huh?
(I have some ideas.)
May not be acceptable to the world, but it’s what you want to do, is that right? Good, just go do it. (laughter)
(What is that up there – the "a-c…"?)
Huh? “Accomplishment,” that’s all that is – accomplishment. Accomplish anything – whether you want to be an invalid or whether you want to be permanently disabled and draw your unemployment or your retirement pay and your Social Security right now. Did you know that? You can draw that right now if you’re totally disabled. I used to practice and there was guys after guy come in and evertime you looked at him, he said, “Don’t you think I’m totally disabled? You think it’s permanently disabled?” I said, “What’s your insurance policy like?” ‘Cause he’s tellin’ me, “I’m gettin’ ready to collect on those jerks,” huh? He wanted somebody to tell him he’s totally and permanently disabled.
Purpose + Will = I
Ideal + Willpower = Conflict, Struggle, Resistance
So, let’s look at somethin’ for a minute that makes up this I we was talkin’ about that can make up its mind. Now, everything that we accomplish is kind of when we have a…[writing it on the board] “union of purpose and will.” Now, I’m not talkin’ about will power. Willpower’s when you don’t want to do it, but you go on and do it anyway. And that don’t last very long. Have you practiced willpower a time or two, Linda? Was doin’ somethin’ you didn’t want to do but you forced yourself to go do it anyway under great duress. And your willpower didn’t last very long. Now, “will” is when I want to do something. So, what makes up I is a union of purpose and will. Now, in certain books that’s called…there’s all kinds of mythical books tells about two lovers – the beloved and the lover – and the lover was always chasin’ the beloved and couldn’t ever catch her for some reason or other…somethin’ was always not there. Now, this is what is union and this is what marriage really is. Now, when you started out, life (all our training and everything) said you should not have this. Your purpose was to be put away and you were to do what you [writing it on the board] should do, ought to do, have to do, and what you must do. Now, you’re all acquainted with those, are you not? Do you know what you should do, what you ought to do, what you have to do and what you must do – do your reasonable amount of that, huh? Now, your purpose (whatever it was) was to be eliminated. Now, in order to do this you would have to have “willpower,” is that right? ‘Cause you don’t want to do a one of ‘em. ‘Cause if you wanted to do it, there would be no should, have, oughta be’s or musts on it, is that right? Hmm?
So this is replaced with, shall we say, an “ideal” that someone set up for you and in order to do it, you’d have to have “willpower.” In other words, you’d have to be doin’ things you don’t want to do. Now, have you been along that road, Donna? You had all the shoulds, ought to’s, have to’s and the musts; and then you had to practice willpower in order to do it. And you never feel like you’ve done it very well because you didn’t want to do it in the first place, hmm? It’s like all these things you see around today that says you mustn’t eat this or you mustn’t drink this ‘cause it’s bad for your health. You see those ever’ day, don’t you? Now, let’s see if they’re really interested in your health, your well-being, when they put these out or are they are just doin’ somethin’ to see if they can make you have that and this, which makes you miserable.
Now, would you feel it would be rather dangerous to any of us’s health to eat gravel? Chew it up and wreck your teeth, and it would be awfully heavy in your tummy, is that right? Hmm? Now, I’ve been around innumerable gravel pits, gravel trucks and I’ve never seen a sign yet, said: “Don’t Eat the Gravel – It would be Dangerous to your Health.” Have you? Has anybody else here seen one? Now, really if I was interested in your well-being, I’d certainly put a sign on gravel not to eat it. It’ll break your teeth and wreck in your belly. It’d be pretty miserable to get rid of it. So you wouldn’t talk about that, would you? So there’s really only something that you want that’s ever been prohibited to you, is that right? Huh? Somethin’ you really want to do has been prohibited – told you it was bad, wrong. So you not only have the “should,” “have to,” and the “must,” you also have the “should not,” “ought not,” “have to not” and “must not,” is that right? You have that, too.
So this is what the usual person is made and so then this is why it’s loaded with not-I’s. That’s where the not-I’s come from because they’re in an argument about it. Now, if you didn’t have this, you would have no not-I’s. So you do not have a union of the ideal and willpower – you have a struggle, conflict, and resistance with it. Now, whatever your purpose may be [writing it on the board] we’ll say here is your purpose, right here – and you are free to go on and do it. You have seen through all of this joke about the “should” and the “have to” and the “ought to” and the “must” and the “willpower,” and all this stuff that you’re supposed to have. It’s a great thing to have willpower, isn’t it? Ohhhh yeah. And so you have your purpose and that’s what you want to do and you go do it.
Now we have something that will work – here for those two joined is that real I that very seldom gets to run. Now, that is an individual – there is only one being there. There is no not-I’s. There is nothing to annoy you, torment you, pick on you. There is only you. Now what is your purpose? You’ve never been allowed to even think of it, have you, Donna? Have you, Jean? You haven’t even been allowed to think of it. You had to think of what you should do, ought to do, have to do and must do all your life, is that right? And you didn’t want to do it but you struggled with yourself once in a while to do it some way or other, huh? And so then it says in the Scripture, “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together” – that’s what got joined together and everybody divorced it the day you got born. It’s been pushed on the side ever since. Here’s the marriage. This is a union. You want to do what your purpose is, don’t you – if you could ever find out what it is, huh? You would want to do it. So there’s no willpower, there’s simply will. And it’s simply that you go do whatever you want to. And you function beautifully – no struggle and no tearin’ apart of the body, no destruction to yourself. You’re doin’ what you want to do. But when I talk to somebody about what they want to do, do you know what they always tell me? “I don’t know what I want to do.” Do you know what you want to do, Faith?
(Some of the time.)
And then do you have any trouble carryin’ it out or is it because you shouldn’t do it? If you really can go ahead and do what you want to do, there is no conflict, no struggle, no resistance, no not-I’s, no regret, no guilts, no anxiety over it. You just go do it, is that right? Now, why can’t everthing be that way? Can’t you do that? You just do what you wanted to do; but isn’t it pretty easy to see what you want to do? When you can see what you are, where you are, what’s going on here and what you can do then, obviously, you know what you want to do. You know what your purpose is.
So I have a very simple little purpose and it doesn’t bother me at all and I do it all the time and I don’t get in any conflict or struggle about it. But it’s just a simple purpose. But it keeps me busy. And I live all right. I have everthing I really require and a few luxuries on the side along with it. And only doin’ what I want to do – what my purpose is; and I don’t have to exercise any willpower to carry it out. Now, you want to know what my purpose is? It wouldn’t go mean it’d be anything for you, but I’d be happy to tell you what it is.
I recognized one time that when we look around, what we are, we’re privileged invited guests. Where? At this beautiful estate called Earth. What’s goin’ on here? They’re having a big party, obviously. Jillions of people runnin’ around all playin’ games, most of ‘em don’t know what they’re doin’. That makes the game even more interesting when you see what’s going on. And so it would look to me that the only thing for me to do is to be what to me is a good guest. If I’m a guest at a big party I want to be what to me is a good guest. So my purpose is to be what to me is a good guest. I’m not gonna ask anybody else what a good guest is. It’s me – what would I do? That’s my only purpose is to be what to me is a good guest. So to be a good guest would be considerate of the Host and of the estate and all the other guests. I would be harmless to the best of my ability and make some little contribution. Not because I should or ought to or have to, but simply as my way of saying “thank you” for having been invited to the party. Now, that’s my purpose and I have a will to carry it out and there’s absolutely no conflict, no struggle, no resistance and I can make some little old contribution any way I might have to see fit. And I don’t owe any contribution. I’m simply doin’ it as a way of sayin’ thank you. Now, what’s so hard about a thing like that? Yes, dear.
(Is it possible when you say, “I don’t know,” that that’s another way to say I want to avoid responsibility?)
(‘Cause you always know.)
I think everybody knows what they want to do. I think everybody has some purpose that they want to carry out (whether examined or otherwise) and it makes no difference. And you will to carry it out but you don’t want to be responsible – what if it hurts later or somethin’ like that? So it would be better if somebody else would tell you what to do, is that it? So they will tell you what you should do, ought to do, must do, and have to do. You won’t like that, but if you do it, it will be with willpower which is conflict, struggle and resistance…and you’ll be miserable anyway, and age and wear out by the time you’re 65. So the government won’t have to pay you Social Security very long. Then we can all save money, hmm? I don’t choose to do it. I don’t even want to draw Social Security – I don’t need that stuff. Okay, let’s have a question, comments, discussions, what-have-you. Do you want to be really I, one of you there? If you do, you set your purpose and your will and do ‘em together, okay? Simple, easy, and it won’t hurt anybody, will it? I don’t think that since I have really seen what my purpose was – that my whole bit was to be what to me is a good guest – I don’t think anybody can say I have harmed them.
(I have a question – way back in your first talk – when you talked about thinking with the not-I’s, okay?)
Not “with” ‘em. They do the rattlin’, okay? We call it thinking, okay?
(And you also used the term “thinking I’m going to feel good.” Now is there any way –)
Well, I didn’t say “thinking.” If I did, it was a slip. I said “make up my mind” I’m going to feel good.
(I recognize that concept. How can we differentiate – because sometimes the not-I will come in with a really strong thing, and get a hold on me for hours.)
What I have noticed is that the not-I has something to say or imply derogatory about Number One or somebody else at all times. Does anybody want to check that out?
So, if I hear anything derogatory about me, thee or another (from within or from without) I accept that that is a not-I and I’m not gonna put any value on what it said. If I am cookin’ along and I hear all this rattlin’ goin’ on (or even from outside) if there’s anything derogatory about me or thee or another, I say that’s a not-I and has no value, okay?
(Right. Thank you.)
Okay? Yes, Lorene?
(All right, say somebody comes up to you and they give you a gift, and you accept it, and they don’t say anything about it but there’s an obligation.)
That’s their problem. They give it to me, my obligation as far as I’m concerned (and no obligation) but my “job” is being what my purpose is, is to be a good guest. I will say, “Thank you.”
That’s all. And if they feel I’m obligated to do somethin’, then they were not givin’ me a gift, they were horse-tradin’ and they didn’t let me in on the contract. (laughter)
(Okay, you didn’t know this and later they come up and they make some –)
And told me that I should replace the gift, is that right?
(No. You know, like –)
I should give them a gift or somethin’.
(I’ve given you all these things and I want you to be living the way I want you to.)
“Oh, I didn’t know you were buying me! I thought you were givin’ it to me. Because you didn’t ask me what the sale price was.” If they’d ‘a asked me what the sale price – I may be for sale, but not at their prices.
So are you for sale for the price of those little gifties that were brought to you? You didn’t even get in on the negotiation. I think a sale is a deal between two people at arm’s length, is that right? They neither one have to buy nor sell.
(“Neither a buyer nor a seller…”)
In other words, I’m not under any obligation to buy and he’s not under any obligation to sell, is that right? Now we can do a transaction. Somebody comes up and gives me a few trinkets and then comes along and says, "Look I thought I was buying you," the price wasn’t right. (laughter) ‘Cause I’ll tell you, I may be for sale, but the price is big, the price is heavy. So I want to be in on it, okay? So I would simply say, "Oh, I didn’t know you were buying because I didn’t have the price tag on. Now if you want to buy me, we’ll negotiate the price tag." Okay? These trinkets won’t get it, you know. The last big real estate transaction was when they bought Manhattan Island for $24 worth of beads. [End of CD #1 of 2]